Hellooooooo guyssss,

So, here I am with the first update of the week!!

I would like to extend my deepest gratitude and heartfelt thanks to each and every one of you for you precious support over all this time to me. Thank you for all your support and patience..

Word Count – 3.3K words. ( I actually was aiming for a longer update. I have more written but then as I got down to posting – I realised I wanted this part to stand out on its own.)

And I shall now let you all dive in without further delay..

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11. Maturity

In Her Room at the Hotel

Khushi's POV

Melted..

Something deep within the walls of my heart had simply, deeply and profoundly melted - when I'd heard Arnav confess that he had never indulged in romantic relationships because he was saving himself for his future wife. Because he felt like when he would commit romantically, he could never withhold any part of his from his partner be it emotions, mind, body and soul. That he would simply dive all in with all he had, holding back nothing at all. And his eyes had been shining with such conviction whilst he confessed the same – that it simply blew me away. Or rather just - Blew me apart. Blew all of my freaking sensibilities apart...

Why?

Because, all I could think off then is how he is such a sweetheart and how men like him just don't exist anymore!!Well, that's not new. Because, I'v thought the above before a numerous time in my head ever since meeting him, but this time around what was new was that these familiar thoughts were accompanied by a profound, deep, life-altering, frantic longing. A longing, so strong in its vibration within that shook every inch of my being. A longing - I could not ignore.Because it was something I had never felt for any man ever before.A longing, that stood right in my face – waiting for me to acknowledge it in all intense glory.A longing - that just had me thinking and feeling things like – Jeez. I want that from him. I want that for myself. I just want him for myself. I want all he has to share of himself. I want all his passion. I want all his emotions. And I want, his very soul. I want all of him – now and forever. I want to be his first. I want to be his last. I want be his one and only...

But then just as sudden as all of the above struck me, came in the lightening realisation off the context of Khushi Gills picture in his wallet. It seemed the only logical reasoning in my head then..and unfortunately...I was right..

Oh, how I hated to discover I was right...

I am sure I have made a complete fool of myself in front of Arnav – though! Surely, he thinks off me as nothing but a fool for suddenly reacting the way I did, because well, the change in my demeanour would surely have come across as rather sudden and absurd to him. But deep within, I knew the truth right, about what I had been feeling ? Which is why, to me, my reaction wasn't absurd at all. Sudden, yes. But not absurd. It was only natural. I am only human after a all.A human, with a heart. A heart that's begun to feel things with an intensity it has never felt before...for any freaking man....ever..

Which is why I couldn't stay...

I simply couldn't be around him post discovering what I had – all the whilst simultaneously processing the feelings my insides had bombarded me with minutes prior. I simply could not be around him. Atleast, not until I figured out a way to regain my thoughts and composure. Escaping him was the right thing to do, at least momentarily. I did not want him to get any further glances into my rising anxiety. Or gain insight into my discomfort. Or even catch a glimpse into the surprising stab of gut-wrenching pain gnawing at my soul at the very thought of his almost arranged matrimony alliance with Khushi Gill in his time...

Yes, he hadn't met her yet. He did not even say that that he had agreed to. Or that he was going to.But he had not denied it, either. He had also not answered my question from days ago as well – whether he would seek her out when he gets back – perhaps because he always knew his family was keen on his matrimonial alliance with her. I didn't know.He obviously knew all along that when he would go back, his family would urge him to meet her... I didn't know.

Why her, dammit? Why her???

Why did it have to be her??????

Khushi Gill.

The woman with my first name.The woman with my face.The woman with my eyes. The woman with the same birth date as mine – leaving the year apart.

Dammit her...

Godammit her....

Surely , fate is out there having a great laugh on my accord right now. As if having fallen for a man from another century, wasn't complicated enough, right when I was in the middle experiencing a life altering moment within – I discover that he might actually end up marrying the woman with my face when he gets back to his time...

How was I to react????? How am I to react??

