Did you know that when you die, you have 7-10 minutes of brain activity left? You literally relive your whole life. I found this fact and I can't stop thinking about it. Because how can we actually tell if what we're living through right now is life or the 7-10 minutes of reliving?

Anyway.

Enjoy! :)

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(Warning: I'm crying writing this chapter)

The days have begun to blur together for Race, Antonio, Ermal, and all the others who are stuck in this prison camp together. The days are long in this time of the year, and nothing new happens each day. It's just the same old stuff. Morale is low. If there even is morale left.

They all know that they aren't getting out of here before the war ends.

So when will they get out? When will the war end?

...Will they get out?

In all honesty, they have no clue if the war is going in favor of the Allied Powers or in favor of the Axis Powers. Not that the guards of this place will ever tell them. Not that they will ever really know unless they make it out of here, or unless some unexpected miracle happens.

If only they could have a miracle of some kind.

Race's stomach growls as he stands in line to get his food for the day. He hasn't had proper nourishment in weeks. True, he'll take what he can get, but it still isn't much. Once the officer finishes filling up his tray, he begins walking away numbly, so, so tired.

"Did you get more than the rest of us?" one soldier of the regiment accuses Race.

Race's eyebrows knot in confusion. "...No...?" What is this guy's problem? Everyone knows that a German guard gives them the same amount of food each day, and that there aren't any favorites.

The soldier--Race can't remember his name right now--glares at him. "You think since you're older than us you can get treated better?"

Race shakes his head. "No, not at all." He doesn't know what's going on.

But then he looks at the other guy's eyes. Hungry and wild. He's not in his right mind. Which makes him unreasonable. Which means that it's probably best if Race just walks away.

Unfortunately, Antonio hurries over to them, making this conversation drag on longer. "What's going on?"

"It's nothing," Race puts in quickly, but the other guy won't have it, and starts yelling at Race. Race hears things that he will never repeat.

Antonio sets down his tray, ready to fight this guy.

"Antonio, bambino, you don't have to do this," Race pleads.

"He can't just talk to people like that!" Antonio argues angrily.

"I know, but we don't want-"

Suddenly, a guard approaches them.

"-unwanted attention." Race curses under his breath. Now this has escalated enough to catch the attention of a guard. All they need to do to make sure that no one gets hurt is if they all back away slowly.

But once again, his antagonizer won't have it, and advances on Antonio, about to lunge.

"I will shoot!" the guard shouts.

"Please, Antonio, it isn't worth it," Race begs.

But the guy lunges at Antonio, grabbing the back of his coat in his fists, grappling with him. They turn so Antonio's back is facing the guard, the guard who is about to shoot.

"ANTONIO, NO!" Race doesn't even think. As the trigger is pulled, he dashes in front of his brother, and feels the bullet cut through his abdomen. He falls to the ground.

Once the two heard the gunshot, they split apart and whirl around. Antonio drops to the ground beside Race in horror.

"Fratello..." Antonio breathes out. "No."

Race coughs, then brings his hand up to Antonio's face. "Bambino."

"Ermal!" Antonio shouts. "Anyone! Aiuta! Help!"

Ermal comes running over, and gasps when they see Race. They drop on the other side of Race. "Mio amico..." They blink back tears. "Soppravviverai. Devi sopravvivere." 

You are going to survive. You need to survive.

"Sei soppravvissuto," Ermal adds desparately. You are a survivor.

Race has survived many things.

Except ... he's not sure that this is going to be one of them.

The guy who caused this whole mess had ran away, and the only thing keeping Antonio from chasing after him is that these may be the last few minutes he spends with his brother.

Race smiles weakly at them. "At least I get to see you both, before..."

"Don't say that!" Antonio sobs. "You will survive! Just like Ermal said! You have to! You need to get out of this camp! You need to make it home! You need to reunite with Jack and David and Mush and Spot! You have to stay with me! Stay with me and Ermal! You can't go!" His voice breaks. "You can't go."

"I'm sorry, bambino," Race says, tears in his eyes, "I don't think I can."

Antonio cries in anguish.

