If you die before me, don't come to watch over me. I'll be silently screaming, folded into myself and on the bedroom floor. It will be so embarrassing to hurt this much, to have loved you this much. The tears are useless, they won't bring you back, they won't stop the breaking heart in my chest. The thought of you watching me- a stupid naïve little girl- losing it over a man who never loved her like that is horrifically mortifying. I wasn't enough to make you consider living in this life anyway.