Time passed as usual for Taehyung until the day before the trial came. He wasn't sleeping well in the meantime — he couldn't sleep with ease and he woke up even before his alarm clock. He was an anxious mess about Jeongguk's trial. He was also restless about what Jeongguk said to him the last time they met.

Am I? Or are you lying to yourself as I was doing for so long?

He couldn't deny that he had feelings for him. But he refused to believe that Jeongguk also had feelings. How could he just trust him after everything?

He stayed at home to go over his notes and rehearse his speech. But that process didn't go smoothly as it did with his other trials. He was so harried he couldn't even focus on what he was reading. And it was just a rehearsal. He dreaded to think how nervous he would be at the actual trial.

With his shaky hands, he grabbed his keys and coat and stormed out of his house. He couldn't do this anymore. He had to find a way to calm down. And so he headed to his friends' house and repeatedly rang the doorbell when he arrived.

Alarmed, Namjoon dashed to the door and opened it. "Tae, what's—"

"Guys, I can't—I can't do this," he blurted out as he entered the house and started pacing in the living room.

"Tae, you're freaking out," Hoseok uttered as he walked closer to him.

"I know that! I can't do this! He'll go to jail because I'm a failure and I can't do anything right! I'm not good enough to help him. I'll ruin his life if I represent him."

Shocked at his sudden outburst, Hoseok stared at the boy with wide eyes as Namjoon carefully placed a hand on his back and guided him to sit on the couch.

"This case is too personal for you, Tae," Namjoon said. "That's why you're feeling like this, that's why you're freaking out so much. But at the end of the day, it's just another trial. If you think that you're representing Jeongguk, the boy you slept with and have feelings for, you will have a breakdown tomorrow and ruin everything. But if you think that you're representing Jeongguk, a nineteen-year-old boy who recklessly broke into a store and hit someone out of fear, you have a chance to win this. You are a great lawyer who has helped so many people. You're the only one who can help Jeongguk. The reckless boy and not the one you slept with."

A moment of silence followed as Taehyung's breathing gradually returned to normal. His body stopped shivering and his heartbeat slowed down as he let out a sigh.

"You're amazing at your job, Tae. You have to believe that you can do it if you want to have a chance to win this. You worked so hard for this case and you're fully prepared to do this. All that's left now is to believe in yourself. You should give your best, and even if you lose, it won't matter. Because you'll know you gave your all." Hoseok patted his back, hoping to soothe him.

"I can't help but get nervous, guys," Taehyung whispered, rubbing his face in frustration.

"It's okay. It's normal to be nervous. But you can't let that affect you. You're strong, Tae. You can do this." Namjoon gave him a supportive smile.

"Thank you, guys. I love you so much." He muffled both in his embrace, eliciting a few chuckles from them as they hugged him back.

"We love you too," Hoseok uttered with a warm smile.

They pulled back a while later, and Namjoon glanced at Taehyung. "You want a soju or something?"

"No, I'll visit Jeongguk later, and if I start drinking now, I don't think I'll stop anytime soon."

"Speaking of Jeongguk." Hoseok tittered lightly as he peered at him. "Did you meet?"

"Yeah, I visited him to talk about the trial," Taehyung said, and although he hesitated to continue, he released a soft sigh, and he did. "He told me about his parents."

"What? He—He opened up to you?" Hoseok questioned as both his and Namjoon's eyes popped.

"Yes. I can't tell you anything of course, but he opened up to me by himself. I didn't pressure him."

"We know you can't say anything but... is it really that bad?" Namjoon asked, unsure.

"It's bad. And complicated. And messed up. Also, I forgave him. It was too much for me. I was fighting with myself for a while, trying not to forgive him, but I couldn't do it anymore. I still care about him."

"You think he's truly sorry?" Hoseok asked.

"I think he is. You know, I told him that I don't want to continue doing what we were doing. And he said he doesn't want that either. He wants more."

His two friends shared a confused look and stared at Taehyung. "What does that mean?" Hoseok tilted his head to the side.

"What do you think it means?"

"More as in more between you two? As in a relationship?"

"What else could he mean other than that?" Taehyung murmured as a bitter smile surfaced on his lips.

