"Nines...Hey, Nines! You good?" Miller asked as he rested a hand on his rigid shoulder. He was slumped over his desk as if sleeping. He'd never seen him like that before, and Connor never did it either. Nines hummed softly as he slowly forced his eyes open. The lids felt heavier than usual. His whole system was lagging. It took him a few moments to process Miller's words and actually raise his heavy head. He pushed himself up slowly and winced. His joints were stiff, and his spine seemed almost rigid. It was like he could feel the individual sections of the plating rubbing and clicking together. Miller's brow creased with concern as he finally looked up with unfocused eyes. His optical units were malfunctioning. Miller was going in and out of focus as they tried to adjust. "We have a case."

"Understood." Nines tried to push himself to his feet, knees protesting all the while. They were both surprised as his legs gave out and he fell to one knee, resting a hand on the edge of his desk as Miller grabbed his shoulders and guided him down safely. Miller looked positively alarmed as he propped him up and looked around for help.

"Hey, Nines! Someone find Connor! Has anyone seen him?" The bullpen was busy, so someone must have heard the shout, but Nines couldn't really focus on that. He closed his heavy eyes against the onslaught of noise that his audio processors couldn't separate. Instead of individual sounds and voices, he was just getting a deafening static roar. He could see Miller's lips moving as he looked at him, asking if he was alright again. "Connor! I don't know what happened." Miller was clearly relieved as he saw Connor hurrying towards them.

"Nines? Did you forget to charge again?" he asked as he dropped to his knees and took over. Nines blinked tiredly as he tried to think back. He was pretty sure he'd charged a couple of days ago. Or...was it three days? Either way, he still had plenty of energy in reserve. His LED span red. It was a human phrase, but he really didn't feel too good. Everything felt stiff. Movement was difficult. He leaned his head on Connor's shoulder, desperate for comfort against the onslaught of noise. Connor drew back the skin of his hand and rested it over Nines' neck as he held him up, almost sighing in relief as scanned his ailing systems. "Your thirium levels are almost fully depleted." That was good. It wasn't too serious.

Nines groaned a tired acknowledgement and remained in Connor's arms for a while. He remembered now. He'd been working a case earlier that morning when the low level warning had sounded. The little internal alarm had annoyed him so much that he'd turned it off. By the time they'd returned to the precinct, he'd completely forgotten about it, too focused on tracking down leads for their current case. The current case he should be working with Gavin. Not Miller. Gavin should be there! Gavin should-

"It's alright...Could you get a bottle of thirium from the vending machine?" Connor asked as he looked up, unwilling to leave Nines until he'd stabilised. Miller agreed instantly and hurried across to the vending machines while Connor stroked Nines' hair and rubbed circles on his large back. Nines would have been crying, only he had no available thirium to convert into optical fluid. "You need to be more careful...Thirium depletion may not be fatal, but it can lead to numerous hardware issues, and it's vital for your internal bio-components to continue functioning." Nines nodded, painfully aware. He'd never intended for this to happen. There were simply other things on his mind. Important things. Things like Gavin.

"Here." Miller returned with an uncapped bottle in hand. Connor took it with thanks and helped Nines drink down the first few sips. Even with just that small amount, he could feel a definite improvement. He could also taste the citrus flavour of the thirium drink. It was his favourite. The one Gavin always used to get him. His hand shook a little as he took the plastic bottle. "Connor, should I ask Ralph and Ben to take this one?" Miller tried to be subtle, but Nines could hear him perfectly well. His chest ached at that. His incompetence had created more work for other officers.

"That would be best. Nines will need at least four more bottles and an hour to process," Connor replied as he continued to soothe and support Nines' body. Miller hurried off after that, leaving Nines feeling like an utter failure. Don't be so hard on yourself...We all know how difficult this is for you. That somehow made it even worse. They all expected him to be a useless screw up without Gavin. Nines said nothing as he chugged the bottle, but Connor could tell from the look on his face that he felt terrible. Once the bottle was empty, Connor helped him back into his chair. Comfort meant little to them, but it drew less attention for him to be sitting in his chair rather than on the floor.

Nines watched as Connor returned to the vending machine and interfaced with it to release a flood of bottles. It almost seemed like he'd broken it as a full section fell out. The noise was enough to turn a few heads. Connor paid them no mind as he returned with an arm full of bottles. He hadn't even bothered to count them. Nines needed as much thirium as he could get. Four bottles was the bare minimum he needed to function. He'd need more than double that to get back to his regular levels. Nines looked down at the next bottle. It was chocolate. Another new flavour. This one was so new that Gavin hadn't even seen it before he-

"Hey...You've only just replenished your thirium levels," Connor murmured softly as he wiped Nines' glistening eyes. His brow pinched in sympathy as he stroked his cheek and dragged his chair across. Nines almost cried harder at that. They weren't wasted tears if they were cried for Gavin. It had been a full week since he'd last cried. He wasn't sure whether he should feel proud or sad. If he stopped crying, wasn't that a step closer to resignation? To accepting what others already seemed to think was inevitable? He drank as Connor nudged his bottle. "I know this is hard...It's been over a month now, and we've had no new leads...We're not giving up, Nines. Hank and I are still in constant contact with Colin and Agent Perkins. They're doing everything they can, chasing down every lead they find..." That didn't make him feel better. Didn't the fact that they were doing everything they could with no results mean it was hopeless?

