"I can't believe he did it," Tara huffs and closes her notebook, looking at me.

"Who is he, and what did he do?" I ask, desperate to distract myself with some drama that isn't mine. I need the distraction. I've spent enough hours lost in my thoughts, unable to decide what to do and how to talk to Nash.

Tara's inquisitive blue eyes drape over me, taking in my miserable state and the dark circles under my eyes I've been unable to get rid of since I came home from the hospital a week ago. "Are you sure you want to hear it? I know you've got a lot on your mind and a lot of stuff going on."

"Please," I beg. "I'd rather help you with your stuff than think about mine."

"Okay," Tara concedes. "Dr. Garcia paired me up with The Nerd."

My eyebrows bunch up. "The Nerd?"

"Don't you remember?" Tara asks me. "I told you at the party. He was at the frat house with that girl wearing too-big glasses."

I remember the handsome guy I'd seen and laugh at Tara. "The Nerd? Are you kidding me? He didn't look like a nerd to me."

"Looks can be deceiving," Tara says, rolling her eyes. "Believe me; he's a solid ten in the nerdy department. Anyway, that's not the problem. The problem is that he's a jerk. He had the nerve to approach the professor and tell him he needed another partner because I wasn't smart enough to do the project with His Majesty."

"He did not!" I gasp.

"He did. I'm so tired of his stupid assumptions. Pretty girls can also be smart. You don't have to be an ugly duckling to have a brain. Swans are also people, you know? Some of us skipped the acne and ruffled dull...feathers."

"Swans are also people," I repeat slowly. "I feel like we should print that quote out and frame it."

Tara chuckles and rests the notebook she was holding on the coffee table. "Well, I did one of the parts already to shut that prick's mouth. Tell me about you."

"Hi, my name is Leah, and I've got guy troubles." I take a small cushion and clutch it to my chest, sitting on the couch next to my roommate.

Tara turns to look at me and sighs. "What are you gonna do?"

"Wait until after my exams in a week and talk to him. He's super busy this week, and we weren't going to meet, anyway."

"And the...you know, pierced one?"

I grip the cushion tighter. "I can't. I'm not going to break up with Nash so that I can get back together with Brian. I think it will do me lots of good to be alone for a while. In all honesty, I should have done that instead of getting together with a good boy who deserves better and breaking his heart. Nash is a wonderful person, and if my heart had really been free, I would have fallen for him. I want someone to fall for him and make him happy."

Tara's sympathetic gaze lands on my face. "You're right. Guys are also people. Well, except for The Nerd. He surely is an alien. I feel sorry for Nash, but it's for the best. You need to give him a chance to be loved."

"I feel awful, Tara," I whisper. "And maybe the majority would run straight to the ex, but I can't. I know he's sorry, but it's been nine months. He disappeared, and now he expects me to forget it happened. I'm not going to tell Nash about him, either. If they know each other, I don't want them to have problems because of me."

"You've made the right decision," Tara says, giving me a reassuring smile. "I'm here for you if you need help."

"Thank you," I reply quietly.

My heart aches for both Brian and Nash. I want Nash to find a good girl, and I want Brian to make up with his best friend.

But for now, I shove everything but my studies to the back of my mind. I need to finish my first year with good grades.

***

A week later, my exams are over. I exit the library after my last shift this school year. The evening is warm, but they promised some rain later.

I am happy with my results and feel accomplished, but there's a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Tomorrow, I am going to talk to Nash and end our brief relationship. I swallow several times in a row to get rid of the bitter taste of the words I have yet to say.

"Leah."

My heart does a small jump in my chest at the sound of Brian's deep voice. I halt and see him standing to the side of the library building, wearing his signature leather jacket. He must have been waiting for me.

"Hey, Brian," I say, trying to infuse some confidence in my voice.

"Hey. How are you?"

"Good," I whisper. "My exams are over."

"You nailed it, am I right?"

I clutch the strap of my oversized purse and smile just barely. "Yeah. I studied a lot, so it wasn't that hard."

Brian nods. Then, he traps his bottom lip between his teeth and looks at the ground before his gaze travels up my body and rests on my face.

"I gave you space," he says. "I knew I would achieve nothing by pushing, but I can't do it anymore. I can't pretend I don't think about you."

"Brian, don't," I say meekly. I don't want to hear those words, not when I made the decision.

"That's the truth," Brian goes on, ignoring my weak protest. "I think about you all the time. I'm going crazy because I can't come up with the words that would make you forgive me. I feel like no matter what I say, it's not enough, and it... Damn, Leah, don't lie to yourself."

"Lie to myself? See, that's why I'm not running back to you. You think you can get away with anything. You think that you can hurt me and disappear, and I will forget it all the moment you're back just because we have a history together."

"I don't," Brian raises his voice. "That's a lie. I know I hurt you. I know I was wrong. But I also know that I'm not crazy. That kiss at the hospital? That's not how people kiss when they don't care about each other. And that is why you need to be honest and tell Nash the truth."

Brian's chest rises and falls fast. My breathing is ragged, too, and my hands are shaking.

A rain droplet lands on my face, and it's strangely fitting because all I want to do is cry.

"Tell him the truth so that you can hurt me again?" I ask.

Brian shakes his head. "Tell him the truth so that I can make it right without hurting another person who doesn't deserve it."

"You made the decision for me, Brian. You didn't care about my feelings. You can't take those months away. You can't make me forget how you left me and how much you hurt me."

The rain becomes heavier. It's dark, and the earlier warmth is gone. I shiver, hugging myself.

"You don't love him," Brian says. "You don't love him; I know you don't. You can lie, but I know that despite your hurt, you still care. And I'm not full of myself. I'm desperate because no matter what I say, I can't get to you. You listen, but you don't hear me."

My mouth opens and closes. I want to say something to make him believe I don't care anymore, but it's a lie. He's right, but it doesn't fix what he broke.

I muster the courage to speak, but before I do, Brian gets down on his knees in front of me.

"Forgive me," he chokes out. "Or at least say you will think about it."

"Brian, get up," I cry, breaking on the inside from Brian's wet cheeks and the vulnerability of the position he's in.

He shakes his head, stubborn as only he can be. "That's me begging. Please. Please, listen to me. Let me make it right. You're the only one I've loved. I-"

"I'm so fucking stupid."

Brian freezes, and so do I.

The words come from Nash, who's now standing under one of the streetlights with pain etched into his expression, taking in the sight of Brian on his knees in front of me.

"Fuck," Brian scrambles to his feet and takes a step toward Nash.

"Don't," Nash grits through his teeth. "Don't get closer if you don't want me to punch your fucking face."

He turns around and starts to walk away.

"Nash!" I yell.

"Don't," says Brian. "Let me do it. It's because of me."

"It is," I say, wiping the tears off my cheeks. "It's because of you, but you've already done enough."