“AND IN THE NEAR FUTURE, she might be more of a mother to me than you ever did.”

Pain. Disgust. Disbelief. They shambled behind Artemia’s eyes, sparkled against the low lit room. In their nearness, Stacey saw it so clearly. But she was confused.

Am I seeing it as it is? Or am I only seeing what I wanted to see in her eyes all my life?

“Are you listening to what you’re saying, Stacey?” mahigpit ang tono nito.

Nanatili ang nagmamatapang niyang tingin dito. Hindi siya nagpatinag.

“For such a long time, I’ve been so alone, always on my own. I never felt someone got my back. I never completely knew how it felt to have someone to lean on, to depend on. I never stopped working, taking care of myself. Nagkaroon lang ako ng pahinga sa lahat ng ito nang mahalin ako ni Renante,” mabilis ngunit mabigat niyang paliwanag sa ina. “He is someone that I can lean on, someone I can depend on. Someone I trust. In times when the world gets so tiring, Renante had been there to take care of me, to take me in his arms to talk to, to pour my heart out to— something that my parents failed to do.”

Dahan-dahang dumistansya si Artemia.

“I won’t lose Renante just because you want me to. Ano ang gusto niyo? Habambuhay na lang ako mag-isa? Tulad ninyo ni Dad na laging magkalayo?”

Napailing lang si Artemia. Nahulog ito saglit sa malalim na pag-iisip bago binalik ang malamlam na tingin sa kanya. Her poise only wavered, then it came back stronger. Firmer.

“I’ll be back here on Monday morning. Siguro naman, sa mga oras na ‘yon, wala kayo sa bahay. You’re both busy running business or doing your jobs or something.” Pinatatag nito ang sarili. Kumapit sa nalalabing dignidad na natitira rito. “Just set a schedule on Monday so we won’t cross paths here. I just really needed to film this house.”

Napatitig si Stacey sa kanyang nanay. She was searching for regret in her eyes. Just a slight quiver of guilt on her red lips. A deep etch on her face as deep as the scar her indifference caused Stacey since she was a little girl.

Mula noon hanggang ngayon, hindi talaga kayang magbaba ng pride ni Artemia kahit para man lang sa kanya na sarili nitong anak. Artemia would not even apologize for her shortcomings as a parent. As usual, she tossed aside her sentiments about it.

Hindi maintindihan ni Stacey kung bakit masakit na ito na naman ang nangyari.

Dapat, nasanay na siya.

Naka-button-down pajama shirt si Renante at boxers nang madatnan ni Stacey sa silid nito. Silid na gamit noon ng namayapa niyang Tito Manuel.

Dahil ginagamit ni Renante ang silid, mas maayos na ang pagkakasalansan ng mga lumang canvas boards at iba pang materyales sa pagpe-painting. Naipon ang mga iyon sa isang sulok ng silid, magkakasandal sa tabi ng isang pader. Ang mga pain brush, palettes at paint tubes ay nakatabi sa isa sa mga cabinet kasama ng mga sketchbooks.

Lumapit si Stacey sa cabinet na hanggang balakang niya ang taas. Maingat niyang pinatong doon ang magkakapatong na laptop at journals. Nasa pinakaibabaw ang kanyang smartphone.

Renante gave her a warm smile. Parang gusto niya tuloy maiyak kasi sa kabila ng init ng pagtanggap ng binata sa kanya, wala itong kamalay-malay sa mga isyu na unti-unting pumapalibot sa kanilang relasyon.

“How’s your mom?”

Shit. Nauna pa nitong kumustahin ang kanyang ina. Lalong lumambot ang puso niya para sa lalaki.

“Napagalitan ka ba?” mahina itong natawa.

Napagalitan? Ano siya? Menor de edad na kailangang pagalitan ni Artemia kapag nahuling nakikipag-make out? She’s already 33, for Pete’s sake.

“Baka pagod lang siya sa biyahe,” patuloy ni Renante. Nakalapit na ito sa kanya. Maingat itong humawak sa kanyang mga braso, sa bandang mga siko, bago siya nilapatan ng malambing na halik sa noo. Then, he pressed his lips against her lips.

