I would have an easier life if I could believe the saying 'everything happens for a reason.' Every decision would not be agonizing, the way people treated me wouldn't be seared into my brain.
But it is not something I could ever fully believe. I have experienced things that have happened because of anything that should even be considered a reason. Maybe if I had a little more privilege, or faith, or naivety, or stupidity I could have believed it. Instead I have wrote this.