Flashback in Italics

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Khushi was assembling her things to get going for the day when she was stopped in her path by the man whose presence she had grown to loathe with every inch of her existence.

"Wait, can we talk? Please?" he demanded, knowing that she would not have the conversation back at home at any cost so it was better to confront in the closed chambers of his office.

"There's nothing left to talk, Sir. If you don't mind, can I go?" she retorted, rolling her eyes at him as her lips were set in a thin line.

"For God's sake, I know that I have wronged you, Khushi. It is not going to change anyways, irrespective of what we do now, but we can surely change our future if we sit down and talk. Maybe you'll be able to cope with the past better, maybe you will get some amount of normalcy back in your life," he said, stopping her physically by holding her by her shoulders as he looked down straight into her hazel eyes which used to mirror her pristine soul once in the past but were just blackholes in the present.

"You are doing this just to coax me into revealing the name of orphanage, Mr. Raizada. There's no need to sugarcoat, at least to the one who was known the worst side of you. And sorry, I am not going to reveal it anytime soon," she countered, trying to push him away when he held her wrists in a vice-like grip.

"Don't you remember, it's just about you now?"

"Please! Why can't this be about you for once? Not about your father and my duty like in the past or about our daughter and my wishes till now? From now, why can't it be about you?"

"Maybe because I have forgotten how it feels. Maybe because after all this time, it no longer bothers me," she muttered, staring into the distant space as a melancholic strain wrecked her voice.

"Then allow me to show you how it feels, once again. Trust me, allow it to bother this one time and you will not regret it," he vowed, a part of him wallowing in turmoil as she appeared every bit broken in that moment as she was truly, instead of shoving the facade of nonchalance in his face.

"You wish!"

"You wish!" derided Khushi, condescension etching itself onto her features as she tried to keep her emotions at bay. Despite her charade, only she was aware of the toll which that conversation had taken upon her. It had managed to penetrate through the various boundaries around her heart and ignite a spark of undulant hope in her heart - an emotion which she had begun to despise.

She began to walk away from him as her outburst had managed to distract Arnav enough to loosen his grip on her wrists. The last night, after hearing that her mother had no chance of living her life, had hit her harder than she had thought, although she had known it since long that her mother's chances were brim. Her insolent heart could not help but seek companionship from anyone, just to have someone by her side, as the memories of the past five years of solitude haunted her as the nightmares regarding her future. The undulant spark of hope took over the reins of her soul in that vulnerable moment and made her wonder if he would stop her, by something, by anything.

And he did.

"It was my first big mission. Like everyone whose over-enthusiasm got into his head, I wanted to make it work by hook or crook. Everything was going according to the plan but I had to end up getting attracted to you. Your adoration used to remove every hint of stress in my mind and it was like an addiction. That night, I wish I had some control and some clarity. That night I realized that adrenaline rush could just tide you over, either out or right into the worst moments. I was scared for my life that night and nothing else seemed to matter. Ironic for a police officer, I know, but five years back I was not idealistic by any parameter. I should have come back, to apologize, to correct my errors but we had no tabs about you. You were literally off the radar and I was irresponsible enough to not vest more time and energy into it. I am sorry, I really am," he pleaded, hanging his head in humiliation, realizing how wrong he was sounding, even to himself.

Back then, he was just choosing the easier route than the right route and the tougher route. He had, of course, known that the mission would not have a happy ending for anyone but he was not aware that it would snatch every bit of peace from his mind.

"We were ousted from our community after what happened that night. The head said that they could not risk the lives of others by having us there. It was only when I was in the hospital for my delivery, I had pregnancy induced hypertension so was scheduled for Caesarean, that I met a police constable who informed me that I could fetch a job as a compensation from the police and I joined the forces, initially at the research desk," she replied, her tone as still as the death itself as she whispered in a painfully low voice.

Guilt only twisted the dagger deeper into his soul at the new revelation. She had undergone so many sufferings because he was not strong enough to choose the right way but alas, even trading his soul would not be able to turn back the time.

"I am sorry, Khushi. I really am," he said, stepping towards her.

"It really doesn't change anything, you know. It won't bring back my father from dead, can't make my mother any better, would not be able to teach me to smile again," she mocked, her mirthless ghost of a smile wrecking havoc on Arnav's senses.

"Khushi, please.."

"But I have learnt one thing. If you have to choose between the easier path and the right path, you choose the right path, no matter how tough it is. Call your doctor and tell him that I am ready to euthanize my mother."

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