I've been staring at the same line in my textbook for the last half an hour. My eyes burn. I rub them and pad to the bedroom.

The door is open, and the dim hallway light is enough to see Kitten in bed. She's sleeping, snoring lightly with her hands tucked under her cheek. 

A half-eaten carrot lies on the comforter by her side, and I chuckle despite myself. The clot started to get smaller, and Leah's nausea got better thanks to the vitamins Harper made her take. What we didn't expect was Leah's weird-ass craving.

Kitten started to love carrots. I woke up alone one night and jumped out of bed, scared, only to find her in front of the fridge, chewing. We're running out of the orange fuckers faster than I'd thought possible. I make sure to leave enough for her to last until I get home from my lectures. If they make her happy—

A thought pierces through my exhausted brain. I rush to the kitchen and groan at the sight of an empty bag.

It's one a.m. Where the fuck can you buy carrots at this hour? I rake my fingers through my hair and return to the desk. 

A quick internet search tells me I'm an idiot. Condoms, booze, and cigarettes might be what guys buy at night. Drugs, too. Carrots, on the other hand…

I chew on my bottom lip and send a text.

Me: Yo, Jim. Have you got carrots?

Jim: Of all the weird shit someone texted me at night...this takes the cake.

Me: They're for my girl.

Jim: Come over and wait for me in the elevator.

I write a note to Kitten, put on my jacket, and leave the apartment.

The ride is short. I comply with Jim's strange request and wait for him in the elevator on his floor, keeping the door open.

He exits his condo as soon as I text him and grins, strutting toward me with a bag of carrots under his arm.

"How's your girl?" he asks.

I take the vegetables. "Better. Thanks, man. I owe you one."

Jim smirks and presses the button to the top floor. The ascent is silent, and when the machine stops and the heavy door slides open, I follow my brother to the roof.

My eyes take in the impressive night city skyline. 

"Wow," I say. "That's one hell of a view."

Jim chuckles. "I know. I love this place. Ava and I—"

"If you say the two of you come here to fuck, I'm out."

Jim plops down on a bench facing the city and winks. "I don't kiss and tell. Or fuck and tell. But we were busy when you texted. Lucky for you, I love you."

"I'm sorry." I groan, sitting next to him. "Leah loves carrots. She can't buy them, and I'll be busy till the evening tomorrow."

"It's okay, little fucker. Busy with what? Classes?"

I shift on the bench. "And work."

There's no easy way to say shit. I haven't been sleeping well, and the reason isn't only my girl's health but also our future. I've never hated being good at Math as much as I do now. The truth is, I'm fucked. What I make with D will be enough to pay for school, but not for what our baby will need. I spent hours trying to come up with ways to make my savings last. I thought about helping Dad each weekend and even considered tutoring students. But then Leah would be alone. If she needed something, I wouldn't be near. 

"Brian."

My eyes snap up to Jim's. "Yeah?"

He sighs. "You zoned out."

"Sorry."

"I wanted to talk to you," Jim says. "Tomorrow, but since you're here now, I'd rather not put it off. Can you be honest with me?"

"About?"

Jim rolls his eyes. "About whose dick is bigger."

I laugh, rubbing my face. "Mine is pierced. You lose."

"I'm not a sore loser." Jim winks at me. "I want your honesty. Do you need money, Brian?"

I study my hands. Maybe I shouldn't feel so shitty, but I do. I've provided for myself since I was sixteen. Having my money to spend means freedom. It's also a tiny reminder that I'm good at something. Good for something. Accepting my brother's help feels like a giant step back. 

"I'm not an idiot," he goes on. "I know how much you spent on the apartment. You work a lot on top of your classes and volunteering. When your baby is born, you'll need to be there for them, and you'll need to help your girl."

My brother is right, but admitting that is akin to admitting defeat. 

"I don't feel comfortable accepting your help, Jim," I say. "I wanted to have it all figured out, but—"

"Things happen, little fucker. Think about your baby and push your stubbornness aside for now."

I swallow. "Okay."

