I was in heaven.

The hotel room I'd been placed in was the most comfortable place I'd ever been in. The RUA had really spared no expense in putting us in a nice place. I felt kind of bad about it but then reminded myself that after everything I'd been through the past few days, it was pretty well deserved. 

After the meeting, we'd been taken to the hotel and put in separate rooms. The RUA had issued me back my phone, which I'd left with them before leaving on the mission. There were about 23 missed calls from Debby and 34 text messages.

I'd immediately called up her up and was thankful to hear she had still been going along with the camping lie for my mother. She sounded completely relieved to hear my voice and had been terrified that something bad had happened to me due to the lack of communication. I told her that nothing bad happened and I'd just been not allowed to keep in contact. The white lie sounded a lot better than worrying her with the truth.

Straight after I'd check in with her, I'd rang up my mother. I apologized for not checking in with her earlier and giving her more notice about the 'camping trip'. She'd been annoyed at me for it, but nevertheless seemed happy to finally be hearing from me. The conversation had remained casual as she'd asked me questions about Debby and what we'd been up to and I dodged them as much as I could. She didn't suspect a thing and had no idea what I'd gone through during my entire absence. Hearing about how she'd been doing made me feel a lot better. She told me stories about funny things Micheal had said to her and about how he'd taught her how to make a killer pasta dish she wanted me to try. I'd gotten slightly emotional during the call just hearing her speak but refrained from letting her hear it in my own voice. I was just so thankful that I was speaking to her again. I was so thankful. 

Coming back to find out that things had been going normally had been a huge comfort. Nothing had felt more relieving than those two phone calls I'd made. I'd decided that I would eventually have to tell my mother about working for the RUA again. I knew Debby had told me not to, but the lying didn't feel right.

I'd likely downplay the seriousness of my work, but I at least couldn't keep up the thing about art classes and camping trips. Those were two things I was definitely not interested in and didn't have enough information on to create extravagant lies. Plus, she deserved to know the truth. If something happened to me in the future due to this line of work and she had to hear about me rejoining from someone else... well that wouldn't be ideal. 

After the phone calls, I'd gone for the longest shower of my life. I'd never been so grateful to be finally clean and to watch that muddy water go down the drain had been the most satisfying thing ever. I was just glad my period hadn't happened while I was out there. Now that could have been disastrous. 

The rest of the night had been just me on the hotel bed watching the television. I'd gotten room service and enjoyed every bite. Considering all I'd eaten for the past week had been something dried from a packet, I was pretty sure I was never going to complain about my Mom's cooking again. 

I'd fallen asleep late that night. While I'd been tired, the memories from the day had been enough to keep me up a few extra hours. I'd been right about this when I'd talked to Eric. It was going to take me a while to come to terms with what I'd done. 

Memories kept flashing through my head and the guilt in my stomach didn't feel like it was going to be disappearing anytime soon. But once I'd finally drifted off to sleep, things had been much more peaceful.

I woke the next morning to light peeking through my curtains. My head was pounding slightly and my limbs still ached. But I was feeling a ton better. The sleep had done me well and for the first time in a while, I was feeling relaxed. 

We were still going to be stuck in Washington for a few days while the entire case went under severe investigation but luckily, we'd been given the day to rest. 

I'd spent a good twenty minutes just lying in that bed, thinking. I hoped I could check up on Mackenzie to see how she was doing. Cassie had sent me a message to let me know she would probably be discharged from the hospital in two days time. 

The news had been great to hear and I was so thankful she was going to be okay. With everything finally looking up, I tried to look ahead at the future.

I was already working on how I was going to tell my mother about rejoining the RUA and wondering what training was going to be like when I got back there. How long was it going to be until I was assigned my next case? And was it going to be anywhere near as dangerous as what this had been?

Likely, it wouldn't. I was assured that what happened to us out there was a complete disaster and unlike anything the RUA had ever seen before. Our plane being hijacked and being stuck on an isolated island for days hadn't even been considered a possibility. But again, I was just thankful we didn't die.

A vibrating noise caught my attention and I rolled over to the bedside table closest to me. My phone had just received a text and was lit up. 

I rubbed at my eyes before looking down at the screen. I had a text from Eric.

Are you awake yet? I need to talk to you.

I blinked a few times before re-reading the message. I wondered what was so urgent that he couldn't wait till later on. It was still pretty early in the morning and we had the whole day to catch up if we needed to. 

I quickly typed up a reply and sent it back to him. 

Yes, I'm up. What's going on?

His response was quicker than I'd anticipated and by the time I'd put my phone back down, I heard it go off again. I grabbed it promptly, eager to read his response. 

Can you meet me at my hotel room? Need to speak to you in private.

My eyebrows furrowed in bemusement. I was puzzled by how cryptic he was acting. Whatever was going on had me curious and slightly concerned. 

I got up quickly after typing back a reply. I was rushed to get ready as the anticipation and avidness to want to know what he wanted to talk about was starting to get to me. If he wanted to speak in private, it had to be something serious.

