March 16, 2007

Gold dresses and gowns. Blinking party lights and hanging candle chandeliers with yellow buds of flames. Overhead and all around there were thin hanging  and crystal-like bubbles. The whole place transformed from a simple ballroom to an enchanted fairy forest.

Maximillian Gold did not cut short om anything. In fact, he exceeded and went beyond when it comes to the preparation for Sondra’s 18th birthday party.

And what should they do other than enjoy?

Pagkatapos kumain, dumiretso silang magkakaibigan sa dance floor. Sumayaw sa mga tugtugin mula sa playlist na sinadya sa kanilang panlasa. Sondra is a big Avril Lavigne fan, a reason why most of the music they danced to that night was mostly from Avril.

They surrounded Sondra. Pinanood ni Stacey ang pag-aagawan ng mga kaibigan sa birthday girl. Who wouldn’t want to be around her? Even in the craziest party room, she remained a ball of sunlight. No need for any disco ball, to be honest. She wore this yellow-gold enchanted fairy-inspired gown with big puffed sleeves, chiffon accents and all with that gold sun-crown that Maximillian gifted to her. They really made sure that this night would only belong to Sondra, that she would be the most outstanding among them all.

And Stacey smiled contentedly. She stood in front of the girls in her straight satin gold gown. It has sequins all over it with a coat finish that tamed their sparkle, so she would not turn herself into a substitute disco ball. Her dark hair fell straight on her back, covering her bare shoulder blades exposed by the deep cut behind her dress. A cut that reached the back of her waists. The evening gown formed a deep v from the straps to the space between the upper part of her breasts.

Then Best Damn Thing began playing. Stacey could not help squealing. She joined the girls.

“This is my song! My song!” deklara niya habang sinasabayan ng sayaw ang tugtog.

Natawa tuloy sila Sondra sa kanya bago siya sinabayan.

As soon as Avril Lavigne demanded them to say Hey! Hey! Hey! they obeyed. Tinaas pa nila ang isang kamay sa ere, tumalon-talon habang sumisigaw.

They happily sang along. As Stacey exchanged looks and smiles with the girls around her, she realized something.

Maybe this could work… Maybe, we can be real friends after all…

Until someone decided to wade in their circle.

Ang puntirya nito? Si Sondra.

Right in front of her, Renante wrapped his arms around Sondra.

“Uyyy!!!” buhay na buhay na kantyaw ng kanilang mga kaibigan. They kept grooving to the music, but were all eyes now on the two.

♪Where are the hopes, where are the dreams♪

Naipit ang pang-itaas na mga braso ng dalaga kaya sa ilalim nito pinadaan ang mga kamay. She hugged Renante back, clinging on his torso with her cheek pressed against his upper arm.

♪My Cinderella story scene?♪

Sinamantala ng lalaki ang pagkakalapit ng ganoon. Yumuko ito. It was as if he sunk his face on Sondra’s straight hair and whispered something good. So good, the birthday girl beamed and glowed with happiness. Malaki ang ngiti nito.

♪When do you think they’ll finally see?♪

Napahiwalay ito kay Renante para titigan ang binatilyo sa mukha.

“That’s fabulous!” bulalas nito sabay hawak sa mga kamay ni Renante.

♪That you’re not, not, not gonna get any better

You won’t, won’t, won’t, you won’t get rid of me never♪

Stacey already stopped dancing.

♪Like it or not, even though she’s a lot like me♪

Her heart sunk as their holding hands swung in front of her.

♪We’re not the same…♪

Kailan tayo magiging close, Renante? Ganyan ka-close na hindi mo mamasamain kung hawakan ko ang mga kamay mo?

She snapped from her longing thoughts when Sondra let him go.

“Wait, guys, I forgot something.”

Nag-alala si Stacey. “Oh, where are you going?”

No Sondra means no Renante. Nakaka-guilty na iyon ang totoong dahilan ng pag-aalala ni Stacey. Once Sondra leaves, Renante would probably accompany her or go somewhere alone on his own.