And that alone was enough.

It was enough to calm the storm of emotions swirling a devastating tornado in her chest.

She softly smiled at him.

“Pinahiram mo ba sa Mama mo ang kwarto mo? You can sleep here. You can sleep in my arms. All the time,” he thumbed her cheek dearly, cocked his head to the side while admiring her face. “Kaya lang, ang tagal ninyong hindi nagsama ng nanay mo. You might want to stay with her tonight , catch up on all the years you missed each other.”

She was about to protest but Renante got ahead of her.

“It’s alright. Ang nanay mo, saglitan mo lang nakakasama, pero ako, habambuhay mo na ako makakasama.”

Is… Is he…

Ilang segundong nakipagtitigan si Stacey kay Renante bago niya napagtanto na hindi. Hindi pa.

Hindi pa ito magpopropose.

Of course, why would her boyfriend propose marriage at a very random moment?

Nangingiting tumango-tango siya. She felt defeated now.

“Mom is not staying here. Umalis din siya pagkatapos namin mag-usap.”

Si Renante naman ang tila nalungkot.

“That’s sad. Hindi ko man lang siya nabati o nakumusta.”

“Like what you said, she’s tired from her flight. Sumaglit lang siya rito. Umalis din dahil… I don’t know. She probably find it awkward to stay over here with her daughter and her daughter’s boyfriend. Lalo na at nahuli niya tayo sa sofa and everything.”

Mahina itong natawa. “Hay, naku.”

Natatawang napailing na lang si Stacey. “Hay naku talaga.”

Tinungo ni Renante ang dresser table. He was using it as his desk. Doon nakalapag ang laptop nito, kasama ang notepad, isang planner na may sipitan ng ballpen, at smartphone.

He picked up his smartphone.

“Oo nga pala, I received a text from Sonny. Bukas matutuloy na raw ang opening ng bakeshop niya. We’re invited.”

Namilog ang mga mata ni Stacey. She hadn’t checked her phone yet since Renante got home.

“Bukas?” dampot ni Stacey sa saeiling smartphone at tsinek iyon.

May text message galing kay Sondra.

Renante noticed the rush on her face. And as usual, he was always calm about everything.

“Don’t worry. We still have time to prepare. Alas-kwatro ng hapon ang grand opening ng Sondra’s.”

Napatingin siya kay Renante. Iniwan niya ang pagbasa sa text message na halos hindi pa niya nakakalahati.

“Sondra’s? That’s what she named her bakeshop?”

Tikom-bibig itong ngumiti at tumango-tango.

Naihilig saglit ni Stacey ang ulo, napatitig kay Renante.

“You’re proud of her, aren’t you?” her heart broke.

“I think so. More of, happy for her.” Umupo si Renante sa tabi ng kama. “Imagine, it took her this long to realize that her passion is baking.”

Stacey lowered her head. Hawak pa rin niya ang sariling cellphone.

“Hey.” May pag-aalala sa boses ni Renante, napaangat tuloy siya ng tingin dito.

“What with the long face, boo?”

“Don’t take it out of context but…” napailing siya.

“You know it’s okay. You don’t have to always keep to yourself and act strong all the time. We’ve been through that already before.”

Hindi pa rin niya binabalik ang tingin kay Renante.

“Right?”

She looked at him again. Binalik niya sa ang cellphone sa ibabaw ng journal at sinugod ang lalaki sa kama.

Stacey sat on his lap, hung her arms upon his shoulders, and rested the side of her head against his right shoulder.

“She’s always so lucky,” she mellow smiled.

“Iyan na naman tayo, eh,” nakangiting silip nito sa kanyang mukha. “You got me. So, who’s luckier?” magaang biro nito.

Natampal tuloy niya ito sa balikat.

“Naman, eh! That’s not it!” pigil niya ang matawa. “I am happy for her, okay?” That’s true. It was nice seeing people doing well. She only used to hate Sondra because she had been a threat to her when it comes to Renante’s affection. She used to hate her because she’s so dependent, a damsel in distress who always needed to ask for other people’s help.

But now that she’s with Renante, hating on Sondra is useless. And after what happened to her and her stalker, Stacey has learned the value of asking for Renante’s help… of asking for other people’s help.

