Below FaceTime screen videos, over late night phone calls, over texts
I never saw your fingers
I could never tell if you lied-
I was too busy finding new shades of blue in your eye, entranced by the sound of your voice, reading too deeply into typed words-
Not that you even had to cross your fingers to lie.
All you needed to hurt me was lips, a tongue, lungs, a voice box, or thumbs.
The same lungs that pushed air over your voice box and through your lips that whispered I was beautiful.
The same thumbs that cupped my cheek, held my thigh, unclipped my bra, squeezed my breasts.
I wish you had crossed your fingers.
Maybe I could shrug it off as an unconscious mistake you did with your anxious hands.
I cannot forgive the conscious thoughts, actions, and repetitive choices that led to this story that was intertwined infinity lies.