NANG MAKATAPOS NG ISA PANG PATTERN, pinutol ni Stacey ang yarn malapit sa ini-lock niyang parte para manatiling in-tact ang habi niya. May nakalapag sa mesa na cardboard kung saan niya dinikit ang unang mga pattern na hinabi. They were taking the form of the bold outline of a bag she was planning to design. Sinukat ni Stacey ang bagong pattern sa blangkong espasyo ng drawing. Napasarap siya sa ginagawa kaya mas mahaba iyon. She decided to glue the pattern. At saka na niya gugupitin para kahit maputol 'yung lock, at least, hindi masisira ang pagkakagawa niya.

While gluing, she heard her cellphone playing the call ringtone. Tinapos muna niya ang pagdidikit bago umusog sa patungan ng telepono sa dulo ng sofa. Katabi ng landline phone ang cellphone niya. Nagsalubong ang mga kilay ni Stacey nang makita ang pangalan ni Renante.

"Hello?"

Hi. How are you?

She took in a deep breath, scolded herself. Behave, my heart.

"I'm good," composed niyang sagot. "I'm doing well here, Mr. Villaluz."

"Just checking. After what happened to your car, I don't want your house to be next."

Napalunok siya. Was he testing her? Or was he intensifying her fear for that stalker to need Renante by her side?

"I'm sure it won't be, Mr. Villaluz," aniya habang chine-check ngayon kung basa pa ang glue, "as long as you're away from me."

"Hindi natin masasabi kung ano ang tumatakbo sa isip niya. You'll still need my help."

"I have always been able to manage, Mr. Villaluz," deretso niya ng upo.

Fine. If you say so, tila suko nito. That's rare. Humahaba ang pagtatalo nila dahil hindi si Renante 'yung tipo na nagpaparaya lalo na kung naniniwala ang binata na ito ang nasa katwiran.

Maybe she was right this time?

Of course! Of course, she's right!

Kaya niya. She can manage things on her own. She doesn't need a knight in shining armor.

She doesn't need Renante to protect her.

In fact, bringing him close to her would piss off her stalker...

But isn't that the original plan?

Ang inisin ang stalker niya para mahuli nila ito?

Was she changing her mind all of a sudden for the sake of Renante's safety?

Stacey, mariing ulit ni Renante sa pangalan niya.

"Sorry, may ginagawa kasi ako," dahilan na lang niya. "What is it again?"

I said, may alam ka bang bahay na for rent? 'Yung mabilisan sana ang transaction. 'Yung pwedeng mismong same day ng payment, pwede na ako lumipat.

Kumunot lalo ang noo niya. Nawala na sa isip ni Stacey ang pinapatuyong pagkakadikit ng yarn sa cardboard.

"Renante, I know we're rich kids, but I think you already have an idea that that kind of transaction doesn't exist. Sinong nagpaparenta ang ipapalipat ka kaagad sa rerentahan mong bahay? Like, there'll be a time period—"

Kaya nga nagbabaka-sakali ako.

May naalala siya. Parang bumabalik na naman ang nakaraan para kay Stacey.

She didn't know if she should be hurt or smile about it.

"Don't tell me, nag-away na naman kayo ng Dad mo?"

There was a short silence before Renante came with a firm reply.

Stace, I have decided to move, alright? Close to where you live as possible.

Her eyes narrowed. "At bakit?"

Just as I thought. Kaya hindi ko sinabi agad sa iyo kung bakit ako naghahanap ng marerentahan.

Napasandal siya sa kinauupuan. Seryoso nga talaga ang lalaking ito sa pagbabawi sa kanya. Kahit may nangyari na sa pagitan nila kagabi, hindi pa rin siya makapaniwala.

"Bakit hindi ka na lang muna dumito?"

Another silence. Hindi niya ma-imagine kung ano ang hitsura ni Renante sa kabilang linya. Was he smirking? Was he shocked? Was his face twisted in confusion?

In your house?

"Yeah," maagap niyang sagot. Pigil niya ang nagpupumilit kumawala na buntong-hininga. "Hindi naman ako slow. I'm sure, you're doing this to guard me."

Then... I guess, didiretso na ako diyan sa bahay mo. You're still in your grandparents' bungalow, right?

"Right," kunwari pormal niyang sagot kahit na medyo nangingiti na siya.

See you then. I'm already in the car.

She immediately disconnected the call. At doon niya pinakawalan ang pinipigilang paghinga.

"Good Lord," iling niya bago tumayo.

Hindi mapakali na napalakad-takbo siya. Papunta sana siya sa kwarto pero huminto ang mga paa niya.

