STACEY squinted her eyes a bit because the brightness of the world outside contrasted the calm mellow lighting of her hospital room. When her eyes adjusted to the glare of the light that flooded though the glass window, she finally saw the serene view outside. Asul na asul ang kalangitan, halos walang napadadaan na puting mga ulap dito. Dahan-dahan siyang tumayo, sapo ang kanyang puson habang naglalakad patungo sa bintana. Paminsan-minsan ay itinutukod niya ang kamay sa pader hanggang sa makaya niyang tumayo nang mas matuwid. She sucked in a sharp breath through her teeth, tolerating the cramps that made her legs tremble. Nang humupa ito, nagpatuloy siya sa paglakad hanggang sa marating ang tabi ng bintana.

Sa kanyang kinapupuwestuhan, kitang-kita na niya ang luntiang damuhan na nakalatag sa premises ng ospital. Nasilip din niya ang pahapyaw ng nakausling mga pader nito na may mga glass window. Kung titingin siya sa malayo, makikita ang kulay brown na bubong ng mga malapit na kabahayanan. At sa dulo niyon ay ang dagat na dinadaanan ng isang malaking barko.

Stacey blinked back her tears. She could not help a shaky breath from escaping her quivering lips.

"Stacey?"

The voice stiffened her. She already expected him to come here, in her own little room in this hospital in Dublin, but still, his presence surprised her. Ni hindi niya ito malingon dahil hindi niya malaman kung ano ang pangingibabawing emosyon. Should she show him she's scared of him? Or should she show him she's greatly devastated by what happened? Alin sa mga iyon ang ipinunta ng lalaki rito?

***

THERE was a turbulence. Everyone were instructed to wear their seat belts.

Renante woke up Stacey to let her know what's going on. Nanatili silang kalmado noong mga panahong iyon. After all, turbulences normall occurs during a flight every once in a while. If it wasn't due to bad weather, then it must be because of the wind or the clouds. And just as expected, their flight became smooth again after that turbulence.

It was already four in the afternoon in Irelend, when their plane reached the foreign country's skies.

Renante had a good nap. Lalo na at convertible into full bed ang kanilang seats. He awakened by an unusual bump. Tila ba umalog ang eroplano. He sat up. Sinilip niya agad ang seat ni Stacey at nakitang wala roon ang dalaga. Binundol siya ng kaba sa dibdib, lalo na at nagsisimula nang magkagulo ang mga tao sa paligid. The flight crews shuffled their feet around the plane, trying to keep the passengers calm and instructing them what to do. Kung nag-anunsiyo man ang piloto gamit ang speakers, hindi niya na nalaman pa dahil kagigising lang niya.

Renante stood up and searched for Stacey with his eyes. Another bump shook him. Thankfully, he managed to grab on the top of his seat to steady himself. Dahil din doon, may ilan sa mga nakatayong pasahero at flight crew nanagkabanggaan o 'di kaya'y natumba.

"Stacey!" he called, loud and firm in the midstof the buzzing frantic voices inside the plane.

A pair of hands grabbed his shoulders from the behind. He was welcomed by the calm face of a female stewardess. Despite how calm and collected she looked, anxiety writ on her eyes.

"Sir, please be seated and put on your seat belt." There was urgency in her voice.

"Miss, hinahanap ko iyong girlfriend ko."

"Sir, please be seated po."

"Nasaan muna ang girlfriend ko?" gusot ng kanyang mukha rito nang pilitin siya ng babae na hilain pabalik sa kanyang upuan.

"Sir, umupo na ho kayo. Kami na po ang bahala sa lahat ng naririto. We will make sure that no one gets left behind."

"What the fuck is even going on? Is this still a turbulence?" he muttered.

Muling umalog ang eroplano kaya hindi nakasagot ang flight stewardess. Sa halip, napabitiw ito sa kanya at napaatras. Nahablot nito agad ang isa sa mga seat kaya hindi natumba. Itinukod naman ni Renante ang isang kamay sa likuran ng seat sa kanyang unahan at tumanaw uli sa kabuoan ng eroplano. Karamihan sa mga pasahero ay isinuot na ang kanilang mga seat belt, ngunit may ilang mga pasaway na nakikipagtalo pa sa mga flight attendant.

