| nana <3: he's on his way to the cafe. good luck.

Jeno's grip on his phone turned his fingers white. He typed a hasty thank you and shoved the phone back into his pocket, almost curling in on himself. He was so damn nervous, it was comical. It was only his desperation for at least some interaction with Renjun that kept him rooted on his seat by the door of Timeless cafe, which was miraculously still open (well, as miraculous as it could get when you had begged the owner to keep it open just a little longer because your oldest and most precious relationship was hanging in the balance).

It was a strange, almost surreal experience; There was no one in the cafe, which was usually buzzing with activity, and the lights were dimmer now that half of them had been switched off for the night. The light-up sign at the window burned green and pink stars into his eyes, so he looked away from them, back at the empty sugar packet he was ripping up on the table. It was dead quiet, and Jeno had nothing to focus on but the scattered sugar grains and the thumping of his own blood in his ears.

When a small silhouette drew itself up against the warm glow of the street lights, Jeno held his breath until he knew it was Renjun, then held his breath again as the door opened with a muted jingle and as Renjun's footsteps echoed around the room. Then, he was right in front of Jeno in his usual seat, looking him in the eye as if this was just another day. Jeno drank in his presence, holding the spotlight-bright gaze as best as he could.  

"Renjun — hi." His voice was far too breathy — it was like he had already confessed.

Renjun blinked twice, very slowly, and replied: "Hello, Jeno. Bit cold out, isn't it?"

Jeno bit back a smile at hearing Renjun's voice again, and instead said, "Not as cold as you've been this past week, you dick. I —" He faltered. "I missed you."

Renjun put his hand on Jeno's wrist, holding it lightly, and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Jeno. It was just me being petty for you not telling me right away, you know?" Renjun squeezed out a chuckle, and a delirious one, at that. Jeno furrowed his eyebrows, then pushed the little slivers of paper off the table and sprinkled them into one hand, so that he could look anywhere else. It had always been hard to think straight when his gay awakening was looking him in the face.

He remained puzzled, however. "Renjun, what did I not tell you? What have you been talking about? 'I know what you wanted to tell me' — That's what you told me on Wednesday. What do you mean?" 

Renjun blinked at him, then smiled thinly as he said, "That you and Jaemin are dating, or are damn near doing that. I didn't even know that — I mean, you didn't even say anything about — Jeno?"

Jeno's eyes were wide with shock, one hand braced on the table as if he was going to fall over even though he was sitting down. So Jaemin had been right, the absolute genius.

"Renjun — that's not true. Not one bit — Why... How did you even come to think that? Was it the fact that we walked to class together? But friends do that! We do that!" Jeno held his hand out imploringly, but Renjun just ran his cold hands down his own face, squeezing his eyes shut as he shook his head. 

"Jeno. You can't be mad at me, but I just inferred that you were a thing because... Oh, man. Oh, crap. I saw you two —" he gestured weakly out the window at the empty car park in front of the cafe. "And you were... well... But then, if you're not, you were never together? And then Jaemin said —"

"Renjun!" Jeno leaned halfway across the table and placed both hands on Renjun's shoulder and shook him lightly. "Why. Did. You. Think. Me. And. Jaemin. Were. Dating." Jeno enunciated each word clearly and thoroughly, so Renjun would stop freaking out.

"That day," began Renjun, his eyes clearing, "The day that you asked me to meet you here; I came, Jeno. I came and I sat here, and I saw you and Jaemin in the car." Jeno nodded once, then fell back into his seat, his heart loud in his ears. "I saw you and Jaemin, and you were talking but... you two looked like you were about to kiss, or something. Your faces were so close that you actually might have been kissing already. I didn't know what else to think. Please don't be angry, Jeno."

Jeno hesitated, then reached out and took Renjun's hand, smiling softly. "We definitely weren't kissing, Renjun. But why did you leave?" Renjun blinked, confused. 

"Why did I leave?" 

Jeno nodded earnestly, now burning with curiosity "You could have come over and asked us what was going on. You knew I wouldn't have been mad, and Jaemin wouldn't have been either."

≠

Why did I leave? My heart was beating so hard I was genuinely afraid of passing out. Renjun leaned his head in his hand, forehead wrinkling. I felt happy for you, angry at you, despair for myself. Fear for what was to come.

