Johnny's POV

A/N - Are you all happy that you get to finally see what Johnny thinks?

I woke up feeling like una schifezza.

I remembered going to Ponyboy's last night after Two Bit commented on my accent and speech. I felt so alienated. 

I knew I had to change the biggest part about myself, and quickly. 

-

I climbed up a tree near Ponyboy's window, at around ten o'clock. I didn't care that it was late. I just new that I had to talk to him.

I began to knock on the glass, trying not to make that much noise.

The window then opened, and there stood Ponyboy, staring at me.

He looked as stanco as ever, his hair a mess. He wasn't wearing a shirt, making him look unbelievably attractive.

I couldn't help but bite my lip, stifling a stupid expression, or even a moan.

"Johnny? What're you doing? It's the middle of the night!" he whispered. He sounded worried.

"I had to come see you," I stated. I decided to wait before telling him my plan.

"Something sounds different..." he said, trailing off. I grinnned a bit.

He noticed, I thought to myself.

"Yeah, I know," I replied. He looked a bit lost.

"Johnny, what happened to your accent?" he asked, a bit stunned. I began t grin widely. 

"You noticed! I decided to try and get rid of it, and talk like everybody else in Tulsa!" I exclaimed quietly.

I actually felt horrible that I had to change who I was for Ponyboy. I didn't want to sound different, but I couldn't help it. I was born in Italia, and all I was was a stupid immigrante. 

Nobody in America wants me here unless I change.

I have to change for Ponyboy.

"Is this 'cause of Two Bit?" he asked in a demanding voice. 

I shook my head no, even though he was a contributing factor to the problem.

"Nah. It's just better for me to get rid of the accent all together. I gotta sound...what's the word?" I asked, trying to only speak in English.

"You want to sound normal?" he questioned. I nodded eagerly.

"Yeah, I want to be normal. So, that starts with getting rid of my accent!" I stated, trying to sound  fiducioso.

He could probably see through my lies.   

Ponyboy began to tear up.

I didn't say anything, even though I know I should have.

"You don't gotta do this, Johnnycakes! You're perfect just the way you are!" he said, desperately. I reacted by looking down, and shaking my head.

"I'll see you tomorrow at school."

I turned around, and began to climb down the tree. 

All I felt was heartbreak. 

-

I began to tear up, remembering the events of last night.

It hurt to think about Ponyboy crying. I love him, and I just want him to be contento. 

You can't love your bestfriend, Johnny. You can't love someone who doesn't love you, said the voice in my head. 

Pissed and sad, I began to get dressed in some of my best clothes. 

Maybe I couldn't call him my boyfriend, but I could at least look good for him. 

I put on a green flannel that Ponyboy had left at my house last night, on top of a black shirt that was also his. I squeezed into a pair of black jeans, and put on a pair of white converse, with a beanie. 

I walked out of the house, waiting for Ponyboy to come and get me so we could walk together. 

He never came.

-

I sobbed on my way to school, feeling betrayed and da solo.

I was worried about Ponyboy. For the last two months or so, he had never let me walk alone to school. He was always nervous that I was going to get lost or beaten up.

What changed?

Was it me?

Was it my fault that Ponyboy didn't love- that Ponyboy didn't like me anymore?

Let's be real, Johnny. He'd never love you.

-

A few minutes later, I caught a glimpse of Ponyboy in the hall, just before homeroom. 

"Hey, Pony! Wait up!" I yelled from behind him. He didn't turn around.

He probably didn't hear me. 

He wouldn't try and be a douche on scorpo, would he?

"Pony!" I said, exasperated. I put my hadn on his shoulder, forcing him to look at me.

"Oh, hi Johnny. What's up?" he asked, casually. He didn't look excited to see me.

I felt like crying again.

"I was just wondering why you didn't stop by this morning so we could walk together..." I mumbled quietly. He shrugged like it was nothing.

"Oh, I don't know. I guess I just didn't feel up to it," he replied.

I clenched my fist, trying to stop the sudden pain in my stomach from growing.

"Oh, well, will you walk me home today?" he questioned desperately. He just shrugged his shoulders.

"Maybe, maybe not."

He walked away, leaving me alone. 

I ran to the boys bathroom.

Once I found a stall, I looked it behind me.

I began to cry again. 

-

A few minutes later, someone walked into the bathroom. They hardly made a noise. Then, I heard a voice. 

"Johnny? Is that you?" they asked. I sobbed even harder, but opened the door. 

Standing in front of me was Two Bit and Steve, both looking heavily concerned. 

"What's going on, buddy?" asked Steve, kneeling down next to me. I cried a bit more. 

"I'll call you tonight and explain everything," I told Steve. He just nodded, and got up, leaving. He understood me.

Two Bit, however, stayed in place. 

"Is this because of me?" he questioned, quietly. He sat down next to me, and wiped my tears with the back of his hand.

"What?" I asked, confused. I bit my lips.

"Look, kid, I'm sorry about yesterday. I really didn't mean anything I said about your accent.  It's great, and you sound a million times better than the southerner trash," he told me. I made eye contact with him.

"Really? You mean that?" I said, wanting confirmation. He nodded.

"Yeah, I do. You're perfect just the way you are," he stated. I smiled a bit.

Two Bit got up, pulling me up with him.

"C'mon. Let's get you cleaned up."

From there, a beautiful friendship was started. 

-

Ponyboy was a few steps away from me, walking home. I sprinted up to him, and tapped his shoulder. 

I wanted his attenzione.

He turned around.

"Jonathan Cade," he stated, looking me in the eye. I felt cold inside. "What can I do for you?"

"P- Ponyboy, could I walk home with you?" I asked. My voice was quivering, and my accent was begging to show through. 

He shrugged his shoulders.

My heart shattered.

"If that's what you want, sure," he replied coolly, walking ahead. I followed him, but quickly caught up.

I just wanted to be with him.

I reached out to grab his hand, but he pulled away.

He shoved his hands in his pockets instead.

-

We were close to his house, when I burst.

"Pony?" I questioned, sounding nervous.

"Hm?" he replied, not even paying attention to me. I gulped.

"Did I do something wrong?" I asked. There were definitely tears in my eyes.

He just bit his lip, and nodded.

He turned around, and began to walk home, leaving me all alone in the street.

When he was gone, I sprinted home.

I needed to call Steve.

-

I picked up the phone immediately, dialing Steve's number. 

It rang a few times, before someone picked up.

"Hello?" asked Steve. The minute I heard his soothing voice, I began to sob.

"Johnny? Is that you? What's going on?" he questioned. I couldn't hold it back anymore. 

"IO AMO. LO SO, MA NON FARA MAI LA STRESSA COSA. È TUTTA COLPA MIA," I screamed, frustrated. I couldn't speak in English anymore.

"Lasciatevi calmare, rilassarsi. Questo è ciò che devi fare. Ora, dimmi tutto," he replied.

I did as he said.

I told him everything through heavy tears.

The line suddenly went dead.

I knew that Steve was going to-

..Pause.