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CHAPTER 29

My first instinct is to run away.

I don't know why, after thinking about him all night, looking for him with my eyes throughout the party, now that I have him a few steps from me, I want to run away.

Who understands me?

Ares hasn't even bothered to turn around to look at me fully and still manages to speed up my breathing and my heart. His very presence is imposing and the tension on the balcony is too much for me. Like a coward, I turn towards the door again but before I can reach its knob, he moves in quick steps and gets in my way, blocking it.

I always forget how tall he is, how beautiful and perfect every feature of his face is, and the intensity of his eyes. I look down, backing away but Ares moves with me, forcing me back until my back collides with the balcony railing.

"Running away?" His voice is cold and it makes me shiver.

"No." I shake my head, and I get a little dizzy.

I keep my eyes on his chest, not even the courage that alcohol gives me is enough to face him. The scent of his cologne hits my nose and I fight not to close my eyes and inhale exaggeratedly. I missed his smell, his presence and the ability he has to make me feel everything without even touching me.

"Look at me," he orders, but I refuse to, "Look at me, Rachel."

Reluctantly, I obey, the infinite ocean of his eyes is splendid in the moonlight. Unintentionally, my gaze drops to his lips that look wet.

I clear my throat, "I... should go," I try to step aside to pass him, but he puts both arms against the railing locking me in.

"What are you doing up here?" He presses me, "Did you come looking for me?"

I huff, "Of course not, the world doesn't revolve around you."

He gives me that stupid smirk that suits him so well, "Not the world. But you do."

His arrogant statement annoys me, and I push him, but he doesn't move.

"Get off!"

"Why? Do I make you nervous?"

I roll my eyes, feigning disinterest, "Of course not."

"So why are you shaking?" I don't know what to say, so I just look away, "You're shaking and I haven't even touched you, and don't worry, I won't either."

Why?

I almost ask it out loud but I don't say it. He's out of my life, I have to keep my word this time.

Silence reigns between us and I dare to look up, his expression impassive as always, how can he not feel anything? How do you have me this close, and not show a single emotion? As I shudder, struggling to keep my feelings in check, he looks so normal, so calm.

So why doesn't he let me go if he doesn't care about me?

Why is he blocking my way?

And then a tide of emotions overwhelms me. Ares has hurt me a lot. However, he doesn't seem to want to get out of my life either. Maybe he sees me like an easy girl or I'm a game to him. But I'm already tired of hanging on, of expecting from him what he will never give me. He's not interested in being with me, he hasn't fought any of the times I told him I'd cut him out of my life. And the truth is, I take part of the blame, he was honest with me from the beginning, he told me what he wanted and I gave it to him, willingly.

The memory of that day in his playroom comes to mind.

His face impatient, waiting for me to leave.

His hand offering me the phone, like paying for my services.

Squeezing my hands, I hit his chest over and over, "Let me go!" Get off!" I manage to move him aside and get away from him. I stagger in the direction of the balcony door, my stomach twisting.

No, not now, don't vomit now, Rachel.

It's not the right time.

I get so dizzy that I grab onto a metal chair by the door. And I fall sitting on it. Cold sweat runs down my forehead, "I don't feel very well."

Ares appears next to me in a second, "What did you expect? You drank too much."

I don't know how he manages to understand my babbling, "How do you know I drank too much? I—"

And I just throw up.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I gloriously vomit in front of the boy I'm in love with. This clearly qualifies as the most unpleasant and embarrassing time of my life.

Ares holds my hair as I vomit horribly on the wooden balcony floor. Tears flow from my eyes from the effort of each gag. When I'm done, I feel like I've had another whole bottle of alcohol. I can't even keep my body, I'm like a rag doll.

Apparently vomiting makes me even more drunk more. I always thought it would be the opposite.

From then on, everything becomes so blurry and Ares' voice is so far away.

ARES

I make a face of disgust when I see Rachel finish vomiting. I hold her head because she can't seem to keep her body standing or sitting or in any way anymore. I take her face in my hands, and blow on it, to refresh her. Her eyes are half closed, and she gives me a goofy smile.

"Smells like cigarettes and mint gum," she says, giggling, "That's sooo like you."

I remove some strands of hair that have stuck to her face from the sweat. She tries to slap my hand but fails, her arms not fully answering her, "You don't have to help me, Greek God, I'm fine."

I raise an eyebrow, "Is that so? Get up then."

"Just go and leave me here, I'll be fine."

I should leave her here, she is not my favorite person after seeing her kiss that nerd.

Don't think about it, Ares.

Releasing a weary sigh, I help her up and when she is standing, I bend down a little and I pass one arm behind her knees and the other behind her back to carry her. Only whispers leave her mouth when I walk inside through the balcony door.

Carrying her across the hallway is not difficult, she is not heavy and I am used to carrying heavier weights with the team workouts. I go into the only room that hasn't been used as a motel today. How do I know? Because my friends are inside, playing video games while they drink.

The first to see me when I enter is Marco.

"Let me guess," Marco acts like he's thinking, "Rachel?"

The brunette I brought a while ago who is sitting on Gregory's lap, speaks, "Who is she?"

Luis shrugs, "Ask Ares, I still haven't understood what those two are playing."

Rachel mutters, "Put me down!"

