Chapter 6

Hiccup looked in the mirror as he straightened his tie for what was probably the hundredth time. Tonight Astrid was taking him to her family's house in Hell and he wanted to look his best.

Hiccup heard the telltale sound of Astrid arriving. This time she had poofed onto his bed and was lazily stretched out while watching him. "Honey you take longer than me to get ready." She commented. "Don't tell me you're nervous."

"Well I am meeting your family."

"You already met daddy and he loves you." Astrid giggled. "And I also already met you parents."

"Yeah......." Hiccup mumbled. "They think you're a dominatrix."

Astrid merely hummed as she watched her boyfriend. "And that's so bad how?" Hiccup gulped as he saw the predatory gleam in the mirror as Astrid stood up and approached him from behind. She wrapped her arms around his neck. He felt her hot breath on his cheek as she leaned in and whispered in his ear "You certainly weren't complaining last night." Hiccup let out a cough as his cheeks pinked.

Astrid smiled that wicked smile as Hiccup changed the subject by telling her that they were going to be late. He quickly grabbed his house keys, his phone and a metal tin. Astrid took his arm and poofed them both to her parents' house. They landed in front of a large mansion which had a moat of molten lava flowing around it. The sky looked red and the flowers that had been planted in several pot looked hungry. Hiccup let out a nervous gulp as Astrid rang the doorbell which let out an ear piercing shriek.

The large metal doors opened on their own and Astrid and Hiccup stepped inside. Hiccup looked at the spooky interior of the foyer when a familiar voice caught his attention "Snooky!" Was shouted as Astrid's father came to welcome them. Astrid gave her dad a hug and Hiccup shook his hand before handing him the metal tin.

"Is this what I think it is?" Solei asked as he was giddy.

"Freshly baked butterscotch cookies." Hiccup told him. He was then enveloped in a hug. Astrid merely facepalmed as her father hid the cookies before her mother saw them.

"Dad no sugar before dinner." Astrid warned as they walked towards the dining room.

"But sweetie!!" Her dad whined. He had stuffed the metal tin in his suit and was trying to act inconspicuous. It however wasn't working as Hiccup next saw a woman who looked a lot like Astrid striding forward.

"Solei what are you hiding?!" She asked with her hands on her hips.

"Nothing honey." He tried to deny but one look from the woman had him handing the tin of cookies over.

"You should share more dear husband." The woman laughed as she set the tin on a table. Solei sulked as he looked longingly at the cookies.

"Hello young man. You must be Hiccup. I'm Ella, Astrid's mother but you can call me mom if you want." She winked at Hiccup. "Dinner is almost done, and yes Solei you can have some cookies after."

"See, mom likes you." Astrid smiled. "Now come on. I'm sure the little brat is around here somewhere."

"Your little brother?" Hiccup asked as he looked around. The dining room was brightly lit and he couldn't spot the brother Astrid was talking about. Just before he could ask something a large lump landed on him from above.

"Ack!" Hiccup sputtered as he lay there on the floor with a wiggling mass above him.

"Matthew! Get off of Hiccup!" He hear Astrid growl as the lump above him snickered. Hiccup stood up and saw a small boy hiding behind Astrid's legs.

"Well hello. You must be Astrid's brother." He said before extending his hand only to yank it back swiftly. Hiccup saw the boy glare and growl at him.

"Matthew no biting!" Astrid admonished.

"Sorry about that he's a bit shy." Astrid told him just as the boy delivered a swift kick to Hiccup's shin. She picked up her brother with one arm and whispered something in his ear. Hiccup saw the kid looking at her with wide eyes before swiftly shaking his head.

"It's alright, really." Hiccup told her as she put her grumbling brother in his seat at the table. He had babysat in high school and knew that some kids don't immediately warm up to you, especially if you are dating a close family member of theirs.

Astrid's father and mother came back into the dining room and they were carrying plates of food. Hiccup and Astrid helped them with the plates and then Astrid asked "Isn't granny coming to dinner?"

Hiccup saw the looks Astrid's parents were shooting each other. "Well you know how mother is." Ella stated she then looked at Hiccup "Sorry Hiccup but I'm afraid my mother doesn't like humans much."

"She doesn't like anything much." Hiccup heard Solei grumble. Ella then proceeded to step on her husband's foot. "Oh hush you."

"I'm sure granny will love Hiccup." Astrid told her parents. "Let me just go get her." She suggested and was out of the room before anyone could say anything. Soon everyone heard a scuffle happening upstairs. It didn't take long for Astrid to return with her grandmother slung over her shoulder.

"Astrid put me down now!" The old woman warned. "I have had it with your suitors."

"Granny you'll like Hiccup I promise." Astrid told her as she put him down. "And besides are you really going to miss dinner?"

Once the old woman was back on the ground she turned and looked Hiccup up and down. "This one doesn't seem very demony."

"That's because Hiccup is human granny." Astrid told her.

