We went out riding every day of that first week off. Tairia came every time, and Lady Clairia joined us here and there. The knights rotated through coming along.

I was getting quite good at riding, and was actually looking forward to it on the morning Tannix told me there had been a change of plans. After breakfast, we walked down to the port with Acen and met the rest of the men aboard the Thief Queen.

Stepping onto the little ship was quite different from the enormous warship I had been on most recently. I could see the Draulin Guardian not too far away, towering over most of the other ships in the port. The Thief Queen was quite a bit smaller, and a different design—it was a brigantine—but most importantly, it was ours. We had stolen it from Deorun, and afterwards, Ender and Kor were allowed to keep it.

The twins ushered us onto the ship proudly. They had clearly spent a lot of their recent free time working on it. Everything was neat and tidy, the wood and metal bits were polished, and the ropes were perfectly coiled. I quickly got out of the way once they started giving orders to the men. Without a real crew, everyone was drawn into helping as we pulled away from the dock.

Once we were clear of the port, we turned right to sail around the Northernmost tip of New Teltar Island. Sunlight sparkled off the waves and wind snapped in the sails. It was a beautiful day, and I tried to focus on that instead of the nerves that always fluttered in my stomach when I was on a ship. I knew we weren't going to sink, but still, the ocean was impossible to predict.

We kept the tall cliffs on our left as we rounded the end of the island. The cliffs blocked the light from the morning sun, casting a shadow over our ship. In a way, I realized, it was the opposite of the Lothian Dusk that fell over Zianna every evening.

It was around noon when the sun cleared the cliffs. Shortly afterwards, we found our destination. It was a divot in the sheer Cliffside, deep enough to create a bit of a sheltered area. Ender and Kor rushed around the ship, shouting instructions, until the Thief Queen was nicely tucked into the divot's opening. Ender called for the anchor to be dropped.

When the knights began to strip off their tunics and pants, I finally realized what the plan for the day was. Even Tannix pulling off his tunic couldn't distract me.

Maybe I was more comfortable being on water than I had once been, but being in it was something else entirely. I leaned against the railing, staring down at the water cautiously. What really bothered me, I realized in that moment, was not knowing what was underneath us. The top of the water reflected the clear blue sky, but under the surface I knew it was dark and deep. Was it really that strange to worry about a lurking big fish, or underwater plants tangling around my legs and tugging me down? My concerns seemed extremely reasonable.

A splash dragged me from my fears and I looked over to see Kor's head emerging from the water.

"It's not bad," he called up to the crowded knights, his voice cheerful. "Little chilly, aye, but not bad."

"Not bad?" Joen repeated with a barely concealed chuckle. He hadn't stripped off his clothing.

Ender grabbed hold of the rope ladder that led up the mast, and stepped onto the railing. The scar he had received in East Draulin was starkly visible on his side, a silvery jagged line from his armpit to his hip. He let go of the ropes and jumped, gracefully diving into the water near Kor.

With a yelp, Kor disappeared under the water. My heart skipped a beat or two before the two of them surfaced, laughing and shoving each other. Evrik jumped in next, not nearly as smoothly, followed by Acen and Mandell.

"You don't like swimming?" I asked Joen, hoping for an ally.

He shrugged. "It's fine, I'm just not good at it."

"Finn." Tannix hadn't followed the others in. He stood nearby, shirtless, with his Zianesa amulet and our wedding ring out for all to see. "You'll be perfectly safe. See?" He held the end of a thick rope. My eyes followed it, past a neat coil, until I saw where the end was knotted around a wooden peg. Tannix dropped his end over the edge of the ship. "You can hold it."

The suggestion was a comforting one, but before I could tentatively agree, Tannix said something else that sealed the deal.

"We can ask Roe for protection, can't we?"

I smiled. "I'm asking Roe for protection constantly every time I'm on a ship."

"That explains why we've been so lucky, then." Tannix caught my hand and drew me a step closer. "How's this. Roe, please help me teach Finn how to swim. Because I love him and I want him to be safe as we travel on our ambassador trip."

He was so handsome. Windswept hair, confident grin, bare chest. His blue eyes catching the sunlight just like the water around us. This carefree version of him was impossible to deny.

I swallowed. "That was pretty good. Just... don't let anybody touch me."

His grin grew for a moment, then he darted forward to give me a quick kiss before pulling away and climbing onto the railing with ease. "Nobody touch Finn."