He stole a glance at the flight stewardess who was assisting him earlier. Nakapako sa kanya ang nakikusap nitong tingin. The safest thing to do was to be seated, and have faith that Stacey will be in her seat any minute now.

But he just could not rely her safety to chance!

"Sorry," he told her before he rushed down the aisle to search for Stacey.

He has to find her. At kung may oras pa sila, hihilahin niya ang dalaga pabalik sa seat nito para makapagsuot ng seat belt katulad niya. Siya na mismo ang maghahanap sa dalaga, dahil hindi siya sigurado kung maaasikaso pa ito ng mga attendant sa rami ng mga pasaherong nagnanakaw sa atensiyon ng mga ito.

Hindi siya nagpapigil sa mga attendant na kanyang nabubunggo. He looked for Stacey everywhere until his panic cleared off and he began thinking straight. Naisip niyang isa lang ang posibleng maging dahilan kaya umalis ang dalaga sa seat nito. Inisa-isa niya ang mga plane toilet. Bakante ang una niyang mga nadaanan.

Renante shook his head and rushed to the last plane toilet, close to the tip of the plane's anatomy. Abot-tanaw na niya ito nang muling umalog ang eroplano. This time, frenzied shrieks filled the air. Terrified sobs and angry scowls came after. It was already a mix of voices that drowned his voice as he called for Stacey's name.

"Stacey!" he screamed, finally at the top of his lungs.

He held onto the top of the seats on his both sides. He swayed along to the motion of the plane while Stacey, who looked terrified, finally opened the door of the small room where the plane toilet is.

Renante's eyes widened, hope flashed before them, hiding away his fear. Stacey held onto anything that she can hold on to, just to keep herself from stumbling down.

"Renante!" she cried to him, her face twisted in horror and sorrow. He could not understand it at all. He had always known Stacey as this brave, tough chick. He never thought that a plane trouble would shake her like this!

Nagmamadaling naglakad si Renante patungo sa dalaga. Sa sobrang gulo ng mga pangyayari at dahil sa sunod-sunod na pag-alog ng eroplano, pakiramdam niya ay umaakyat siya sa bangin. The plane took a plummet, lowering his flooring while lifting Stacey's. Shouts filled the air while Renante made a jump for it. Humawak siya sa magkabilang frame ng doorway patungo sa plane toilet. Siyang ikinaputla niya nang tumuwid bigla ang lipad ng eroplano at humampas ang pinto ng plane toilet kay Stacey. It flung open again, revealing Stacey scrambling and holding on to the sink.

The plane took another dive, pushing Stacey to his direction. Renante readied himself. He let go of the door frames and rushed to her, to catch her in his arms. Nang maikulong ang dalaga sa kanyang mga bisig, kapwa sila bumagsak padapa sa sahig. Ikinawit ni Renante ang isang binti sa nakaawat na pinto ng toilet seat. He struggled between keeping Stacey in his arms and reaching the open door with his other leg. Dumudulas kasi silang dalawa pababa. Nang maikawit na niya ang isa pang binti, doon na hinigpitan ni Renante ang pagkakayapos sa dalaga.

He looked up, and saw two of the flight attendants desperately trying to climb to their position. Pero kung hindi madudulas ang mga ito pababa ay aalog naman ang eroplano para patigilin sila. Other passengers could see them too but couldn't stare at them that long. They were too pre-occupied with their own safety and with their loved ones.

Renante checked on Stacey. She curved herself into a ball. And they let out groans asvery few random objects from the lavatory fell off their shelves and dropped on them. He secured one of Stacey's arm on her head and her hand on her nape.

"Stay in that position!" he instructed her while his other arm positioned over his head, his hand cupping his own nape. Renante didn't saw it, but he knew that the toilet doors swung again, slapping repetitative torturous pain on his legs and knees.

Then, his mind left the present.

It went back to that time when he and Stacey were lying on the bed in a hotel room. It was a beautiful night. They successfully sold their wristwatches at a Christmas bazaar. To celebrate, they had dinner together and made love a couple of times.