"It looked pretty intimate," he settled, "And I guess I didn't want to interrupt anything." 

Jeno cocked his head sideways and smiled genuinely at Renjun, before resting his head in his palm and gazing at him. "What kind of person would I be to make out with someone right before confessing my everlasting love for you?"

"Well, you — you what?"

"I'm in love with you, Renjun."

Everything stopped. The streetlights outside stopped flickering. The breath in his lungs stilled and staled, his mind froze, his heart stopped. He put a hand over his mouth in shock. I'm dreaming. I'm fucking dreaming. 

"Jeno," he whispered, "Pinch me."

"Here's a better idea." Jeno stood up and came around to sit beside Renjun, on the sofa. Renjun registered dimly that Jeno had never sat anywhere but across from him. Sitting here, next to Renjun, was like blasting apart a tall, old wall. And he happily let it fall. He was done with it. 

Renjun leaned in first. 

Jeno's lips were as soft and pliable as they'd ever looked, moulding with Renjun's almost immediately, as if every fibre of both their beings had always been waiting for them to connect like this. Renjun fisted Jeno's jacket, tugging him forward so that he could turn his head slightly, and he took the invitation to deepen the kiss as if he'd done it a hundred times. Renjun was a bit lost in the new feeling, and he happily let Jeno push apart his lips and push him back against the window. He seemed to be a lot better at this than Renjun was, for some reason. Of course, Renjun had only had his first kiss a few minutes ago —

He suddenly felt like he was forgetting something. He tried to forget it (as easily said as it was done, with the way he was being kissed right now) but it began nagging him, and finally, he realised what was wrong. Two of the pieces had come together, two numbers in a sum. 

But a sum needs a third number to give it an answer. 

Renjun's eyes opened slowly. Jaemin. 

As amazing as this felt, it just wasn't right to do this without telling Jeno that he wanted Jaemin too, as much as that scared Renjun. He broke away from Jeno reluctantly, sucking in a big breath, and looked into Jeno's eyes. They were clouded over and he was grinning. His hair was a mess and hands were linked comfortably around the small of Renjun's back. 

Renjun practically melted. It took every hard-earned piece of willpower he possessed not to kiss him again. Instead, he forced out a breathless, "We kinda need to stop. Sorry." 

Jeno winced. "Damn, it hurts to be on the receiving end of that." 

Renjun raised his eyebrows and leaned back from Jeno a little, who panicked and shook his head, "It's nothing, really. Why do we need to stop?" His eyes widened, "Am I that bad a kisser?"

Renjun shrugged, "No, you're actually really good." Jeno suddenly looked way too smug, and roses bloomed in Renjun's cheeks when he realised what he had said.. "Y—yeah you're pretty good," he fumbled, "For having lips skinnier than Mariah Carey."

Jeno gaped at him. "Of course you would annihilate the mood like that." Renjun smiled innocently, then ducked out of Jeno's embrace. Jeno turned and pouted slightly, "Oh come on, you didn't have to do that!" 

Renjun rolled his eyebrows, before patting his cheek and saying, "You're endearingly clingy. Anyway, I need to tell you something very important, and I really need you to take it seriously." 

"Alright, but before that, can you tell me when you started liking me back?" Renjun scrunched up his nose, but ended up acquiescing to Jeno's eager curiosity. "I've always loved you, Jeno. But it really did take some goddamn fashion sense to shock me into realising it. The day you showed up with that silver hair ended me." 

Jeno looked vastly impressed. "So glow-ups do have a science to them."

"What?"

"It's nothing! Carry on."

Renjun squinted at him, but then leaned back and sighed. "Jeno, there is a very minor thing that uh, stopped me from kissing you any further." Jeno gestured for Renjun to continue. He took a deep breath and steadied himself. 

"I... I'm in love with Jaemin too, remember? I never stopped pining after him, I just caught feelings for you while I was at it." 

≠

Jeno was speechless. That was a ten-tonne boulder off his back, a hundred doves taking flight off his chest. Of course. Of course!  "Renjun... I have no idea how to say this..." Jeno's grin felt like it would split his face open, and Renjun looked really fucking confused about it, but he didn't care. This finally had a chance of working — everything was turning around.