Ermal grabs Race's hand and squeezes tightly. "Grazie per essere mio migliore amico."

Thank you for being my best friend.

Race closes his eyes and squeezes back. "E grazie per essere il mio."

He opens his eyes and looks up at the sky. How he would have loved to see the stars one last time. Or a clear blue sky. Or a sunset at Manhattan. But he has this cold, gray, November late afternoon sky instead.

But the people he's with? Antonio and Ermal? He wouldn't exchange them for anyone.

He would love to see his other family again, his friends again. But he can see them clearly in his mind, in his memories. And that's all he needs.

He holds Antonio's hand with his left, Ermal's with his right. He coughs, gasping for air. He knows that a bullet to a stomach means he has several minutes before he dies, that if it had hit his heart he would be gone by now, but he can feel his time running up.

"I love you both," Race murmurs. "Thank you for always being there for me."

"And we always will be," Antonio sobs. "Please, stay with me. Ed."

Race closes his eyes. "It's alright, bambino. It will all be alright."

"No it won't!" Antonio cries.

"You'll have me in your memories, right? Both of you. And that's how I'll live on. Through all your memories."

"Arrivederci, amico mio," Ermal murmurs.

"I love you, fratello," Antonio says, so full of emotion.

"And I you, bambino." Race focuses on both their faces, and smiles. "Until we meet again ... farewell." He closes his eyes.

He takes one last inhale, one last exhale. As his last breath leaves his body, his mind goes blank.

Ed "Racetrack" Higgins is gone.

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And yet, while science has not yet discovered this, this remains true: the brain remains active for 7-10 minutes after death. And so, in those 7-10 minutes, the person relives all their memories before their mind is gone from this world.

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Ed is a young kid, curious about the world around him. He lives in a small house in Brooklyn. His parents are never really around; it's his grandparents who raise him. He likes them better anyways. Nonna sings him ninna nannas, Nonno tells him stories from his childhood from long ago.

Ed is a small boy, eyes always wide, eyes always watching. And so this is how he spends his early years of life.

When Ed is ten, something changes. He lives with his grandparents all the time; his parents are out of the picture. He is officially an orphan. And now he has a baby brother: Antonio Conan Higgins; a first name for his Italian heritage from his mother's side, a second name for his Irish heritage from his father's side. Ed's grandparents want him to go to school. Ed, though, doesn't want to go to school.

One day, he decides to skip school. He wanders around Brooklyn. He stumbles upon a wonderful-looking place called Sheepshead Races. He walks inside, curious. He is delighted to find it's horse racing. This is new, this is exciting. He watches from afar, entranced by it all. He decides right then and there that when he's older he's going to bet on horses here, just like the adults. When the races are over, he sees a boy, not too far away from him. A boy around his age. Ed is curious, but knows that he needs to get home soon if he is going to convince his grandparents that he had been at school the whole time. He thinks nothing of it.

Ed is eleven, and has started selling the evening papers for the New York World. He feels proud now that he can help support his family. His agreement with his grandparents, however, is that he goes to school during the morning and afternoon, and then sells the papers. For now, he agrees.

He learns that the boy he saw outside Sheepshead was also a newsie, selling papers. They've talked a little, but not too much.

Ed is twelve, and the thing he loves most is going to Sheepshead. He goes in the direction of school in the morning, but instead of heading to school, he instead goes to the circulation center, collects his papers, then heads to Sheepshead to sell papers ... and to gamble.

By thirteen, Ed is a proud newsie. He even has a newsie nickname--Racetrack. He likes being called "Racetrack." It suits him. And even though he sells independently, he has a few friends now: Jack Kelly, Mush, Kid Blink, Crutchy, and the one and only Spot Conlon.

It's 1898. The Spanish-American War is going on. Racetrack is having the time of his life. He is selling so many newspapers. True, the price of the papers went up. But that's fine. He's selling so many papers anyway.

It's summer of 1899. The newsies of Long Island go on strike. Racetrack and Spot--the leaders of the Brooklyn newsies--are enthusiastic about this strike. So is Manhattan. Together, they go on strike.

