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RAQUEL

Friends...

What was I thinking when I said that?

I am dying to text him. He hasn't contacted me much, just texted me saying he's dealing with something, that he'll talk to me soon. It's been several days now.

How the fuck does he plan to win my affection this way? Did something happen with Samy? What if he decided to give up and doesn't want to fight for me anymore? My mind has wandered through a variety of options that border on insanity. That's it, I'm going crazy. Could that be his plan? To ignore me so I'll give in and take him back like it's nothing? Ha! In your dreams, Greek god.

I grunt, closing the book in my hands and putting my face on the table. Dani sighs next to me.

"It seems that the punishment you imposed on him is affecting you more," Dani turns the page of the book she is reading. "He's never been easy to understand, so I don't know why you're so surprised."

I mess up my hair in frustration.

"I'm supposed to be in control now, but this silence is killing me."

"Maybe that's his plan, don't you think? That you'll miss him so much that when you see him, you'll jump all over him, forgetting about starting out as friends."

"You think so?"

"Shhhhhhh!" the librarian hushes us.

We both gave her a smile. We came here to see if we could finally finish reading the book the literature teacher assigned us. I like to read, but that teacher only assigns us outdated and boring books. I'd like to say I appreciate a good classic, although that would be lying.

"The exam is tomorrow, we'll never finish reading it," I murmur carefully so as not to attract the librarian's attention.

Dani pats me on the back.

"Have some faith, we are already on page 26."

I cover my face.

"26 of 689 pages, we are lost."

I can't remember the last time I read a book from the assignments. How have I survived this subject without reading? And then I remember: Joshua, he really liked to read everything. He would always help us with these assignments and in return we would help him with any other subjects he had difficulty with.

A wave of sadness sweeps over me as I remember him, we used to come the three of us to read together and do our homework here. Why did he have to betray me like that, why, how could he throw away a lifelong friendship like that? His sweet smile invades my mind, the way he adjusted his glasses as he wrinkled his nose.

I like you very much, Raquel, I really like you.

I can clearly remember the vulnerability on his face when he said that. Would that be the problem? Did he get carried away by his feelings? That doesn't justify it, but at least it explains it; I have done so many stupid things too because of my feelings for Ares. I can't deny how much I miss Joshua, he's always been a part of my life and I care about him so much despite everything.

Ah, men in my life are anything but normal.

I am so deep in my thoughts that I don't notice the person standing in front of our table until his hand places 4 sheets of paper and two coffees in front of us. I look up to find the person who was in my thoughts a few seconds ago.

Joshua gives us a smile.

"This is the summary of the book, it has key points that only a person who read it would know, I think you will be fine if you read and study this."

Before I can say anything, he turns and leaves. Dani and I share a surprised look. She picks up the sheets and goes through them.

"He's crazy...," she continues leafing through, "but this? It's perfectly worded and understandable! God, thank you! And coffee..." she kisses the coffee. "I must say I don't hate him so much anymore, this-" Dani stops cold when she looks at me. "Oh, I'm sorry. I got a little excited. We don't have to accept his help if it makes you uncomfortable."

It's not that... His smile, his willingness to help. It was so genuine in his expression.

Joshua has always been so easy to read, so opposite of Ares, that with his cold expression he doesn't let me know anything. Even now when I'm supposed to be in control of the situation, I don't know what he's thinking or what he wants, or how I'm supposed to interpret his silence. I wish I could read Ares the same way I can read Joshua. It's understandable though, because I have a lifetime knowing Joshua, and Ares only a few months.

Time...

Is that what I need to understand this crazy man?

"Raquel?" Dani waves her hand in front of my eyes. "Are we going to accept this or not?"

I hesitate for a moment, but there's no point in turning it back anyway. Joshua won't know if we use it or not.

"We will accept it."

We spent the rest of the afternoon reading the summary and studying for the test.

#

Friday

"We passed!" Dani shouts, checking the grades on the site.

"Ahhh!" I jump up and hug her tightly as we spin around, jumping like crazy.

We separate, screaming again and hugging again. We haven't left even though the last class is over, we were waiting to see if the teacher posted the grades from this morning's test.

"What's all the fuss?" Carlos appears at our side.

We separate again and Dani pinches his cheeks.

"Leech! We passed the Literature exam."

