So...

Earlier I worked myself up into a panic attack. It's been a really long time since I've had one that bad.

Hormones, stress, and midnight thoughts got to me all at the same time and it sent me over the edge.

I don't think anyone was awake...

I didn't want to bother anyone.

I'm sorry.

I thought I was getting better. Everything was okay. But now I'm back where I started.

It's always the same thing, over and over again. I can't win. I think things are okay, then suddenly I have a breakdown worse than I have in months. I hate it. I hate feeling like I'm weak. I hate feeling broken.

Why am I like this? What's wrong with me? Why can't I hold myself together?

I can't do this anymore.

My mind is killing me. Things that haven't even happened yet are enough to have me shaking and sobbing. I can't handle it anymore.

Everything hurts.