Harry liked the smell of approaching autumn. September was often the time of the year where the heat of summer had passed, but there was this pleasant warmth mixed with occasional rain that made everything smell of wet soil.

It was especially perceptible this particular morning on Friday during the first week into the school year. The Gryffindors of the fifth year had Care of Magical Creatures with the Slytherins at the edge of the Forbidden Forest.

Harry remembered the first Care of Magical Creature lesson with Hagrid in third year. It started with the class being confused and annoyed at the school book Monsterbook of Monsters. Like always, Malfoy had complained the loudest. When Harry had told him to shut up, Malfoy did something unexpected. Well, Malfoy had made fun of him, that had been expected. But he had done it in a weird, flirty way, walking up to Harry slowly and letting his eyes check out Harry from bottom to top. Harry had never been more attracted to someone than to Malfoy in this moment.

Of course, Malfoy had done this to make fun of him, pretending to see Dementors afterwards. Harry wondered if this flirtatious behaviour from before that had been intentional. Had Malfoy been flirting with him before Harry had done it to him? Also, the reactions, the blushing, that did not come from nowhere, did it?

Maybe it was the earthy autumn smell, or maybe the lingering memory that tied Malfoy with this forest clearing connected with the wonderful feeling of flying on a Hippogriff that day. Whatever it was, Harry felt bold. 

After class, to which he had paid less attention than usual, Harry shouted, "Malfoy!" Effectively stopping called boy from leaving. The whole Slytherin gang turned around. With disappointment, he remembered that they had another class in ten minutes. He walked up to the Slytherin group, stopping directly in front of Malfoy, "After class, meet me where we talked last time." Harry knew Malfoy's schedule well enough to know his classes ended at the same time as Harry's on Fridays.

Harry and Draco ignored the suggestive sounds coming from surrounding students, never breaking eye contact. "And why should I do that?" Draco asked provocatively.

"You'll see." Harry said. He did not even really know himself.

"How creative." Harry loved this sharp sarcasm from Draco. "Well, let's see if I can spare some time. Or if I feel like showing up." With that, he turned away and the Slytherins followed him to the castle.

"Harry, what are you doing?" Ron asked.

"He can tell us later." Hermione said. "Come on, quick. We're gonna be late for Charms."

#

It was hard for Harry to concentrate during the remaining lessons. And even harder to explain to his friends what his intention with this rendezvous with Malfoy was. Thus, he did not. Instead, he dwelled on his thoughts.

He wondered what he should say to Malfoy. He wondered if he should ask him to the Yule ball. Or to a normal date? Or if he should even ask at all? Maybe he should think of some plan B in case Malfoy decided to reject and ridicule him. Like, tell him it was all a joke and... then what?

Maybe this was not a good idea in general. Maybe he should just not show up. It was the easiest way out. And if Malfoy came to him afterwards, he could make fun of him for even thinking Harry would show up. But that was not Harry's style. It sounded more like something Draco would do.

 Wait, maybe that was what he planned on doing. Maybe it would be Harry who waited at the meadow for hours without Malfoy showing up. And then Malfoy would make fun of him for even thinking he would show up for Harry.

After the last lesson, Harry stood in front of the door leading out of the Great Hall to the outside. Not for the first time, he wondered if he should back out, just hide in his dorm and avoid Malfoy for a while. Like, for the rest of his life.

Yet, Harry was a lot of things, but not a coward.

Turning the corner to oversee the width of the meadow bordering the forbidden forest, Harry almost overlooked Malfoy already waiting for him. He was leaning against the grey castle wall, his arms crossed and one leg pulled up so his foot stood against the wall. His gaze was far away and one did not have to know Malfoy well to see that he was in deep thought. And that he was worried about something.

Noticing Harry, he pushed himself off the wall and adopted a passive, careless look and a confident statue. "Potter." He said in his usual aloof tone. Now, more than ever, Harry was aware how much Malfoy changed himself in front of people.

"Malfoy." Harry nodded. Suddenly, the nerves in the pit of his stomach became unbearable. What was he doing? He could not ask Malfoy out. He would be the talk of Hogwarts for weeks, and not in a good way. Not that it was ever in a good way with Harry. "Umm, I..." Harry wondered what was the best way out of this. Just turn around and leave? Come up with an excuse why he was needed elsewhere? Say something else and pretend that was exactly why he had come here?

