Author's Notes:

Well damn, this came way too late Consider it as a 2019 present? Anyway, this... has been real fun with you guys. The story definitely got me into writing again, and I will not let go of this fandom just yet. Hoping to write more this year, whether it be danvid or another fandom. But anyway, this was super fun to write and um... quite emotional too. I legit laugh and cry as I type all this down, ugh, back to the topic.

I reaaaally don't know if I can write a sequel? Like, I want to! I seem to have it all plotted down but... maaan idk. I just gotta think hard about it. So for now, more angsty danvid for y'all. Thank you all for reading and commenting! I feel y'all's pain TT-TT I cri for too. Some of you are hella awesome, with your words and support. This end of the year has been a blast. Till we meet again soon?

When he enters the cabin, everyone's eyes are trained on him. Gwen's the first one to approach him, taking his arm slowly. When David eyes her suspiciously, she almost hesitates. There was a quiet stillness around the room; a tension that can be cut by a blade.

"Let me. I need to disinfect the wound and wrap it," he sees her grow uneasy when she mentions disinfecting it. David nods and lets her escort him to the mattress where the first aid kit waited for him. He turns his back on the kids as he takes off his shirt. He can practically feel Max's glare burning straight through him. He lets Gwen dab a cotton ball on his skin with disinfectant and he hisses at the discomfort. She wraps a bandage around it. He's thankful of her precision and steady hands. He's been shaking ever since he walked out of the cabin.

"Thank you," he says quietly. Gwen sits beside him, hand on his knee. She nods acknowledged and helps him put the shirt back on. Once he's all covered, he turns to the remaining members. Hold on a sec, he makes a quick headcount. His eyes dart around the cabin. "Where's Neil and Preston?" he asks.

"Yeah, about that," Max starts with a shaky voice. With David's heavy attention on him, he shifts in place uncomfortably. "I sort of made them come after Space Kid."

"Space Kid was the only one I found," Gwen stands up. "Max." She says warningly.

"I'm sorry! I thought I—wait," the boy furrows his eyebrows. "You didn't find them?" At the same time, something dawns on them as it did on David. Oh no, he could feel himself crumbling. They've messed up so much in a day. For this to pile up...

"We can't leave them out there," David says.

"For all we know, they're probably dead!" Max looks away and rubs his arms self-consciously. David wasn't blind. He knew Max felt more than guilty and wished for more than anything for that to be false. David could see Max's pessimism eat at him.

"We could grab a couple flashlights." David races to the windows. He sweeps the broken shards away with his boot and momentarily worries if Space Kid got hurt in the process. He puts that thought aside as he looks out and sees the orange hue of the sun setting.

"What if they're too far out to hear us?" Gwen speaks up. "It'll take us till night to go around looking for them." The doubtful tone in her voice didn't go unnoticed. The brunette turns to her unpressured.

"Then once it's dark, they'll see the flashlights," he's stalking across the room rummaging through their packs for the materials. "Gwen, don't give up on me now. Those kids are counting on us," he says. He grabs one and tosses it to Gwen. "We did it for Max. We can do it for Preston and Neil too." He looks at her hard. Once he gets the affirmative nod he's been waiting for, he grabs the other flashlight and his bat.

"And you're going to leave us here?" Max puts his hands up. "No explanation whatsoever—"

"The explaining can wait," David turns to him a bit disdainfully. His actions haven't been forgotten and David's still scarred by the recent events—quite literally. Kid or not, he still put someone at gunpoint. He didn't think the kid would actually shoot but when he did, David was beyond lucky to only get grazed.

"Preston and Neil's lives are top priority. If you want me to explain myself, I will. I'll explain Daniel's side if I have to. But Max, what you did today might have cost someone else's life. We need to find Preston and Neil right now," he opens the door, ready to walk out with purposeful strides but freezes when he sees the familiar outline of a child in the distance.

"Neil!" he calls out. Seeing the figure look up, he knows he's been heard. David runs and comes after the boy. He hears the boy call out the same time Gwen calls him back in warning. As he hugs Neil to his chest, he could hear the boy tear up. He was heaving and soon as he pulled back, David's shirt was damp.