The chorus of agreement from the men was what finally got me moving. I pulled off my tunic and added it to the pile of clothing from everyone else. My boots and pants came next, leaving me, like the men, dressed only in my underclothes. It was a state of undress I tended to avoid, even though the knights and Tannix were all very used to changing around each other.

The silliest part, I knew, was that I could admire Ender's scar while simultaneously being embarrassed by my own.

I took Tannix's outstretched hand to pull myself onto the ship's railing. Once I was securely holding the ropes, Tannix flashed me his beautiful grin again, then dove elegantly into the water.

I couldn't delay much longer, and truthfully, despite my nerves, I didn't want to delay. The benefit of learning how to swim was very obvious. I muttered another prayer to Roe under my breath as I used the rope to climb down the side of the ship. When I reached the water, I lowered myself in slowly, wincing at the cold.

Tannix was swimming around nearby, but the others had moved farther away. They were noisy. Splashes, taunts and laugher carried easily over the water. How often were they all able to relax? Even Acen seemed at ease as he loosened his hair tie and let his long hair drift in the water around him.

I was perfectly content floating next to the ship, both hands gripped tight around my rope. I wasn't swimming, but it felt like a safe first step. Tannix made it look so easy as he moved around me. He gave me suggestions for how to move my feet and legs, and cautiously I tried to follow his instructions. It was slow going, but eventually I felt ready enough to let go with one hand and waved it back and forth in the water.

"You're doing really well," Tannix said. "A bit more practice and you'll be swimming around like a fish."

My doubt must have been evident on my face, because Tannix laughed as he swam closer and reached up to grab my rope with his right hand. He looped his other hand around my waist and tugged me closer.

"Come here."

I grabbed his shoulder with my free hand. "You're not going to pull me away?"

"No, of course not."

Still slightly skeptical, I let go of the rope only to latch onto Tannix, with both arms hooked around his shoulders. Under the water, my legs wrapped around his hips. Nothing was going to pull me away from him.

With a twist of his wrist, Tannix had the rope wrapped snugly around his forearm. His left arm held me firmly against his chest. I thought he was going to encourage me to keep practicing, so he caught me off guard when he turned his head and kissed me.

His lips were salty. I knew ocean water was salty, but I had never tasted it before. I loosened my right arm's grip on his shoulders to cup the back of his neck and pulled him into a second, slower kiss.

I broke away briefly, just to say, "If teaching me new things means you're going to keep kissing me like this, what's next?"

Tannix didn't have a chance to laugh before our lips met again.

***

We went out to swim two more times, and each time my confidence grew. Although I knew the importance of learning, my favourite part of the trips was simply seeing Tannix and the men relax.

We took advantage of every moment of the two weeks Lady Clairia had given us. When they weren't on guard, and we weren't on a swimming trip, Acen and Joen spent plenty of time with their wives. Mandell and Evrik were given time off to go visit their families outside of West Draulin. Kor and Ender went sailing with Captain Roland for a whole day, and spent another visiting their parents.

More than once, we went out to taverns. The men let me join in on the card games, even while they gamely complained that I was too good at the games. A few times, Kor and Ender arranged for Kovin to have an evening off to come join us. He was invited because he was my friend, but I often wondered if the twins knew just how much Kovin admired them.

Everything was fun and easy. It wouldn't last, but we enjoyed it while we could. Tannix's radiant good mood carried over into every night, and we enjoyed slowly exploring each other in a way we hadn't had time for before the war.

Even when the two weeks ended, the relaxed atmosphere remained. Tannix started attending meetings, sometimes with only his mother or her and Tairia, sometimes with advisors or lesser lords from across New Teltar. But we were still at peace, and we were still safe. The knights picked up a more regular guard rotation and things went back to the sort of normal I'd only experienced those few months before the night Lord Tandrael had been killed.

***

A few weeks later, Tannix was drawn away from breakfast early by the arrival of a lesser lord from Lothin. Excusing himself with an apology, he left the room with Evrik in tow. Tairia and Laenie, who often ate with us, I thought to disguise the oddity of my presence, left a moment later. I found myself suddenly alone with Lady Clairia.

She spoke before I could excuse myself. "Finagale, I would like you to accompany me to my chamber."

I blinked, startled and confused. But I couldn't say no to Lady West Draulin, even if I was slowly becoming more comfortable with her. "Oh. Yes."

She stood, a playful smile that made her look very much like Tairia on her lips. "I simply want to show you something."

That didn't clarify much, but I pushed back my chair and got to my feet. As soon as we left the table, servants hurried to clear it off. That wasn't something I was used to yet, and I wasn't sure if I ever would be.