"Potter?" Harry blinked a few times, trying to concentrate on Malfoy. He looked actually worried. And so was his tone. "Are you okay?"

For a second, Harry wondered if that was a genuine question. Then he wondered if he should answer it. Then he wondered, how he should answer it. "Umm, I..." What had Harry gotten himself into?

He could not come up with anything, especially being distracted by that stupid amused smirk spreading on Draco's lips. "You've already said that."

"What?" Harry wondered. He had said nothing yet.

"Umm, I..." Draco did, what Harry could only guess, was an imitation of him. When Harry did not answer, Draco went back to being worried. "Honestly Harry, are you okay? I know we're not exactly friends but you're starting to freak me out."

Harry... He said Harry. He actually called Harry by his first name. Maybe this was not such a bad idea after all. Because the thought of Draco calling him Harry in that sweet caring tone was thrilling. And not the kind of thrill Harry got from making Draco blush, but something quieter, something more calm but not less beautiful.

"Umm, I..." Harry held his hand up before Draco had a chance to comment. "There's just something I was thinking about."

"Never a good idea."

Harry ignored Draco's jab. Instead, he decided it was better to not actually look at Draco. Lowering his eyes to watch his feet, he took a deep breath. "I was just wondering what you would think about, you know... I mean, last year we were kind of... And I didn't think about... Like that, you know? And..."

"Not really." Draco said. "You're all over the place."

Harry lifted his head again. He watched closely, trying to determine if Draco was at least suspecting what he was hinting at. And what he thought about it. He thought he saw a hint of nervousness in Draco's gaze. "Draco... I wanted to ask you if... Actually, I thought maybe you wanted to, maybe next weekend, I mean- "

"Harry." Draco lifted his hand. "Let me stop you right there."

Harry said nothing, just watched as Draco lowered his hand, thoroughly looking around the grounds.

"Let's take a walk."

For a moment, Harry was startled. Then he caught up with Draco, who headed away from the castle into the open meadow. Harry looked around, realizing that Draco was trying to avoid someone being able to overhear them. Pulling his hood up, Draco reduced the likelihood of someone recognizing them from the distance. Harry copied him, pulling the hood from his robes up.

"Thanks." Draco said. Harry just shrugged, trying to not be hurt by the implication of Draco not wanting to be seen with him. "Alright, listen." Draco took an audible breath. "You have no idea for how long I wished for this to happen, you know?"

Harry's heartbeat started to pick up. "Which part exactly?" He watched Draco's profile closely. Not once did Draco look back. He just stared straight ahead.

"Harry..." Draco let out a distressed breath. Harry tried not to freak out over how naturally they fell into the first name basis. "You know what I'm talking about. I think it's better that it remains unnamed because..." Draco stopped walking and turned to face Harry. He still did not look up into Harry's eyes though. Instead, his gaze seemed to be glued on Harry's Gryffindor tie. "I have a boyfriend."

Harry's heart sank. "That pretentious Beauxbatons?"

Draco finally looked up into Harry's eyes. "Jacques is actually quite sweet." He said, but his voice was not very defensive for someone whose boyfriend just got insulted. Harry just snorted, feeling better talking that guy down than facing the reality. Draco liked him. Better than Harry.

Draco turned away and started to stroll again. Harry joined his side. They were quiet for a while. Harry wondered how they should move from here. Would Draco make fun of him when they were in presence of other people again? Would they ignore each other? "Are you happy?" Harry asked.

Draco snorted. "That's such a cliché thing to ask." Harry pressed his lips together. He knew that. It did not really matter. It was Draco's life. But from now on, it mattered to him how Draco was. It had mattered for a while now, Harry had to admit. "It doesn't matter if I'm happy or not."

"It does!" Harry said indignantly.

"It doesn't." Draco said. "In fact, it would be better if I'm not that happy with Jacques."

"Why would you say that?" Harry said. "You deserve-"

"It's only temporary, Harry." Draco interrupted. He ran his fingers through his hair in distress. "We both know it."

"Why?" Harry demanded. "Why would you stay in a relationship you know won't last?"

"You don't understand." Draco shook his head. "I'm a Malfoy, Potter. Eventually, I will have to marry a respected pureblood woman and have children."

"That's not what you have to-"

"It is." Draco said. "I told you, I'm a Malfoy. Just because I want to... I don't know. I can't be selfish. I would betray generations of tradition."