God, ano naman ang gagawin ko sa kwarto?

Binalikan niya ang salas at nakita ang disenyong tinatapos. She was finally back on track. Muli siyang umupo sa sofa. Her finger felt the yarn if it was already glued securely on the cardboard. Basa pa ang glue. Nagligpit muna siya ng mga yarn at nagsamsam ng mga nagkalat na gupit-gupit niyon.

After a few hours, Renante finally arrived.

Hindi muna nito nilabas mula sa kotse ang dalang mga gamit dahil hindi pa ayos ang kwartong ipapagamit niya rito. Stacey headed to her Uncle Manuel's bedroom. She walked in before turning to face Renante, who stood by the door.

His eyes looked around. Natulugan na ng binata ang kwartong ito pero parang naninibago pa rin sa hitsura niyon. Stacey allowed herself to give him a good look. To admire how his light white button-down shirt touched the perfect angels of his torso, the sleeves hugging his strong arms. Renante's hands shoved inside the pockets of his faded jeans, dropping her gaze to his sexy hips and long legs. His jet black hair was tossed sideways, in a blown up fashion.

His eyes seemed to pierce everything it laid on, like a dart that shot her heart the moment he decided to gaze at her.

Signal na rin ang paggawi ng tingin nito sa kanya na tigilan na niya ang pagtitig dito.

"You're using this room," anunsyo niya rito. "And as you can see, maraming mga gamit dito na kailangang ayusin bago ka maglagay ng mga gamit mo rito."

"I don't think I'll put all my stuff here," gala ulit ng mga mata nito.

"Why not?"

Nanghuhuli ang titig nito. "I won't unless you tell me I can live here."

Ah, yes. Hindi pa pala malinaw sa lalaki kung dito ba ito titira o temporary lang. Hangga't hindi pa ito nakakahanap ng matitirahan na malapit lang dito sa bahay...

She confidently placed a hand on her hip. "Why, Mr. Villaluz? Akala ko ba, babantayan mo ako? If that's the case, why not stay here until everything's over?"

He gave her a stare. At that very moment, Stacey didn't know what to feel. His eyes gave her a strange feeling. It stirred her until she finally realized she was confused with his blank reaction.

"Then, let's have a little celebration," maluwag nitong ngiti. "Drinks' on me."

Sinikap niyang manatiling composed. Aba't mukhang nasa galanteng mood ang binata.

"Okay. Saan?"

"Of course, here in your house. We can't get drunk somewhere else and risk your safety out there," dukot nito ng cellphone para i-check ang oras. "Let's go."

Nauna pa itong lumabas ng pinto. She immediately followed.

"Saan tayo bibili?"

"Kung ano ang mas malapit at una nating makitang pwedeng bilhan."

"There's a convenience store outside this subdivision."

Kapwa sila huminto sa tapat ng main door ng bahay at nagkatinginan.

Stacey was trying hard to contain herself. It always felt this way. She was easily undone by Renante's gaze. It doesn't matter if he only took a glimpse of her for a second, glanced for a minute or stared while listening to her talking...

"Oh," pagtataray niya rito. "Don't tell me, choosy ka pa?"

"I'm just thinking if there's a decent food there."

Hinablot niya ito sa kamay. "Let's just grab some chips," abot ng malaya niyang kamay sa door knob bago hinila ang lalaki palabas ng bahay.

Upon realizing that she was tugging his hand, she immediately let it go. Pag-angat niya ng tingin, tumalikod na si Renante para isara ang pinto. Ayaw niyang masulyapan nito ang hitsura niya. Baka makahalata ito na nahihiya siya sa nangyari. Taas-noong dumeretso siya ng lakad papunta sa kotse ng binata na nakaparada sa tapat ng bahay. Siyang sunod ni Renante sa kanya. He got inside the driver's seat first to unlock everything. Siyang bukas niya ng pinto sa shotgun seat para matabihan sa loob ng kotse ang lalaki.

The coffee table had a checkered design. Kaya pagkauwi nila Renante at Stacey, naisipan ng lalaki na mag beer checkers sila. Nilabas ni Stacey ang mga in-can beer mula sa paper bag. Nilapag niya ang mga iyon sa carpet. Siyang dampot ni Renante, isa-isa, sa mga iyon para buksan. After the beer's fizzle die out, he would carefully pour the drink on the rock glasses.

May nakaukit na tila mga dahon ng kawayan sa katawan ng mga basong koleksyon ng kanyang lolo nung buhay pa ito. A reason why Stacey was not foreign to liquor was rooted by a family who appreciated all kinds of alcoholic drinks.