"And what did you say?" Namjoon was just as surprised.

"I told him that he's lying. I can't believe him. After what he did, how can I just believe him?"

"But Tae, does he have a reason to lie?" Namjoon ventured to ask, voice quiet and soft.

Taehyung looked back and forth at his two friends, uneasiness coiling in his gut. "You don't... You don't think he's telling the truth, right?"

"As Namjoon said, does he have a reason to lie?"

Taehyung lowered his head in a daze as he mused over it. "He doesn't have a reason to lie?"

"He doesn't have a reason to lie, Tae. And especially since he said that after you forgave him."

With his words, Namjoon managed to confuse him wholly because Taehyung realized he was right. Jeongguk didn't have a reason to lie since Taehyung had already forgiven him.

"I-I have to leave. Thank you again." Taehyung gave them a small smile as he took hold of his coat.

"We'll see you tomorrow, Tae. You'll do great." Hoseok smiled back at him.

"Yes, don't let your anxiety take over you. You're an amazing lawyer." Namjoon nodded along with his words.

Taehyung uttered a faint 'thank you' once again and left the house. He was still shocked by the realization that struck him, but he had to meet Jeongguk to make sure he was ready for the trial. And so he drove to the police station, chewing on his bottom lip nonstop, as he was nervous to see him.

When he arrived, an officer told him where to go and wait for the younger boy, who didn't take long to appear.

Sitting across from each other once again, Taehyung gulped dryly as he forced a smile to his face and laid his eyes on him. "How are you?"

"I've been better." Although Jeongguk was happy to see him, he was also hit with an ocean of sadness because he could only see him.

"Tomorrow is your big day. Are you ready?"

"I think I am. You wanna hear what I'm gonna say?"

"No, I want to be surprised." Taehyung tried to lighten the mood with his teasing tone and managed to steal a small chuckle from him.

"Really? Shouldn't you know what I've prepared so you can help me improve it?"

"Not really. It's your view and thoughts on what happened. I won't interfere with that. As long as whatever you say is honest, it's okay. I just hope you don't have any curses in there."

Another faint chuckle left Jeongguk's lips. "There are no curses in my speech, don't worry."

They fell into silence for a while as Taehyung's eyes darted all around the table, and the younger couldn't help but observe his demeanor. "Are you ready, Mr. Kim?"

At his question, Taehyung tucked his face in his hands as a wave of anxiety caused his heartbeat to soar up. "No. I—I wanted to come here and give you s-support because I thought you'll be nervous, but I'm the only one who's freaking out apparently."

"Tae, can you look at me?" he asked in the softest way possible as he leaned against the table and extended his hand to him, unfolding his palm and waiting for him to hold it.

Hesitantly, Taehyung lowered his hands and stared at the table, contemplating if he should relent to his urge to hold his hand.

"It's okay if you don't want to give me your hand, but at least look at me please." Jeongguk detected his wary expression but didn't retract his hand. When Taehyung finally set his restless gaze on him, a smile stretched on his lips. "I won't blame you if we lose. I won't be mad at you, and I definitely won't think you're not good at your job. You don't believe in yourself, but I believe in you. I know you'll try your best to help me even if I don't deserve it. I can't thank you enough for this or for everything you have done for me. I also know you'll be excellent tomorrow and amazing as you are in everything you do. Whatever happens, I will always be grateful to you."

Hot tears trickled down Taehyung's cheeks as he grasped his hand. He hid his face with his other hand, his shoulders quivering, as he strove to breathe properly. "I d-don't want y-you to g-go to jail," he mumbled and let out a sonorous breath. "You don't d-deserve to—to be in h-here."

"I told you not to waste your tears on me." Jeongguk stroked his hand with his thumb soothingly. "I had a lot of time to think about many things in here, you know. If I end up in jail, it was meant to be this way. You won't be at fault at all. I'm the only one who'll be at fault because I chose to break into that store that night. As much as I regret doing that, I also don't regret it at all. Because if I hadn't done that, I wouldn't have met you. Maybe for you it would have been better this way since you wouldn't have gone through so much pain because of me. But I'm really happy I got to meet such an amazing and kindhearted person like you."

