JEFF's POV

Sasha.

The girl who dreams.

The girl who never held grudges.

The girl who was one of the purest souls on Earth.

The girl who loved me so much that she never once saw the negative aspects of loving someone like me.

Everyone has a story. I have my own too.

I still don't know where Sasha and I went wrong. Everything was perfect. We were really good friends. She was everything a girl would want to be. Funny, witty, intelligent, childish. She wasn't physically attractive. I agree with that. But she did have the heart of an angel and that million dollar smile. Not once did I realize she had all her emotions bottled up. Not once did I see through her smile and happiness. And now that I know her, I feel responsible for every damn thing that has happened to her in these two years.

I was the one who wanted to gain popularity. 17-year-old Jeff had a dream, and it was to be in the spotlights. The 19-year-old doesn't want it now. Not anymore. Not when I realized how much I hurt her when I left. Not once in my life did I feel so guilty.

I didn't even realize when tears overflowed. The last letter was held in a tight grip, other brownish-yellow letters scattered all around.

This time, it was my fault. And I can't do a thing about it.

I was always the dream child of my parents. The one who was in their control. From discipline to A grades, everything was what they wanted. I opted for Biology because they wanted me to become a doctor. I didn't play video games all my life beause they did not want me to. Every fucking thing was for them. Their wants, their dreams, their ways, their Jeff. I never wanted that. And the only way to escape that was being popular. Teachers recognized me. And I made more friends. My indisciplinary acts and low grades were easily excused and that was exactly what I wanted.

Sasha was there throughout. There were times when I wanted to drag her with me and talk to her. There were times when I wanted to go to our park and sit under our tree. But reputation always came first. Maybe I did not realize it then. But now I do. Sasha taught me what friendship was. But I left before she could teach me its value.

I don't love her. I never did. But she did leave an imprint of hers on my heart.

Both of us were an year older than our batch mates. When we were friends, we always used to see ourselves as seniors. Others didn't, but we did. We used to point out arrogant seniors and bitches say "Aah! You are mere tiny tots."

Good times they were. And now that I think of them, I miss her. Her angelic laugh, her perfect smile, our heart-felt conversations, everything. Our bond was real. Not the fake smiles I used to give my popular friends. Not the fake promises my ex-girlfriend used to believe in. Xandra was my girlfriend. I was popular, I was good-looking, and thus was expected to have a girlfriend. Xandra was the best I could find. But we didn't last for long. She was totally my opposite.

Sasha was missing for 4 whole months. I did notice. Everyday I used to try spotting her anywhere. In the playground, near the bleachers, her locker, even her classes. But she was nowhere. Little did I know she was in the hospital, fighting death.

I wiped my tears and arranged the letters date-wise. I picked the letter written 30 September and read it again. The letter which caught my breath the first time I read.

Sasha was raped. And she kept this secret hidden for 5 whole years. She could've told me had I been with her as a support. But no, I left. I left because I thought this reputation of mine mattered more. Leaving a girl behind.

I would make sure to kill the gang if I ever find them. But that definately won't change the fact that Sasha is dying. I can't believe how she survived these 4 months of torture. Maybe she had the will to survive. Maybe fate wanted to fulfill her wish. Maybe I could save her.

It was already around 11 p.m. Visiting hours might have ended. I promised myself to go the next day. Definately. My birthday would be the day I'd meet her after 2 years of complete ignorance and hatred.

I went to my shelf and took out a big black box from the drawer. Dust was accumulated over the box. I almost forgot it existed. On top of it, in cursive, was neatly embedded

"Happy 17, Jeff.
Loads of love and pizza.
Live life till you're breathless;
Celebrate every moment;
Happy Birthday!
~Your Sasha."

I opened the box slowly, with a fear I might ruin what was inside. A memory I had left aside for two years. In the box, were colorful photos of us. Some small in size, some really large. Every photo had an emoji, with a date, and a message written on it. In the center was a large photo dated 21st June. She was wearing a sky blue sundress, her long brunette curls dancing on her shoulders. Hazel eyes were looking at my black ones. I was smiling. A smile I had long forgotten. It was picture perfect. Sunrays were in the perfect angle and we were surrounded by green. A photo we took under our tree. Under the photo, in the same writing was,

"You never know what would come next. Accept it with a smile. Welcome it in your life. 'Cause that's what life is all about. Giving, forgiving, and forgetting. Love <3"

Other photos were attached to the covering of the box. Selfies we took on our picnic, a photo of us dancing in the party, and some casual clicks. Every message was worth the picture. But that's not what caught my attention. My eyes were glued to a picture in the corner. The one taken at the party. Her brown curls fell lightly on the shoulders and she had her mouth slightly open. Gazing into her hazel eyes were my black ones. Our faces inches apart. One move and we would've kissed.

I didn't remember who took this photo. But it was worth keeping. I remember that day as nicely as I remember yesterday. Every detail. Every move we did. Every time we were close enough make our breaths take a pause. Under the photo was written

" Let's play a game-you and I
Of strangers who once meet.
You, a time traveller, and I, your wife.
I colour my hair grey
And tell you stories from the future we share
Aren't they lovely-
Flashbacks to take, memories to make?"

I took a deep breath as I closed my eyes. All I could see were hazel depths and an angelic smile. How could I not realize this before? How did I miss the insincerity of those depths? How could I not be there when she needed me the most? How did all this happen without my notice?

I started feeling dizzy. Sweat started forming on my forehead and my heart started beating a bit faster than required. Accustomed with these kinda panic attacks, I started taking long breaths to slow down the attack. It did stop eventually. Sighing, I put the letters neatly in the box and put it back.

Memories were rushing like flood in my brain. Her smile, her rants, her eyes, her incoherent blabberings, her.

If only I could save her...

***

Jeff's POV as promised. Yuhuuu! Finally!
Sorry it has been a long time since I updated :(
Another Jeffie POV yet to come.
Anyways, any ship name for Jeff and Sasha?
I plan Jesha or Jasha.
Yay? Nay?

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