My dad, like three years ago: [person says crap in a YouTube video] ivana change that!! It has too many bad words!!

My dad now: hey u know what the French word for threesome is?? Also, if in a threesome it's two girls and a guy or vice versa at least ONE of them has to be bisexual!! Did u know that Pete wentz is bisexual??? ONE TIME I GOT ARRETED WHEN I WAS 17 BECAUSE I WAS MAKING OUT WITH THIS GIRL IN THE CAR IN A BEACH AND IT GOT PRETTY HEATED— WE BOTH TOOK OUR SHIRTS OFF, BUT U KNOW, THAT HAPPENS WHEN UR—

Me: dAD PLEASE

I'm not joking this has actually happened okay I am not joking

Hey fun fact about me when I point my toes my feet look like dicks from certain angles this is very true u can ask Alex and my fren dan I tried it on snapchat also add me on sc if u want the dankest memes™ out there and if u want constant bugging from someone who has over 20 unfinished storied but "nO SETIOUSLY I HAVE ANOTHER IDEA PLS"™

Who wants to know about all of my family members!!
Y'all: ivana wtf fuck ofF
Me: haha... Okay okay I'll do it

Mami
Papi
Mandy the 6yro gremlin aka my sis
Ica
Titi Joji
Tio Omar
Tio José
Tio Edwin
Mumi
Doel Dee
Genne
Titi Mildred
Titi lily
Titi Cuca
Snowman
Mia
Zuly
Titi Nancy
Does
Ahmed
Indy
Diego
Camila
Ever
Abuela
Abuelo
El Abuelo
Yolian
Angel
Andres Javier
Idel
Alberto
Alejandro
Randy
Tio Rony

And I'm missing SO MANY MORE but that most (I think) right off the top of my head

Me @ me rn: wyd??

I rlly need to stop making pointless chapters to distract myself from writing shit