Derek watched closely as they loaded Kate into the back of one of the many ambulances that had shown up, wincing as she winced when the legs of the gurney folded down, her hand slipping out of his grasp for the briefest of moments before he clambered inside too. The harsh white lights felt like they were burning his corneas compared to the blackness that had enveloped him inside the darkened hallways he had investigated moments earlier, and he wrestled with the urge to growl at them.

As if any of this was their fault.

Of course, right now he was looking for anyone or anything to blame. And he hated coming up empty. He wanted somewhere to direct his rage and frustration. Rage and frustration that would turn into hostility and bitterness if he wasn't careful.

"Derek, I'm fine," Kate offered.

Stiles had said that exact same fucking thing when he'd been looking him over. But unlike before, it wasn't true now. Stiles was fine. Kate, on the other hand, was laying there with a rather large gash across her stomach. One that now rested atop the scar he had given her.

Fine was the furthest thing from the truth. And they were at risk of doing much more harm to both their psyches by reliving that terrible moment. The one moment where he had lost control and hurt someone he loved. Someone he knew he couldn't live without. And someone with whom he had learned to do just that.

Someone he would have to let go.

"Katie, I..."

Derek ducked his head. He had no idea how to say what he needed to say next. He had no idea if he could make the words leave his mouth, no matter how badly they needed to for her safety. Because Derek Hale could be a selfish fucking prick when he wanted something badly enough.

And he wanted his Katie.

"I know, Derek."

His head shot back up and he searched her eyes, wondering if she could possibly understand the agony he was putting himself through. But when he noticed a well of tears were brimming there, he knew she got it. They couldn't be together. He hated that she was able to discern the meaning of his unfinished sentence so easily. And he really hated how effortless it was for both of them to accept that this wasn't going to work.

Again.

Granted, this time no one would be sent away against their will or have their death faked. But it still fucking hurt.

A single tear trickled down as Kate reached out and cupped his cheek, wiping it away before it could fall at his feet.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"That you got hurt."

She gave him a wry smile. "You didn't do this."

"But I did," he contradicted. "You wouldn't have either of those scars if you hadn't been around me."

"Maybe," she admitted with a deep sigh. "But I also wouldn't have fallen in love. And I wouldn't have found my real family."

He nodded, raking in a shaky breath, remembering how inseparable she had been with his sisters when they were alive. "I think the worst part of this is that your dad was right."

She giggled and then hissed. "Yeah, that really fucking sucks. He's such an asshole."

"Totally," he agreed. "Biggest ever."

"His execution was shit, but..."

"Yeah," he responded wistfully.

Out of the two of them, Gerard had been the one to keep her safe all these years. And God, Derek detested him for it. Admired him too. The dichotomy made him nauseous, if he was being honest, but it didn't make any of it less true. He both loathed and respected him. Eh, envied might be a better word. Because he could be around Kate without any issues.

Once upon a time, they may have fought harder than this for each other. For their relationship. But not now. Not tonight. They were both older. Grown. They were mature enough to admit being miserable apart was always better than one or both of them ending up dead.

And they didn't know what the future held. Hell, Derek never could've imagined the turn of events that would have led her back to him even now. Weirder things had happened for sure. Tomorrow was another day, which meant more chances.

But at the moment, the toxicity of their closeness had put others in the crosshairs. And Derek Hale would not allow an innocent person to get hurt so he could be with anyone. Even Kate. He would always love her, and he prayed she knew that, but it wasn't enough. And they both would have to learn to be okay with that.

He leaned over the gurney, mindful of her injury, as he kissed her forehead before stumbling back out of the ambulance. Then the paramedics shut the door and he held up a hand in a sort of lazy wave as they drove off with her.

He ducked his head again, turning around, not strong enough to watch her leave as he sucked in another trembling breath.

He caught sight of Stiles' dad affectionately railing into him about being in yet another dangerous situation before pulling him in for a tight hug. And then Stiles was gone too, Scott in the front seat and Isaac dozing off in the back. They didn't notice him standing there, which was probably for the better. Because it was hard enough to let them go without them recognizing the war that was waging within him. Even the slightest interrogation would cause him to crumble.

He was moments from breaking down and demanding the pack sleep at his house for the foreseeable future, Stiles included. But he didn't actually have that kind of power. He was the Beta. Not the Alpha. And he sure as shit didn't want it now. It was obvious he would abuse it given the slightest provocation.

The sound of Peter's car interrupted his disjointed, unsettled thoughts as he turned around to greet his uncle.

Well, greet wasn't right. He was about to unload on him. He could feel it. And he was just as helpless to stop this as he had been earlier when they were all trapped inside the school.

"Where the fuck have you been?" Derek seethed as soon as Peter stepped out.

"What happened?"

"Answer me," Derek returned through gritted teeth. "You are never where we need you lately."

"I didn't..."

"I'm so damn tired, Peter," he lamented. "I'm exhausted. I'm not the goddamn Alpha. You are and you don't answer your phone."

"You didn't call me," Peter insisted. "No one called. And I sure as shit wasn't coming back to the house to risk seeing you and Kate all... you know. How exactly was I supposed to know?"

"Why would Scott call me and not you? Why would I be the first person he thought of, Peter?"

"I don't know."

Derek scoffed. "Of course not. You don't get it."

"There are a million reasons he thought to call you first."

"And I'm guessing none of those are because you're being a bad Alpha lately, hmm?"

"I..."

"Save it. I don't want to hear it." Derek shot him a look before continuing, spewing everything at him with as little emotion as possible. "Mr. Harris is dead. One of our teachers is dead. They were all stuck in that school with some... thing. Uh, Lydia, Jackson, and Allison all know about Scott and Isaac. And there is some weird fucking ghost shit going on in there that I can't explain."

Peter opened and shut his mouth a few times as Derek stood there with his arms folded across his chest, wordlessly begging his uncle to have any sort of helpful response for the bullshit that had been happening to them over the last couple of weeks. Fuck, he'd go for intelligible at this point. But Peter offered nothing. Only more silence.

"Where were you?"

"Where is Kate?" Peter countered.

"She's at the hospital." He swallowed hard before pivoting back to the issue at hand, not allowing Peter to ask more questions about her. "What was so important that you were ignoring your entire pack?"

"I wasn't ignoring anyone," Peter argued. "I'm the Alpha. I'm not fucking telepathic, Derek."

"You couldn't feel them? You couldn't tell something was wrong?"

"I can only tell when something is wrong with you. I've told you that before. You can only sense other pack members are in danger when you're related, either by blood or a marriage that combines packs. Oh, and I guess mates can sense it too. But that's it."

"That's not true," Derek contested. "I know when Stiles and Scott are in trouble."

Peter rolled his eyes, infuriating Derek further. "Scott and Stiles are always in fucking trouble, Derek. I don't think that's you sensing anything. I think that's just odds working in your favor."

"I'm done, Peter," Derek issued, turning on his heel and starting toward his car. But he stopped, throwing one more comment over his shoulder. "I'm done being the stand-in Alpha for you. Figure out what's going on in this goddamn town by yourself."