"How long..." He wasn't sure he wanted to ask. Connor tilted his head patiently, waiting for him to continue. "How long do killers usually keep their victims alive?" Connor's brow pinched. It was a question he'd hoped he wouldn't ask. Running the numbers hadn't led to any solid conclusions, but they also hadn't been positive.

"There's really no way of knowing...Some serial killers dispose of their victims right away. Others keep them for a few weeks, months, or even years. It mostly depends on the individual...From what we know of him, the Hickory Killer isn't in the habit of keeping victims alive unless they serve a particular purpose." Nines knew what he meant. He was talking about Sandy. She'd been the exception to the rule. He'd kept her alive and unharmed for over two weeks. He kept her because she was a tool to lure Gavin. Strictly speaking, she wasn't a victim. He never intended to harm her. But what about Gavin? They'd played a game of cat and mouse for almost four years, and now he had him. How long did he intend to keep him alive? It was unlikely to be a permanent arrangement. Nines' jaw tightened at the thought. How long would it take for the Hickory Killer to get bored? What if he already had? Was Gavin's body out there somewhere? Stabbed and torn up, waiting to be found? "Nines, hey!" Connor took him in his arms again as his LED burned red.

"I can't stop thinking about it..." His whole body trembled as he gripped Connor's jacket. Connor hushed him softly, holding tighter at the silent plea for comfort. He'd never wanted him to experience this. It was one of the worst things he could imagine. He didn't know what he'd do if something happened to Hank or Niles. He'd already seen his twin brother and sister mutilated and killed by this manic. It didn't bode well for Gavin. He didn't dare voice his fear out loud. That wasn't what Nines needed to hear. "What will I do if he..." Connor held tighter as Nines trailed off with a silent sob.

"We'll definitely keep looking. We're not giving up." It was a poor reassurance. Connor wanted to lie. He wanted to tell him that everything would be alright, but after weeks of searching and no progress, he couldn't. Nines would blame him and call him a liar later if he did. Hank had been very clear about that. Never offer hope if you can't deliver. It builds up their hopes and makes failure much harder to accept, festering bitterness and resentment. He didn't want to know how Hank had gained so much knowledge in that department. It was likely a painful story.

"You having some sort of android party over here?" Hank teased as he gestured to the pile of bottles. Connor smiled warmly as he drew back and Nines dried his eyes. "How are you doing, son? Chris told me you weren't doing so well." That was likely an understatement. He was probably the first android in history to almost accidentally run his thirium reserves dry. Nines shrugged evasively. Hank was his superior. It wasn't a good look to admit such incompetence. He didn't want to be relieved of duty. He needed to keep working to find Gavin. Hank slipped into the seat as Connor slipped out of it and levelled Nines with a searching look, waiting patiently. He looked gentle, blue eyes warm and open, but expectant.

"I am...I am having some difficulties..." He couldn't lie to Hank, and he couldn't leave him without an answer when he was looking at him like that. Hank nodded as if he understood. Maybe he did. He'd had partners before. He also understood loss. Nines avoided his searching eyes. I haven't lost Gavin! He wasn't sure he was even convincing himself anymore. His jaw tightened as he felt his lower lip tremble again, blinking saline as a weathered hand rested on his knee. Hank was warm. Warm like Gavin.

"I figured..." Hank drew back and picked up one of the bottles scattered across his desk. Nines accepted it and sipped warily. He didn't like how Hank was looking at him. He looked like a father who was about to tell his son that Christmas had been cancelled. "Are you sure you don't need more time off? I know it's easier to keep busy, but I don't want you to get hurt out there." Nines' look of dread must have been enough to tell him his response. "Alright! Alright, but if you're going to be here, then you've got to get back on a regular schedule...Eating and sleeping are important for everyone, human and android alike. You'll be no good to anyone if you run yourself into the ground, including Gavin." That was a fair point. Nines couldn't help the well of shame that opened in the pit of his stomach. Hank was right. He was wallowing in self-pity, and Gavin was out there somewhere, probably suffering. Alone.

"Understood." Nines drained the bottle in his hand. He had seven or eight more left to drink. He would follow Hank's advice. If he wanted to find Gavin, he needed to remain in peak condition. He also needed to find a way to manage these emotions. Things had been so much easier prior to deviation. He'd been more able to compartmentalise back then, putting his emotions in a fortified box. What he felt now was raw and often uncontrollable. When he experienced joy, he was as happy as he'd ever been, but with sadness, it was the worst thing he'd ever experienced. Tears flowed like unbidden waterfalls while sobs wracked his chest and left him aching like he was about to crack open.

