Every night my mind goes to the same damn place and I just want it to stop. I want to forget the past and just be able to move on. I don't want to have to force down tears nightly. I want peace.

I hate that my mind defaults to the negative. What does that say about me? I know I'm negative and cynical and pessimistic, but that shouldn't be my default.

I just want to have a peaceful night for fucking once, but it seems like as soon as my mind stops being busy, I'm back in that dark part of my mind.

I can't stay busy forever. I can avoid thinking for as long as possible, but eventually I need sleep.

The thing about it is I went through it once, but I'm forced to relive it every night and it brings back all those feelings and that hurt.

Just make it stop.