“Silly!” Natawa ito. “I’ll be back agad. I just have to thank Millian for the crown.”

Ang Millian na tinutukoy nito ay si Maximillian, ang anak ng namayapang kaibigan ng ama ni Sondra na kinupkop ng pamilya nito.

Stacey pouted. “Haven’t you thanked him already when we all had dinner?”

“Please,” tinapik siya nito sa balikat. There’s an assurance in Sondra’s eyes. “I’ll be back.”

Sumingit ang kaklase ni Sondra, si Vernon. His hair was long and styled in a single upward spike like a shark fin. Sukat na sukat dito ang itim na suit na may patayong gold stripes. Nagyayaya nang uminom ang lalaki, tutal legal age na raw sila. They glanced at Sondra, waiting for her approval. Okay lang naman kay Sondra na mauna sila sa inuman kaya nagbunyi lalo ang lokong si Vernon. Nagmamadaling iniwan sila ni Sondra.

Stacey braced herself. Inunahan na niya ang mararamdamang pagkabagot sa oras na umalis din si Renante. Niyakap niya ang braso ni Vernon at hinatak ito papunta sa bar.

“Let’s goooo!!!” masigla niyang tangay sa lalaki at sumunod sa kanila sila Cynthia, Fritzie, Kylie at Renante.

Yes. She hid her shock upon seeing that Renante joined them too.

“I don’t drink,” aatras na sana si Kylie.

Cynthia went behind Kylie and held her shoulders firmly. She gave Kylie an encouraging push.

“Relax! You don’t have to drink a lot! You can stop if you don’t the to drink anymore. Just have a little taste, okay?”

Sa hindi malamang dahilan, naging buhay na buhay ang gabi nang marinig ulit ni Stacey ang boses ni Renante. Ang mababa at malumanay nitong boses.

“She should settle for some ladies’ drink then,” suhestiyon nito.

Kylie gave Renante a relieved and grateful look. Something he didn’t know since his eyes were in front, locked on their target location: the bar.

They requested for some drinks. Nagtalo-talo at nagkagulo pa sa kung ano ang pipiliin kaya mas natagalan sila. Young and feeling bold, they took slim long-necked singles bottles of beers. Pinagbigyan nila si Kyle na mag-iced tea lang sa kondisyon na ito ang unang titikim sa mga alak nila. Napipilitang um-oo ito.

Then they settled on a table close to the bar. Masaya pa sila at maingay. Nag-aagawan pa ng pwesto.

Stacey could not even move during the chaos. When she found an empty space beside Renante, Kylie suddenly appeared and took that seat. Napabuntong-hininga na lang siya sa naiwang upuan sa pagitan ni Kylie at Vernon. She decided to just smile it out and occupy that chair.

Pagkaupo, siyang lapag niya ng bukas nang bote ng beer sa mesa.

“Ops— Ops— Ops—” Vernon leaned over the table and reached Kylie’s tall glass of iced tea. Pabirong gumamit ito ang magaspang at maangas na boses, ginagaya si Jay Contreras ng Kamikazee “Dito na muna ‘yan! May usapan tayo, bata!”

Kylie gulped, cute and innocent-looking with her naturally dark loose curled hair that reached her shoulders. She looked sweeter in her baby pink lipstick and puffed-sleeved gold regency gown.

Pinalit ni Vernon dito ang sariling bote ng alak.

“Here’s mine! Just one sip!” At nilingon siya nito. “Sa’yo ang sunod, Stace!”

Hindi malaman ni Stacey ang mararamdaman nang makita ang nakakaawang pagkakatitig ni Kylie sa bote ng alak. She wondered if Kylie would cry, knowing she cries so easily about things.

Instead, she carefully lifted the bottle and began taking a sip. Sumabog ang halakhakan sa mesa nang gumusot sa pait ang mukha nito.

Stacey could have laughed too. But she could not when in her peripheral vision, she could see Renante furrowing his eyebrows, lips shut sternly.

Inabot agad ni Kylie ang bote kay Vernon. Huli na nang makita ni Stacey na iabot ng pilyong lalaki ang bote ng alak niya kay Kylie.