"Let's get you inside, buddy," David croons, losing whatever tension grew on his shoulders just a few minutes ago. Neil nods as he lets David pull him by the arm.

"Where's Preston?" He asks as soon as they enter the mess hall. He hears Neil tear up some more and he looks at him alarmingly. Gwen came to the boy's side and patted his back. Even Max started to get worried.

"Neil? Where's Preston?" Max comes up to the other boy.

"He..." Neil hiccups. He wipes his tears away and looks at his hands. "We ran into a bunch of them. Too much of them. We lost track of-" he looks straight up, his eyes finding Space Kid. "I'm sorry." He breaks down completely. Gwen puts her arms around him and eyes Max accusingly.

"He didn't make it," Neil whispers, after a moment of silence. David stiffens. Max takes a step back as if it punched him.

"No. Don't you dare fucking lie at a time like this Neil, or I swear to god—"

"I'm not lying!" Neil looks up from Gwen's comforting hug. His eyes were red. "You made us come after Space Kid. He was ahead of me and I tried catching up. Then just like that, something came at him and he was tackled down." Neil sniffs. "I saw it with my very own eyes. Why would I lie about something so horrible?"

"He had a knife, didn't he?" Max asked guiltily.

"He panicked, okay?  Anyone would've at that situation! He stabbed the- the thing in the chest. Multiple times but it didn't work. Before I could reach him, the monster already bit him. He was..." Neil took a deep shuddering breath, "he was already chewed down to the bone," he mumbles shakily, almost out of breath. It sounded like he was traumatized.

"I ran. I couldn't save him. I know when things go from bad to worse, to shit, this is fucked up! I- I had to leave him. I couldn't even give him a peaceful death. I ran before I saw him get reanimated." Neil shook his head, his eyes aimed downward.

David felt the urge to slam his bat down; to break something. This group was falling apart faster than he thought. He wanted to scream. He wanted to curse and just let it all out. They were out there 'cause of him and Gwen. Every action has its consequence. He combs back his hair roughly and stares at the ceiling in despair. He didn't want to cry but right now—

Preston was gone. They lost another one. David comes up to Neil and hugs him harshly. He captures Gwen's miserable stare. May Preston always be with us, he communicates silently. Her lips twitch, not exactly a smile but something akin to it, filled with sadness.

"I'm glad you came back to us, Neil." David whispers. Neil nods against his chest. Once he lets go, he walks over to the window and looks out. Somewhere out there in the forest, Preston's body could be meandering, looking for them. It fills him with misery. If only there was a way to prevent his death. If only David found them sooner. Anything could've happened. He could've been the one bitten instead of Preston. But no, Preston's fate had other plans. Every action has its consequence. David should've learned that lesson by now.

"And you're not injured?" he asks Neil. The boy shakes his head. Gwen inspects him either way. He waits for them to settle as he leans on the wall. He was hurt, tired, and wanted to get things over with. He leans his weapon on the wall as he looks out the window one last time, looks to where the cabin is.

"What compelled you to do it?" he says after a second, eyes not focusing on anything. He just wanted to drift off, somewhere where pain and hurt didn't exist. He turns his back on the window and faces Max. "I should be lecturing you about the cons of using a gun on your first try, but I'm going to put that aside and ask... why." David walks forward.

"Why... did I try to save your life? Why did I want Daniel dead? Why did I try to do something a normal person would do?" Max bites back. "Daniel. Doesn't. Love you." He emphasizes. David tries not to let this get to him.

"Our affair is none of your business." He says curtly.

"None of our-" Max grimaces. "I saw a threat. It's only right to terminate said threat before it ends us. Do you know nothing from zombie movies? This is the exact shit that fucks everyone over just 'cause of some stupid kid's mistake. And that stupid kid is you, David!" he points a finger at him. "And maybe Space Kid," Max added.

"Hey," a faint protest comes from the other boy in the room.

"Look, the thing is, if you think Daniel has feelings for you, you're wrong," Max says. David can feel his cool mask breaking. He holds it. "I'm seeing the husk of a once living breathing human being. Should I even point out that he's dangerous for you?" despite their height, Max manages to come up to him and tug on his shirt. "He's a zombie and he will bite you!"

