"Wei Gongzi, can you look at me?"

I looked up at him, "huh?" I asked.

"I know you still feel guilty for stabbing me back then, and I have already forgiven you and forgotten about it really," he explained and then stood right in front of me, "but I do not trust you yet, Wei Gongzi."

I was expecting him to be a little concerned about me yet, "I understand," I said avoiding his gaze.

"I especially do not trust you to be alone with my Didi," Xichen said, "I do not care who you are hiding from, but until you have gained my trust, I do not want to see you alone with him here again."

"He invited me himself," I told him, "but I understand, so I will leave," I said, "but you will regret your behavior towards me one day. No matter who or why, I always thought you were the diplomat of politics and treated everyone equally and fairly...boy did people get you wrong."

"Not wrong, but they do not know the lengths a Lan will go to protect their family," he told me.

I sighed and walked to the door, "let me tell you what Baoshan told me, even though you are family, one day you will have to choose between family or the common folk. A cultivator's purpose is to protect the people even if it means to lose those they love. A cultivator's life no longer matters when you have people who count on you to protect them. Every cultivator should know this but I guess the Lan Sect has been lacking in some of there education," I said and looked at Lan Wangji, "have a good rest of your day, Lan Er Gongzi."

Without another word, I left the Jingshi and went back to my guest room. I stayed there for the rest of the week and barely stepped outside. Shishu and Song Lan would go out specifically just to get me food otherwise they understood why I remained hidden. I sighed as I felt my heart ache again.

How am I suppose to gain favor to others when they do not trust me or want me around?

I am a Yin and Yang Master and only one of them is born ever century. It will be a long time before another one comes along, so if something happens to me, the world will go into chaos. I am the master of balance but I cannot do anything if no one takes me seriously...will I always be seen as a son of a servant to everyone?

"A'Xian, are you alright?" Shishu asked.

I only now just realized that I had been crying, so I shook my head, "how can I be someone people can depend on if they do not trust me?" I asked.

"No one said this was going to be easy," Shishu said, "especially when I comes to these people who live in the sects. They have always been selfish in their own way and I am sure you have figured that out long ago. You cannot control what they do, but all you can do is hope that they will still seek to reason."

"I doubt it," I said, "I am just tired, Shishu. Is this the life my parents would want for me? To constantly be in pain?"

"Not really," he said, "this is about the tie between you and Lan Wangji, isn't it?"

I nodded, "I think I have decided to potentially get it cut. There is a chance that it could harm us but it will harm me more. And I also know that if one day we meet again, there is still a chance that fate will tie us together again, but I just need to distance myself from these people," I said, "it's the only way I can keep going."

"I will write to Baoshan about your decision," Shishu said.

In about three a week, Baoshan had me meet her in the training grounds of the Lan Sect, "are you absolutely sure you want this?"

"It's the only way for a fresh start. Maybe even break myself free from something I shouldn't be chained up in," I said. I stood in the center of the grounds, I wore minimal simple white robes and my feet bare, "the tie will come back I am sure."

"It will, but it may take at least a decade to do so," Baoshan said.

Before she could continue, Lan Qiren, Lan Xichen, and Lan Wangji came to the training grounds followed by my Shishu and Song Lan. I sighed, "you told them didn't you."

"The needed to know as it effects Lan Wangji too, not just you...though you are the one who is going to receive the most amount of pain from this. His will be just a small backlash but you...you do realize that the one who wants to break the tie is basically going through a tribulation?" Shishu explained.

"It's better than being tied with someone who's family does not trust me and does not care to even try," I said and looked at Baoshan, "please just do it."

"Wei Ying, can we talk about this first, what kind of tribulation?" Lan Wangji asked.

Baoshan sighed and turned to them, "he will face an illusion of sorts, seeing the tie be broken but in a way that is not very pleasant. His worst fears will consume him, he will receive a number of injuries from it and only he can come back from the illusion. Once he enters, no one can retrieve him. You will see the injuries being inflicted on his real person because the illusion will effect his health. If it becomes too much, he could die."

"What is this tie that he wants to break?" Xichen asked.

"He and Wangji met for the first time when they were young and fate bound them together by an invisible string. That string is called the String of Fate and it means that he and Wangji are soulmates. A'Ying wants to break free from that string because he doesn't feel valued here. He wants to cute ties completely with the Gusu Lan Sect, only then would he feel like he has gains some sort of trust with you all," Shishu explained.

"Wei Ying, please do not do this. I have been thinking nonstop about your confession that day and I may have been shocked at the time but it is true, I like you. I might have even started to liked you four years ago and because I snapped at you, it just showed that I was too much of a coward to handle it. I also felt that you would not like to live in this sect as you already found it suffocating...please do not cut me off when I am just now coming to terms with everything," Wangji begged.

"And what your brother said to be the other day?" I asked.

"I apologize for overstepping my boundaries, Wei Gongzi, and you are correct about what a cultivator is. I am just protective of my brother and I do not wish to see him hurt again...and by you doing this not only will you hurt him, you will hurt yourself more, and that alone will be painful to Wangji. He would not want that, I am sorry for what I said," he explained.

Baoshan looked at me, "you should hold off for a couple more days and really think this through. I want you to really know what you want. I know you do not actually want to do this because you love Wangji too much. You have told me yourself that your heart called to him the first you met here at Cloud Recesses. That was because the string was already tied. You need him, and he needs you," Baoshan said and turned to Lan Qiren, "would it be alright if I stayed for a few days so I can keep an eye on him?"

"Of course," Lan Qiren said, "and Wei Wuxian, why don't you and Baoshan come and sit down and talk with me."

I nodded and put my boots on. Baoshan then gave me another robe as she wanted me to warm up. I don't know what to do anymore. This is so difficult, but I will see what Lan Qiren and Baoshan have to say.