"Hey, we're doing our best to find him, alright?" Hank's gentle words meant a lot, and the fatherly hand on his shoulder was grounding. The grip was firm, but gentle. Sympathetic, but encouraging. Nines nodded meekly as he chugged his bottle, trying not to feel too much like a child as he swallowed gulp after gulp, pushing down the rising sobs in his chest. If he wanted to find Gavin, he had to be strong. He needed to regain that icy cool he used to have; become an immovable fortress. He was an RK900! Cyberlife's most advanced android! A military grade weapon! Unfortunately, right now he didn't know where to aim himself.

"Hank, we have a case..." Connor sounded less than pleased as he approached. Nines wasn't doing so well, and as his brother, he wanted to be there to take care of him. Unfortunately, they were at work and had duties they needed to perform. Criminals wouldn't catch themselves. Nines sat up a little straighter at that, drying his eyes and putting on a slightly stronger facade. Hank knew a brave face when he saw one. He nodded at Connor and got to his feet before leaning down to Nines' eye level.

"You hang in there, alright?" Nines nodded his agreement, tightening his jaw and forcing down the lump in his throat. He was at work, and if he wanted to stay there, he needed to get a hold of himself. With a last pat on his shoulder, Hank led the way towards the rear carpark with Connor following behind. His hazel eyes creased almost guiltily as he followed Hank, leaving Nines alone at his desk. To his credit, Miller took his role as his partner seriously and slid into the recently vacated seat. He seemed a little awkward and uncertain at first, but he clearly had something he wanted to say.

"I know we don't work together often. I'm a bit of a swing ball in that regard, always going back and forth, but I am here for you...Gavin was my partner for a while, and I'm worried about him too." He didn't pretend to care as much as Nines did. He knew that was impossible. No one acknowledged it, but it really wasn't a secret in their department that Nines and Gavin were a thing. They were careful about it, of course, never giving anyone any solid proof, but it was emotionally obvious. Gavin had never opened up with anyone the way he did with Nines, not even Jack. Although he was pretty stoic earlier on in their partnership, Nines' gradual softening hadn't escaped his notice either. His eyes were still wet as he stared into his latest bottle.

"I-I am...uncertain how to process this level of emotion." The blinking yellow and red of his LED was enough to clue him in to that. Miller was gentle as he reached across with a tissue and dried his eyes, prompting Nines to snuffle and do his best to pretend he wasn't crying. It felt strange, showing such weakness to someone that wasn't Hank or Connor. He also felt a little safer with Miller. Hank was duty-bound to relieve him of duty if he wasn't coping, but Miller may give him a little more leeway and understanding as someone on his level.

"I'm not surprised...You only recently deviated, right? I can't imagine what that's like. It's probably like going from seeing the world in black and white to seeing it in full colour, or being deaf and suddenly hearing everything. Overwhelming, right?" Nines nodded meekly. It was a crude comparison, but not entirely inaccurate. In human terms, it was a close analogy. The closest they could comprehend. "It takes time to adjust to anything, but having this happen so soon after is...insurmountable. You can talk to me, and I'll listen. Anything, any time, whatever you need. Until Gavin comes back, we're partners. Everyone needs an outlet they can trust, so I'll be there for you...okay?" Nines was more than a little touched by the offer. If it were anyone else, he'd expect it to be a ploy, a false offer, to garner his true state of mind in order to keep him in line. However, he knew Miller's character well enough to know he'd never agree to anything so underhanded, especially not when dealing with a friend.

"Thank you...I must admit, without Gavin, I find myself feeling more...isolated. Lost." Miller had expected no less. As their intimacy had increased, so had their level of isolation. Gavin had spent less time with Tina, and Nines had never really been close to anyone else. He was Connor's brother, but that was family. Miller didn't recall a time he'd seen Nines make a proper friend.

"I feel a little lost myself...Between you and me, Gavin's the real linchpin around here. He held things together when everything was falling apart, even after what happened to Jack...I think he knew the department couldn't afford it, you know? With Hank the way he was, and us losing Jack not long after, we couldn't afford to lose him, too." This was a side to Gavin that had been hinted at, but no one had ever spoken about outright. Most people had previously focused on his unlikable nature and poor attitude. At his expectant silence, Miller shrugged and continued. "After his son died, Lieutenant Anderson was off for a while, of course, so we all picked up extra shifts here and there, but the bulk of his work went to Gavin. He and Ben are the next highest in rank, and since Gavin is younger, he volunteered for the more active shifts. Even after Hank came back, he was constantly on call for the times he didn't show or didn't pick up. He was running himself into the ground even before Jack died."

"And Gavin blamed himself for that."

"Oh, for sure! We never spoke about it, but we all knew what happened in the tower...After that, he withdrew even more. Got nasty, too. No one wanted to work with him. He even fell out with Tina for a while, and she was his rock! I did my best to give him what he needed day-to-day. I was his partner, on and off, but we never acknowledged that. He was happier that way. Things got a little better when Connor came back. Your brother really helped get him back on track, and then you came and he was almost the old Gavin again. Hell, he might be even better than he was before! I don't think I've seen him happier." It was nice that Miller gave him so much credit, and he was relieved he still talked about Gavin in the present tense. It made him feel like there was still hope that he might be found alive.