DHARA
✨

'If you keep staring at him like you want to eat him up, he's going to run away Dhara!!! Stoppp!!!' Tillu whispered in my ears when the clinking of cups and saucers brought me out of my reverie and I saw how he was answering Daarji's questions. Daarji kept asking him about the wedding preparations and he answered everything formally. Finally after a few minutes Daarji got a call from the caterer and he excused himself. That's when Aniruddh's eyes met mine.

Pooja and Anika coughed and teased us a little. Anika asked about his well being while nudging me a little to take him to my room. I was uncomfortable and shy as my siblings stood there giggling looking at us both. My small house was crowded with kids and it didn't feel appropriate.

'For god's sake just go Dhara!!! Stop thinking so much. You both have never spoken even once in person' Pooja almost whisper yelled in my ears and I gave her a hesitant smile. Atleast he could insist. Ask. How could I? But all he did was sit on that chair and sip more from that never ending coffee cup. That's when Anika said 'Ummm Dhara!!! Why don't you go and get that lehenga of mine which I had given to that designer to alter two days ago?' and that's when Tillu interrupted 'But Daarji asked me to-' but before he could utter another word he winced in pain while I noticed Pooja's heavy foot was crushing my poor brother's tiny little foot making him almost yelp and cry while he simply whimpered 'Ahhh ohhh yes...go ahhh' and I looked at Anika and then Pooja.

It was pouring cats and dogs. How the heck am I supposed to go out. I understood that this was a sign for Aniruddh which seems like he wasn't picking up. He seemed nervous. I cleared my throat saying 'I...uh...I'll get it later...it's raining now' and Anika gave me a tight lipped smile and then looked at Aniruddh and then at me while she only whispered 'Sure!!!'. Although Pooja opened her big mouth saying 'Or maybe Aniruddh Jiju could drop you' and at the mention of Jiju Aniruddh almost spat his coffee as he started coughing rigorously.

I was embarassed. Why can't this girl shutup. Why does it have to be a forced affair. If he wants to talk in person he must atleast initiate. If he doesn't mean, he's not comfortable. I simply shook my head saying 'Its fine Pooja ... Aniruddh must be busy!!!' when he finally stopped coughing but he slowly said 'I am not. I think I can accompany Dhara' and I don't know why although I was pissed until now. His one small statement made me smile from within although I kept a stern face. I tried denying but when he said 'Please Dhara...I insist' I melted.

✨

There was pin drop silence in his luxury car. He had his Z+ security following him in other cars closely but he insisted privacy and it was just him and me in this car. Usually I've seen VIP's having chauffeurs drive their cars but seems like Aniruddh was different or maybe he insisted of self driving today. Maybe he wanted some alone time with me. What if he holds my hand? How should I react? What if he speaks romantic things with me? How should I behave? Is my hair ok? God...I didn't even apply a long lasting perfume. Maybe I should have changed atleast?

There was death like silence with only the pitter patter of rain drops falling on the windshield of the car and wiper running zip-zap. His sheer concentration was on the roads. The silence was killing me. So I finally decided to break the ice.
'Kolkata rains can be ruthless at times right? I mean it was such dry weather until last night and today it's pouring. Isn't it crazy?' I finally managed to end the silence but he only smiled and nodded.

Wow??? That's it? Is he the same man who chatted so much with me on video calls. This is scary. Maybe that's the reason Pooja kept telling me to meet him in person. What if he doesn't talk at all. What if he's like a silent person. I'm so talkative. What would I do? He's not even replying properly. I was still analyzing things when he asked

'So... how's the dance practice going? You don't have to go to Dada's dance school today?'

Wow!!! Finally.
I smiled saying 'Going good. I have to. After lunch. Mornings Mousami Mam is busy!!!' I finally replied and his eyebrows narrowed asking 'Someone else is choreographing the act? I thought Dada is doing it personally!!!' he said when I smiled a little saying 'I insisted a female instructor. I mean...I thought it would be more comfortable! You know...I mean... I've never really done Tango before so I thought-' but before I could complete the statement he said

'As if I'm a professional Dhara. I've also not done a performing Tango before but Dada... he's the best. And why are you compromising with a random someone when you have Dada. I mean he would never deny helping you know!!!' he was going on and on when I immediately stopped him saying 'I would be more comfortable with a female led instructor Aniruddh. I hope you understand' and he took a pause and nodded. Again there was silence reverbing in the car when I asked

'Would you join this afternoon? I mean...you didn't even join us on video call. We just have two days so-' I was hoping he agrees when he smiled and looked in my direction saying 'Ofcourse Dhara why wouldn't I? Infact I'm planning to go to Dada's dance school right after dropping you to the designer' he said and I smiled but I was concerned.

'Ummm...but you haven't gone home yet. Wouldn't you need to go back home? I mean I know Nivedita Didi and Beena Aunty have been coordinating our outfits but wouldn't you need to try or give an opinion...I mean-' But he interrupted saying 'Di and Maa know what best fits me and then I don't mind. I think I look good in anything. More like... anything looks good on me. What do you say?' he asked and I didn't know if he was trying to be a tease or it was just an expression of self appraisal. Because one thing I knew about this man since I've spoken to him is that he is obsessed with his good looks. Although it wasn't a lie. He was a living, walking talking greek god to be honest. Every Chakraborty man was.

The car stopped outside the designer's showroom and I smiled saying 'Guess that's me! Okay. I think I'll see you at Parth's this afternoon' I said and he nodded. I noticed he was tapping his fingers anxiously on the steering wheel. I noticed his thighs shaking too. It's like he was a little too anxious? Nervous?

