As soon as I'm on the ground, Jim envelops me in a hug so tight the fucker might crush my bones.

"Welcome home," my brother says and takes a step back. As he gives me a once-over, his lips curl into a smirk. "You look different."

"Feel different, too," I reply then turn to Jim's girl. "Hey, Beautiful."

She blushes. I kiss her cheek and say, "I'm Brian."

A smack on the back of my head nearly makes me lose my balance. Jim must've been working out more than usual.

"I'm Ava," Jim's girl says. She smiles at me, but wraps her arms around Jim's waist and kisses his lips. "Behave, baby."

Baby?

I chuckle. Jim tries to smack me again, but I dodge it. He tightens his hold on Ava and looks down at her with such warmth I feel as if I were back in The Ring of Fire next to one of the volcanoes. I've never seen my brother this way, and although the possessive fucker hit me, I am happy for him.

"How was your flight?" Ava asks me. She's still in Jim's arms, and he hasn't let go of her for a second, holding her hand as we head for the terminal to pick up my luggage.

"Long, but it was okay. Thanks for picking me up."

"Not at all," Jim says, side-eyeing me.

"Stop sulking." I punch his bicep. "I wanted to give you a taste of your own medicine. Right, Beautiful?"

I wink at Ava, who giggles and leans into Jim. He kisses her on the lips once and glares at me. "I might send you back to Indonesia."

"No more." I raise my hands and laugh when he rolls his green eyes at me.

After collecting my suitcases, Jim loads them into the trunk of his car and starts the engine to drive to his place.

The cityscape behind the car's window feels foreign. I forgot what it was like to see the traffic so dense. I only went to Jakarta a couple of times, not enough to get stressed by the hustle and bustle of the city.

I have to get used to Emerport again now. It will be my home, after all.

Jim's car slows down, and he drives into the garage.

As soon as he parks, I get out and grab my suitcases. We take the elevator to go to Jim's floor.

When he unlocks the door to his place, I am hit with the realization that things have changed not only for me, but also for my loved ones.

Jim's condo looks different. Warmer. Ava's touch is everywhere, unless Jim had a personality transplant and developed an interest in potted plants, framed artworks, and scented candles. Some furniture is new as well.

"Ava has a good taste," I say.

"She does." Jim kisses Ava's temple. "I like my place better this way."

The two of them exchange a smile and a look that makes me feel like a third wheel. Luckily, the feeling doesn't last long. Ava glances at her wrist, and her eyes widen. "Damn, I'm gonna be late for class."

"Do you want me to drive you?" Jim asks.

"I'll take my car. It was nice meeting you, Brian. See you later?"

"Sure."

Ava grabs her purse from the couch and rushes to the front door.

"Ava," Jim calls. "You forgot something."

Laughing, she pivots and hurries toward Jim. She wraps her arms around his neck and kisses him on the lips, whispering something too low for me to hear.

"Now I have to go for real," she says louder and breaks the hug.

As soon as the front door clicks shut behind her, Jim looks at me. "Hungry?"

"Not really," I say. "But we can eat if you are."

"Let's talk first. We have a lot to catch up on."

It's four in the afternoon, but I wouldn't be able to tell the time if it wasn't for the clock on the living room wall. Everything feels blurred. Must be the jet-lag.

I slump into Jim's soft couch, and he sits by my side.

"I'm glad you're back," he says.

"I'm glad you're happy. She seems to be a nice girl."

Jim chuckles to himself. "She is. But she's also strong and smart. She challenges me in ways I didn't expect. It's never a dull moment with her. I'm just sad we'll have to be apart soon."

"Why?"

"I'm going on tour. Ava will be busy with her classes, but even when she is, we're together most of the time. I'm calmer with her by my side."

"For how long?"

"Several months."

I whistle, and Jim sighs, resting his head against the back of the couch. "Yeah. That's my life, little fucker. What are your plans now?"

"Going home, visiting Mom and Pops, and then our grandparents. Then I'll need to rent an apartment on campus. I don't want to live in the dorms. I'll need quiet to study."

"Do you need money?"

I shake my head. "I've got savings. I'm good."

"If you need anything—"

"Jim, I said I'm good."

"Okay. So, you'll just stay on campus until classes start?"

"I think so. I want to volunteer at the hospital. Alec will try to find something for me once he's settled."

"Good idea. Want a drink?"

I nod. Jim rises and goes to the kitchen to get everything ready. Although we haven't talked much yet, I realize that he seems calmer. Happier. More like himself.

I want to ask him tons of questions. I want to know what exactly I missed while I was away, but I decide to wait.

Jim is back with our drinks and snacks. I take a small sip of my Jack and shove a handful of chips into my mouth.

I'm still chewing when he says, "I was scared shitless for you."

I glance at him. "Why?"

"Because you were fuck knows where, and the earthquakes in that area were on every channel."

"I'm okay. It was scary the first time. The second time, we were more prepared."

"How's your leg?"

"It was nothing." I roll my eyes at Jim's overbearing nature. "I only needed a couple of stitches."

"In case you were wondering, Mackenzie's okay."

My stomach clenches. "I know. I called doctor Morris every day. He must be fed up with me already."

"Are you gonna talk to him?"

I gulp down the rest of my drink and set the empty tumbler on the coffee table, nodding. "I just need to come up with the right words. He'll be pissed. I would be if I were him." Then I add, "You were right, Jim, and so was Leah."

"About your misplaced guilt? The accident wasn't your fault."

The uncomfortable feeling in my stomach intensifies. "About college and my future. I wish it hadn't taken me so long to realize I wanted more. I'm starting my degree at the age of twenty when I could have—"

"But you are starting. That's what really matters. Mom and Dad will be proud of you."

"Do they know?"

"It's your news to tell. I kept it secret like you asked. As for your other request, she's okay. Annie and Mackenzie share an apartment now. Leah has another roommate."

My heart squeezes painfully. "She never replied."

The words leave my mouth despite my initial resolve to not mention that letter. Why would she care about what I had to say? I ran away like a coward without saying goodbye. She probably burned the pages without reading them.

Sympathy drips from Jim's gaze. "Maybe she didn't get it?"

I shrug. He knows I hate what I did, but he doesn't know everything. There's much more to Leah and me. There are way too many important chapters in our story.

I'm scared that she might have already tried to rewrite them or erase them altogether.

Talking to Mac won't be easy, but seeing Leah and fixing what I broke will probably be the hardest thing I've done—harder than sticking my hands into that man's body while Alec was trying to save his life.

"It's gonna be okay," Jim says.

I want to believe him.

***

For the next couple of hours, Jim and I chat about everything and nothing.

Ava is back at almost eight. We have dinner together, and my eyelids grow heavy even before I'm done with my meal.

I wish Ava and Jim goodnight and leave the two lovebirds in the kitchen.

Even showering tires me out. By the time I'm in bed, I can barely find the energy to pull the sheet over my still damp body.

Despite the exhaustion, I can't fall asleep.

The bed is too soft and comfortable. I toss and turn it in for almost an hour before I give up and throw the pillow to the floor.

As I lie on the carpet and stare at the ceiling, I think about the last nine months. I feel detached from reality. It's as if a part of me is still there, next to the volcanoes.

It's temporary. I'll get used to my new life soon, but I won't be the same guy who traveled to the other side of the world, hoping to find himself.

I'll hopefully be someone better.