David gently pries his hands off his shirt and puts the boy at a distance. "I've said this countless times before and I will say it again, because I believe it's true. Daniel will never bite me unless I say otherwise. He won't hurt me, unless I say otherwise," he gulps. "He respects my wishes the same way I respect him. He came after you because you hurt me. If that didn't look like he cared, then I don't know what will."

"He came after me 'cause I almost shot him," Max counters. Then he nervously looks at the ground. "Uh, and you. Sorry about that, by the way."

David takes a deep breath and allows himself to smile, albeit forcedly. "If you aimed a bit further to the right, you would've shot me. But all is forgiven," he puts a hand on the boy's hair and ruffles. "Except your actions against Daniel. It's wrong to take a gun and do whatever you deem is right without giving us a notice. You acted rashly and this cost us... our group."

David looks around them. They were one person less. It would hurt to see the numbers decrease.

"I was only helping you," Max grumbles.

"I didn't need your help," David looks at him sharply. He maintains his calm demeanor and exhales. "I mean, I appreciate you caring for me, Max. But killing Daniel won't solve whatever conflict you have. He won't..." a harsh abrupt laughter comes from his throat. "He won't use me against you."

"As much as I'm against Max's actions," Gwen intercepts, gaining David's attention. "I agree with what Max said. Daniel is a threat and if you can't see that, David, then it might cost you your life." She frowns. She reaches out to him but David jerks away. He flinches like her touch burned him.

"No no no, he isn't," David insisted. He was close to breaking. Listen to what I'm saying. Why aren't they listening? He's freaking out internally but he levels it out with even breathing.

"Yes, he is," Max, feeling boosted with Gwen's support, pushes on. "Daniel is beyond saving. He only craves to eat and, I don't know, maybe pass on the infection."

"Even if-" David swivels to Gwen, betrayed at having her speak against him. "-if he has feelings for you, it doesn't mean you're entirely safe from him." She hesitates, looking away from David.

"But he saved me!" Space Kid intervenes. David felt the childish need to nod.

"And we're thankful for that," Gwen says. "But we have to understand that there are things that are the way they are. The virus might not be that bad right now, but it could get worse." She calmly puts a hand on David's shoulder. "I'm sorry about everything. I'm sorry this has to happen, but Daniel, no matter what you say, can and will hurt us sooner or later," Gwen mumbles under her breath enough for only David to hear.

He only lends her one ear. She can't sway him; can't sway his final decision. "But Gwen, listen to me. Daniel isn't dead. His heart beats and it beats for me." He turns to her desperately, catching her hands. If he can't persuade her now... "I'm not making this up. He's alive in there somewhere and I want to bring him back. Please, let me." He croaks out. Her hands tighten around his, her eyes harden.

"No. I'm not letting you do this to yourself. David, get a grip—"

David knows when some things are futile. He knows when some people just... won't understand. He lets go; lets his hands go slack as he fights back the tears. He's staring at Gwen but what she doesn't know is that inside, he's letting go of everything too. He's done everything to shine him in good light, to show her that Daniel is not the enemy. But she didn't let him in; didn't listen to David too.

This flaw he has. It has consumed him entirely. David's got a taste of what this corruption is, what it feels like for others to not understand. Out of context, anyone would oppose to his relationship with Daniel. Anyone—but him.

He nods grimly without really looking at her. He can stare through her steely gaze now; no longer does it make him quiver. No longer will he heed his best friend's words. He separates from her like a gap slowly widening. The empty hole she left in his chest is like a black hole, eating him up from the inside. David never wanted this divide. But she... won't ever understand. Daniel was the only one who could help him.

He grabs his bat and heads to the door.

"Wait, David? Where are you going?" He can feel Gwen's voice reaching out to him one more time, like fingers desperate to hang on something before falling. David was that something—he was the ledge.

For a while, he stands there. His shoulders straighten as he turns back to her one final time. "I think I need some space," his lips shyly tilt upward, a traitorous look. "I think your words... have brought the light to my darkness. Both you and Max. I need to think of... letting Daniel go." He watches the sagging relief, the look of pure happiness form in Gwen's face. He almost rears back. Even Max looked relieved, but Neil was looking way too suspicious.