I got dressed in the clothes that had been given to me by the agency. Most of it was plain and definitely not the kind of wardrobe I would have picked for myself, but I made do as I got dressed in the bathroom. 

I was annoyed at the fact that I had zero makeup to put on but reminded myself that at least I was clean. The image of me covered in dirt after living a week survivor style was not something I wanted to ever see again. 

When I finally left my hotel room, I noticed how empty the place seemed. The hallways were empty and the elevator was thankfully free. It wasn't too early but most of the guests that were staying here were probably on business trips and probably left and arrived at weird times due to flights. 

Eric was only staying one floor above me so the elevator ride had only given me a few seconds to calm my nerves. I always got this way when I knew I was going to see him. And the mysteriousness of this all wasn't helping. I just hoped whatever this was about had nothing to do with Hampter Island. The next few days were going to be grueling enough being constantly asked about our time there.

I flattened out the skirt I was wearing as I made my way out of the elevator and into the hallway. It was quiet, just like the one on my floor had been. I didn't know where Cassie or Turner were staying but I assumed that one of them would have snuck into the other's hotel room last night so they were probably together. 

I knocked on Eric's door, stepping away from it anxiously.  My fingers were knotted together and I was feeling pretty reckless. When he answered the door, I stopped moving altogether. 

"Hey," he greeted softly.

My pulse was racing as I looked him in the eyes. "Hey," I said back. I wasn't sure what else to say.

He stepped back, leaving the door ajar. I cautiously walked in, closing it behind me. His hotel room looked identical to mine, aside from the fact his curtains were more drawn, making the room darker.  

"What's up? I finally asked, trying to come off as casual as I could. We were 

"I need to tell you something," he began carefully. 

The briefness of his response was not helping. 

"Well, you got me here." I pointed out, sitting on the edge of his bed. It was a pretty out of character move for me, but I didn't plan on just standing there. This was already awkward enough.

"You're very observant," he muttered in response. 

I laughed a little, rolling my eyes. The humor was helping me feel more relaxed. 

"I'm sorry," I apologized. "I'm just feeling a little...tense after everything we went through yesterday."

He nodded in understanding. "That meeting was a lot to take in. But like I said, the worst is over now. Everything from this point on is just filing and follow-up questions."

That still wasn't very assuring. More than anything, I just wanted to go home. Just thinking about the days ahead was making me weary.  

"So," I began eyeing his room. "What's with all this? What do you need to talk about so urgently?" 

He didn't respond for a second, only making me more worried. 

"The files on the Esten State report you filled out. Did you ever manage to locate that missing interview transcript?" 

I frowned. This is what he'd dragged me up here for? A case I'd filed reports on over a month ago?

"Uh, I thought back, trying to remember. "I think Jerry found it later on," I told him, thinking back to the agent that had been working that mission. "It was just put with the wrong case. He was also working on the Tenstaky case at the same time and things just got jumbled u-"

"I love you too," he spoke suddenly.

I stopped in my tracks.

"What?"

"I don't care about interview transcripts. I just chickened out for a second," he admitted. "That's why I really wanted you here. I had to tell you." 

I stayed silent, still trying to take his words in. 

He scratched behind his neck. "Sorry, that was kind of abrupt."

I blinked, feeling completely taken back. My eyes were widened and my mouth was still open in complete surprise. After another second I pulled myself together.

"It's not like I did it any smoother," I reminded him. 

He let out a nervous laugh.

My head was clouded with thoughts and my stomach had done a complete flip. His words had made me forget how to breathe as I'd been overwhelmed with emotion. But I reminded myself that we still had another issue at hand. 

"Where does that leave us?" 

Admitting we were both in love was one thing, but actually being a couple was a complete other. There was still one thing standing in front of us like there had been this entire time: our jobs. And as much as I wanted to bounce off the walls in celebration, that was still in the way. 

Eric inhaled and slowly sighed. "I'm not entirely sure. But I know that denying and trying to prevent this from happening isn't going to work." he paused for a moment. "I'm willing to go public on this." 

I looked at him, stunned. "You're what?" 

He looked down, biting his lip in thought. "Becca I know what I've said in the past. The whole thing about working for the RUA and it coming first...but it doesn't feel that way anymore." 

"Why the sudden change?" I asked, still not understanding. 

He moved towards me until he was standing right in front of me. He lowered himself until he was more at my level.

"Seeing that gun being held up to you..." He trailed off. "I don't want anything like that to ever happen to you again. But it made me realize something. I can't fight this anymore. It's not worth it. When you told me you love me, I wanted to say it back more than anything."

"I understood you weren't ready," I stepped in. "It would have been a lot for me to ask you to say it back considering how close you are to this job." 

He shook his head. "I should have said it back." I heard his voice soften. "What if something bad had happened to you back there and I'd never gotten the chance to say it?"

