"Michael's here."

Luke stopped in his tracks and turned around slowly, "What?"

"Michael's here," Calum repeated, not quite believing it himself.

Luke rushed over to where Calum stood on the sidewalk. His eyes searched for a frenzy of color, but there was none. "I don't see him."

"He's over there," Calum pointed hesitantly to the corner of an alley, a small dot of dirty blonde just peaking out.

Luke narrowed his eyes, but after knowing his best friend for so long, he could easily identify him from the back of his head. Even so, he had his doubts. How could he be here? Why would he suddenly decide to show up, especially without telling them? "That can't be Michael, Calum. Jack said he saw him right before he left Australia right? That would've given him about," he calculated quickly in his head, "a day to just pack up and leave?"

Calum kept on staring off in the same direction. "It's easy enough; Michael has always been the one to make quick decisions."

They stood there just watching the natural blonde sit on the cement, until he placed a palm on the ground and pushed himself up. Calum and Luke watched as the boy dusted himself off and spoke a few words to his right. Then, he turned on his heel and walked in the opposite direction.

Luke looked over to Calum's alert expression, "We have to get him."

Calum turned and just nodded in approval, then dashed off immediately after Michael. Luke followed closely behind and as their feet hit the pavement hard, they forgot all about the piercing cold and their sore feet from walking around town all day. Calum's arm reached out in front of him to grab Michael's shoulder and he grasped tightly and pulled the boy back.

Michael let out a small yelp as Luke approached them and his head swiftly turned to stare right into Calum's eyes. Calum's tight hold of Michael weakened and his arm fell to his side. Green eyes captivated his own and without thinking any further Calum wrapped his arms around the tall boy; letting his familiar scent drift into his nose.

Luke stopped right beside the two boys and let out a small smile.

"Michael, it's been so long." Calum's voice cracked slightly as it was cached in emotion, and he shut his eyes to fully comprehend what was going on.

Michael, still slightly startled from the sudden contact, hesitantly put his arms around Calum. His eyes trailed up to Luke who returned his surprised expression with a goofy wave. "Calum," he breathed out and stared at the boy who was hugging him. "And Luke," a grin began to grow on his face as he begun to wrap his mind around the fact that he had been reunited with his best friends.

Calum released himself shakily from Michael's embrace and stood awkwardly next to Luke. "Um, so how have you been?"

It was a stupid question; they all knew Michael was not doing well, as one could easily tell from how long he isolated himself from family and friends. But after such a long time being apart and taking his fragility into account, Calum found it hard to act the same lighthearted way as he used to.

"Yeah," Luke backed him up. "What's been going on?"

Michael momentarily looked past the two boys, an unreadable emotion in his eyes, then grabbed both of their arms and tugged them farther down the street. "Let's get out of people's way."

Luke and Calum looked at each other before they nodded and followed. Michael led them into a Starbucks at the end of the block and they sat down in an empty table near the window.

Before anyone could say anything, Luke's phone rang loudly, disrupting the thick air between them. He fumbled with his huge phone and quickly accepted the call.

"Hello? Jack? Yeah, we left." He paused as his brother spoke on the other line. "No, we're not gonna be back anytime soon..." he looked up at Michael, "something came up. Are you gonna go back to her house?" he nodded. "Yeah, see you soon." He hung up and stuffed his phone back into his pocket. "So, uh, what's been going on?" He repeated his question for earlier.

Michael's smile dimmed a bit and he sighed and stared out the window, something both wistful and saddening in his eyes. "You know what's going on," he stated nonchalantly. "Ashton's gone and there's no real use in me being here anymore."

Calum couldn't pinpoint whether or not he meant him literally being in Los Angeles, or if he was referring to him as a living person. He decided to go with the first idea, not wanting to cross a certain line with Michael. There was always something off about the way Michael acted, even way before the accident, but Calum never really spent much thought on it since he wouldn't show that part of him very much. One moment he was quiet and wanted to be alone, and then suddenly he'd act like a wild party animal. A part of him was hoping that right now was one of those times, but his heavy features caused him to think otherwise.

"Don't say that," Luke replied worriedly. "There's still us. We're still here."

Michael shrugged and ruffled his messy hair even more. "I just don't really want to stay in the place that reminds me the most of it for longer than I have to. I'm here to sign the papers and that's it."

Calum furrowed his eyebrows, "But..."

Michael shook his head. "I can't stay here, Calum, no matter what you guys say."

"But we're staying, Michael." Calum's gentle demeanor faded. "We're trying so hard to live through this, so why can't you put the effort in too?"

Luke's head shot towards Calum's hardened expression, unaware of the fact that he planned on staying - and was also taken aback when he implied that both of them were. But he stayed silent, curious to know what Michael would say in response.

"You guys don't understand," he whispered. "I can't."

"Why not?" Calum pressed.

"I just can't, okay?" Michael said louder this time.

"There's nothing that we don't understand, Michael. We're in the same boat as you. The band and Ashton means the world to the three of us, but we can either choose to move on and keep living, or we can stop and drown ourselves in self-pity." By this time, Calum had stood up from his seat. His fists were clenched tightly at his sides, but his voice was surprisingly low and quiet. He could get riled up so easily, and most of the time he hated that about himself, but this time Michael deserved it. He was being selfish; he wasn't the only one who was hurting.