Because there are times when we cannot deal with things all alone, on our own.

Hindi kabawasan sa pagkatao ng isang tao ang humingi ng tulong o magpaalalay sa iba.

Stacey learned the lesson, and right now, she’s trying her best to apply what she learned.

She’s really trying.

“Then, what bothers my boo about this?” halik ni Renante sa kanyang noo bago binaba ang tingin, sinalubong ang kanyang mga mata.

“I just hope I’ll also find out what I am really passionate about. Kung ano talaga ang passion ko…” tingin niya sa kawalan. “Kapag nangyari ‘yon, I’m sure, never kong pagsasawaang gawin iyon.”

“Are you not passionate with the woven bags?”

Pumitik ang kaba sa kanyang dibdib. She hadn’t told Renante yet about selling Hibla. About being literally jobless, not earning money as of the moment.

“Sometimes, we do something out of our need… pero hindi natin ‘yon passion.” She sighed, scooted closer to him. Her arms hugged his neck tighter. The side of her forehead pressed against the side of his jaw. “I come up with good business ideas, but they are not really what I am passionate about. Remember my jewelry business before? Binenta ko rin nung napagsawaan ko na.”

“Iyan ang hirap sa’yo, eh. Kapag napagsawaan mo na, nile-let go mo na agad.” Nasa malumanay nitong tinig ang pag-unawa. “May times na kahit passionate ka sa ginagawa mo, makakaramdam ka pa rin ng frustration. Nagsasawa ka. Parang gusto mo na mag-quit. But that’s where your passion gets its fuel, Stace. When you feel utterly tired, when you feel down, when you feel bored too.”

“Am I not supposed to know I am passionate about something first, before I pursue it?” Stacey was desperate. She was pleading Renante to enlighten her. “Kapag nawalan na kasi ako ng interes o wala na akong maisip na bagong idea, I take that as a signal to change course.”

“Sometimes, you just discover it along the way. Before you let go, always make sure—” Inalis ni Renante sa balikat nito ang isa niyang kamay para hawakan nito at masuyong pisil-pisilin, “—that it’s because you don’t want it anymore. Not because you’re not willing to go through the challenges for the business.”

Their eyes met. Stacey was at awe at her boyfriend’s godly confidence.

“Do something like this. Isipin mo, kapag ba walang challenges gusto ko pa ring gawin ang bagay na ito? At kapag ba may challenges, gusto ko pa rin gawin ang bagay na ito? If the answers are both yes, may potential na maging passionate ka sa bagay na ito.”

He smiled and kissed her knuckles. Renante looked at her again.

“Because when you’re passionate about something, you’d love to go through anything for it. Both the highs and the lows. Either way, you never lose your fire, your interest.”

Nginitian niya si Renante. Medyo may agam-agam pa siya kung tama ba ang kanyang intindi. Kung darating pa ba ang araw na mararamdaman niya ang passion na nilalarawan ng mga salita ni Renante.

Pero isa lang ang sigurado. Nakaramdam siya ng pag-asa. Sinuksok ni Stacey muli ang sarili sa binata.

“I love you, boo,” pikit mata niyang ngiti.

He released a soft laugh. “I love you too.”

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***

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EIGHT CARS WERE IN THE OPEN-SPACE PARKING IN FRONT OF SONDRA’S. The name of the shop was contoured by a bright yellow neon light, and outlined by dark-gold paint on the background, encased in a  lead glass topped with a crystal clear acrylic glass.

A small outline of a half of a marigold flower was painted at the background, making it appear on the upper part of the shop’s name, at the upper right of the letter O. The signage was a cutout positioned against the transparent glass wall designed with planks a few feet away from one another on the upper right of the shop’s second floor.

Sa pagpunta sa grand opening ng bakeshop ni Sondra, ginamit nila Stacey ang kanyang pulang Corvette. Naipon na ang mga pili-piling bisita sa paanan ng hagdanan patungo sa front porch ng shop.

Nawala lang sa shop ang kanyang tingin nang pagbuksan ni Renante ng pinto. Ito rin ang mismong nagmamaneho ng sasakyang gamit nila kaya nagulat siya nang maunahan nito makababa. She carefully placed a hand on his palm and allowed him to guide her all the way to the front of the shop.