My eyes met the carpeted floor. I didn't want to think like that. 

"It's fine," I reassured. "That's all over now."

"I know," he mumbled. His eyes met mine again. "But I never want to feel that way again. You mean too much to me. I'm done pretending you don't. I know I'm not the best at..."

"Human interaction?" I joked. 

He laughed. "I know I can be pretty isolating. But after everything that happened with, you know, my family,"

I tensed.

"It's been hard to let people back in," he continued. "I think more than anything I've just been scared. When the ones you love get taken away from you, it's the worst fucking pain you could ever imagine." 

I watched his eyes get teary and my heart broke for him. Never in all my time knowing him had he ever opened up like this. I was clinging on to every word he said. 

I stood up, moving towards him, tightly hug him. When I felt his embrace, the same safe feeling I'd felt the last time we hugged outside Kennedy High returned to me except this time, the feeling was much stronger. He gripped onto me firmly and I rested my hands on his back. 

Everything around me was shut out for a moment. None of it mattered. All that mattered to me was him. 

"I love you more than anything," I told him with my face buried in his chest. "I could never even begin to imagine what you went through. But you can't let it make you shut people out."

He bowed down his head, nestling it into my hair. "I won't," he mumbled near my ear. "Not anymore." 

My eyes were closed tightly as I held onto him. We were both alive. That was all that mattered. After everything we'd been through, we were both going to be okay. Better than okay. I would make sure of it. 

When I slowly pulled away from him, he was still gripping my waist so I hooked my arms around his neck.

"Wait," I realized. "What is Captain going to think of this? Remember the rule?"

Even if Eric was willing for us to be in an actual relationship, that didn't mean our boss would be. 

Eric took a deep breath. "I've been thinking about that and how he might react to it and I've come to a conclusion with my thoughts. "

I raised my eyebrows, waiting for him to continue. "What?" 

He smiled leaning in closer towards me. "I don't care." 

His lips were on mine before I knew it and he'd pulled me right up against him. I fell into him, growing weak in the legs from his kiss. 

I had missed this. 

But this kiss was more intense than anything we'd ever done before. His mouth was warm against mine and I felt his tongue enter slowly. I pressed myself firmly against him as a small moan escaped me. 

When he pulled his mouth away from mine, I couldn't help but whimper at the loss of contact. But it quickly returned to my neck as I felt his teeth graze across it. My head tilted back automatically in response and my fingers found their way into his hair, tangled in the locks of his hair.  

As he moved forward, I stumbled back and he guided me towards the bed. When my leg hit the back of it, he gently lowered me down. My back was pressed against the mattress and I took the moment to try and steady my breathing as he climbed on top of me. 

His lips met mine again and I melted in an instant. I was certain this was the best feeling in the entire world. There wasn't anything that could have been better than being with him in that moment. 

Every part of me felt weak and I was grateful to have the bed to lie on, otherwise I probably would have fainted from the dizziness. His arms trailed down each side of me, making me shiver as one of my hands pressed against his hard stomach. It recoiled at the touch but I heard him groan as he breathed against my skin and the blissful feeling traveled all the way through me.

Things were getting heated and my mind was in such a blur. I didn't know how far this was going to go. But in that moment, I was in a total trance. It was like I would have done anything. I was completely enraptured. 

He pulled away after a moment, almost making me whimper again. It was torturous to have that feeling leave me again. But at the same time, I couldn't have felt happier. 

His dark brown eyes met mine as he looked at me longingly . 

"Nissen," he breathed out.

I stared up at him in confusion. "Huh?" 

"My last name," he elaborated. "Eric Nissen." 

I stared up at him feeling the small smile creep onto my face. "Well Eric Nissen," I began, causing him to laugh. "It's nice to finally meet you." 

He removed himself from on top of me, lying next to me on the bed. For a moment, we both just stared up at the ceiling. Content, at peace, and completely in love. 

After a moment, I turned over to him and raised an eyebrow. "I really hope that wasn't just another anagram." 

He laughed again, a beautiful sound that filled the room. "It's not, I promise." 

I moved towards him, resting my head on his chest as I laughed too. 

-------

A/N: GUESS WHAT FUCKING SONG CAME ON WHILE I WAS WRITING THAT MAKE OUT SCENE??? THE FUCKING STRIPPER SONG FROM MAGIC MIKE LMAO I DIED LAUGHING 

https://youtu.be/68IFfpJNLUs

I KEPT SQUEALING AND LAUGHING DURING THIS CHAPTER BC I AM SO FUCKING AWKWARD AND HATE MYSELF OMG THEY DIDNT EVEN HAVE SEX OR ANYTHING BUT I WAS FREAKING OUT BC ITS JUST SO WEIRD!! LIKE ITS SO AWKWARD HONESTLY LIKE I CAN'T BELIEVE Y'ALL JUST READ THAT AAAAAA GET THE FUCKING HOLY WATER WE'RE ALL GONNA GEO THELL