"Calum." Luke deadpanned. "Lay off."

"No, Luke, I will not 'lay off'!" He half-shouted. "Michael needs to understand that we aren't complete without Ash here, but if he leaves too then it's just another piece of us that's gone."

Michael looked down at his lap, not saying a word.

Luke sighed and shifted in his seat; folding his hands onto his lap. "Although Calum has a harsh way of saying it, I agree with him. You can't keep hiding, Michael. We need you too, and believe it or not, it's been hard to stay here, but it's what will help us move on."

Michael licked his lips nervously and his eyes darted around. "I can never forget what happened to Ashton, no matter what happens to me. And that also means that I can never fully escape the fact that what happened to him is my fault."

Calum furrowed his brows; wondering if he heard him right. "Michael, what happened was not your fault. How did you even start to think that?"

He shook his head as if to cut off any further discussion of his confession.

Luke's forehead crinkled in confusion as well. "Yeah, it was an accident. There's nothing you could've done to help it. Hèll, Isla couldn't even had done anything else."

Michael shook his head again, "It's all my fault."

-

Isla was on her way to Kylie's after Michael spoke to her in the alleyway.

He introduced himself after she was sure she recognized him as the Michael Clifford. Her bleary vision had halted her from seeing his entire face and features, but after she confessed all that was her mind to someone who she believed to be a complete stranger, sadness was no longer the dominant emotion, but anger.

Anger always seemed to clear her senses; perhaps not her rationality, but it made everything seem so real in front of her eyes.

But when she realized that she actually was talking to one of the people who theoretically blamed her for ruining their life, her insecurities rose up once more. She'd told him almost everything that had happened since that day in July; and he stayed completely silent. Though it wasn't a blank silence, it was a thoughtful one. Like he was taking everything she was saying into account, analyzing her every word.

She didn't even realize how much time passed when she completely spilled. Some of the things she said she hadn't even mentioned to Kylie; maybe it was the thought that she would never see this person again, so she didn't fear his judgment.

And he was surprisingly understanding. He didn't say anything on advice, only a "good luck". But just those two words held so much sincerity, and she knew that he truly wanted her to be able to overcome her inner battle against herself. And once he revealed himself, they only exchanged a few words, her's mostly being disbelief.

When she asked him what was on his mind, in an attempt to return the favor of listening, he just shook his head sadly. No matter how she protested against it, he wouldn't speak. Finally, she stopped, knowing that she wouldn't be able to change his mind.

Once she was about to say goodbye, he slid a small piece of paper. She gave it a curious look then waved him away, deciding that she would look at it later. He smiled softly in response and swiftly left the dirty alleyway.

She sat there for a few more moments just letting what happened in the past hour just sink in.

She fumbled with the small piece of paper, squinting her eyes at the pencil scribbles on the page. It was only one single sentence:

if you ever need to talk to anyone, just go to griffith park anytime during the rest of the week. -m

She held that note tightly in her hand as she walked up to Kylie's front door. Her baggy hoodie was light on her skin, and barely provided warmth in the cold as she waited. She noticed the bright strings of lights that hung around the house, causing her to smile at the thought of the holidays. Tomorrow was Christmas Eve and she still hadn't bought any presents yet.

She mentally thought of what she might possibly get for her family and close friends. The door opened as she was immersed in thought, and she almost jumped in surprise.

Kylie stood in the doorway, her blonde hair tied back in a messy ponytail, and her blue eyes looking worn out. "Thank god," she breathed out. "You're finally here."

And then she engulfed her in a tight hug as Isla crinkled her brows in confusion. "What happened? You look tired as hëll."

She groaned and they went inside. "Miya is being absolutely horrible. She's acting so fake!"

Isla wasn't surprised, to be honest. When she first met Miya when she was in sixth grade, the older girl wanted absolutely nothing to do with Kylie or any of her friends. She was far from the "cool" older sister and constantly acted like it was embarrassing to be around anyone who associated with Kylie. Apparently she had a reputation to uphold, and Kylie wasn't up to her standards.

"What has she done?" Isla asked with pure curiosity.

"Well first of all, she brought her stupid boyfriend over from her university in Australia and all they do is flirt and it makes me nauseous. She acts like she loves me and that we're 'best friends'." Kylie said this softly, hoping that only Isla could hear.

"Why did she even come back home? When she still lived here she was always complaining about how you and your parents are annoying." Isla remarked with amusement.

Kylie shrugged dramatically. "I have no idea. But she said something about how families should spend holidays together or some bull crap that she would've never said before."

Before Isla could open her mouth to respond, two people walked into the area before the front door.

"Isla, is that you? You've grown so much!" Miya squealed and ran to hug her.

Isla almost gagged in revolt. Her eyes went wide and made contact with Kylie's look of 'I told you she was crazy'. She laughed unhumorously and patted Miya's back awkwardly as the taller blonde girl squeezed her torso.

Then her eyes shifted to the man who stood a few feet behind who looked strikingly similar to a person she knew. He stood with a laid back posture, and his hands were stuffed deep into his jeans. His stance was quite tall; a solid 8 inches taller than Isla.

When Miya pulled away, the man walked up to her with a bright smile. He held out his hand to shake and spoke with a thick Australian accent. "Hi, I'm Jack!"

-

sorry for making the updates take so long i suck