On July 24th, 1899, they hold a rally at Irving Hall. 2,000 newsies inside the building, 3,000 newsies outside.

Racetrack gives a speech. The best speech he has ever given, he is sure. He hears people giving him high praise. He puffs out his chest with pride. His little brother Antonio is here too. Racetrack loves little Antonio. If it weren't for Antonio, Race would be living in the lodging house full time. He keeps his brother close to him, looking out for him, a near motherly fondness in his eyes.

Kid Blink won the floral horseshoe. Racetrack is furious. It takes a long time for him to let go of this grudge.

It's not even a few days later when Kid Blink betrays the newsies. Race feels like he's being stabbed through the heart. How dare Kid Blink betray him, betray all of them! But they don't need Kid Blink, nor Dave Simmons. They don't need strike leaders who betray their strike.

The strike carries on until August 1st, when The World compromises with them. Everyone is overjoyed. They did it.

August 2nd, the newsies' union is disbanded. August 2nd, Spot says that he wants to say something to Race.

They take a walk along the Brooklyn docks at sunset.

They've been here plenty times before, but this time, Race feels something different in the air.

Spot kicks his feet, and almost looks bashful. Race has never seen him like this before.

"We've been friends for some time, Race," Spot starts, still refusing to meet Race's eyes. "And I enjoy spending time with you. A lot. And when you're not around ... I miss you. It's like ... I want to spend time with you, and only you."

Race says nothing, heart beating fast. He has felt the same way.

Spot takes a deep breath. "I like you, Race." He finally meets Race's eyes. "In a way that I shouldn't."

Race's heart stops. He knows exactly which way Spot meant. It's the same way he feels for Spot.

"And I know this means you probably don't want to see me again," Spot puts in quickly. "Or that maybe you-"

Race puts a finger to Spot's lips. Spot stops moving.

"I like you in a way I shouldn't too," Race murmurs. Spot's eyes widen with surprise. Race removes his finger, unsure of what will happen next.

For a moment, neither does anything.

Until Spot boldly leans in for a kiss. They both close their eyes. It's sweet and gentle and so unsure, but there's no denying it. They're in love. Even if they aren't ready to use that word yet.

In December of 1899, everyone is gathered in the lodging house of Duane Street. Spot and Race, both sixteen for not too long, sit side by side.

Race keeps eyeing Mush and Kid Blink. He hasn't spoken to Kid Blink in a few months. Yet he pays attention when Kid Blink gives a toast.

"Here's a toast to all of us newsies gathered here tonight, who have made the most of this year in the best way they can, and will make the most of any!"

And, just as always, Kid Blink has a way with words. And this is why he won the floral horseshoe back in the summer.

Race knows he has to make it up to him.

He's distracted when they bring out the pies. As is tradition, the newsies eat their pies before they eat their turkey.

He glances over at Kid Blink, and stares when Kid Blink fumbles around a little. Race realizes that Blink doesn't have any utensils for eating. Race looks down at his own plate, and sees the extra set next to him. So that's what happened.

He starts walking over to Kid Blink's part of the table. He over hears a part of Kid Blink and Mush's conversation. "We can share." "Nah, it's okay."

"It's not good to do that," Race stops Kid Blink from digging into his pie with his hands. "Not healthy."

Kid Blink looks up at him.

Race continues quickly. "Who knows how dirty those hands of yours are? That could be the bet of the ages."

"Thanks, Race."

"'Course. There was an extra one by my plate anyway." Race goes back to his seat, having nothing more to say. Spot smiles fondly at him. Race smiles fondly back. Together, they eat their pies.

Race and Spot are on the rooftop of the lodging house at midnight for New Year's Eve. The newsies inside are so loud that even up here they'll know instantly when midnight hits.

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!" echoes throughout the city.

Race and Spot kiss. Their first kiss of the new year, new decade, new century. This is going to be the best year of their lives.

Time passes on as it always does. New faces become newsies, while old faces leave.

