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Instinctual Feeling



  

RYAN.

I pushed my plate of food off the table and it crashed on the floor. Greg's left eye twitched. He gave my mom a meaningful glance. She got up and grabbed my arm, pulling me out of the house. I caught Rayne’s pitiful glance as she pulled me away, she glared at Greg.

My mom pushed me out the door, into the cold and slammed it behind me. Pure rage boiled in me and I curled my fists.

"Stay out there and think about what you've done," she shouted.

My hands were red, I breathed out harshly as the cold slapped me in the face. Greg was my mom's pilfering philanderer of a boyfriend. Scum of the earth. He was a druggie who stole my mom’s money every time he came around and she always indulged him. I hated the bastard.

I heard shouts from inside and more china crashing on the floor.

"Shut up, you bitch," Greg's voice boomed.

"Let go of me," Rayne screamed and I saw red.

I turned back to the house and swung the door open. Flames rose up my arms and all I could see was the boiling rage in me.

Greg had my sister up by the wall in a chokehold. Her right cheek was red with his handprint. My mom stood to the side staring at them with tears rolling down her face.

"Let go of my sister," I roared.

I couldn't control it. I raised my arms and a blast of fire flew out of it, headed for Greg.

"No, Ryan," my mom screamed. She moved in front of him and my eyes widened. She fell to the floor with half of her body burnt.

"No!" I rushed to her and grabbed her. Her skin was charred. "Mom," I cried. I hadn't meant to hit her. I felt for a pulse but there was none.

"You killed her.” I heard a growl behind me. "You murderer!"

I looked back with teary eyes and Greg charged at me with a butter knife. I reared back and he froze. Ice covered his body rapidly, shards sticking out of his frozen form. Rayne fell to the floor and I ran to her. She had tears running down her face as I grabbed her.

"What have we done?" she whispered.

I moved the Rubix cube around in my hand, not really trying to solve the puzzle. Doing that calmed me down when my thoughts were chaotic. I looked out at the snow-covered mountains. There was a chill in the air but I felt hot, feverish even.

I hated myself, hated this power I was given. But most of all, I hated my mom. If she hadn't tried to protect him, she wouldn't be dead and I wouldn't have to live with this guilt of killing my mother.

I heard footsteps behind me and I turned. Rayne sat beside me and smiled at me.

"What are you doing out here alone?" she asked.

Her skin was pale but then that was how she had always looked since that day. Her alabaster skin was as white as snow.

"Just thinking," I replied and flipped the cube.

She looked down at it and her expression changed. "What are you thinking about?"

I gave a dry chuckle. It was more of a snort. "What a great son I am. The best even, I should be given an award that says 'Ryan Summers, the best son of the year'. The kind that kills his own mother."

"Stop that.” She grabbed my hand and the cube fell out. "You're burning up.” She grabbed my other hand and I jerked away from her, rushing up.

"Leave me alone, Rayne."

"And let you do what? Burn the whole place to the ground?"

"Isn't that what I'm good at? Destroying things."

"No," she whispered, "No, Ryan. You're not a destroyer. You’re the kindest and the sweetest person ever."

My hands shook; my eyes watered. "All she had to do was let him go, she just had to break up with him, Rayne. He would've been out of our lives but no, she was so desperate for a man she chose to stay with him even when he constantly hurts us."

Flames erupted out of my hands, I felt like punching something. Preferably Greg's face. I wanted to bring him back and kill him again myself.

"You miss her," she whispered and I shook my head.

"I don't. I hate her."

I remembered how she used to make me sleep out in the cold, in the rain, all just to appease her lover.

"I miss her," she said and I shook my head at her.

"Then you're a fool."

She closed her eyes and tears fell down her cheek. When she opened them, they were ablaze with anger.

"How do you think I feel? You weren't the only one who killed someone that day and it wasn't a mistake."

I breathed in shakily. The first time her powers had manifested, she had frozen Greg to death.

"You killed mom by mistake, you didn't mean to do it but I...I killed him on purpose. He was going to hurt you and I couldn't let him do to you what he did to me.” She moved closer to me and grabbed my hands again.

"The past is behind us, Ryan.” She sniffed, "We have each other.” She held me tightly and I felt the cold seep into me as she absorbed the heat.

