At dinner, I introduced Isaac to Axel and Anne. Isaac didn't really say anything the entire time; he just kept his shoulders hunched over and stared down at the table while picking at his food. Anne observed him for a while, eventually asking him a couple of questions. He replied with one-word answers and shrugs. I noticed changes in him with each minute that passed, like the way he looked around and fidgeted, or how he constantly chewed his nails and barely spoke. I worried about him, remembering the call he'd made a while back, and how quiet he seemed now. He wasn't the same person I'd met the first time in Thailand, with a bright smile that could lighten things up a dark situation. He was in pain.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah." He nodded, pressing his lips together and avoiding eye-contact.

"Are you sure?"

He nodded once more. "I'm fine."

And then he stayed like that for the rest of dinner. He just sat quietly, sticking close to me without saying a word.

--

That night, I found Isaac sitting outside, underneath a bed of stars.

"Isaac," I said.

He flinched and looked over his shoulder, then looked back towards the sky and didn't say anything. I sat down next to him. "What are you doing?"

He shrugged.

I sighed, looked up, and caught a glimpse of the stars. They were bright, illuminating the sky and staring down at us.

"The kids are adorable, aren't they?" I said.

Isaac nodded. "Kasem and Weera are pretty funny."

"Do you want kids someday?" 

"Mhm. I'm thinking minimum one, maximum ten."

"Interesting," I laughed. "Ten, huh? I feel bad for your future wife."

"I said maximum," he chuckled.

"One is kind of boring too, for the kid I mean. I've been an only child for the majority of my life, and it's always better to have a sibling to hang out with, you know?"

"Again, minimum. Keywords, Ava."

"Hey, Isaac?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you..." I trailed off for a second, the memories pouring back into my mind. "Do you remember that time I thought I saw a shooting star? The last time we were in Thailand?"

"Yes."

I rested my head on his shoulder and let out a deep breath. "This kind of reminds me of that."

There was a long pause, and so I just kept staring at the sky. When I was younger and with my family down at our cottage, I used to lay on the docks and watch the stars and just talk. My father had said that when he was a kid, he thought of the night sky as a long, dark sheet that had been poked by a needle too many times, and now the light was just shining through it.

"Ava?" Isaac murmured.

"Yes?"

He hesitated. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For hanging up on you, and ignoring you, and scaring you, and I know it probably hurt you it's just that I'm messed up, Ava. I don't even know what happened to me. I wish -- I wish I could just --"

"Shh, Isaac," I whispered. I took his hand and felt it tremble underneath mine. "It's okay."

"I'm sorry," he breathed.

"Don't worry about it, Isaac. It's okay."

"No, it's not okay, Ava."

"Don't worry about it."

"Ava?"

"Yes?"

I lifted my head from his shoulder and looked at him, waiting for him to say something. For a minute, he just kept watching the ground. Finally, his gaze met mine and he said,

"I love you. You know that, right?" 

I smiled. "I love you, too."

When I said this, he looked away from me again and shook his head. "No... No, you don't."

"What do you mean I don't?"

He backed away from me a little and stood up. "You don't mean that."

"What are you talking about? Of course, I do."

"No, don't say that. Please don't say that, Ava."

"Why not?"

"You don't love me."

"I do, Isaac! What's going on with you?"

"No, Ava. No, no, no. Stop!"

"Isaac..."

"Don't tell me that kind of stuff. I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't hurt me, Isaac. You're not making any sense." 

He didn't respond. 

Instead, he buried his hands in his pockets and looked up at the sky. I pushed myself up and watched him, feeling irritated. "Isaac, look at me." He didn't. He just kept staring at the sky without saying a word. I swallowed hard, feeling my throat tighten. "What? So now you're just going to ignore me? Just like how you ignored me for the past few months when I was worried sick about you?"

"I'm sorry, Ava. I'm really sorry."

"Sorry about what?"