When Race is eighteen, Antonio is eight, their grandparents pass away. It's hard on them both. They can't keep the house; and so their childhood home is sold and bought; not another thought devoted to them about it. Race and Antonio move into the Brooklyn newsies' lodging house. It will only be temporary. Spot, who kind of is in charge in here, makes sure they are welcomed warmly.

In 1905, Jack takes up a collection for Dutchy Johnson, a newsie who had just passed away. Race is struck by how passionate Jack is about this.

And the thing is, most newsies that Race knows have left. By this point in time, most of them have moved on, gotten new lives for themselves.

In 1907, Race and Spot have a fight that they can't come back from. Race wants to travel. By now they've moved out of the lodging house, but still live together. Spot wants them to stay here in Brooklyn. They go their separate ways. 

He wants to take Antonio with him, but Antonio refuses. Antonio claims he wants to stay in the lodging house for as long as he can. Race grants him that; and claims to come get him when he's ready to leave.

By 1908, Race is working with the Ringling Brothers. And it's the most fun he's had in years. He LOVES the trapeze.

One day, he shyly asks the tiger tamer how she does it. And so she tells him all about it, and soon he becomes kind of like her assistant in training.

He loves the circus. And so here he stays.

1913, Kid Blink passes away. Race is in utter shock. He shows up to the funeral. Looks at all the faces of people he used to know now grown up. It's 3 years after Crutchy passed away. Race couldn't believe that one either. And now that the newsies have had several years apart, it isn't the same as it used to be. And that pains him. Yet what can he do about it?

Race is surprised to see Jack Kelly in 1914. He's even more surprised when he sees Jack and David in the same place; remembering their bad fight. He's even more surprised when he reads Kid Blink's letter. Even more surprised when Jack says he wants to get the gang back together.

When they see Spot again ... Race forgets everything. He forgets their fight, forgets why they stopped seeing each other. Even when Spot greeted them by throwing a knife at them, Race can only feel awe for him, and remembers why he had loved him once ago.

When he sees Mush, he doesn't even think. He hugs him like he's his whole world.

And so they go on an adventure together. And it's so, so much fun. They make so many new friends along the way. And Race is the ultimate tiger tamer.

And then they all live together.

For four years, Race feels loved, happy, and blissful.

He'll never forget September 12, 1918 when he got drafted. Just like he'll never forget seeing his brother's drafting card. He is so, so scared. It's even worse when everyone else is drafted too.

And so they go off to Europe to fight in the war.

Race hates France. And so he walks to Italy. He has help from a wonderful person named Ermal. He reunites with his brother, which in itself is a miracle.

Together they fight at Vittorio Veneto, and all is going well until they end up in a prison camp.

Even though Race doesn't know it, it's his 35th birthday when he reunites with Jack Kelly and their other friends. And for a few days, all is well. Until they are separated because he's moved to a different prison camp.

He reunites with Ermal. He, Antonio, and Ermal spend their days together.

On November 9th, a solider of the 332nd Infantry Regiment is trying to pick a fight with Race. He desperately wants to avoid the fight. But Antonio comes to his rescue. But a guard sees them fighting. As the guard points his gun at the two fighting soldiers, Race jumps in front of them, saving Antonio from the bullet. He crumples to the ground.

The last thing he sees is Antonio's and Ermal's faces above him.

He closes his eyes, and falls asleep to never wake up.

And so ends the life of Ed "Racetrack" Higgins.

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I'm crying right now.

I'm still trying to figure out why I did this to myself.

Wow, was this hard to write.

But as you can see, I had an idea, and I did not stop writing.

It actually is a part of neuroscience that for 7-10 minutes after death there's still brain activity, and people (probably) see their life before them in those 7-10 minutes. So I wanted to play with that idea here.

(Except how do we know that we aren't in those 7-10 minutes right now?)

Would it be realistic if all of them survived World War One? No, no it would not. I'm sorry that it had to be Race. And while I don't want to move on, we'll have to move on.

Please, no homophobia, profanities, hate etc in the comment section at all times.

Best,

~Your Beloved Author (who sits here sadly as they finish writing this chapter, yet finds comfort in the fact that Race did have a good life with the people he loved)