'Do you want to say something?' I asked him after a lot of thought. When he cleared his throat shaking his head for a no and I gave him a tight lipped smile and turned around to open the door when he whispered

'Dhara I want you to know something. I...I...' he was mumbling something. It's like he was scared and nervous. My heart started beating loudly but I knew I had seen worse. Even if he is going to confess something not so nice, I've been at worst in my past. I've runaway from a wedding alter on my wedding day away from a greedy man who happened to be my first boyfriend, my first kiss, my first love. I've seen a heartbreak. What worse could I see? Brave up Dhara. You can do this.

Convincing myself I turned around and looked at Aniruddh who seemed to be more nervous. He quickly undid the dashboard flap pulling out a tissue to wipe his forehead. The car engine was put off as he cleared his throat again. I waited patiently for him to confess when he said

'I wanted to tell it to you before but I didn't have the guts. I hope after what I confess it to you. You don't hate me.' he said and although my mind was weaving hundred different scenarios at the same time. I put a brave face saying 'Tell me anything! I am all ears' and he swallowed hard. He was about to say something when his phone started ringing and it was Parth. He was confused whether to pick it or not. But he eventually picked it but the phone got connected to his car's bluetooth and on the other side was Parth who started shouting

'What nonsense was that message Oni? Why are you thinking all of that? Why do you want to hide it from Dhara and why do you think she won't understand? And why do you think it's ever going to make a difference. It's all in your past Babu!!! Don't think of anything and just think about your future and what's best for you. That's a completely finished chapter. Done and dusted' and I couldn't stop myself as I quickly asked 'What's done and dusted?' and I heard Parth saying 'Dhara? What are you... I mean...Oh my God! Where's Oni?' and that's when Aniruddh said 'I am here Dada!!! I am here' and then there was pin drop silence.

Parth broke the silence saying 'Dhara!!! Oni wants to tell you something but he is scared that you wouldn't understand. And I know you will. Oni...Dhara is a sorted woman. She's had her own highs and lows. Also...if someone's entering your life, you don't hide your fears and strengths from them especially if they are going to share it with you. Tell her Chottu' he said warmly and Aniruddh finally said 'I...I will Dada' and finally Parth said 'Wish I could tell you on his behalf but it's his place to tell you and not mine. I know you'll understand it. See you this afternoon' saying he disconnected the call.

I looked at Aniruddh who undid his seatbelt and relaxed a little. After a few minutes he closed his eyes and relaxed a bit more however couldn't say anything I finally pressed upon asking 'Aniruddh if this is about a past relationship. Please understand..It's not my first one too' and that's when he opened his eyes and slightly tilted his neck towards me as he looked at me with slight tears in his eyes as he said 'She left me because she said I wasn't good enough for her' and I didn't know what to say.

He looked in the other direction outside the window, like he was hiding his face from me asking 'Do you know the famous actress Ankita Mehtani?' and my eyes widened. What the hell? She was his girlfriend? Damn she is the hottest actress in Hindi film industry today. My jaw almost dropped when he added 'We were in a relationship for 7 years' and I almost choked on my saliva.

'Seven years??? And no one knew???' I asked and he gulped shaking his head saying 'Only Dada knew and Nibbi Di' and I didn't know what to say. There was silence again when I finally asked 'Do you still love her?' and he looked at me shaking his head and I was relaxed. I took a deep breath asking 'Then what is the problem? Everyone has a past Aniruddh. I also did. Sometimes things work and sometimes they don't. Life moves on. That's how life is. Remember you told me so many positive things when we first spoke and now...what happened? Why all this suddenly? Do you regret this decision? Do you...want to back out?' I asked my voice going low. I was dreading within when he simply shook his head saying

'I met her recently at a party and I don't know why everything flashed before my eyes. I couldn't handle a 7 year old relationship would I be able to handle something so fragile? We haven't even spent enough time with each other Dhara. Are we really ready for this?' he asked and honestly for the first time even I didn't have an answer to that question. I gulped nervously and simply looked outside the window. After a few minutes I told him what I truly felt.

'I don't know if this is right or wrong. I don't know if we will click. I don't know anything but one thing that I do...and I honestly do is that...both our past relationships were longterm relationships yet they didn't last. We knew our partners well, we spent time with them, we gave it all. Atleast I did. I can vowch for it. I'm sure you did it too else you wouldn't be crying your heart out confessing all this to me when there's just approx 84 hours for our wedding to happen.' I said and he looked at me. I smiled saying

'I don't have feelings for you Aniruddh. I'm sure it's the same in your case too but let's give this a try. We have tried working out relationships that were age old. Failed. Lol. Big deal. Let's give this a try too. Who knows sometimes freshly brewed beer is stronger than old wine too. You never know.' I tried cracking a lame joke when he didn't laugh but gave a small smile.

I held his hand in mine when he shivered a little and I confessed 'I appreciate your honesty Aniruddh. Really. It was better than keeping me in dark and you suffering mentally too. Look!!! I don't know how it goes. My therapist says each one has a different way of handling their own grief. I am ok if you want to back out. If you want to mourn over your broken heart. But if you choose to heal it, I would love to join you in this journey. We can recover together' I said with a smile. When his eyes filled with fresh tears.

Who say strong men don't cry. Stronger men cry, express and overcome. I know he will also overcome his pain. With me or without me is his choice.

'You have my number. Let me know if the marriage is still on...you don't have to worry, I'll talk to our families!' I said to him. Although I was dreading within, I don't know what strength came over me that I told this to me. I was also fighting my own demons but comforting him somehow comforted me. I smiled genuinely as I waved him a goodbye and walked into the designer's showroom.

Looks like I'm not so weak after all.
Never knew comforting someone could heal your own wounds too. I was proud of myself. Something within me told me that I'll be fine.

Everything will be fine.