DHARA
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Everything that happened a few hours ago kept running in front of my eyes. I didn't know who was saying what, who kept talking to me, who asked me what? The scene of Daarji collapsing in front of me is all that kept revolving in my mind. It was only when I heard Anika call me out 'Dhara!!! Dharaaa... Doctor wants to talk to us... Come!!!' saying she held my hand and I realised we were at the hospital. Daarji was still in the ICU and the doctor wanted to talk to us.

'Tillu?' I asked when Anika said that he told me that he's at the insurance counter and I nodded. I noticed Arindam Uncle was sitting with Parth and Krissh a couple of chairs away. Nivedita Didi, Beena aunty and Shobha aunty were also sitting a few chairs away. Everyone was looking worried. Subroto Uncle kept a hand on my shoulder saying 'We are all here for you Baccha. We do understand the criticality of the situation and we are with you.' he kept his hand on my head and I had tears rolling down my cheeks. He was a kind man. My eyes also noticed absence of Sanjoy uncle and Dida. Her harsh words replayed in my mind when Subroto uncle tapped my shoulder saying 'Dont think about anything right now. Just go inside. You need anything...anytime...we are here? Ok?' he asked and although I didn't know what to say, I reciprocated with a nod and walked into doctor's cabin.

With sweaty hands and shivering body I sat infront of the doctor. Anika kept a hand on my lap saying 'Dharu!!! We've got to be strong. For us, for Rab Di Mehr? Nothing will happen to Daarji. Have faith in Rabji? Ok?' she asked and I nodded.
Doctor who had stepped away to wash his hands probably, finally sat infront of us. Turning his laptop towards us, he began explaining.

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'Your Daarji had a cardiac arrest. He is diabetic and probably hasn't been taking his blood pressure tablets also on time. Could be same with diabetes medicine too. He was probably under a lot of stress too. You folks must know he's not a young man that he can take it all at this age.' Doctor said and we had nothing to say. Knowing Daarji was diabetic was news to both Anika and me. We never knew.

'Ok!!! We did an angiogram and do you see this? These are blockages. This here was almost 94 percent and this one was 96 percent. Thankfully he was rushed quickly to a hospital and not any clinic. We wouldn't have saved him otherwise!' and I had non stop tears rolling down my eyes. I kept blinking to hide them, stop them but they helplessly kept rolling down my cheeks.

'We have to do an angioplasty. But there is a little complication involved.' he said and Anika asked 'What do you mean Doctor?' and the Doctor said 'He is not in a state that we operate him right away. His sugar levels need to be under control, his hemoglobin levels are also not looking good. The endocrinologist has started the treatment but he needs to be under observation for some time. So we will continue to keep him in the ICU. The minute we hear, he is stable and we plan to insert two stents. Like promised to Mister Nayak, we will be doing our best Mam. You don't need to worry but please...keep him in his prayers because I don't want to keep you in the dark. These cases can get out of hand anytime soon.'

'What do you mean by that last statement Doctor?' I asked when he cleared his throat saying 'Sometimes people could slip into a coma, sometimes stroke and sometimes even the unthinkable!!!' he said hesitantly and I couldn't hold myself and I burst into tears uncontrollably when Anika tried to calm me down but * couldn't stop myself. This was my fault. This was all my fault.

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'It is NOT!!! Not you!!! Not your fault!!! You didn't ask Aniruddh to run away like a coward. But he did!!! You did nothing wrong Dhara. You were brave and honest. You asked him to face his fears and he couldn't. Instead of facing it, he chooses to run away... that's not your fault na Dharu?' Anika asked cupping my face when I hugged her tightly as I cried saying 'I hate marriages Anika. Why should a girl marry? Why can't she live a happy single life? Why does Daarji want each one of us to settle? And settle in the name of marriage? Why?' I asked when she patted my head saying

'Well because he is a parent. Being a parent I understand his fears. He wants his child to have a secure home. A partner. A family. He wants the best for you Dhara but no one thought things would end up like this' saying Anika kept patting my back. In the meantime Anika's phone rang and it was Tillu. She excused herself and went to the insurance station. I sat there quietly putting my head down. If something happened to Daarji I would never be able to forgive myself.

He isn't just my father. He was a father to every one there in Rab Di Mehr. Because of my personal mess I can't let Daarji or anyone else suffer. Although I told Aniruddh to confess his thoughts to me but his unclear last minute decisions ruined so many lives and he didn't even realise it. How could I trust someone I didn't even know. Why did I trust him when he was a walking red carpet. My thoughts were all over the place when I was offered a paper cup full of tea and I lifted my head up looking at the man who offered it to me - Parth.