And not to forget – Arnav wishes to save himself for his future wife, which translates into the bit that I could never have him but Khushi Gill – could. She has an opportunity to have the man I want all for myself – because well - she was lucky enough to be born in the same era and time as him. Lucky enough, for his family to want her – as their beloved son's wife. Dammit!!!! Khushi Gill could be his one and only.Not me.Never me. It could never be me.We just share the same face. That's all.Perhaps, that is why Arnav's just been the way he has been around me all this while??? A part of my heart does not agree, but a part off my mind suggests – that perhaps subconsciously, at least, he's been the way he has been because I look like the woman he's been arranged to marry in his time. Has it really all been the way it has been in between of us - only because I look like her?????

I don't know...

I don't know anything for now. All I know is that I need to get myself under a super hot shower and find a way to regain my composure and act maturely about this...

I do just that. The water begins to work its magic. I sit down in the shower cabinet and then my thoughts begin to regain calm and composure – reminding me – that I cannot be absurd about this context around - Arnav. Nor can I hold it against him...

Why?

Because...

Case in point and review. NONE OF THIS – is Arnav's fault. Well, neither is it mine. But,he doesn't even have an idea about my feelings.He surely, is not expecting it. Hell, I was not expecting it. Surely, it would be the least of his expectations. Then, practically, there is no point in being weird about it – around him for no fault of his. I did not wish to add to his list of worries. The fact that everything within my being simply felt altered due to him – was my problem to deal with. Not his at all. Yes, perhaps he could have told me about this Khushi Gill context prior...but I wonder if it would have prevented me from falling for him?

Would it have?

Not Really...

Cmon Khushi. You can do this.You can be mature about this. Just be normal.Be you. You can't be selfish. This is not about your discomfort .This is not the time to think about your - feelings or its devasting repercussions after. Arnav is in a bigger soup having time travelled to a time where he has no one to bank upon but you and your family....

I sigh...

I know I am his only hope in our times. His only helping hand. His only friend. I had to do the right thing. The mature thing. Both of which would be to continue being the way I have been around him , without ever bothering him with the knowledge of my feelings. Perhaps, my mind suggests - I just need to find a way to keep a check on these feelings? That's all....it was that simple.

I bite back an ironical chuckle. Why? Because, even though the minds come up with that's all – it was that simple – so easily - my heart instantly presented its argument with great conviction - Oh my Darling, there is nothing simple about that bit at all..

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Meanwhile next door – In His Room

Arnav's POV

I can't sleep. I am trying to. But I am failing. I have been twisting and turning, constantly- which has been the usual ever since I have landed in this time. Every night, I simply read, read and read until sleep takes over due to exhaustion. In the beginning, Khushi would lend me her ipad to read at night(after teaching me all the ways to go about it) – and well then – I'v had my phone for a while, for help on the same. Khushi is obviously aware that I have trouble falling asleep in this time of the furture- given that I have talked about it to her...

But what she doesn't know is that my inability to sleep in this moment - is not because of the usual worry about my time travel situation or the inability to have discovered any personal insight from this future uptil now or thoughts off - if I would ever be able to get back to my time and family....

Right now, all this worry, this entire inability to sleep angle is - because of her. Because she left the way she did thirty five minutes ago.Because she did not open the door to her room when I knocked on it fifteen minutes after her departure to check on her. Because she did not pick up the phone call I made to her – ten minutes ago -leaving me with deep shades of restlessness -I can't seem to comprehend clearly.

Why am I so restless????

I pick up my phone again as the idea of texting her strikes my mind. I have never texted her. Because, well, she's always been by my side until we'v bid each other a cordial heartwarming goodnight....

Perhaps, it's time for my first text to Khushi. I type, asking the first thing out on my mind.

Me : Khushi, are you okay?

Thankfully, my phone beeps with her reply within a minute.

Her : Yes, I am okay, Arnav.I was just about to text you.

A part of me leaps in relief. All that crazy restlessness begins to ease.