"Human?!" The old woman shrieked as her cane stomped down onto the tile. She walked a circle around Hiccup, inspecting him before turning back to her granddaughter. "Well he does have a nice behind. I guess I can tolerate a human." Hiccup flushed red as they took their seats.

"Mother, Hiccup here cooks." Solei said. The old woman's eyes narrowed as Hiccup let out a nervous gulp.

"Are you saying your own daughter can't cook?!" Granny accused.

"Mother.... She gave cousin Lucy food poisoning." Ella mumbled.

"So?" The old woman asked. "Lucifer always had a weak stomach! My baby doll can make quite the delicacies."

"So Hiccup what do you do for a living?" Ella asked.

"Well I'm a web designer." He told them.

"Oh that's right. My husband mentioned some of that. Also something about a yellow eating game?"

"Pacman mom." Astrid corrected. Her little brother however snorted. "Who plays Pacman these days?"

"I happened to like it." Solei told his son. "Maybe now I can try and play those video games with you."

"You wouldn't understand them." Matthew mumbled.

"We'll see." Solei stated as he got a gleam in his eyes.

"So tell me Hiccup, as a web designer, who do you work under?" Granny asked as everyone took some food.

"I'm self employed." Hiccup told them.

"It must be quite a harsh job with the tech industry growing at such a rapid pace." Granny said causing the table to fall silent as they all looked at her curiously. "What?!"

"You know what he's talking about?" Solei asked his mother in law.

"Of course I do!" Granny grumbled. "I don't live under a rock like you. I'm hip!" She stated and then pulled out a mobile phone. "See I even have Facebook."

"Mother where did you get that phone?" Ella asked as she looked at the phone. It wasn't a cheap one either. "Did one of your boytoys give you that?"

"Oh no sweetie. This model isn't on the market yet." Granny told them. "I have some very lucrative contracts with some CEO's in Silicon Valley."

Hiccup's eyes widened while Astrid cheered "You go granny!"

The dinner progressed steadily from there and they were halfway through when rapid knocking could be heard on the front door. "I wonder who that is?" Solei mumbled as he excused himself to answer the door. He came back a few moments later with four demons behind him. One of the demons had an ox head, another had an eagle's head while the other two looked human.

Besides him Hiccup heard Astrid groan. "What do you four want?" She ground out while clenching her fists. Hiccup noticed that she'd need new utensils as the fork and knife were now bent.

"Why lovely miss." The eagle headed demon began. "We have heard you were here and we came to court you on this joyous day."

"Didn't I already reject you lot?" Astrid muttered. Hiccup looked at the four demons and already had a pretty good idea what was going on. Astrid had told him what usually happens when she was in Hell. "Besides I'm already in a relationship."

The ox headed demon flexed his muscles for her causing Astrid to let out another groan of exasperation. "A beauty such as you should be with a strong demon! Not some wimpy human."

"Excuse me?!" Hiccup took offense as he glared at the demons who just snickered. The human looking two weren't any better. One looked like a demon version of Fabio with his long wavy hair and abs, the other was slightly smaller but preened just as much as a peacock.

"Now hold on a darn tootin minute." Granny growled as she looked at everyone. "Now I am the matriarch of this family and I decide which individual is worthy of my little baby doll."

"Granny!" Astrid shouted. "I'm not little anymore."

"Well you certainly aren't flat chested anymore." Granny remarked for everyone to hear causing Astrid to flush red. "Now as I was saying I will decide who is worthy of my granddaughter and if you fail I'll feed you to my pet Cerberus!"

"What do you propose?" Hiccup asked. Granny gave him a smile as she saw the other four demons still hesitating. Astrid just laid her head on the table as her mother patted her shoulder. Her little brother however was watching the exchange with glee.

"Granny you gonna have them duel?" Matthew asked as he eyed the different weapons around the room. There were a set of axes lining the wall. Another wall had a few maces and other weapons displayed. Hiccup could now guess where Astrid's weapon obsession came from.

"I have a better idea." Granny smirked before ruffling the boy's hair. "Astrid honey go bring that new recipe you tried. Astrid's head shot up at that. "We're going to have your suitors try it out. Whoever stays upright is the winner."

"Of course granny." Astrid said before she disappeared into the kitchen.

"Oh Satan, she's going to kill everybody." Solei whined.

"Oh hush you." Granny admonished as Astrid came back with a tray containing five goblets of bubbling ooze. Hiccup raised his brow at the concoction.

"What is that?" he asked as she set the five goblets on the table.

"My new yaknog recipe." Astrid proudly proclaimed. "I call it Yaknog 4.0"

Hiccup blinked and then looked at the goblet again. Astrid had made him taste the first version. He ended up discreetly throwing the pitcher out of his apartment window. The 'yaknog' proceeded to dissolve part of the pavement outside.

"What................ happened to the other two versions?" He managed to ask as he immediately regretted it. Ella and Solei shuddered while Astrid looked sheepish. He hear something mumbled about 'biohazard' and 'screaming souls'.