Kylie immediately took a sip, eager to get this over with. Pero kakasayad lang ng nguso ng bote sa bibig nito, binaba iyon agad ng kanilang kaibigan.

“Gah!” mariin nitong pikit pero dumilat agad. Nilapag nito sa tapat niya ang bote.

Tawanan. Umiinom na si Vernon, umaangat pa rin ang mga balikat dahil natatawa.

Nahihiyang napayuko na lang si Stacey. She was torn between going with the flow and impressing Renante.

But what about her?

What does she want?

When is she going to do what she really wants?

When will she know what she really wants?

“Mine!” angat kaunti ni Cynthia sa kinauupuan para iabot kay Kylie ang isa pang bote.

Uminom ng kaunti si Kaelee. Lalong gumusot ang mukha. They laughed.

Stacey just looked away.

“Drink half of this,” hamon ni Fritzie nang iabot ang bote kay Kylie.

“H-Half?”

“Half,” siguradong ngiti nito.

Napalabi si Kylie. “Half.” After a minute of mustering up all courage, she drank.

It was really a pity to watch Kylie trying so hard to please the cool rich spoiled kids with them. Pero ano ang magagawa ni Stacey? She could not ruin her place in this circle of friends and risk hee chances with Renante just for… just for someone else.

Nang matapos si Kylie, parang nasusuka ito sa pangit ng lasa ng ininom. Pulang-pula na rin ang nilamukos nitong mukha.

Ang masakit pa roon, natanaw nito si Vernon. Ininom na nito ang iced tea ni Kylie. Nakalimot yata sa usapan ang ginawang chaser iyon.

Hindi rin nakaligtas iyon kay Renante na tumalim ang tingin kay Vernon.

“One more,” abot ulit ni Cynthia ng alak kay Kylie. Sa pagkakataong iyon, sinalin na iyon sa baso para may naiinom pa rin ito habang tumutungga si Kylie.

Kylie hesitantly accepted the plastic cup.

“Ah, quit it,” Renante coolly interrupted at last. Inagaw nito ang baso para kay Kylie. “Kayo ha, kanina niyo pa pinagti-trip-an itong si Kylie.”

“OMG,” si Fritzie, natatawa. “Don’t tell me, si Kylie na ang type mo, hindi si Sonny!”

Binuntutan iyon ng malakas na panunukso ng tatlo kay Renante. Stacey sunk in her seat, discreetly wandering her eyes on Kylie. Immediately scanning Kylie. Instantly comparing herself with Kylie.

Does Renante like his girls… sweet and soft-spoken?

“Come on,” ngiti lang ni Renante, trying to lighten up his confrontation style to keep the spirit of fun alive, “I thought you’re friends? Why are you doing this to Kylie?”

Sumingit ang maliit na boses ni Kylie. “It’s okay, I think they are just already drunk.”

Drunk? Eh nagsisimula pa lang sila?

Stacey worried. Napansin niya ang pamumula ng mukha at leeg ni Kylie. Lagpas kalahating bote na ang naiinom nito! Nalasing na ito agad?

Lumipat ang tingin ni Stacey kay Renante. She just could not help it. Namamangha siya. Humahanga sa lakas ng loob ng lalaki komprontahin sila Vernon. He was so self-assured, not scared of anything at all.

“You know what?” At last, she spoke. “He’s right. Tama na, guys.”

Natawa sila Fritzie sa kanya. Pero sa oras na tinapunan niya ng matalim na tingin ang mga ito tatawa-tawang sumuko ang tatlo.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, fine,” Fritzie groaned.

Umiling lang si Vernon. Nagkibit-balikat bago uminom.

“Gusto lang naman namin magkaroon siya ng tolerance sa stronger na drinks, no,” depensa ni Cynthia bago uminom.

Napailing na lang si Stacey. Nang ibalik ang tingin kina Renante parang lalo siyang nadurog.

“Let’s get you some drink,” anyaya nito kay Kylie.

They were about to leave when Renante noticed someone standing close to his seat. “Sonny!”