Giving everyone a serious look, I reply, "Everyone out, now."

Marco raises an eyebrow, "Really? What do you need privacy for? She is drunk."

"And she smells like vomit," the brunette comments making a face.

I'm not saying anything, I just look at them.

Marco raises his hands, releasing the control of the console, "Roger that, my captain," the sarcasm in his tone is obvious but I ignore it.

Gregory pats the brunette on the thigh, "Let's go, babe."

After they leave, I lock the door and take Rachel to the bathroom. I did not want my friends to see her like this, but this is the only room that I know that has not been used for casual sex tonight. Who knows what kind of things the other rooms will have, I couldn't expose her to that.

Not her.

I lower her into the bathtub and she remains sitting there, her head leaning against the wall to one side.

"You vomited your clothes and all over yourself,"  I tell her starting to pull the flowered white flannel she wears over her head, she protests but managed to take it off. Her breasts are exposed, looking as perfect as I remember them, not too big and not too small, just the right size for her body.

This is not the time, Ares.

Glancing to the side for a second, I take a deep breath and look at her again. I twist my lips, why isn't she wearing a bra? I wasn't expecting to see her breasts when I took the shirt off. Anyway, she has the right to choose what to wear, it just surprised me.

I slide her skirt down to her heels, my eyes roaming her legs. Her underwear is black. I swallow thick, focusing on what I'm doing. I turn on the faucet and she lets out a cry as the cold water falls on her head.

"Co-cold." she stutters, her wet hair sticking to both sides of her face.

Without looking at her, I run the soap over her body, my eyes on the wall on one side. The flesh is weak and I have always wanted her more than I allow myself to admit.

After helping her to brush her teeth awkwardly, I wrap a towel around her body and carry her to sit her on the bed, "Ares..."

"Huh?"

"I'm cold."

She must be, the air conditioning in the house is on full blast to keep the house cool with so many people inside. Rachel seems to have regained a little more strength after the bath, and can at least sit. I help her dry off and toss the wet towel on the floor.

My eyes travel over her naked body and I could admire it all night but she's drunk and this is not the time to be looking at her like that.

I unbutton my shirt quickly, Rachel laughs, "What are you doing?"

I take it off and put it on her, buttoning it, pushing the temptation of her body out of my sight. My shirt fits her so well.

"Lie down, you'll feel better after getting some sleep."

She shakes her head, "No, I'm not sleepy." She crosses her arms on her chest like a spoiled child, "Tell me a story."

"Just lie down."

"No."

She looks determined, I force her to lie down and I sit by her side, leaning my back on the headboard of the bed, "Tell me a story." she sticks to my side, passing her hand over my abdomen, side-hugging me and I let her, because it feels fucking good to feel her against me after I've missed her so much.

I stroke her hair, deciding what to say.

She will not remember this tomorrow, the freedom of being able to tell her whatever motivates me so I start, "Once upon a time, there was a boy who believed that his parents were the perfect match, that his home was the best in the world." I smile to myself, "A very naive child."

What am I saying? Why is it so easy for me to talk to her?

She clings closer to me, her nose brushing my ribs, "And what happened to that boy?"

"The boy admired her father, he was his pillar, his example to follow. A strong, successful man. Everything was perfect, maybe too much. The father traveled often on business, leaving his children and his wife alone very often," I close my eyes, taking a deep breath, "One day the boy came home from school earlier than expected after getting an A on a difficult math test. He ran upstairs looking for his mother, he wanted her to be proud of him. When he entered her room...

White sheets, naked bodies.

I push those images out of my mind, "The boy's mother was with another man who was not his father. After that, everything became meaningless explanations, begs and tears but for the child it all sounded so far away, his mind was elsewhere, the sense of home, of the perfect family faded in front of his eyes no matter what her mother said."

I stop, hoping that Rachel has already fallen asleep, but she hasn't, "Go on, I want to know what's next."

"The boy told his older brother and they both waited for their father to come home to tell him. After many discussions and empty threats, the father forgave her. The two children saw their father bend, forget his pride, cry inconsolably in the darkness of his study. That strong man, a pillar for those children, looking weak and hurt. Since that day, their father has tirelessly reminded them that love makes them weak. The child learned not to trust anyone, not to become fond of anyone, not to give anyone the power to weaken them and thus he grew up like that and hopes to be alone forever. The end."

I look at the girl next to me and her eyes are closed but she speaks, "What a sad ending."

"Life can be sadder than it seems."

"I don't like that ending," she grunts, "I'll imagine that in the end he did meet someone and they fell in love and lived happily ever after."

I laugh, "Of course you will, witch."

"I'm sleepy."

"Sleep."

"Ares?"

"Yes?"

"Do you believe love is a weakness?"

Her question doesn't surprise me, "It is."

"Is that why you've never fallen in love?"

"Who said I've never fallen in love?"

"Have you?"

I sigh, and look at her, "I think so."

Her breathing has become light, her eyes closed. She finally fell asleep, I smile like an idiot watching her, seeing her sleep fills me with peace.

What are you doing to me, you stalking witch?

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Author's note: Brooooo, when Ares looked at her and said I think so, I really felt that.

Your comments and votes have made me update this more often. Thank you as always. 

Ariana G.