"Well boys" Granny smirked as she indicated towards the goblets. Hiccup sighed and grabbed one. The four demons also took one. Hiccup took a nervous gulp before he downed the liquid in one go. He placed the goblet back onto the table and leaned against the chair as his face was turning green. He shuddered at the taste and wanted to scrub his mouth with grass but he did manage to stay upright.

"Well now." Granny said looking quite surprised. "I'm not getting rid of you that easy am I." She mumbled. Hiccup still queasy gave a "huh?" as he looked where Solei pointed. He looked to his left and saw the other demons knocked out on the floor.

"Amazing" Ella commented. "That young man has an iron stomach."

"Ho......Hold....u...up!" Came a strangled voice from the ground. Everyone looked and saw that the Fabio look-alike was struggling to get up. "I'm not out yet!" He said while steadying himself on the table.

"Yes you are." Granny told him. "You did faint."

"I will not be bested by some human!" The demon growled as he glared at Hiccup. "What the heck did I just drink?!"

"My special drink." Astrid told him as she crossed her arms and leveled her own glare at him.

"Gods woman you have got to be kidding me." The demon growled. "You better learn to cook. No woman of mine will feed me that swill."

"EXCUSE ME!!" Astrid shouted as she wanted to beat the man to a pulp. Hiccup's hand however stopped her. He turned and and glared fiercely at the demon.

"Astrid hand me those two rapiers." he said indicating to the wall near the fireplace. Everyone looked at him in confusion but Astrid got him the weapons. He threw one to the demon who deftly caught it.

"And just what is this human?" The demon asked perplexed.

"You insulted my girlfriend. I demand satisfaction." Hiccup told him as he held his weapon at the ready.

"Hiccup" Astrid asked worriedly.

"Don't worry Astrid. I got this." Hiccup assured her. The Fabio look-alike merely huffed and rolled his eyes before lunging at Hiccup.

Hiccup deftly performed a Passato Sotto, dropping beneath his opponent's weapon. He placed his hand on the floor and stabbed with the rapier, drawing first blood.

Fabio stepped back after being hit before lunging at Hiccup again who parried the blow this time before following up with a Riposte. The rapiers continued to clash as the two battled it out in the room. Astrid and her family watched wide eyed as Hiccup proceeded to make a fool of the demon by side stepping and having him jab the rapier in the wooden door.

"I'll fix that!" Hiccup told them as the fight continued. Fabio screamed when Hiccup managed to cut off a lock of his hair. They were still clashing swords when Hiccup's phone rang. "Oh you have got to be kidding me!" Hiccup grumbled as he created some distance between them 'How do I even have reception in Hell?' he wondered as he answered the phone while avoiding the jabs from his opponent.

"Snotlout not now!" He spoke into the receiver. "No I can not help you right now. I don't care if you are in Australia facing off against a giant spider for your precious vintage Playboy magazines. I'm kind of busy now." Hiccup told him before hanging up and performing another parry.

"Okay time to end this." Hiccup muttered. He sent his rapier right between the hilt and yanked it away. He placed his own sword against the demon's throat and hissed "If you ever insult my girlfriend again I'm going to make this seem like a cake walk."

The Fabio look-alike gulped and nodded before he was yanked away by his hair. Hiccup saw granny standing there who then proceeded to wink at him. "I'll show this one out." She told him sweetly as she dragged the demon away. They watched her go and a few minutes later they heard a yelp from the front door.

"Mother must have thrown him in the lava moat." Ella mused before turning to Hiccup. "Where did you learn that Hiccup?"

Hiccup rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Mom is a fencing instructor." He told them. "She trained me since I could hold a sword."

"Well I must say I'm impressed." Granny stated as she came back. "Anyone who is willing to defend my granddaughter like that has my blessing."

Hiccup noticed that Astrid was giving him a rather sultry look. His cheeks pinked as he approached her. "I hope you didn't mind me stepping in like that." He mumbled. Astrid meanwhile was sporting a devious smirk. She leaned in closed and said "On the contrary, you being that assertive has gotten me quite fired up."

Hiccup let out another nervous gulp as he saw his girlfriend leering at him. "Uhm...... Astrid?"

Granny coughed getting her daughter, son in law's and grandson's attention. "Why don't we give them some privacy?" she suggested before herding the three out of the door. Hiccup could have sworn that he saw granny sent a wink their way.

"Hiccup......." Astrid purred and he came back to reality. 'Oh Hell' he thought before Astrid's lips descended on him.

---------The End?--------

AN:

Dragon1010: "What did I just read?"

Warorpeace: "What did I just read?!!"

Vala: "I was bored!"

Dragon1010: "So you decided to write this?"

Vala: "I was bored!! It was either this or getting ready for Halloween!"

Dragon1010: "But don't you already have something for your readers on Halloween?"

Vala: "Well it's supposed to be a treat." XD

Warorpeace: "What the hell did I just read?!"