You know how people say When it comes to family, people say it's the closet thing a person can have and they're there to lift you to your feet.

Yet I sit down and look at my the one family member who loves bringing me down and crushing my self esteem.

I try relaxing.

I see a bath and I imagine myself falling under the water and holding myself under until I can't hold my breath no longer.

I see the fire of my lit candles and I hold my hands over until they go raw and feel like I just touched a stove.

I sit there in silence with a pain in my chest that I can't get rid of because it is cause by a reason so small, that if I Said how it made me feel at all.

I'd be called dramatic and that I'm being a drama queen and now I feel as if I wanna cry but the tears never fall and I open my mouth to speak but I find myself.

All choked up.