Me : I am glad to hear you say that you are okay, Khushi. I am also glad to hear you say that were going to text me.

Her : I was going to text, to apologize for missing your call.Please know, it was not because I did not want to receive it. It was because I was preoccupied.

With what?? I can't help but wonder.Did she not hear the knocks on her doors?

Me : I even knocked on your door to check on you.You did not open which just led me to wonder if you refused to receive my call because you simply did not want to receive it.

Her :Did you knock? I am sorry. I did not hear it as I was in the shower.

Me : Oh.Alright.

Her : Why aren't you asleep?yet?

Me : I couldn't sleep.

Her : Perhaps, reading will help. It helps you every night doesn't it. It easies you in your usual worries, which I am sure have your mind preoccupied right now as well. Just Read....

I type honestly.

Me : My inability to sleep right now isn't about my usual worries..Khushi.

Her : oh really? Then what is it about?

Me : You. It's about you. I don't think I will be able to get any sleep, without having seen for myself that you are really okay. When you left the way you did, it felt like you were really disturbed. As if something was royally wrong. What is wrong?

Her : Nothing is wrong. And I am okay, Arnav. Trust me.

Me: I know something was wrong. Something is wrong. Why won't you tell me? just what was that about? Why did you just suddenly leave the way you did?And please don't you suggest again that nothing was wrong. You were clearly disturbed about something. Do not doubt my intelligence to presume otherwise.

My phone lights up with the reply ten seconds later..

Her : Well, I was not disturbed. Perhaps – I was just startled at the discovery off the real context of - Khushi Gill's picture in your wallet. You should have told me – prior – Arnav. Why didn't you?

I groan within, unable to understand why this was about Khushi Gill again. Why did Khushi have to bring her up all the time?

Me : I apologize. It pains me greatly to know that you were startled on an error on my account.Perhaps, I should have told you prior. I didn't because – well I honestly don't know why I did not tell you prior..really.That is the absolute truth. Even as I write this to you, I don't know why I did not tell you prior...

Her : Okay. I understand. No worries, okay. You don't need to apologize, Arnav.Good night,k? See you tomorrow morning at breakfast. 8 am as we decided prior.

What??? Good night? Already? Is that what she is going to say?? When I am still drowning in worry for her. When I'd do anything to just get a glimpse of her???? When all a part of me wants to do is knock on her room door until she finally opens it/ or perhaps just knock the door down then she won't have the option to open it because I would have already opened it/or rather knocked it down....but I am restraining only because my mind reminds me to keep up with levels of maturity...

Unbelievable.

She wants to bid goodnight - when its taking a source of all my mature sensibilities to remind myself – that I cannot behave like an obstinate child wanting to just see once for myself if she really is okay.Heaven knows , I did not even know I could behave like an obstinate child given that I never acted like one even when I was a child...until this very point...when I find myself fighting the urge to just do so..

No Khushi. It is not going to be good night. Not just yet.

Me : Can we talk please? For a few more minutes..

Her : okay..

Me : Not on text, please. It's rather odd.

Her : You find texting , odd? Last I remember, you mentioned you find it quite fascinating. About how its so easy to get a message across. You text bhai all the time!!!!!

Me : No. I don't mean, texting is odd. What I mean is - it's indeed odd to keep texting you whilst we are right next to one another. Please open the door. I will come see you. I just need to see for myself that you really are okay.

Her : why? Don't you trust my word for it..?

Me : strangely enough, you know I trust your word always. But no, in this very moment, I don't. I don't trust your word for it. I can't seem to trust your word for it. I don't know why. It is what I feel..

I wait for her reply for a good two minutes. It does not come.Instead, I hear a knock on my door. I jump out of bed. It had to be Khushi...

I rush to open and as I come across the sight of her usual smiling self looking all relaxed – all my worry – all that incomprehensible restlessness finally ceases. Or Rather - Vanishes. Even my breathe, that had been caught up as a lump in my throat for the last so many minutes finally finds its release. Khushi really is okay. She is smiling. She is her usual smiling self.

