A/N: This has been a long time coming. And I know some of y'all don't like Jessy, but please try to see stuff from her point of view. Not too much hate pleaseee.

Oh, and vote thank you XD

"Dammit! I forgot the milk again," Liam says as he walks in through the apartment door.

"You literally always forget something when you walk in here," I laugh.

Liam does one of his guilty smiles that makes his rare dimples appear and walks over with the grocery bags just so he can greet me with a kiss. I smile through it before pushing away his army-cut head and stepping back to continuing with the laundry.

"Well, I'm lazy so we can just order some pizza," I suggest while blowing a brunette lock of hair out of my face.

"For once, you actually have a good idea," Liam says impressed and folds his large arms across his chest.

"Hey! I always have good ideas!" I defend.

Liam raises his one of his eyebrows and says in deadpan, "Like the time we went to the beach and you thought it was smart to sneak bread crumbs onto my head?"

I can't help laughing at the memory. "That was hilarious," I chuckle.

"I probably have brain damage after those seagulls attacked my head," Liam mumbles and rubs his head with the memory still fresh.

"You had brain damage long before that," I scoff and take a sip of my tea while finishing with the washing.

"What was that?" Liam asks while glaring at me.

"See. Brain damage," I laugh.

"Whatever," Liam smiles.

I give him one of my I'm always right looks and he suddenly goes into beast mode as he sprints and tackles me onto the coach.

"Liam! AHH! LIAM MY RIBS! YOU'RE KILLING ME!" I laugh and cry at the same time.

"MEOW!" Socks complains and I suddenly realize we're on the cat.

"Oh, shit! Liam, we're crushing Socks!" I call out and quickly  try raising myself so the ginger cat and her white paws can get out from under me.

Liam re-positions himself so he's not crushing me under his mass of muscles and then gives me another kiss when I'm breathing again. I look into his brown eyes and just can't stop smiling. 

"You almost killed Socks," I chuckle.

"The cat hates me in anyway."

"Well, now you're really going to get it. You know she's going to leave a big fat shit on your side of the bed tonight, right?"

"Yeah," Liam sighs and then continues smiling at me.

After my father died a year ago and Amber refused to show a speck of emotion, Liam was the one that stayed by my side. Liam followed me all the way to the other side of the world. Liam bought an apartment with me - regrettably with the money Amber sent. And Liam is the one making me smile every day when I want to cry while wondering where my Mom is and if she's fine losing both her husband and her daughter. All I know is, that she'll have enough money after I sent her all the money Amber sent me.

"What are you thinking about?" Liam asks.

"What flavored pizza we're going to order," I lie.

Liam chuckles and says: "You don't get flavored pizza. You get types of pizza."

I frown at that. "Sure you get flavored pizza."

Liam has a mischievous grin when he says, "I want some Jessy flavored pizza."

"Weirdo!" I laugh and push Liam off of me. 

"Pineapple on pizza lover," Liam shoots back.

Oh it's on.

"Jock stereotype."

"Basic bitch stereotype."

"All muscle, no brains."

"All converse, no originality."

"Bald."

Liam gasps out loud and holds his hand to his chest like I literally just shot him. He's making this dramatic as usual. "That hurt my feelings," Liam sniffs and pouts like a little kid.

"Oh relax, you big lump of meat," I laugh and go to stand on my tippy toes so I can kiss Liam's, practically bald army hair cut.

I hear my phone beep a couple of times on the coffee table and walk over while Liam calls the pizza delivery place. I slump down onto the second hand couch and unlock my phone.

Goosebumps suddenly appear on my arms when I see who the messages are from.

"Amber..."

"What's that?" Liam calls from the kitchen and walks over.

I stay staring at my phone.

"It's my cousin... Amber... she... she messaged me..." I whisper.

"Wow. Amber, you say? Never thought she'd actually message you... She was pretty... dead after dying. What does she want? I have no clue what's going on in Tygerwell. The last time Blake tried to contact me was a few months ago," Liam says.

I read the message and can't help the deep frown settling in.

"She says she's not in the gang life anymore," I say confused.

"But isn't she Sterling's leader or something?" Liam asks.

"She says that Jane is Sterling's true leader. Who the hell is Jane? The only Jane I know is the shy girl from school," I reply.