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'Dhara...I am sorry for whatever you and your family is going through. I am also ashamed of Thakuma's behaviour. She was just trying to protect Oni. Although none of us agree with her except Dad ofcourse. Believe me Dhara, we are all looking out for Aniruddh and once he-' but I immediately interrupted him asking 'Why? Why are you guys looking out for him? I mean...if you guys want to... good for you but if you or your family is doing this for my sake then I'm sorry I am not interested Parth!' I said as I kept the tea cup aside and started walking away when Parth came running and stood infront of me.

'I am not trying to justify my brother's mistake Dhara but believe me if he's running behind his ex then that's his worst decision and we want to stop him' he said and I chuckled sadly. I looked into Parth's eyes saying 'My father in there is fighting for his life. You think even if that coward brother of yours comes back, I'll forgive him?' and Parth was left speechless. I cleared my throat saying 'This marriage is over Mr.Chakbraborty. I am not interested in being a dummy daughter in law of a family whose eldest woman blames her grandson's running away upon her would have been grand daughter in law just because her grandson doesn't have the balls to explain everything in detail.' saying I started walking past him. I didn't have time for their family drama when I already had enough on my plate.

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It was 3 am in the morning and I noticed most of the Chakraborty family members in the hospital corridor. Arindam Uncle sat there in a corner leaning onto the wall as his eyes were looking towards the roof. He looked sad and helpless. I knew this wasn't his fault exactly but he seemed too affected and worried. Daarji and he were best of buddies. He obviously cared for Daarji but this friendship would have stayed the best if none of us ever tried to advance it towards getting families involved.

Beena-aunty and Shobha-aunty looked tired. Subroto-uncle kept getting tea for everyone. Krissh although never spoke a word to me, stayed with his parents. Parth kept running errands with Tillu and Anika. Thankfully Nivedita Didi went home because she had to take care of her child. I didn't like seeing them like this so I requested Subroto-uncle to take them home but he outright denied the request. I looked at Krissh when he rolled his eyes saying 'Let them stay. Once in a while they portray human emotions' saying he went away. Oh my God! This man just doesn't talk normally. He's a filter less sarcastic truth bomb. Phew! So I decided to talk to the sane brother of all. Parth... obviously.

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'Parth please!!!' but he simply shook his head saying 'Just because Oni has chosen to walk away doesn't change our equation with you. Being a part of our family or not...far or near... Chakraborty or not...you are our family and family doesn't walk out on their loved ones in difficult situations. Instead we stand tall. Together! Thank God Daarji's surgery was successful. But he's still under observation. We all will leave only after we know Daarji and you...you both are fine? Got it?' he said firmly as he slowly held my hand in his and I didn't know why my eyes filled with fresh tears. A drop of it fell on his hands that held mine when he shook his head slowly circling his arm around my shoulder saying 'Shhhh! Please Dhara. You have to be strong. For your family. Please Dhara. If you fall weak who will take care of your huge family?' he asked and I nodded.

Parth was consoling me as he kept patting my back when suddenly Pooja cleared her throat saying 'Dhara!!! It's Daarji. He's conscious now and the doctor said he will be shifted to the room soon but he's quite weak Dhara. Angioplasty at this age. He needs a lot of care and attention.' and a small smile that had started to form on my face gradually disappeared. Parth rubbed my shoulder and I nodded.

'Daarji wants to talk to you once he's shifted into the room. He wanted to talk to you right now but Doctor somehow convinced him. They will shift him in an hour or so' and I nodded my head. I quickly excused myself and ran towards the ICU to see my Daarji. He was sleeping there soundly like a child. Seeing him like that I regretted running behind a mother's existence all this while when I had a father who was always next to me. I tried adapting to Bengali culture, learnt and tried to be one just because Daarji told that the lady who birthed me was a Bengali. Tears spilled again recalling moments where in the verge of running behind something distant and non visible I ignored what I had by my side. That very moment I promised myself to never ignore my Daarji, no matter who comes or goes in my life. My Daarji would be my highest priority. No matter what. He's my father and that's the only truth that matters. I don't want to know who my birth mother was. This moment and from now on he is my only parent. My mother. My father. My everything.

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As I walked into the private ward where Daarji was shifted into, I Noticed Daarji wasn't alone there. I saw Arindam Uncle next to him. For a moment I was shocked. I was expecting Tillu or Anika but he has chosen to talk to Arindam Uncle instead of everyone else? The moment I heard 'Dhara!!! Come here Puttar' I snapped out of my thoughts and took slow steps towards him. His body was connected to various wires. He has put aside the oxygen mask. He looked weak. How did I fail to notice? How tired he must have been?

