"What does that mean?" I asked Ryder.

"I don't know."

"Well didn't you ask your dad?"

"He doesn't know either," he sighed.

"Well someone has to know," I laughed hysterically just once while Ryder got up and made his way over to me. I didn't even want to deal with this anymore to be honest. I could understand why Andrew didn't want to be Alpha. They were so useless even when they were in control. "You know what? I don't even care anymore. It's not like it matters."

"But it does," Ryder insisted while I walked away from him. "How am I supposed to have you truly if you belong to someone else's pack? For all I know it isn't even Andrew's!"

"You know that I'm yours. Isn't that good enough?" I asked, crossing my arms. He walked over and wrapped his arms around my waist, knowing that the comment had been humbling. "It's not like I'm going to be a real werewolf anyways."

He frowned. "Meaning what?"

"I'm not going to phase every night or whenever you guys do," I said. "I think I had enough werewolf adventures in one night. I managed to hurt someone within ten seconds when Andrew's been phasing for four months and hasn't harmed a fly."

"You mean to tell me that you haven't phased since then?" he asked as if it was impossible. I nodded. He let out a breath while he released me. What now? He obviously heard my question as he turned around suddenly and looked at me suspiciously. "Maybe you're a new kind of alpha."

"Now you sound even more ridiculous than thinking I was pregnant."

"No," he denied, taking my hand and pulling me into sitting down. "You have to have serious control in order to not phase at your wolf's will all the time and even I had to make the change and stay a wolf for a while to fully understand everything, but not you, Ash. Maybe your control is because you're supposed to be an alpha—and not just because you're mated to one."

I gave it a thought for a second before I was presented with a hindrance.

"If I was Alpha, Andrew wouldn't be. The only other pack I could possibly belong to is his and if that was the case, there wouldn't be two alphas," I said. "Because I can't exactly be Alpha of your pack."

"It was just a guess," he reminded with a frown.

"Let's just not worry about it," I told him in a soft voice.

"But Ash—"

"Please?" I asked before briefly kissing him. I pulled away and his eyes were still shut for a moment before he opened them.

"Maybe you are an alpha," he said. "Because you sure as hell got me under your control."

"That's because you're scared of me," I teased before kissing him once more. His hands found my waist as mine found his shoulders and recognized that although I was denouncing the werewolf side to me, my animal would come out in sexual attraction to Ryder, for sure. That's probably why I pulled away due to my better judgment.

***

"How many ways are there to be Alpha if it isn't passed down?" I asked Ryder. It was much later now and I was busy back at his shelves looking at his childhood memories by medals while he was at his computer.

"Only two that I know of that are legitimate," he said and he spun around on his chair to face me. "Someone can challenge the current Alpha and win...or you can be a True Alpha."

"And that's how you're Alpha, right?" I asked. A True Alpha.

"It's complicated," he sighed.

"You're a boy who turns into a giant wolf," I reminded. "I think 'complicated' is expected."

"That's different," he sighed he said, bouncing his eyebrows.

"Sure it is," I sighed, returning to examining the shelf. This time, I looked up to a level in which was difficult for me to see, but eye level for Ryder. I reached up on my toes to grab a sports award plaque. It was engraved to read the undefeated achievements of Ryder Ramon in 2008. I was about to dismiss it along with the other trophies and such, but when I positioned it to be replaced on the shelf, Ryder grabbed it from behind to not only rip something off the back of the plaque, but push the award far back onto the shelf.

"Hey—" I began to say in protest, but then saw him look down at the small picture he held. It had two boys in it. One—him—wearing a bright yellow and black football uniform while being hoisted over the shoulder by a rather tall boy who could be near the same age. He had cropped dark hair and the same tanned skin of Ryder's—they even had the same smile. I didn't have to ask who it was because he was going to tell me.

"Some of these are his," Ryder said, referring to the medals or maybe awards that lacked the infamous name of his. "He basically taught me everything, so even the stuff that's mine is because of him too."

He put the picture down and looked down at me. "The only thing he didn't teach me was how to be an alpha," he added. "I loved him because he was my brother, but he wasn't exactly the embodiment of the best leader."

"What do you mean?" I asked. I wondered what he meant about being a good role model for a leader, considering he wasn't even the perfect citizen, really. I technically didn't really know how well of a leader he was in terms of integrity. Then again, I hadn't even been around the full pack once.

"He was just like how Preston is going to be," he insulted and then went to sit on his desk chair with his head in his hands. I knew what he meant by this. Aside from his orders here and there, Preston was quick to pick up his slack like an overly eager Beta. Personally, something felt wrong about Preston so I doubted the boy in Ryder's picture was that immediately shady.

"Wait, what do you mean 'going to be'?" I asked him. He shrugged.

"The only thing I hate more than being an alpha is the thought of Preston taking it over," he expressed and I knew I wouldn't be able to tell anyone that. "He's my best friend, but...he's greedy."

"Then why would you pass down your title?" I asked him urgently. "Can you even do that?"

"I don't know," he said, staring off into the flooring as if meaning something else. "All I know is that I don't want to be Alpha anymore. Not like this. And Preston knows that too. If he ever challenges me, I might let him win."

I went over and sat on his lap. Though seemingly reluctant, his arm felt limp around my waist for his hand to fall on my thigh in case I would threaten to slide off. I wrapped my arms around his neck and put my forehead on his. I wanted to know exactly what he was thinking—why he hated being Alpha so much when once he said that maybe there was a reason for his position; what made him put his brother in the same category as Preston; where his brother even was.

"I don't want you to feel sorry for me," he whispered. I pulled away.

"I don't," I assured a pull of guilt, but I didn't know why because I didn't think I felt bad for him; just curious.

"You do," he corrected while searching my eyes. "It's comforting. Not many people feel bad for me."

"I'm not one of them," I expressed and didn't feel remorse. At first, I had felt bad for Ryder who detested his life and fought with his dad and participated in illegal things for pleasure, but now I couldn't. I understood Ryder too well...or I thought I did. "You have nothing for me to feel bad over."

"Nothing at all?" he asked in disbelief. I shook my head.

"Nothing."

For a moment, he looked at me like he was appreciative, but then it changed into a form of rage or concern. He moved me off of his lap and stood up.

"Wh—"

"I'll be back in a while," he expressed.

"Where are you going?" I questioned.

"It doesn't matter," he shut down. Before I could even protest, he was typing on his phone before holding it up to his ear. His other hand dug into his pocket and presented me with his keys. "You can either stay and wait for me, or drive my car home. I just...I can't do this right now."

I had to contain the hurt and maybe anger as best as I could by pressing my lips together. But before he could watch me be in misery from his departure, he turned and answered the phone after I heard a muffled "Ryder?"

"Is Brett with you?" he was blunt and unfamiliar with the name.

"No, but we were going to go to the café..." the boy trailed off, meaning for Ryder to fill in the blanks. Or maybe not, because then he started to apologize. "I'm sorry. I know Preston said for me to stay away from Rose, but I can't. I'm sorry. But if—"

"Pres doesn't know what he's talking about," Ryder growled and then shot me a look. "Look, I'm gonna meet you and Brett at the café—I don't care if Maya is there, but we'll hold out on Rose, okay."

By then, he was striding out of the room.