"Am I wrong for wanting everything to be done right? I have waited for a love like this, like ours, to come into my life. That's why I never mind taking my time, just to make sure everything will be done right . . . I wonder if am I wrong for that? What if, we will never be ready? What if waiting for the time for us to be ready for marriage is just . . . bullshit? You know?

"It is not bullshit. I understand where you are coming from. It's just that . . . It's just that, we can't predict life. We can't tell how much time we have left to be with each other."

"Shit,Stace. Huwag ka ngang magsalita nang ganyan? What 'time left' are you talking about? Kung makapagsalita ka, parang bilang na ang oras natin."

"Ikaw naman, I am just stating what's common sense, 'tapos natataranta ka na nang ganyan."

***

STACEY sucked in a sharp breath through her teeth. The wince on her face told Derrick that she was tolerating another cramps that made her legs tremble. Nang humupa ito, nagpatuloy ang dalaga sa paglakad hanggang sa marating ang tabi ng bintana. She stood there wearing a white hospital gown with blue prints on it. Magulo ang pagkaka-low ponytail ng lagpas-balikat nitong buhok.

Nakatanaw ito sa view ng mga bubong ng bahay at sa barkong nasa dagat, kaya nakatalikod ang dalaga sa direksiyon ng lalaki.

Inalis ni Derrick ang tingin mula sa salaming bintana ng pinto. He pushed down the door lever and pushed the door open.

"Stacey?" he called as he stepped in.

He saw her frame stiffen. Nanatili ang dalaga sa posisyon nito. Derrick wondered if she was feeling scared of him or if she was still in shock about what happened to her. Dahan-dahang binitiwan ni Derrick ang lever ng pinto at nilapitan ang nag-iisa nitong anak. As he walked, he stole a glance at the basket of treats on her bedside table. Napansin ng lalaki na hindi man lang iyon nagalaw. Katabi niyon ang tray ng mga pagkain na wala nang laman.

Tumayo si Derrick sa kaliwa ng bintana at sumandal sa pader na katabi nito nang patagilid. He gave his daughter a measuring look. Naghahanap ito ng tiyempo kung kailan magsasalita. He didn't want to say anything wrong, because he could judge from his daughter's teary eyes that she is very sensitive as of this moment. So, they shared this long silence. Stacey kept her eyes on the window, while Derrick shifted his gaze between her and the view outside the window.

"Some things are not really meant to be rushed," she spoke at last, her voice was slightly shaky.

"Renante is okay," he said immediately. Baka sakaling makatulong iyon para hindi matuloy ang tangka ng anak nito na umiyak.

But Derrick failed. Tears began rolling down her cheeks.

"He's still unconscious because of the anaesthesia. He will also have to stay for another two weeks here. Kailangan kasi siyang obserbahan habang nagre-recover mula sa operation niya."

She swallowed hard, her eyes still avoided him.

"Also," Derrick shoved his shaky hands in his jacket's side pockets, "his brother will be coming here soon, to take over when it comes to Renante's papers here in the hospital. Kailangan talaga kasi na family member ang mag-asikaso ng mga bagay na iyon para sa kanya."

Stacey turned to him, her eyes still streaming down tears. He saw her lips quiver, so Derrick shifted his gazeto the window.

"Meanwhile, you will be coming home with me tomorrow morning."

Napayuko ito.

"Once Renante is discharged, idederetso siya ng kapatid niya sa bahay ko rito sa Dublin. So, don't worry about anything. You'll be seeing each other again." Derrick tried to lift the mood in the room by lightening up his tone. "Seems like you'll be stuck in Ireland for a while."

"That's the thing, Dad. I'll be seeing him again and that . . . that scares me."

Salubong ang mga kilay na ibinalik ni Derrick ang tingin sa anak. He looked more concerned that upset.

"Ano na lang ang iisipin niya sa akin? I know he won't believe me when I say that I don't know I am pregnant. That I just lost our child."

At doon na tuluyang nagiba ang pagpapakatatag sa tinig nito. She uncontrollably sobbed and looked away from him. Her hands frantically rubbed away the tears from her eyes. But it was no use, because her tears just kept streaming down her face.

"He will think that Iam keeping secrets from him, just when we have already promised to each other,that there will be no more secrets! He'll be mad at me for sure!" she cried.