"You — you too?" Renjun's eyes took on a new shine. "You like Jaemin too? As in, as much as you like me?" 

Jeno nodded quickly, suddenly excited at this revelation.

"So... do you... love him?"

 "Yes! I do! Renjun, does this mean it's okay to love two people? You don't think it's weird or gross or anything?" 

Renjun grabbed both of his hands, eyes sparkling now, "Of course it's not, Jeno! Love is love, we know that by now. This is such a relief. I was so scared that you would think I was selfish, or something..." 

Jeno nodded fervently, "Same. But, to be honest, no one should ever judge you for falling in love with Na Jaemin. I mean, anyone with at least two brain cells finds him beautiful. I don't make the rules." 

Renjun pursed his lips and nodded, business-like. "His hair always looks like he's in a shampoo commercial. When he dyed it that light brown he's got now, I... I felt like a stalker, I was looking at him so much. Sometimes I wanna sue him for looking like that." 

Jeno sighed sympathetically, "He's merciless. His eyes are also literally Jesus and chocolate. Have you seen them?" 

They both nodded, monotoning in unison, "Jesus and chocolate."

Renjun leaned back, "It's a shame he doesn't use lip balm or gloss or something, because those lips are chapped, man." 

Jeno put a hand over his mouth, "Imagine Jaemin wearing lip gloss." 

Renjun blinked. "Don't make me. You know, it's a relief to finally be able to have someone to bounce these rants off — before you just kind of sat there."

"Don't remind me," he frowned. Suddenly, he seemed to take on a more serious demeanour. "Renjun — listen." The boy in question nodded, propping his chin up in his pam. "I also have to tell you something in to do with Jaemin. Now, you have to promise not to get mad, because I was pretty fucking stupid and maybe bashed half the chances we have of dating him."

Renjun raised an eyebrow and interlocked his fingers on his knees. "Pray tell. I hope it's not too bad, because I don't want to have to strangle you right after we've confessed to one another." 

Jeno swallowed, before finally spilling out his regrets, "Well, since I've liked you since forever — Did you know that, by the way? Since we were, like, fourteen — I had a lot of feelings pent up in me and then at the party that I went to at Eric's house with the team, Jaemin kind of, you could say, triggered my emotions and I kind of end up telling him I liked you so much it was painful." 

Renjun nodded slowly, a small smile on his face. "So you've liked me since we were fourteen? Woah. But... you told Jaemin?"

"Don't tease me, Snaggletooth. Whatever you do, don't tease me. Here comes the... part." Jeno could steadily feel himself turning redder under Renjun's gaze. "Ah... fuck it. We had to do Seven Minutes in Heaven together, and let's just say we took the traditional route with that game."

Renjun slapped his hands against the table and leaned forward. "You did not." 

Jeno smiled sheepishly. "Yeah."

"You... kissed him? Really?"

"And then I told him I couldn't kiss him because I liked you." 

Renjun held his head in his hands. "You dumbass." 

Jeno winced. Renjun never cursed. He could only respond with, "Yeah. It's dumb."

"I would — I would absolutely kill you right now," Renjun warned, holding his finger up threateningly. "You could have jeopardised everything — imagine how embarrassed Jaemin would have felt. What if it hurt him?" Renjun implored. Jeno hung his head, nodding like he'd considered all of this and more. 

"I would kill you," Renjun reiterated. "But it's just that Jaemin told me something —" Renjun paused, adding "— right after he kissed me on the sidewalk."

"He what? But why did — then does he — what?"  Jeno had never really had a way with words, apparently.

Renjun smiled, any strict energy he'd had about him dissipating. "It was really cute, but I don't know why or what made him do it. But, afterwards, he said this to me: 'I don't think I'd be able to date Jeno without you.' Jeno, what do you think that means?"

"Holy shit," Jeno whispered, "He actually said that? Really?" 

Renjun nodded, smiling. "Jeno, you know what this means, right?"

Jeno nodded, new hope lancing across his features, making him look fresh and awake after he'd recounted his mistake at the party. "There's a possibility Jaemin want to be with both of us. We have a chance — the perfect chance, so..."

The words were out of their mouths as soon as they thought them: "We have to try to tell him."

***

next chapter's the last! i hope you've enjoyed this story up till now :)