Professor Dumbledore had returned to the school and resumed charge as the Headmaster of Hogwarts. He came to the Hospital Wing as well to check up on the students who had gotten hurt in the attack at the Ministry, allowing them to go home early.

I was mechanically going through everything that was happening around me, looking after Ginny and Ron who had just recovered. Harry was in a no different state than mine as he too was very stricken with grief.

I wanted to give the poor boy a tight hug but what could I say that would be of assurance to him? 

Nothing.

And so I chose to speak nothing at all, putting up with everything robotically until I would finally reach home. I just wanted to go to my room, lock the door, and stay inside until the chaos inside me reached some calm.

I could still not believe that Sirius was dead. So I just pushed it into a corner of my mind, shutting everything out.

I couldn't live in denial forever, I knew that very well, but just for the time being when so much was happening around me, I could shut it all out.

It would hurt far worse when I would finally allow all that sorrow to seep in but at least I wouldn't be in the school where everyone would be shocked at why I was reacting like that. But then I would be at home and even though my family, especially Mum, would get worried for me, at least it would not cause as much havoc as it could if I gave up right now.

Focusing only on that thought, I kept myself going. For my siblings' sake, for my family's sake, for everyone's sake but my own...

Ginny had been sticking close to me ever since that small outburst in which I had admitted that I had had a vision about Sirius' death. I don't know if she felt sorry or if she was genuinely worried for me but so far, she wasn't avoiding me like the plague.

If only things hadn't been that awful, I would have been happy to see her starting to accept me.

We were finally sent back to the burrow. Dumbledore had arranged the thestral carriages for us that transported us quite quickly.

It was said only those people could see thestrals who had seen death. Personally, I hadn't seen anyone's death but I had had visions so perhaps that also counted in seeing death.

Ever since the time I had envisioned Cedric Diggory's death through my ability to glimpse into the future, I was able to see those magnificent winged creatures pulling our carriages. 

By the time we got home, Mum engulfed the three of us in a tight hug. She had been extremely worried for Ron and Ginny who were involved in the battle at the Ministry so I took the chance and slipped away to go to my room.

I needed some time to myself. And I had to be away from them all to deal with the mess that my heart and soul were caught up in. 

I knew the twins would eventually find me and try to figure out ways to cheer me up but for as long as I was alone, I wanted to mourn.

***

Days, weeks, months, was I really keeping track of time?

Sometimes it felt as if a long time had passed since that dreadful day that I had had a vision of Sirius getting swallowed by that veil. And sometimes it felt as if it was just yesterday and all the sorrow and pain was fresh.

I really wasn't keeping track of anything.

A lot happened though in all the time that was passing insignificantly for me. Fleur came to stay with us at the Burrow, Fred and George were always around, Ginny too spent time with me, Percy had also visited often and Mum and Dad were very worried for me. 

But for some reason, life had just lost its luster. I went about every single day like a robot executing the necessary tasks and not caring about the rest.

I had no idea how long I would stay in that state but it didn't seem like it would come to an end anytime soon.

In my defense, I was trying to force out the pain. But in doing so, I was hurting myself and the people around me even more.

I knew that.

I just didn't know how to overcome it.

I was in the living room, doing nothing in particular when the voices that I usually kept tuned out began to get somewhat clearer. It seemed as if Harry had come to stay at the Burrow too, perhaps the next term at Hogwarts would be starting soon.

The voices faded again as I lost focus but shortly after, I started to hear them again as they were sitting not far off from me.

"Harry, you're not the only one who's completely distraught from Sirius' death," Hermione remarked, "all of us are as sad as you are."

"Or perhaps even worse than you," the twins sounded next.

"What do you mean?" Harry asked.

I was staring ahead of me, absentmindedly listening to their conversation.

"Look at her, she doesn't even speak to us now," George mumbled.

Oh... So they were talking about me. Of course...

"We have tried our very best to make her feel better but it's not working."

Nothing would work so well now, a voice in my heart spoke up, at times life becomes completely dull and empty.

And after Sirius... Nothing has been the same.

"We shouldn't talk in front of her," Hermione's low voice drifted towards me.

"She's not listening," Ron added, "she's been in a state of denial. Really weird actually. I don't get why..."

My thoughts were fluctuating from their words to my memories. And despite hearing all they were talking about, Ron was right; I wasn't actually listening.

"We have a guess why though," the twins spoke up, "Kat and Sirius were close. At times we suspected whether they knew each other longer than we did. We know it's impossible, Hermione, he was in Azkaban for 12 years before but still..."

"I still don't understand," Harry mumbled in confusion.

Understand...? Neither do I. He had finally escaped Azkaban after being punished for years for a crime he didn't even commit... And just when he was about to have his freedom back, about to prove that he was innocent and not a follower of the Dark Lord, that mysterious veil swallowed him.

He was no more... The daring Sirius Orion Black had dissolved like figments of dust.

"We really hope she isn't listening right now but had Sirius lived any longer, we wouldn't be surprised if Harry got a godmother."

"Bloody Hell!"

"Not funny, Fred, George. I hate your jokes."

"That's not a joke, Hermione."

"We walked in on them twice."

"Almost. Unfortunately, we were always a few minutes early and never got to see what could have happened if we didn't interrupt."

"No way..."

"Yes, Harry, we're not lying."

A dreadful silence engulfed the room after that.

"Katerina," I felt a hand close onto my shoulder and looked up to see Harry.

He was such an absolute likeness of James and those eyes were so exactly like Lily's. Sixteen-year-old Harry James Potter was a striking image of James when I first saw him. 

"How have you been? I mean how are you?" He stuttered as he asked.

"Dreadful," I replied, no other word coming to mind just then.

And I looked every bit dreadful too with my red sleep-deprived eyes and hoarse voice.

"Did you... Did you know Sirius longer than we did?" Hermione asked cautiously, not wanting to say anything that could trigger me, "were you good friends?"

I kept silent, unable to decide if I should tell them or not.

"Look, we shouldn't be talking to her about this," she turned back to face the others.

"Yeah, you shouldn't," I felt thin hands on my shoulders again and looked up to see Ginny.

She had changed a lot and hers was the face I saw most when I wasn't lost in my memories. She spent most of her time with me, trying to get me to talk by having long one-side conversations to which I absently nodded or acknowledged by one-word replies. She was the one who often forced me to come to the table for dinner which I did because I didn't want Mum and Dad to get even more anxious due to me.

I never said anything to her while she talked, brushed my hair, or took me for walks in the garden. In her own way, she was trying to make up for all the time and affection lost between us by meaning to be helpful and kind to me. Almost like a sister...

And I could see she was trying hard to make amends so I also tried not to let her get disappointed with her efforts.

"Do you want to go for a walk, Kat?" She asked so I silently stood up and took her offered hand.

The rest of them stayed behind as Ginny took me out for a walk in the garden, their voices fading into the background again as we left the room.

***