Dear Crush.

December's up! Probably the last month of my survival. And then, BAM! I'm no more. Ooh...your buurrthhdaayy month!

The past few days have been a rush. With overseas doctors and special treatment. They expected the therapy to work, but unfortunately, it did not. They were like, what the eff? Trust me, for a minute, I even sensed a feeling on my legs. But the next moment, it was back to being numb again. The doctors were practically clueless about my condition, and I too refused to tell them that little drug story of mine. I want to tell them so that they can do something, but everytime I open my mouth, the words dry out.

Plus, I also wanna see how is it after death. Is there actually a heaven and a hell? Will I meet my parents? Would I turn into another living being? Just wondering.
I know you are thinking if I am crazy or something, but really, the thought just came to my mind. They say, even death is for a reason. Maybe someone in the world will benifit from my death. If someone comes, they have to go, right?

YOLO. You heard of it? You Only Live Once. I don't know if I enjoyed this life. I don't know if I took a pledge to do every crazy thing possible till the last day. I also don't know if any of my tiny wishes are fufilled. All I know is, I'm happy for being here. Every soul is sent for a specific reason. I'm happy, for I know I've satisfied the need of my birth. I'm happy, cause I met people like you. The world is cruel. It has always been. I'm happy I could survive through this cruel world.

Today, I cry. Not because I'm dying. Not because I could not live those awaiting 63 years of my life. I cry, because I know there would be this someone in the universe who would miss my presence. I cry, 'cause every happy moment in these 19 years would be erased. I cry, because I would no longer be that someone to the world.

Don't mind me getting all philosophical now. I just read the Bible and Quran. I wanted answers. And they gave me just the right ones. I highly recommend the books to every human out there. Christ was born for a reason. So was Buddha. And Durga. Maybe I'm the human incarnation of them. Haha XD

Chuck my writing. I'm trying really hard to write properly with trembling fingers. I hope I'll be able to write another letter really soon.

Your non-existant friend,
Sasha.

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