THANK God.

Khushi grins mischievously – " See, I told you I was Okay.Right? You should have just trusted my word for it. That would have saved you a trip from your bed to open this door..."

I grin and sigh in monumental releif at the same time – " if I would have trusted your word for it, then I would have missed the chance to see it for myself right?? So I am glad I did not take your word for it, Khushi. And I most surely am basking in nothing but monumental relief over having to take this trip from my bed to open the door...to you....."

She chuckles. Quite joyfully at that...

AND suddenly it all feels different. It isn't as if I have not seen her chuckle before but it suddenly feels like as if the room just lit up around me with the sound of her chuckle. What's wrong with me???? How can a sound light up a room??????? Surely, some part of me seems to be malfunctioning to even think the same. Lights light up a room...not sounds. Sounds have an auditory affect not visual. And yet, I cannot deny that it most surely felt like the sound of her chuckle up lit up the room...

Khushi asks suddenly breaking my chain of thought- " so, given that you are not able to sleep, why don't we head for a stroll outside in the hotel gardens? Or perhaps indulge in some camomile tea in the 24×7 coffee shop? Or perhaps, we could take a few moments to gaze up at those stars that you adore and you can tell me all about your astronomical interests..."

I grin at that shades of joy surely reflecting all over my face – " I would like that most definitely...Khushi..."

She smiled this one being straight from her heart – " I knew you would...come on then...let's go..."

I step out grinning as I admit – " you have no idea what it took off me to fight the urge to knock your door down in order to get you to open it. I was that worried about you..."

She looks at me puzzled- " really? You wanted to knock down my door?"

I nodded – ' yes, indeed..."

She asks raising her brow mischievously – " why didn't you? Then? Not that I wanted you to knock down the door. Just asking because I am curious..."

I confess sheepishly – " I did not act on it because I reminded myself that it is important to conduct myself with maturity. Because I am a mature adult. Surely, I could not conduct myself like an obstinate child would..."

She gazed at me amused- " Ahh. The reminder of conducting oneself with maturity...is ever so important ....of course..." and before I could even comprehend that raw vulnerable look in her eye that followed the above statement, she masked it.

What was that?

She'd looked down at her feet, before looking up a second later – with the usual mischievous glint back in her eye again –"just curious, do you even know how to act like an obstinate child??"

My eyes widen – " why would you ask me that??"

Khushi chuckled – " because, I just cannot imagine you ever do so. I bet you do not even know how to act like an obstinate child. Infact, I am sure you never even acted out like one when you were a child..."

My eyes widen even more at that – " how do you know that???"

She smiles – " I am right? About that, aren't I??"

Did I ever mention – I really like it when her smile reaches her eyes and more so when its in the middle of our conversations.

I smile – " Well, you know you are right.Like I mentioned before – it's extraordinary how you have come to read me so effortlessly. I surely don't remember ever acting out like an obstinate child when I was a child.The possibility off knocking your door down...was my first ever epiphany in the context... "

She grins – " Really? Your first ever epiphany in the context??ever?????"

I grin and nod.We chuckle again. And we are back to sharing our usual, heartwarming chatter, as we step into the elevator. And despite the fact that I was still the lost time traveller trapped in this future – deep within - something just felt right. Now that, Khushi was by my side back to her usual chirpy self - it all simply felt - just extraordinarily right. I am mature enough to understand, that this surely implies something. It means something. Doesn't it?

It's got to mean something...

But - what does it really mean? – is the bit that I'd just have to find a way to comprehend.

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. TADA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HOWWZAAAT GUYS?

Hope you all enjoyed reading this update. I loved writing and compiling it so very much!!Let me know what you all think!

Next Update : As mentioned in the beginning, this part was planned as a part of a longer update(which I have already written) until I decided to post this part as is – on its own. Which means – there will be another 4k word update - Tomorrow Night

Thanks so much guys.

Much Love * Infinite Gratitude

Prachi