A pair of castle guards fell in behind us as we walked through the halls. I kept back a respectful step behind Lady Clairia, and to my relief she let us walk in silence. Lady Clairia's room was along the same winding hallway as Tannix's, and so it was a familiar path back upstairs to the family's private quarters. The guards following us took up posts on either side of the wooden doorway as Lady Clairia pushed it open. I quietly followed her in.

It was strange being in the room she had shared with Lord Tandrael for so many years. The room he had died in. The large bed was hidden behind a hanging curtain, and part of me was glad. I didn't want to look at the place he had died, but without the curtain my eyes would have been drawn to it. Instead, I looked around the room.

It was larger than Tannix's, but similarly laid out. Across from the bed there was a large stone fireplace and sitting area. Wooden shelving covered the wall around the fireplace, every shelf filled with books and decorations. In the middle of the room, what looked like it had once been a small dining table had been transformed into a desk, and was covered with papers, books, and a neat row of ink bottles and quills. Large, west-facing windows provided a view of the unending ocean.

Lady Clairia walked around the table. Between the bed and a changing screen, which blocked off an alcove of wardrobes, stood a pretty vanity table. Small bottles and jars were artfully arranged across the top, but I barely gave them a second glance when I noticed the shelves surrounded the mirror.

Each shelf held a statuette.

I drifted closer, even though it meant moving into Lady Clairia's personal space. There were eight of them, four on each side. Zianesa, Roe, Kitsa and Volava stood on the left side, while Anniva, Lovi, Mysma and Jute stood on the other. It was an interesting combination of deities. The Triplets and Volava made sense, they were the common four for people to have in personal shrines. Anniva and Lovi, the goddesses of healing and love, also made some sense. But I had never seen Lovi's parents in a private shrine before. Mysma was the goddess of art, and her husband Jute, the god of history and language.

Then I noticed, nestled between the jars the bottles, more intriguing decorations. A trio of worn wooden figures, a red unburned candle wrapped in a blue ribbon, and a small rock.

"I told you that I was raised with both of my parents' beliefs," Lady Clairia said. "But I never had the statuettes on display, until after Tandreal died. Not that he would have been offended. He always knew I choose to honor the Zian gods as well as the Goddess. These were my father's. And these," she lightly touched one of the wooden figures, "are the original Sunia, Catul and Eogan my mother took when she fled to West Draulin. My parents never replaced them, even though they were so worn. I wanted to show you." She paused and took a breath. "You're welcome to come pray to them, whenever you would like. Unfortunately, there is no Zian temple in West Draulin. I would like to change that, but for now, I hope a small shrine will suffice."

Personal shrines were just that—personal. I knew exactly what it meant that she was showing me hers, even inviting me to visit it. More than any of her words, her offer meant I was family.

"Thank you," I managed to say, although it wasn't nearly enough. I couldn't match her offer, but I found myself trying anyway. "I... um, I have my own statues. Just a few. Zianesa, Roe, Lovi and Lukk. You... if you wanted to talk to Lukk, I mean..." I trailed off, unsure if I was making any sense.

Clairia's smile was genuine and kind. "If I ever have some words for Lukk, I would very much appreciate seeing your statue. I didn't realize you had your own shrine." There was a curious lilt to her voice, although it wasn't really a question.

I answered anyway. "Tannix bought them for me. He's trying to learn about them." I realized that I was fiddling with my rings through my tunic, just as Tannix often tapped his Zianesa amulet. It suddenly felt like an important thing to share. "I gave him a Zianesa amulet before the war."

"Ah. So that's what it is," Clairia said. "I thought he was just touching his wedding ring."

"You noticed?"

"My son picked up a new, very specific habit." Clairia laughed. "Of course I noticed. Now, I'm sure you have better things to do than stay and talk to me. Practice with Tandrix's knights, maybe?"

It was an easy excuse, but much to my own surprise, I didn't want to take it. "Maybe..." For a heartbeat, my next words caught in my throat because they were so outlandish. How was this happening? How was I about to ask Lady West Draulin to do this?

I swallowed. "Maybe we could pray together?"

"I'm out of practice," Clairia said. "But yes, I think that's a lovely idea. I'll follow your lead."

I turned to face the statues and was alarmed to find that my mind was blank. Every prayer I knew was gone. Clairia waited patiently, giving me the time I needed to relax enough to remember something. Finally, relieved, I began to quietly say one of the more common prayers to Zianesa.