All of a sudden, Renante revealed where his loyalty belonged to. Tumayo ito agad para alalayan sa siko si Sondra.

Umalis ang mga ito para kumuha ng ladies’ drink kasama si Kylie. Simula noon, hindi na maalis-alis ang atensyon ni Renante sa dalawang babae. They played beer pong where Sondra got so wasted she vomited.

And who was there to carry her upon his shoulder?

Renante, of course.

Nang nahimasmasan si Sondra, kapwa nila iniwanan ito nang mag-isa sa kwarto. Wala silang imikan habang tinatahak na ang tahimik na pasilyo.

It sounded like white noise… the deafening beat of her frantic heart.

Ano ngayon ang sasabihin niya sa lalaki?

Napapatagal na ang katahimikang namamagitan sa kanila. She didn’t want to make things awkward with this silence.

Palihim niya itong sinulyapan.

Should she compliment him about how good he looked in his black gold-patterned suit?

No. That would be so random. Walang dahilan para sabihin niya ito sa binata sa ganitong pagkakataon.

It sucks to not know what to do when she already had the chance to be alone with Renante.

“Masyado kang kunsintidor.”

Napalingon siya rito. “Ano?”

“Ikaw,” masungit nitong harap sa kanya. “Imbes na pigilan mo si Sonny, hinayaan mo lang siyang mag-inom nang mag-inom.”

“Look,” depensa niya, “birthday niya today, okay? Ayoko maging KJ. If that’s what’s going to make her happy on her day, then let her!”

Nagsalubong ang mga kilay nito. “Kahit makakasama sa kanya?”

“Look,” naluluha na siya, “I worried for Sondra too.” Totoo iyon. “Pero come on. Masyado ka namang nagwo-worry sa kanya. She should be able to handle herself by now. She’s already eighteen!”

“Kahit na!” bwisit na ito pero kontrolado ang pagtataas ng boses sa kanya. “Pati kay Kylie, wala kang ginawa. Understood ko ‘yong cerberus. Iisa lang likaw ng tatlong ulo na ‘yon—” patungkol ni Renante kina Fritzie, Cynthia at Vernon, “—pero ikaw? I don’t know why I even expected you to do something kind for your friends. Like helping them out?”

Pero bakit?

Bakit ganito?

Bakit ang hirap huminga?

Bakit gusto niyang maiyak?

Bakit parang may tumarak sa puso niya? Kaya sobrang sakit sa dibdib?

Bakit natatakot siya kapag napapagalitan ni Renante? Ngayon lang niya nalaman dahil ito ang unang pagkakataon.

Ngayon lang siya nakausap ulit ng lalaki tapos para saan? Para pagalitan nito?

This wasn’t the kind of attention she wanted fr Renante… But is this better than none at all?

Than to be completely ignored by him?

Siyang sulpot ni Maximillian mula sa dulo ng pasilyo. The blond-haired FilAm charged toward them.

Furious. Drunk.

“Si Sondra?” mabigat at iritable nitong tanong.

Hirap si Stacey maapuhap ang sasabihin. She was never intimidated of anyone, yet got cold fert because of Renante’s words earlier. Pakiramdam niya tuloy, siya ang responsable sa nangyari kay Sondra.

“N-Nasa kwarto na niya…”

“What happened?” bulyaw nito.

“S-Sorry, Kuya Maximillian, I… we—”

“Why did you make her drink that much!” he interrupted Stacey, losing patience. “She’s just a—”

Maximillian flinched.

“Get away,” tulak nito sa kanya para umalos sa pagkakaharang sa dadaanan nito.

Napapikit siya. Handang mahulog sa sahig.

Napamulagat siya.

Mga braso ang sumalo sa kanya.

Si Renante.

Pinasandal nito ang likod niya sa dibdib nito. Nakahawak sa likuran ng kanyang mga braso ang mga kamay nito.

Thank God, she wasn’t facing Renante. Or else, the effect of this closeness would double. Baka sumunod na siya kay Sondra na dalhin agad sa kwarto. Siya naman ay dahil sa pagkahimatay.