It was a two storey square structure with walls mostly made of glass. Gawa sa konkreto ang bubong na sumisilong sa front porch. A black iron-wrought railing slid on both sides of the white concrete stairs that connected to the porch’s balusters. Kumulot ang pasamano sa dulo. Sa magkabilang tabi ng hagdan pinuwesto ang berdeng-berdeng mga halaman.

A ribbon stretched across the door. A pair of flower tripod arrangements consisting of yellow and white flowers stood on either side of the glass door as well.

Sondra was already standing in front of the ribbon in her tie-knot strap dress in a vibrant mustard color with a cut in the abdomen-part, flexing her smooth toned abs.

The yellow ribbon was cut and Sondra turned to beam at everyone who attended at the grand opening. Tinabihan na ito ng asawang si Maximillian na buhat ang bunso nilang anak sa isang braso. Isang batang lalaki na nasa tatlong taong gulang. He had a light brown hair, almost blondish. Bumitaw naman sa nakababang kamay ni Maximillian ang pitong taong gulang na batang babae. Sinubukan itong habulin ng lolo nitong si Samuel na kasama rin sa grand opening, pero nakayakap na agad ang bata sa mga binti ni Sondra.

The little girl, Sandra, wore a pair of jeans and a white blouse with pretty frilly sleeves. Her straight light brown hair cascaded smoothly on her back and over her shoulders, topped with a pink flowery headband. Nangingiting hinawakan ito ni Sondra sa kamay. Sandra looked up and smiled back to her mother.

Bukod sa pamilya ni Sondra, nakilala rin ni Stacey ang iba pang dumalo sa grand opening. Naroon si Cynthia kasama ang bago nitong boyfriend. Magkatabi naman sila Fritzie at Kylie. Kylie was already attentive with Sondra, but held her cellphone close to her chest. Wishful for Stacey to show up at the grand opening.

Sumunod na silang lahat sa loob ng bakeshop.

As soon as Stacey stepped in, she already took in the scent of milk and flour. Of sweet and savory. Baked pastries, fruits, and chocolate. It filled the cool room with a circulating aroma of gentle deliciousness.

A few seats scattered aesthetically inside the shop. Most furniture were made of light-shaded wood, yellow cushions with yellow stripes and marigold flower logos where they should be. A few floor plants here and there, small shelves with flowery plants, figurines or books. Very ideal for picture-taking and social media flexing.

On the far right end of the spacious room were the cashier counter and yellow-lighted glass display of baked goods. One glass display for goods that needed to stay warm, the other for goods that needed to be served chill. May glass display ng pagkain na nakasandal sa pader na natatanging accessible sa mga customers. Self-serving ang isa sa mga policy ng bakeshop kaya may katabi iyon na mga tongs at trays.

“Like it?” nakangiting tanong ni Renante sa kanya.

Nasa paligid pa rin ang paningin ni Stacey.

“Love it,” she replied, breathless, almost speechless. That’s why she spoke in a low tone.

“Mamaya na siguro natin sila i-congratulate,” ani Renante bago tinanaw ulit sila Sondra. “They already have their hands full.”

Ang daming nakapalibot kina Sondra— mga malalapit na kaibigan at kamag-anak. Nakatakas ang panganay nilang si Sandra, nakatuon na ang mga kamay habang pinagmamasdan sa glass display ang mga cake.

“Yes.”

“Let’s find a seat?”

She turned to Renante. “Sumilip muna tayo sa displays. Tikman na natin ang mga pastries nila rito.”

“Let’s just look,” Renante took her hand. “At saka na tayo umorder, kapag narinig na natin kung ano ang ire-recommend sa atin ni Sonny.”

That sounds like a good idea. Nakangiting tumango-tango siya.

“Stacey,” hawak ng kung sino sa kanyang balikat.

Napalingon siya sa likuran. Tuluyang napaharap nang makilala kung sino ang tumawag sa kanya.

“I knew it’s you,” malapad na ngiti ni Piccollo Hawthorne sa kanya.