Taehyung wiped his tears with his sleeve as he sniffled. "Do you b-believe in destiny?"

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. And I believe that our decisions lead us where we are now. My decisions led me to jail but they also led me to you. And if jail is the price for that I'll take it."

"Are y-you saying goodbye, Jeongguk?"

The said boy smiled feebly as he cupped his hand. "Yes. I'm ready to serve my time. So if we lose don't let it break you. It's okay. I'll be okay."

"Why the sudden c-change? The last t-time, you said you couldn't do this anymore."

"I told you I had a lot of time to think about many things. I'm not gonna sit around and mope about my decisions because they led me to you. It's scary. And it's so lonely in here, but I have to endure it."

"You've endured a lot of things until now," Taehyung whispered with a mild sigh as he drew his hand away. He rose from his seat and brushed off his tears as he walked around the table to stand beside him. "I'll try my best so you won't have to endure this too." He held his hands and pulled him to his feet. Then he enfolded him into his arms and rested his chin on his shoulder.

Jeongguk, although throughout taken aback, didn't waste a second to girdle his torso with his arms, feeling a stream of warmth he needed desperately warm his blood and embrace his long-suffering heart.

"You're not a piece of shit, Kook. You've just made some bad decisions because of the rough situation you were in. I understand that. People can do anything when they're desperate. So don't feel bad about hurting me anymore. Knowing that you're sorry is enough for me. Knowing that you changed is enough for me."

Jeongguk clasped him tighter as he clamped his teeth in his lower lip, trying to control his emotions. "Are you saying goodbye, Taehyung?"

The older snorted as the corner of his lips twitched into a smile. "No. I'm thanking you for opening up to me. I'm thanking you for sharing a piece of your life with me. And I'm telling you to stop feeling bad about what happened. Just this morning I asked myself how can I trust you after what you did. But seeing how much you changed in a few days is amazing, and maybe a little scary too."

"How do you know I really changed?"

Taehyung pulled back enough to fix his gaze on him. He tucked a strand of hair behind his ear, keeping a faint smile on his face. "You said you won't blame me if we lose tomorrow. You didn't ask me to get you out of here. I could see that you meant what you said. And only if you really sat down and thought about these things you would be able to say them with such determination and sincerity. I know something changed inside you. Maybe the good I could see in you is finally surfacing. I'm happy to see that."

"I think... you are making it come to the surface," Jeongguk uttered in a hushed tone as he lowered his head.

"That makes me feel even better then. That's good." Taehyung chuckled, but seeing his face darken with a shade of sadness, his laugh piped down right away.

"It's not good. Because you'll be gone after the trial. Even if I don't end up in jail, I won't be able to have you in my life anymore."

"We can... We can still talk and be friends."

"We can't be friends, Taehyung. I can't be friends with you. All I can think about right now is to kiss you, and it hurts me that I can't. Seeing you and being unable to hold you or kiss you is torture. I said that seeing you is enough for me even if I'm not allowed to talk to you. I can't do that anymore. You may have made the good in me come to the surface, but you made the feelings I was suppressing for years come to the surface as well.

"That's why I cried so many times since you found out the truth. That's why I was and still am able to feel remorse about what I did to you. You unleashed my restrained emotions and also made me feel new ones. New ones that scare the shit out of me. So no, we can't be friends. You'll always be more than that to me."

Taehyung was at a loss for words. He endeavored to digest everything Jeongguk just said, but he couldn't. It was too much, and everything sounded daunting to him. He stepped back in a haze, his eyes vacantly staring at Jeongguk.

"You still think I'm lying?" he questioned in a whisper as he peered at his blank expression with a gloomy gaze. "It's okay. Thank you for everything you did for me. And thank you for the hug, I really needed that." He neared him and brushed his hair back, his eyes absorbing as much as they could from his gorgeous face. "I'll see you tomorrow, Mr. Kim. I know you'll be amazing as always."

Still dazed, Taehyung peeled his glazed eyes away and grabbed his things. "I'll fight for you," he muttered so quietly Jeongguk almost didn't hear it. "You should..." He trudged towards the door and opened it with his tremoring hand. "You should fight for me too." He slouched off then, still struggling to take in everything the younger said to him.

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