"Like I said, Ava. I'm not the same guy, okay? You don't understand. You never will."

"That's not an excuse, Isaac!"

"I know, I know. It's just..." He squeezed his eyes shut and ran his fingers through his hair. "I don't know what's happening to me anymore. Something's wrong with me."

He sat back down, burying his face in his hands. "I'm sorry. I know I'm being irrational. It happens a lot. It's just..." he trailed off.

I kneeled down next to him. His breaths became shaky as his eyes shifted to every corner, looking around. His hand reached for mine, gripping onto it tightly.

"Isaac?" I asked, feeling a pang of guilt and sudden worry. I sat closer to him and let him hold onto my hand, watching him carefully. "Are you okay?"

He shook his head, letting go of my hand and pushing me away. "I can't breathe."

"What do you mean?"

His eyes met mine and he watched me for a minute, his face flushed and sweaty and filled with fear. Suddenly I felt anxious and didn't know what to do. "Isaac? Do you want help? Is there anything I can do?"

Breathing heavily, he pressed one hand to his chest and gripped back onto my hand firmly with the other. "I... I can't... I can't breathe."

I placed my hand on his shoulder, trying to act as calm as possible. "Shh, Isaac," I whispered. "Concentrate on breathing. I'm going to go find some help, okay?"

My heart racing, I tried getting up, but his grip tightened and he wouldn't let go of me. "No," he managed to say.

"Isaac, I'll be right back. I promise."

"No, Ava. I'm fine. I just need a minute."

"Are you sure?"

He nodded and kept his gaze fixed on me, so I sat back down, watching him carefully. "Ava," he choked. "I'm sorry."

"Shh, don't think about that right now. Just keep breathing."

He shook his head once more, eyes darting to the left and right while he kept panting and fighting for breath. "I can't."

Someone approached us, the sound of their voice startling me. "What's going on?" asked Anne, kneeling down next to the two of us. "Is he okay?"

"He says he can't breathe," I told her.

Anne turned to him, watched him for a second and then said very calmly, "Take a deep breath. Slow down your breathing."

"I'm trying," he wheezed. "I still... I can't b-breathe."

"It's okay," she assured him. "You're safe. You're going to be fine. Just stay focused."

"I c-can't!"

"What's happening to him?"

"Panic attack, probably," she said. "I used to get them."

Isaac kept coughing and gasping and panting, while Anne told him to try and count slowly. When that didn't work, she told him to breathe in and hold in his breath and then breathe out.

"Alright Isaac, breathe in. Now hold in your breath for as long as you can, okay? Breathe out."

Eventually, his grip on my hand loosened and his breaths slowed down a little. He wiped his palms against the ground and looked at the two of us, still shaking.

"Better?" Anne asked.

Isaac nodded, still trying to catch his breath. "Thanks."

"No problem," Anne said, offering him a smile. "I'm heading back inside. I'll see you guys later?"

"See you later," I told her. "Thank you."

I turned to Isaac and caught him staring. "I'm sorry," he breathed. "I didn't mean to --"

"It's okay, Isaac."

He cleared his throat and stared at me for a little while longer, before lying down on the grass and letting out a deep breath. I sat next to him, watching the sky full of stars above us and listening to the sound of his breathing and the trees rustling.

"Isaac?" I said.

"Yes,"

"The last time we were watching the stars... I said I loved you. Do you remember that?"

There was a long pause before he actually said anything. Sitting up, he raked his fingers through his hair and glanced at me.

"Do you?" I asked.

"Yeah," he nodded. "I do."

"Well, I meant it, and I meant it today. I love you, Isaac. Don't you ever forget that. Okay?" He stayed silent. "Isaac," I said. "Are you listening to me?"

"Yes,"

"I love you."

He stared at me for a while as if he was trying to think of something to say - like he was hesitating. And then he pulled me closer to him, leaned in, and he kissed me. 

"I love you too, Ava," he said. "More than you could ever imagine."