Maingat siyang inalalayan ni Renante para makatayo ng maayos. Hindi siya makapihit paharap dito.

“I’m sorry, Stace,” malumanay nitong wika.

That’s when her tears began streaming.

“I don’t know. You just changed. Or maybe, this is who you really are. But either way, a friend is a friend. We will all grow and mature together.”

Stacey sniffed. Mas lalong ayaw na niyang harapin si Renante. Her make-up were all runny now, especially her mascara. She’s a mess—

Pigil niya ang paghinga nang yumakap ang braso ni Renante paakbay sa kanya. Kumawit ang kamay nito sa isa niyang braso.

He cheered her up. “We’re drunk also. Let’s have some ice cream or something.” At inalala rin nito si Kylie na kalagitnaan pa ng beer pong nila ay nakatulog na. “Baka drinowingan na nila Vernon ang mukha ni Kylie doon so, get cleaned up—” abot agad nito ng panyo nito sa kanya, “—and let’s go.”

Manginig-nginig na pinunasan ni Stacey ang sarili. “I-Ikaw na lang. I want to be alone. By the beach.”

At sinadya niyang madaliin ang lakad para maiwan ang lalaki.

On her way down the stairs, she dropped Renante’s handkerchief.

Nung mga panahong iyon, hindi ang pagso-sorry ni Renante o ang makabuluhang sinabi nito tungkol sa pagiging kaibigan ang tumatak sa kanya.

She was so young back then. The world felt centered on her.

Sa mga nangyari, ang nakita lang ni Stacey ay ang pagpapamukha ng mga naganap na mahal na mahal ni Renante si Sondra.

And all these memories came back to Stacey when Kylie asked, “Remember? Nung debut party ni Sonny?”

.

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Present...

THE GIRLS WERE DRUNK. Pinilit ni Fritzie na kaya pa nitong magmaneho. Gayundin si Cynthia. Kaya hinayaan na ni Renante ang mga ito na makauwi. He was left with a dilemma. Paano ang maiiwang kotse ni Stacey? Paano rin ang kotse ni Kylie?

Apparently, Kylie was blackout drunk. Hirap silang gisingin ito.

Renante decided to call Maximillian to bring Sondra, Stacey at Kylie home. Naiwan siya sa parking lot ng club para bantayan ang dalawang kotse na naiwan. Bukod pa rito ang sariling kotse na kanyang gamit.

At habang naghahagilap ng pwedeng hingian ng tulong sa contacts list, nagkumpulan naman sa backseat ng kotse ni Maximillian sila Kylie at Stacey.

Sondra occupied the shotgun seat, already sound asleep with a pink neckpillow on and a fleece blanket. Sinadya ni Maximillian magdala ng extra pang kumot. At iyon ang pinaghahatian nila Stacey at Kylie.

Nakasiksik sa bintana ang walang malay na si Kylie. Stacey, on the other hand, huddled close to her friend. Her eyes were half-open, her mind floating.

Tunog mula sa radyo lang ang pumapailanlang sa loob ng sasakyan. Hanggang sa naalimpungatan sa wakas si Kylie.

Sarado pa rin ang mga mata nito. But Kylie’s slurred voice alerted Stacey.

“Remember? Nung debut party ni Sonny?”

“What about it?” mahina niyang bulong.

“I just remembered it… I always remember it dati… Dati lang naman,” lasing nitong tingala.

“Ang ganda nung party, ‘di ba?” pikit niya. Ngiti niya.

“Si Renante…” mahinang tawa ni Kylie. “I always remember him that night… What he did that night…”

Medyo bumukas ang mga mata ni Stacey. Kinabahan siya sa hindi malamang dahilan.

“He’s… Damn, it. How should I say this? Ang bait-bait niya, ‘di ba? Pinagtanggol niya ako kina Vernon… Ang gentleman, right? Tapos nung nalasing ako n’on… He helped me get to my bedroom there…”

Stacey held her breath.

“I had a crush on him since that night,” lasing na bungisngis nito.