It's never easy to lose a loved one.

And even though things had been quite complicated between me and Sirius with the whole time travel incident in my fourth year and the memory charm incident in my fifth, this year we had finally started afresh as friends.

This year, I had some assurance that things would be better, that Sirius would finally be declared innocent and that he would be able to live his life like any other wizard. But before any of that could happen, his recklessness became the end of him, just like I feared it would.

If only he hadn't gone to the Ministry with the Order, if only Bellatrix hadn't stunned him, if only someone else had been able to save him...

But what's the use of dwelling in what-ifs? 

It can't change what has happened now.

I can only imagine how terrible Harry must be feeling at the moment. He could be blaming himself for getting tricked by the Dark Lord and I know how awful that feeling is; knowing that you are in some way responsible for whatever occurred.

That you could have done something to stop it but weren't able to. The helplessness and guilt that came along with it was unbearable.

It was the same feeling I had whenever I saw those terrible visions.

And the last vision I had had was still playing on repeat, making my head hurt.

Sirius meant a lot to me but I couldn't share that with anyone other than Moony. No one else knew about the time travel, not even the twins. It made me feel sick just thinking about how I would face the others and pretend as if everything would be okay soon.

No one other than Moony would be able to understand why I was so distraught by Siri's death... What would I do?

At that moment, I just didn't want to leave the Room of Requirement. 

Ever.

"Kat..."

I heard a voice calling me and though I didn't bother looking up earlier, when a hand gently shook me by the shoulder, I decided to see who it was.

Only Moony would know the exact details to recreate the Marauders' Lair in the Room of Requirement but he wasn't at Hogwarts. So who else could have come there behind me?

I had been resting my head on my knees as the tears were falling uncontrollably. So before seeing who was there in front of me, I wiped my eyes and then looked up.

Soft grey eyes and a flash of platinum blonde hair was the only thing I could see before everything got clouded by the tears again.

The only person I know who had grey eyes and blonde hair was... Malfoy?

But why would he come following me to the Room of Requirement? Why would he even care?

I have never been anything but horrible to him but for some reason, he always finds me each time when I am at my lowest.

"I don't know what to say to you and I certainly don't want to make you feel worse," I caught his voice and it seemed as if he had been saying something before that too but I couldn't hear due to the shock, "but please... Don't hurt yourself. Don't blame yourself for this..."

My head and my heart were both a mess and I certainly didn't know if he was there or merely a confusing hallucination. So I didn't say anything to him, perhaps I thought he would vanish if I ignored him for long enough.

Besides, everything was already quite muddled up.

"Everyone is looking for you," he spoke up again, and surprisingly, he was being gentle, "You should go to the hospital wing."

"Don't tell me what to do..." I remarked weakly, having no strength left in me to snap back at him.

There was a while of silence but before all my past memories could take hold of me again, Malfoy's voice shattered that.

"Can you at least tell me what happened to you? Why are you hiding away from everyone and that too in this room?"

I don't want to tell him anything. Besides, why is he even here? 

"Why are you... Crying?"

I took in a deep breath, wiping the tears away a bit roughly than earlier so that I could see him clearly. He was sitting beside me and his eyes were full of concern, an expression that I don't think I have seen in those cold irises before.

I don't know if it was that look or the overall confusion of everything that I didn't tell him off for asking that.

"I... I lost someone I cared for very deeply," the words came out of me in a hush, almost as if I was scared of voicing them out loud.

"I'm sorry, I know this apology won't make things better but still..." His eyes didn't hold the usual look of contempt, instead, it was a very sympathetic look that made me think perhaps he could relate to my situation. He had paused for a while but then he asked, "Were you really close to that person?"

"Yeah..." I buried my face in my hands, finding an odd sort of comfort in talking to him even though it was quite absurd altogether.

"I see."

He sounded just as sad as I felt and even though Sirius and his memories were clouding my senses, I couldn't help but ask, "Did you lose someone too?"

