"cheer up myself"
_

Her eyes are sore.

Sorely red from crying late at night. Every night is only her time to let out her feelings that she's been bottling throughout the day. Everyone else is still sleeping with minimal worries in their minds. So why can't she?

Ask her yourself. Who?

The girl who's eyesight are getting worse due to countless days without sleep. Crying has her stopping from sleeping for crying is the only way to ease her pain. Her worries, anxiety, problems were another fuss to deal with. All she could do was,

cry through the night. she had no other choice.

Her pair of brown orbs land on the girl happily laughing with bright smiles shown on their faces. She admires their cute laughs from the sofa provided in the waiting room. She loves them dearly to death. She'll sacrifice anything of hers for the sake of her friends' happiness,

even if it means giving her happiness away acting and crying through the night.

"Okay. This is the last stage of the concert. Are all you ready?" The manager asks the girls, who were prepared in their clothings waiting eagerly to say good night to their fellow fans. All of them nodded happily. "Okay, let's go now."

_

"One in a million we're Twice. Take care Onces!" they shout in sync as it was the last stage of the day. They need rest too, but leaving Onces who had supported them through phases makes them sad. "We love you! Have a nice sleep!"

The curtains slowly close, and she stares at the closing curtains. Her last precious memory of the day was the candybongs flashing brightly in the dark arena. The last voices that rang in her ears were the shouts from Onces. The shouts that echoed throughout her mind during worst times.

Her mind were elsewhere and didn't even realize she has reached her room. She doesn't want to, but her mind is too cruel and blocks out she screams of agony echoing through the night.

the lights turn off. and it starts.

Her tired body lays on the soft mattress and she turns swiftly to her left side. Her arm resting on the pillow, underneath her head. Her eyes that's soon to turn sore stares into darkness. She has no other choice.

"i'm so sorry for not being a good leader."

the sentence she says every time she thinks she's not good enough to be leader of Twice. She doesn't know whether it's completely true, but one thing is true.

Her love for her members. The love that is at its' purest.

But the love has turned into insecurity and she began doubt whether the role of leader suits her. One's true, and that the love for her members. That's already enough to know for her to be happy.

for she smiles through the day, and suffers through the night.

smiles when she's with them, suffers when she's without them.

smiles, only to cover the truth of her sorrows and pain.

and suffers with anxiety raising in her,

through the night.