He slowly patted on the cotton bed beside him and I slowly went and sat next to him. He slowly held my hands in his old and weak hand that had IV's hurting him. My eyes welled up seeing him like that. For the first time in my life I felt the fear of losing something. Someone so precious. I never felt like this even when Sharath's true colours came in front of my eyes. That very moment I folded my eyes in prayers as I said to the higher powers pleadingly to keep him safe. He is my only parent. I don't want to lose him. Please Krishna. Please Waheguru' and I closed my eyes as a few drops of my tears fell from my eyes and Daarji shook his head saying 'Na Baccha. Not your fault. Stop crying' and I burst into tears as I burst into tears as I shouted 'I hate marriage Daarji. Marriage isn't for everyone. It isn't for me. You are all I want Daarji. Please don't leave me please. I love you Daarji. You are all I have. Please!!!' I begged him when he slowly kept his trembling hand on my head saying 'Na Puttarji. Where will I go? Will you let me go? Tell me?' he asked and I shook my head when he smiled saying 'I know Puttarji. You are my strongest child. My brave and boldest Baccha. Right?' he asked and I nodded.

I held his hands and kept crying silently when he chuckled a little saying 'Didnt I tell you Arindam? My Dhara is the strongest. She can withstand anything and everything. She has seen so much but has stood tall and managed to overcome everything. I am very proud of her. But I wanted to talk to both of you together here because I know if something ever happens to me, my Anika and my son in law...no...my son-Shankar will take care of everyone else in Rab Di Mehr but my daughter will take all the blame on herself and I don't want that Arindam. I don't want it. I won't ever let it happen. Especially when it's your grandson who is at fault.' my Daarji said it firmly and with a fierce gaze.

Arindam Uncle and I both were shocked seeing this side of my Daarji. This was my same Daarji who asked us to apologise to anyone and everyone back in school when teachers complained to him about someone else's mischief that cost us a punishment. We would never have done it but Daarji would still ask us to own up and apologize. Something we hated but we did because we respected him.

This time the same Daarji was standing strong and tall like a wall and saying loudly that someone else's child was wrong and God knows he was. I didn't have an issue if Aniruddh had announced his decision to me yesterday morning after our conversation but confessing it after giving me hopes that he has moved on, practicing the dance for our wedding function, having a Chooda and a Mehndi ceremony and then ghosting me, disappearing in thin air writing a half baked note putting me in the limelight like I encouraged him to run away was sheer hypocrisy. Also, Such a cowardly thing to do.

'Arindam ...my Dhara isn't a waste that could be dumped anywhere. I don't understand why you propose your weakest grandchild for my strongest daughter when you had a man of such strong character in your household for my Dhara. What did you think? Just because your runaway grandson is a CEO or a politician I'll push my daughter into a well? No Arindam. Your grandchild doesn't even deserve to be touching my Dhara's shadow. I am glad the cowardly loser ran away.' he said and my tears kept rolling non stop as I wiped them with the back of my palms.

'My Dhara is my pride Arindam and I'm glad she's not being a part of your family circus where your wife thinks she's a ringmaster. My daughter is indeed a lioness but not the one who jumps into fire at the command of a ring master. Go tell Mrs Sayantani Chakraborty...my Dhara refused to be the daughter in law of her household!!!' he said and this time I hugged my Daarji. I cried like a child.
What more would you need other than your father's faith in you and your independence. I didn't need a marriage rope in my neck. My father gave me wings today with his faith in me.

Arindam Uncle only held Daarji's hands saying 'Ballu!!! You are right. I decided to pick a diamond and offer it to a monkey who didn't know its value. But believe me Sayantani would definitely be guilty for the words she used. We Chakraborties pray to Goddess Durga and we can never insult a woman in our household' he said when suddenly we heard something loud that shattered. I turned around and noticed a mirror had suddenly shattered. How did that happen? Suddenly? All by itself? I noticed a crack on it. Does this happen? It felt too creepy. Although my concentration was diverted when I heard Arindam Uncle say

'Ballu!!! I know I disappointed you as a friend and a family member too but trust me, I wanted Dhara for my grandchild ever since I saw her as a little girl. Her behaviour, her cute smile, her respect towards you, her nature...I always thought she was perfect for being my grand daughter. If only things went as per my dreams. Unfortunately my own blood never valued my sentiments nor my emotions' he said as he was deep in his thoughts. I didn't want to be a part of that conversation. Aniruddh and the Chakraborties were a chapter that had come to an end. I didn't want more drama so I decided to step away when suddenly Arindam Uncle said something that left me shaken.

He held Daarji's hands saying 'I always wanted Dhara to be my eldest daughter in law...My Parth's bride!!!'

And my feet went numb. My body froze.