He didn't reply immediately but after a slight pause, he spoke up, "Yes. It was a long time ago though."

"Oh..."

"But I think that losing someone and having the confirmation that they are not going to return isn't as bad as it seems," he continued out of his own accord and though his words struck me as strange, I listened nevertheless. "At least then you know they are in a better place. But losing someone and seeing them every day, bearing their indifference and watching that hope of their return shatter continuously is much worse."

His words didn't make much sense to me but the emotion in his voice indicated that those words meant a lot to him. Why, I don't know. And why was he saying all that to me, that didn't make sense either.

The silence after that was starting to get heavy. I didn't ask him further because I knew it was far too personal and he did the same, just sitting there in silence.

It was all too much to take in. Sirius' death still felt like a lie and now there was Malfoy, trying to offer silent comfort. The most shocking aspect was that I didn't mind his presence at the moment.

It felt natural. As if it was quite probable that in my moments of sorrow, he would be there offering solace.

"Why do you always find me when I am going through something terrible?" I broke that silence at last.

He stiffened as if the answer to that question was something he couldn't tell me.

"And I don't know why but sometimes it feels like you care when I get hurt or when I am in trouble... Why?"

He didn't reply but when I nudged him slightly, he sighed, "It's an obligation."

Obligation? 

"A what?" I asked, watching his eyes flicker with an unfathomable expression.

"I have to make sure that you are alright."

"I'm alive if that's what you meant by alright," my words were bitter as I replied. "And I'm not planning to hurt myself so you can leave now."

"I know you won't hurt yourself," his voice was a low whisper. "And it's not the first time you lost someone you cared for."

Wait what...? Out of everything that has fallen on me in that short span of a day, I certainly didn't expect to hear that from him.

I couldn't believe it. His eyes stared back at me firmly but without hate, pity, or sarcasm. For the first time, it felt as if Draco was no longer hiding behind his Slytherin Prince facade.

But his words didn't make any sense.

"What do you mean I have lost people before? You don't know me," I remarked.

He shook his head as he let out a soft sigh, "I know you. My mother knows you too from long before you came to stay with the Weasleys. But we just don't show it anymore. Like I told you before, we've gotten accustomed to losing the people we love and getting along with our lives."

His words were only confusing me at the moment. "What the hell do you mean by that?"

He dropped his gaze to the floor, "Nothing. Absolutely nothing."

An awkward silence engulfed us and I couldn't help but think about everything he had said. It had all gotten muddled up in my head as I was already shocked by the vision and then finding out that it had come true.

"Don't think too much about it," he remarked, offering me his hand as he stood up. I paused but then took his hand as he helped me up to my feet, "your siblings are getting worried for you. You should be with them right now."

I wanted to ask him so much but somehow I couldn't find the right words. Perhaps it wasn't the right time and I wasn't in the right state either.

He accompanied me to the Hospital Wing and on the way, I asked, "Why are you being nice to me?"

He gave me a vague reply that only confused me further, "I'm just fulfilling my duty."

"I don't remember assigning any of the prefects such duties."

He shook his head, "some duties don't have to be assigned by the Headgirl. It's an obligation for me to keep you safe and I am just fulfilling that."

We had reached and right at the entrance of the infirmary, he stepped back. 

"Promise me one thing and I will leave," his voice was urgent and the look in his eyes worried me, "Promise me that no matter what happens, you will not take out your frustration on yourself. Please."

I simply looked at him, not knowing what to say in reply. But before I could reply, Ginny came out of the infirmary.

"Kat, where have you been?" Ginny's voice caught me by alarm and I turned to see her coming toward me, limping as her ankle was hurt.

Instinctively, I reached out to support her and by the time I looked back, Draco had vanished.

It was almost as if he hadn't even been there in the first place.

His words were still ringing in my head as I went with Ginny. He had said it was his obligation to look out for me but why?

Somewhere deep down, I knew the answer. But I didn't want to think in that direction yet.

***