"Tradition?!" Harry exclaimed indignantly. "You know tradition is not always the best thing. If you're not going to be happy with a woman, you shouldn't-"

"Harry." Draco interrupted. Once again, he stopped walking and turned to him. "I wouldn't expect you to understand. Just, I'm trying to have fun while I can because, well, I won't be able to when I have to take over the Malfoy inheritance. The point is, Jacques and me know we can't catch hard feelings for one another. This thing, with you and me," He pointed between their chests, "It would be different. I don't want to risk it. Believe me, it's better if it goes back to the way it was." He took a step closer, pressing his lips to Harry's cheek. "See you around."

Just like that, he passed Harry and hurried back to the castle.

#

"And he said he had to do it for family tradition, can you believe it?" Harry had been ranting to Ron and Hermione about the conversation for at least ten minutes now. His friends were sitting on Ron's bed in the boys dorm since the common room was too crowded to have private conversations. Harry was pacing up and down in front of them. "He just wants to throw away his whole future for what? Being the next Lucius Malfoy? He can be whoever he wants to be. Why doesn't he get it? And he said he wished for this to happen, me and him. It can. There's nothing holding him back except for himself. I don't get it. I have to do something. He can't do that to himself."

"I wonder what bothers you more." Hermione said. "That he's set on sacrificing his happiness to become the next Malfoy cliché or that he rejected you." She put emphasis on the last word.

Harry stopped pacing, actually considering it. "Both bothers me." Harry said. "But I think what bothers me most of all is that he just throws away his future to please his father."

"It's not just pleasing his father." Ron said.

Hermione and Harry looked at him, surprised. "Are you defending him?" Harry asked.

Ron let out a dry laugh. "Ironic, isn't it?" He looked at his friends, noticing them glaring and sighed. "To be honest, I kinda get it. I mean, not really, because I'm not gay and all that stuff," He waved his arm around awkwardly. "Besides, my family is more accepting than his. But children are always under pressure to impress their parents, but for high-ranking purebloods like the Malfoys it's a lot worse. I mean, if he would just, like, be gay or whatever-"

"He is gay." Hermione interrupted. "There's nothing his family can do to change that."

"I know that." Ron said. "But you know what I mean. If he would disobey and be with a man he would be the last Malfoy in his line. A line that has been going on since wizards and witches started writing down their family trees. Malfoy has been taught how important that heritage is, and the pureblood status too. I bet he's been hearing it every time he saw his parents for his whole life. It's not easy to break from that." Harry and Hermione stared at Ron with an open mouth. "What?" Ron asked.

"Ron." Hermione said. "That was so insightful." She sounded impressed, but something else resonated in that tone. Affection maybe? Whatever it was, it made Ron blush. Harry looked from Ron to Hermione. He was a bit scared of what would happen once they actually admitted their feelings for each other. But that was a problem for another day.

"There are things like adoption. Or a surrogate." Harry said.

"What?" Ron asked, still distracted from his moment with Hermione which Harry had just interrupted.

"The Malfoy bloodline doesn't have to end just because two men aren't physically able to have kids." Harry clarified.

"Oh yeah," Ron remembered what they were talking about. "But it's not just that. If Malfoy decided to be with a guy, he would probably be rejected from the family line. They don't allow such disgrace."

"Disgrace?!" Hermione exclaimed.

"I mean, I don't think that." Ron said hurriedly. "I don't care who Malfoy marries. I'm just saying, that's how it's taught to pureblood society. You'll no longer be an official part of the family if you don't play by the rules. Sirius can probably tell you from his own experience. They don't do black sheep. Actually, I think that Sirius was able to turn his back on his family had a lot to do with him having a brother who could still take the place of the Black heir. I mean, I don't mean to smother his braveness or anything, but it takes more than courage. There is a lot of responsibility and pressure connected with carrying on the bloodline."

"How do you know all that stuff?" Harry wondered.

"Hey, just because the Weasleys don't play by the rules don't mean we're not purebloods." Ron said. "We're kinda connected to all the pureblood families. Practically related. There are not that many pureblood families left. Besides, it's not really a secret how this pureblood society works."

As impressed as Harry was by Ron's insight, it pulled down his mood. Because now Harry had to admit something he was not at all happy with. 

Draco's decision did make a lot of sense.