"So where are you going?" Neil stands up.

David considers his bat, eyes shining. He gives it a sickening twist in the air, admiring the weight in his hands and the arc it makes as he maneuvers it. Lies after lies come out of his mouth. "Off to finish what Max should've done." He nearly gulps the words back down.

"Wait- I didn't think you'd-" Gwen pauses, uncertainty clogging her throat.

"I think it's a personal matter between us. If I choose to end things, I rather... end things with a bang," he chuckles weakly, repulsed at himself for talking about Daniel like this. It won't matter. I'll make it up to him, he thinks happily. His guts twist. Then everything comes rushing at him—him leaving Gwen, leaving the kids. Leaving the camp and the life he had before it. Goodbye, Darla. Cameron. For all the people who've made it with me in this journey. He doesn't voice this out though.

"But... killing him? I thought you were so against it-"

"Gwen, I think you've made your point when you said he would never change. When Max said he'd never love me back. I get it. Maybe you're right. Do you honestly think I could get through this with him still here?" he shakes his head. "I need to get rid of him." Without waiting for her reply, he unwinds the chains, throws it aside and opens the door.

"Wait," Neil stops him.

He hates how he can easily find the cracks in David's mask. He turns slowly.

"Just like that? You let a few words get to you and suddenly, you're letting him go?" Neil furrows his eyebrows. "But, it doesn't make sense. You seemed so... attached." David tries to maintain his breathing. Any sign of him panicking and Neil will catch on. He was always the smartest in the bunch.

"I can't put Daniel before this camp. My weird infatuation for him won't help our situation." He says calmly.

"You were there to defend him. You got in the way of a gun, twice! For him! How are you so quick to let this one go?" Neil pushes.

"I learned to let go of a lot of things," he looks up at Gwen. How her broken look killed him. She thinks she knows what he's talking about. She thinks I'm talking about Darla, he thinks sadly. Let her. "There are some people you cross paths with, but when the time comes, that's all they are. You cross them and soon, you're moving past them. It's the same for everybody." He swore he caught the tears in Gwen's eyes before he turned and walked out. He can hear Neil question him further but Gwen's voice silences Neil.

As soon as the cabin door closes and he's too far out to turn back, David lets the tears flow.

"Goodbye, Gwen. I love you."

. . . . .

It's all he ever wanted to feel. Not the pain of dealing with loss, not the rage when someone got in your way, not the... unhappiness. Daniel's hand is woven tight around his as he leads him deeper into the forest. He's wheezing slightly, not completely healed from his separation with Gwen. How it would hurt her to find out he didn't come back.

"Daniel," he murmurs his name like a chant. The blonde only rub circles into his hand comfortingly. The farther they are from camp, the lesser chance they'll have of seeing him. He walks alongside the other, feeling his skin brush against the other. He took off his parka along the way, not needing the extra cloth.

Daniel pauses and faces him. David smiles, cheeks stained and eyes puffy. He cups his cheek, feeling the coldness spread through his palm. The other mimics his smile sadly and leans his forehead against David's. He takes his hand in his and uses his thumb to carve out letters.

'Sure?'

David nods after a second. "This is the only way." He whispers the words between them. His lips were so close to touch.

He stares at him with drunken love. David has fallen. He's too far gone to get any help. This was the only cure for his aching need. He unwraps the bandages Gwen wove under his armpits and around his shoulder. He winces as the bandage uncovers the still open wound. It wasn't big, but it wasn't just a scratch. He discards the white cloth and holds Daniel's face. His fingers linger till it dances down his neck. He touches the collar, cold and hard. If only there was a way to remove it so he could bury his face in the other's neck.

Daniel steps closer to him. He's holding his waist. David's face heats up, despite the coldness. Their noses touch. Daniel's giving him his last chance to back away, but even David could read the need in Daniel's dilating eyes.

He nudges him with his nose. "I want this." He says. Daniel looks at him for a long time. David's breathless from just staring. Maybe it was the anticipation of turning. Would he really turn out like him? All he could do was hope as Daniel's mouth descends on him. But he aims at his lips. He's kissing him. It was chaste and quick, but David felt his world spin. Cold flesh against his warm, chapped lips. Oh god, he nearly buckles. His own darkness grows, craving more of Daniel.