Sa loob-loob ni Stacey, napapailing na lang siya. Mukhang pupunta siya ng office bukas na may baong hang-over.

Fuck it. She managed to do that before— since college. That's how bad she was. Siguro naman kahit ilang taon na siyang madalang na lang uminom kung ikukumpara nung kabarkada pa niya sila Sondra, hindi pa siya kumukupas.

Malakas pa rin naman siguro ang tolerance niya.

They played checkers using shot glasses. It was as if, they had selective amnesia. Wala silang usapan, pero tila nagkasundo sila na hindi pag-uusapan ang tungkol sa nakaraan o ang stalker niya habang nagse-celebrate sila dahil housemate na sila ni Renante. It was as if they were having a home welcoming party.

After getting a bit drunk, Stacey brought Renante to his new room. Kahit kailan talaga, ang hina nito sa inuman. Nakaramdam siya ng pagkahiya nang maalala nung nalasing ito sa bar noon. It was that night when she let the drunken Renante get the best of her wits and went along with what he wanted to happen...

Sumusuray-suray sila bago niya binagsak ang lalaki sa kama. Nanatiling nakatagilid ng higa doon ang binata. He was quiet throughout the trip to his room.

"Stace..." he broke that silence in a slurred voice.

Inignora niya ito. Umalis siya para kumuha ng towel at naglagay siya sa bowl ng maligamgam na tubig. Tinamad na kasi siyang maghagilap ng maliit na planggana, kung mayroon man niyon sa lumang bahay na ito. Pagbalik ng kwarto, mukhang tulog na ang binata. Hindi man lang kasi ito nagsasalita o nagre-react sa mga pagtawag niya o pagyugyog dito

Pagod na umupo na lang siya sa gilid ng kama, sa likuran ng binatang nakatagilid pa rin ng higa.

"Do you know why I like getting drunk all the time before, Renante?" ani Stacey, medyo natatawa na dala ng kalasingan habang kausap ang nakatulog nang lalaki. "Kasi lagi kang nagpapakita kapag lasing na ako... kami ni Sondra."

Oh, silly. Silly, silly memories. Should she laugh or what?

She could taste bitterness. Is it the beer or...

Napailing na lang siya.

Binasa ni Stacey ng kaunti ang bimpo. Pumuwesto siya sa harapan ng lalaki at dinampian ng bimpo ang noo nito.

"At least, kapag nalalasing ako... nakikita kita," she paused, the towel pressed against his forehead. "Hindi iyong kapag hindi ako nakainom, busy ka sa trabaho mo o... o si Sondra lang ang binibisita mo... Kinakausap."

She smiled painfully and resumed by wiping his face that was warm and reddish. "At ang bait mo. Pinapagalitan mo ako dahil... dahil ang pasaway ko. When I am drunk that's the only time you make me feel I matter. Kahit hindi bilang... bilang taong mahal mo. You make me feel I matter as a person. Kahit iyon lang... it still means so much to me."

She remembered one of those nights...

Nasa backseat na noon si Sondra. Lasing na lasing ang dalaga na halos madulas na mula sa pagkakaupo roon. Stacey took the seat beside Renante who slammed the door as he sat behind the wheels.

Tinanaw ni Stacey ang neon signange ng club na kaharap ng sasakyang nakaparada. The lights were too blurry to read. Pero nang lingunin niya si Renante, ito lang yata ang pinakamalinaw na imahe. She could not help smiling.

"How could you be so irresponsible?" harap ng binata sa kanya.

Now she was crushed. Pagak siyang tumawa. Nasasaktan na naman siya. Mag-aaway na naman sila.

All because of her, isip ni Stacey pagkasulyap sa salamin sa uluhan kung saan kita ang repleksyon ni Sondra. Nakapikit na ito, pilya ang ngiti dala ng kalasingan.

"Stace," his voice was low and warning, with dark eyes glaring at her, "I'm talking to you."

"How come it's irresponsible?" she snapped at him. "We're already adults. We're just having fun!"

"Oh, so you're enjoying this? Nag-eenjoy kayo kapag nagsusuka kayo? Kapag may hang-over? Kapag kung sinu-sinong mga lalaki ang hindi niyo nata-track kung anu-ano ang mga pinagsasasabi sa inyo? Kung saan-saan kayo nahahawakan? Hindi niyo alam kasi lasing na kayo."

Hindi man ito nagtataas ng boses, dama naman niya ang bigat sa tinig nito.