"We'll always have each other.” She pulled me towards her and hugged me. "I'll always have your back, Ryan."

The anger dissipated and all I felt was pain and a void in me. "I miss her, Rayne."

"I know," she said quietly. "I miss her too."

I remembered how things used to be before Greg came. We were happy. We were a family. "I miss how things were before him. Do you think mom would forgive us for what we did?”

“She’s dead, Ryan. There’s not much she can say about anything.” She rubbed my back and I breathed in her smell. It was comforting. Her presence was sturdy, a constant reminder that she would always be here.

We heard the sound of a car approaching and separated. A black sedan parked in front of us and Cam got down, followed by an excited Max.
He went round to the driver's seat and brought out a tired and battered-looking Grayson.

"What the hell, Cam? Where did you go?" Rayne asked.

"I went back to the military base," he replied.

"What?" I shouted. "Are you insane? How could you go there all alone?"

"I wasn't alone, Grayson helped."

He walked with Grayson leaning heavily on him back into the cave and I scowled.

"You went with him? You couldn't even call me or Hiro to accompany you. You chose a complete stranger."

He sniffed as he placed Grayson on the floor and straightened. He looked tired as he stared at me. "You weren't gonna come with me. I asked the first time and you said I was crazy to want to go back there. You were right."

I didn't feel good to be right. There was a sour feeling in my stomach. My jaw clenched.

Then he smiled. "I found the cure, Ryan. It was right there, lots of it in some kind of basement. We probably couldn't find it before because it was deep underground."

"You found the cure?" Gail asked.

A lot of people were starting to surround us at the mention of the cure. I caught Sally in the crowd, staring at us curiously. Her eyes roamed about. They settled on Grayson's body on the floor and her eyes widened. She pushed through the crowd and rushed to him.

"Grayson?" She pulled him on her lap, cupping his face. "What happened to him?"

The bitterness spread through me and I folded my arms on my chest. I looked away.

"How did you find the cure?" I asked Cam.

"What?" Cam frowned.

"We couldn't find it the last time we were there so how did you find it?"

"Oh! Grayson found it."

Of course he did. I rolled my eyes. "I don't know how he did it, really. He just teleported us there. He was a real lifesaver."

Of course he was. I scoffed and walked away from them. I was finding more and more reasons to not like that guy. Who was he anyway? Freaking Superman?

We knew nothing about him and yet he entrusted him with something we’d been planning for months. I felt a pull on my arm and I turned.

"Hey. What's wrong?" Rayne asked.

"Did you see that?" I pointed at the crowd we just left. "He went back there without any support and I'm sure something must've happened there for them to look so battered."

"He had Grayson," she pointed out.

"Exactly my point. We don't know anything about Grayson, he came out of nowhere. He's not even a part of us."

She frowned. "Actually, we found him all alone by the side of the road on our way back."

"Cam has never gone anywhere without me or Hiro. We do everything together and then suddenly he goes out on a mission alone–"

"With Grayson," she cut me off.

"...and they find the cure," I finished.

She frowned, then suddenly she burst out laughing. A peal of full-on laughter that had her gripping her stomach and bending over.

"What's so funny?"

"Oh my God, Ryan. You're jealous."

"What? I'm not jealous."

"You are. I can't believe I didn't see it before. You're jealous of Grayson.” She laughed.

I scoffed. "Please, I'm not jealous of that guy. He's not even worth it."

I pulled our tent flap aside and entered. Me, jealous of Grayson. Of all the absurd things to say. I don't have any reason to be jealous of him, he was not even good-looking. I sat on my mat and crossed my legs in front of me.

"Admit it. It’s just the two of us in here. You are jealous of him."

"I am not." I protested.

"You are too."

"Really?" I quirked a brow. "What are you, twelve?"

She smiled. I sighed. "I don't just trust him. He seems shifty."

"Really, Ryan?" She gave me an incredulous look.

"What? I'm telling you what I saw."

"You just met him, what, two days ago? You don't know him enough to conclude anything about him."

"Whatever." I rolled my eyes. She seemed determined to support him no matter what I said.

"Get to know him. Maybe he's not who you think he is."

"Maybe."

It was a big maybe. My instincts told me otherwise and I always trusted my instincts.


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