I check the mailbox, and my heart skips a beat. I see familiar writing on a light blue envelope.

Opening the door, I yell.

"Mommy, I am home," but there is just silence. I walk into the kitchen, and I can smell my mom's perfume, so she must have just left.

I look on the counter, and there is a note that she and my Dad are over my godparents playing cards, meaning they'll be out all night.

In my bedroom, I throw my bag and coat on the ground and get in bed. Not sure what I'll read if I open the letter.

I can hear Mehki's voice.

January 19, 1992

Love,

I got your letter, thank you. I am good. My unit is gonna be busy for the next few months, so I will be out of communication for a while.

I want to apologize again for what happened in the hotel. I tripped out. I forgot where I was and just wanted to keep you safe.

It may be too much to ask but keep wearing the ring I gave to you. I don't want you to forget me.

I love you, know that, believe that, trust that. Take care of yourself. Live your life, have fun, and like I said, don't wait for me. If we are meant to be together again, we will be.

Forever Loving you,

Ki.

I fold the letter back and put it on my nightstand. I am not sure how I feel.

I have always considered myself to be a smart girl. You don't have to tell me something twice.

With that in mind, I get up from my bed and start taking down the pictures of Mehki and me. I remove all the stuffed animals he had sent to me, his military t-shirt he gave me when we first met, I touch the necklace with the ring on it that he gave to me at Christmas, and I take it off.

I take all of the things he gave me and put them in a plastic garbage bag, go out into the hallway, pull the ladder down that leads to the attic, and slowly make my way up the ladder with the bag in my hand.

Once I get to the top of the ladder, I throw the bag to the other end of the attic, climb down, and put the ladder back in place.

After a few deep breaths, I go back to my room. I don't feel anything, but I am starting to get mad.

Mad for waiting for six months for someone who can just decide to walk away from me so easily.

Mad for believing that all the heart-to-heart letters really made the both of us fall in love.

Mad for believing in love.

Mad because at 19, I now have participated in three unsuccessful relationships.

I start to think the one thing the relationships have in common is ME. Something has to change. I have to change. My mind is all over the place as I start getting ready to go out with Camila.

I am not sure what I'm wearing tonight, but I know I want to look better than I feel.

Stepping out of the shower, I hear my phone ringing. I am sure it's Mila.

"Hello"

I hear Mila screaming over her loud blow dryer

"Lovey, the countdown has begun. I will be there in 60 minutes. Bye!"

Well, time for me to get busy creating my look for the night.

Fuck these dudes and fuck love, too; life must go on.

❤ Love Quotes..

"Believe a dude the first time he tells you he is done. Real G's don't need explanations."