"God, Renante," balik niya ng tingin sa harap. Her back defeatedly pressed against the back rest of the seat. "Para namang bago tayo ng bago. Si Sonny, at ako... nainom talaga kami kapag gusto namin. Kailan ka ba masasanay?"

"It's okay for the two of you to drink," he answered back. "What's not okay is overdrinking. It's not safe!"

Gumuhit ang mapait na ngiti sa kanyang mga labi. "Of course, you're always concerned if this or that is safe or what."

Nagnakaw ng sulyap si Renante kay Sondra. Tila siniguradong tulog na ito bago binalik ang tingin sa kanya.

"Please, Stace, get your shit together. You're the only one I can trust with Sonny's safety," bahagyang paglambot ng mukha nito.

Hindi niya maalis ang mga mata sa mukha ng binata. Kahit nadudurog ang puso niya sa isiping si Sondra ang may kakayahang magpalambot sa anyo nito. She could not look away because that very look was only making Renante more irresistible. There was this captivating feeling when his eyes begin to soften their gaze.

"I have said this so many time," patuloy nito, mas malumanay na ang boses, "na nagpapasalamat ako kasi nakakaya mong sabayan ang mga trip ni Sondra. When none of the gang can be with her, you're always freeing your time to join her wild clubbing stuff. But lately," may bahid na ng pagkadismaya sa tinig nito, "I am having a suspicion that this is your idea as well. That you're not looking after Sonny. Ikaw ang nagto-tolerate sa mga pinaggagagawa niyang ito."

Sumama ang timpla ng mukha niya. She looked away and crossed her arms.

Of course, this is all her fault. It was Sondra's idea to rebel against her parents and Maximillian by living a crazy nightlife— wild clubbings, overdrinking, and overpartying. But, it was all Stacey's fault that Sonny's having the guts to keep living like this.

Pero nagba-backfire ang ginagawa niya kay Sondra.

The more Sondra becomes messed up, the more Renante cared for her.

Oo. Matatawag siyang masamang tao dahil sa ginawa niyang iyon kay Sondra.

Pero alam ba nila ang depinisyon ng desperado?

"I hope I am wrong, Stacey," pukaw ng boses ni Renante sa pananahimik niya noon. "Maybe we're not really friends, but I can feel that behind that tough exterior of yours is a caring heart. Especially for your friends. Lagi mo silang pinagtatanggol noong high school, 'di ba? Sila Kylie, si Sondra... That's why even if you're not my friend, I trust that you'll protect them from things that will destroy them, right?"

Stacey wiped his neck. "Nakainom din tayo nung... nung may nangyari sa atin," she laughed lowly, yet her heart was sinking. She paused to give him a stare. "See? I love getting drunk. It helps me escape the reality... na hindi magiging tayo... na wala kang pakialam sa akin."

Ah, para siyang baliw. Tulog na iyong tao, kinakausap pa niya. Heto at nanahimik pa siya, naghihintay pa ng sagot ni Renante. Ilang minuto ang nakalipas bago niya naalalang tulog nga pala ito. Dala ng kalasingan din kaya medyo hindi na siya makapag-isip ng deretso.

Stacey dropped beside Renante. Nakahiga siya paharap sa natutulog na lalaki. Namumungay ang mga mata niya sa kalasingan nang tumitig sa gwapo nitong mukha. God, she wanted to kiss him. Ang hirap pala ng ganito. When you have already wanted someone so bad for almost all your life, it's hard. It's hard to just quit on them.

Mahirap siguro dahil nakasanayan na niya.

Hindi niya makapa ng ayos ang sarili. Does she still hate him? Or does Stacey hate herself for allowing Renante to be a jerk to her in the past? Dahil kahit pagbali-baligtarin naman, hindi mangyayari iyon kung hindi niya pinahintulutan, 'di ba?

Namigat na ang mga mata niya kaya pumikit si Stacey. Inalala niya ang hawak na bimpo at ang dinalang tubig sa kwarto. Kailangan niyang iligpit ang mga iyon bago siya bumalik sa sariling kwarto.

Pero mamaya na. Magpapawala munasiya ng kaunting hilo. Pipikit lang siya saglit.
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AN:
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Hi, dears! It's been a while! I hope you are enjoying the latest chapters! Plus, I made this AN to let you know the update schedule (finally, naorganize ko na rin ang scheds ko 😭)
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Update Schedules:
- Tuesday 10 AM
- Saturday 10 AM
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If there are changes (like advanced updates or postponed ones) I will announce it on my Message Board. You'll be immediately notified by that if naka-follow kayo sa WP account ko, so hakuna matata! ;)
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With Love,
ANAxoxo