Liam walks over and sits down next to me while we both stare at the messages. It seems that Amber has completely left or something. But where? She says she's average now. She doesn't seem happy about leaving...

I know my cousin. My... my sister. She was always in love with adventure and danger. I had my phase as well after she finally rubbed off on me. Amber may never have worn bad-ass outfits or been particularly showy about her training, but I knew that on the inside, she was born for this.

When we were kids she always dared climbing to the highest branch of the tree. She always took me with her to the toy store and while I was excited to see dolls and teddies, Amber marveled at the toy guns. Yet she'd still go to the art store afterwards. 

When we were teenagers, Amber would trade the toy store for a gun store. But still go to a second hand vintage shop afterwards. I never understood that. And when I met Liam and got introduced to the gangs, I always knew at the back of my mind that Amber would've been perfect for it. A lot better than me at least. Her excitement for danger and adventure rubbed off, but when I saw the truth. The death and the hurt... I couldn't take it. I didn't want to take it. I want to be normal.

So, I really wasn't surprised when Amber got mixed up in gangs after day one in Tygerwell. It was in her blood after all. I tried keeping her away, because I didn't want her to see the ugly part. The death and unbearable pain.

Yet... Amber faced that. The ugly parts... She faced death and hurt and came out on the other side wanting more. 

I hated her for being strong enough.

But I hated myself a little more.

I stare down at the text again. She... she's sorry about my dad? She wants me to forgive her?

"It looks like she's really regretting what happened between you two," Liam observes.

"She's asking for my forgiveness..." I whisper. "She's asking for my forgiveness, not knowing that I forgave her the minute I walked out of that house. She's asking for my forgiveness, not knowing I realized how unfair it was to throw the anger of my father's death at her mere minutes after she wakes up. She's asking for my forgiveness, not knowing that it's myself I'm struggling to forgive," I say louder.

All the pain I try keeping tucked away, comes flooding me. It's always the same thoughts rushing through me when In think of my father's death. 

He didn't deserve dying. And now I won't ever hear him call a toasted a bread tanner or watch him beg Mom for a cat or sing the Pretty Little Liars theme song at the top of his lungs or forget to add water with his two-minute meals or struggle figuring out the washing machine or telling me he loves me or bringing my mom grass from the front garden to put in the vase, because flowers was just too basic.

The worst part is wondering whether he'd still be alive if I didn't fall in love with Liam and get involved with gangs.

All I can do now, is stay away and hope it's enough.

And once again I get proven that Amber is so much stronger than me. My father dies, and I run away and throw my anger at everyone. When both her parents died, she didn't take it out on anyone. She cried and tried moving on. Tried being happy even though she felt guilty for being anything, but sad.

She though being happy made her a horrible person, not knowing how strong it made her and how much I envy her now.

I'm suddenly aware of the tears almost breaking through and how shallow my breathing is.

"Babe... I... I'm here," Liam says because of course there's nothing he could say that would make me change my mind.

I stay quiet and keep staring at the last text.

"What are you going to do? You going to text her back?" Liam asks.

I shake my head. "No. I'm done with that life. If I text her back, I'll just go back in there and right now... We have more important things to deal with," I answer.

"But she's family?"

"You're my family now."

Liam pauses, looks down at the text and then sighs when he says: "It looks like Tygerwell is going to have shit going down soon. Who knows what'll happen or who will die."

"Yeah, who knows... We are far away and safe, my mom is far away and safe and apparently Amber is also far away and safe. That's good enough for me," I say.

Liam shrugs and the doorbell rings, so we both get up. My boyfriend offers to go pay for the pizza and I just stand there waiting.

I cannot afford to get involved... Amber will just have to learn to be average. And Tygerwell will just have to burn... My days in the gang life are done... 

Socks appears from wherever she's been hiding and rubs herself against my leg. I look down at my flat stomach and put my hand over it. "I have to take care of more than just myself now," I whisper.

Heyyy goldies!

So this was a short and basic chapter, but still needed. Wow, it's been what? 68 chapters since we last saw Jessy? Long time no see.

Who knows why Jessy can't help Amber?

Who thinks she'll make an appearance?

Who thinks she'll just stay away and this was a goodbye.

~ Holly Shmit