Then his mouth is on his wound. Daniel holds him against the tree as his tongue darts out and licks his injury. David flinches, uncommon to the feeling. Daniel's hands are supportive, searching, and comforting. He melts in his touch. The feeling of pain and pleasure all mix, warmth and cold colliding. David goes dizzy.

He yelps as he feels his teeth graze the wound. Waves of numb pain waft through him. Daniel's body keeps him upright. He flexes his fingers, feeling them go numb. He holds onto Daniel's head, threads his fingers through his hair. He bites down his tongue, afraid to make any noise as the other bit and licked and touched him everywhere.

David was a mess. He could feel his toes starting to numb too. As Daniel lifts his head, David doesn't hesitate to capture his lips once more. His hands feel like jelly as he wraps them around the other's neck. Daniel lays him down and cuddles up beside him. David welcomes the coldness that started to spread in his body. He turns to face the other and finds Daniel smiling at him.

"Don't let me go," he whispers against Daniel's lips after kissing him one more time. His vision goes blurry. He blinks and soon lets the darkness overcome him. He sleeps in Daniel's arms as the other only watches him. He waits. And waits.

When David opens his eyes, they're different. When his gaze lands on Daniel, Daniel's holding his face in place. Daniel forces him to remember him. He cries in relief as David's familiar green eyes clear up the fog and focuses on him. He chokes on his unbelieving expression and kisses him.

David holds him close, remembering only the boy with blonde hair and those lively blue eyes. He remembers. The white shirt, the collar, the wound. David's mind supplies him with a name. Daniel. He was his purpose for living. He was the reason why everything looked distorted. But he didn't care, as long as he had this man in his arms. His shoulder hurt, but he didn't dare look away from Daniel's loving gaze. He was stuck and he would gladly remain wherever he was.

Because David couldn't have asked for anything better.

That night, Gwen and the group had scouted the forest, looked high and low for their friend. He never returned after the moon was up in the sky. Something was wrong and Gwen had a dreadful feeling she knew why. She didn't want it to be true but as they saw the cabin door wide open, she knew David left that night with a different purpose.

"He lied!" She screamed till her voice went hoarse. She yelled and yelled. None of the kids stepped up to comfort her. None of them dared touch her. She was inconsolable. Nonetheless, they hunted him down, flashlights all over the place. She refused to believe what had happened. She needed to see proof. She hunted like a bloodhound, tearing down the infected who came their way. They strayed too far from camp. Soon, they were everywhere. There were too much of them and Gwen was overwhelmed. Was it another horde? Neil had to pull her back before she walked right into death's hands. As they ran back, she realized they followed. They kept running but something drew her attention away. The cloth on the ground. She grabbed it with shaky hands as he realized it was David's parka. She amputated the incoming girl who reached her arms out to her without a glance and ran as angry tears rolled down her face.

She held it to her chest with one hand as she sliced with her machete on the other. Once they reached camp, she froze. They were there too. They had to get out. Gwen urged the kids to follow as she untied the boat from the dock. She dumped David's parka inside and turned to gather the rest of the group. Space Kid tripped as one of the corpses descended on him, mouth watering with drool, hands bloodied and green from decay. Before Gwen could leap, Max had intervened. He pushed Space Kid out of the way and sliced with his dagger. He managed to swipe at the monster's face, but the hands caught him by the hoodie.

"Max, no!" Gwen was too late when she got there. The corpse managed to take a chunk out of Max's hand. Gwen brought the machete down with vigor. Max too was gone, but he turned to Space Kid and... smiled.

"Idiot, watch out next time. I won't be there to save your ass anymore." Gwen couldn't endure any more losses. She gave Max a quick death and hauled the others to the boat. Everyone was crying, wailing, and Gwen refused to break at a dangerous time. She cut them loose and rowed and rowed till her arms ached with exhaustion. She watched as the sea of corpses stayed behind, arms outstretched as if they could still catch her. Thankfully, she didn't see David's face anywhere, or else she would've broken down entirely. There were only three of them left.

Neil. Space Kid. And her.