"Ow!" Carlos breaks free, stroking his cheeks. "Really? We need to celebrate, it's on me."

"For the first time, you say something intelligent," Dani gives him five, surprising us both. She must be in a very good mood to accept an invitation from Carlos.

Joshua comes out of one of the classrooms and walks in our direction. He's wearing his backpack on his side, and a hooded sweater, with his unruly brown hair escaping to the sides of his face, as his honey eyes meet mine and, for a moment, his steps waver as if he doesn't know what to do, but he finally decides to move forward.

Carlos opens his mouth to say something, but Dani grabs his arm, and shakes his head. Joshua passes me by one side, lowering his gaze. I know I should at least say thank you, but the words don't seem to want to come out of my mouth. Will I ever be able to forgive him?

Am I being hypocritical for giving Ares so many chances and not being able to give my best friend a second chance?

These are questions to which I still do not have an answer. Dani seems to read my mind and turns to him.

"Hey," Joshua stops and turns to us slightly. "Thank you."

He just smiles at us and continues on his way. However, I can't help but notice the sadness in his eyes, that sorrow that has been present since he tried to explain to me why he had betrayed me, when he brought the summary to the library, and now when he has just given us a smile that's so fake it fails to remove even a hint of the helplessness in his eyes.

For the first time, I put myself in his shoes, Joshua has no other friends. His friends have always been Dani and me. Socializing has not been his forte, he has usually been labeled as the class nerd, only approached for notes or help. He has always been in his world of comics, books and video games.

He must be so lonely now...

Dani appears at my side and takes my hand, squeezing it.

"He made his own decisions," I look at her. How can she read my mind so well? "You're having a hard time because of him. It's okay if you feel bad, but don't feel forced to forgive him, take your time."

I manage to smile and, taking one last look down the hallway where he disappeared, I try to focus on the fact that I passed the test.

"Well, I think we should go."

Carlos smiles from ear to ear, and hugs me sideways. "To celebrate with the owner of my heart!"

Dani grabs him by the ear.

"Don't get clingy or you won't go with us."

"Ouch! Ouch! Got it."

We leave the high school, annoying Carlos because he didn't pass the test and yet he's going to celebrate with us. I'm laughing when I cross the corner into the parking lot and my eyes meet that black truck I know very well. I stop in my tracks.

Dani and Carlos go on ahead without me for a few steps until they realize I have stopped and stop, turning to me.

Dani gives me a confused look.

"What's wrong?"

My poor heart feels it before my eyes can see it, and it begins to pound desperately in my chest. I stop breathing, clenching my sweaty hands at my sides. My stomach feels funny. God, I had forgotten the effect that being has on me.

And then it happens...

Ares gets out of the car, closes the door and leans his back against it. He puts his hands inside the pockets of the black leather jacket he's wearing. He looks as beautiful as ever, if not more. He looks at me and the world around me disappears as those blue eyes meet mine.

I missed you so much...

I want to run to him, jump up and hug him so tight until he complains he can't breathe. I want to take his face in my hands and kiss him until I run out of air. I want to feel him against me, with his warmth enveloping me.

But I can't...

And that hurts.

Where have you been, you idiot, that you've made me miss you so much?

I focus on the anger and frustration I feel for not hearing from him this week. I try to push away the urges I feel to run to him and have him give me a hug while spinning me around like in the movies, because this is reality, and if he doesn't learn now, he will never learn how to value me.

I have to be strong.

Catching my breath, I calm my heart and walk towards him, passing by Dani and Carlos.

"I'll be right back."

As I walk towards him, I can't help but think about what I'm wearing. My worn-out jeans, old boots and pink wool sweater aren't the best thing in my closet, but how was I supposed to know that Ares would show up out of nowhere here? At least my hair is in a decent ponytail. I stop in front of him, up close he looks even more handsome. How does he have such long, beautiful eyelashes? I'm so envious!

Focus, Raquel!

Crossing my arms over my chest, I lift my chin.

"His Majesty decided to honor us with his presence," I joked.

Ares smiles, and my control wavers. Without warning, he takes my hand and pulls me to him. I crash against his chest, his fine scent makes me feel safe. He puts his arms around me in a tight embrace, I feel his breath on my head and then he leans in to whisper something in my ear.

His voice is as soft and calm as ever.

"I missed you too, witch."

Like an idiot, I smile against his jacket and close my eyes.