"I'm gonna pay for your studies next school year. And give you what you need apart from that," Jim says. "I don't want to hear objections. Just accept it."

"Thank you. I honestly hoped it wouldn't come to this."

Jim glances at me and focuses his gaze on something in the distance. "That's what family is for. You'd do the same for me."

"Of course. I just—"

"Brian." Jim smiles. "It's settled. Send me the details of how much a year of your degree costs, 'kay?"

"Yeah. Sure."

"And before you take the carrots to your girl," my brother pauses and glues his green eyes to my face, "there's something else."

"What else?"

Jim rises to his feet and puts a hand on my shoulder. "Talk to Dad."

***

I slept well for the first time in weeks, despite worrying about the convo Dad and I would have. 

As I get Kitten's breakfast ready, I text him, asking when we could talk. He answers that he needs to buy a couple of things in the city, and he'll see me after my lectures.

The hours pass fast. When my last class finishes, I ride to the coffee shop where Pops and I are meeting.

He's already there, at a table by the window.

"Hey," I say, lowering myself into a chair across from him.

Dad smiles. "How's it going?"

"Better. The clot's getting smaller. Leah has to be on bed rest until it goes away, but at least there's progress. Want another one?" I nod to Dad's empty mug. 

"Yeah, but let's take a walk."

I get our coffees and hand him a cup. We leave the cafe and stroll along the promenade. A warm breeze caresses my face, and I think about Kitten. She loves spring. I hope she can go out soon because fresh air will be good for her and our baby.

"How are you?" Dad asks.

We stop walking and face the water. A glance at Dad's face tells me his question has a lot to do with what I blurted out when we were at Jim's.

"Dad, I…" I take a deep breath. "I'm sorry. You were never meant to find out. Jim knew cause he overheard me talking to my girl. I don't want you to worry cause I'm okay now; I've been okay for a while. My girl and my studies helped me a lot."

"I was mad," Dad says. "Mad because we've always been close, and I thought you trusted me enough to ask for help."

"It's not about trust. I didn't want you to feel bad. I was an immature fucker who needed to figure his shit out. I wish I could change the past, but the only thing I can do is promise you it won't happen again. I have people who love me, and I'm gonna be a dad. My baby will need me."

Dad smiles slightly and drapes an arm across my shoulders. "You grew up. I'm proud of you. But no matter how old you are, you're my son, and worrying about you is my job. Leaning on your family is never a sign of weakness, Brian. Nobody has to go through shit alone."

"I know. I know it now, anyway. Did you tell Mom about my anxiety and what I said?"

Pops shakes his head. "That's something you have to do if you want. She's always worried about you and your future. That's why she wanted you to study. She was afraid you wouldn't be happy if you couldn't put your gift to use."

"I listened, just later."

"You did; that's what matters. I'm not mad anymore, Son. We're just concerned about your girl now. Eric is, too, by the way. He came to see me yesterday."

"He did?"

We resume the walk. Dad sighs and swipes his gaze across the marina. "Yeah. He loves Leah and wants to be in her life. I feel sorry for him, and the time he lost."

"Grace upset her. I told her she wouldn't be welcome in our house unless she changed and gave my girl the support she needs. Leah doesn't deserve her judgment."

"You have to defend your woman, and you did. That's what real men do. Eric said Grace regretted her words."

"I'll believe it when she changes her attitude," I say. "But I also want to talk to Eric. If he wants to be there for his daughter, I won't object."

"Call him," Dad says. "He'll be happy."

"I will. And thanks for everything, Dad."

Dad hugs me, squeezing me tightly enough to make it hard for me to breathe. We spend another hour together. After working at Dakota's, I ride home to my girl.

When I let myself into our place, Kitten is sitting on the windowsill in a T-shirt and panties, eating a carrot and reading one of the novels Ava gave her. 

I put a hand on her belly and kiss her lips.

"Hey," she says, beaming.

"Shouldn't you be in bed?"

"I'm comfy. Look at all the pillows. I'm half-lying here."

I wrap my arms around Leah and press another kiss to her hair. Calm fills me as I hold her for a long while, allowing myself to be hopeful.