Wow I haven't updated in a long time

Me: sees an attractive d00d on the street I literally have no chances with and will probably never see again

Me @ me: no. We are not doing this. Don't catch feelings for the guy. U don't know him. There's no such thing as true love at first sight. Don't u fucking do it u hoe. Don't u fuckin

Me: ........

Me @ me: hoE

Me: catches feelings

Me @ me: I'm about to McFreaking Lose It™

For a Certified Sex-Repulsed/Neutral Ace™ I do make a lot of sex jokes

ALSO I went to a Maroon 5 concert yesterday ((if u have sc you'll see the vids)) and so my uncle when we were leaving he got like 16 condoms (bc there were stands around and they were giving them away free to protect against Zika) (I actually thought it was kind of nice after the initial surprise) and he went around trying to sell them I fucking cried
"2 for one dollar people"
"U know what u can just have them for free"
"THAT LADY OVER THERE IS MY SISTER"
"They can be balloons!"
"I'm going to give these away if I become a uber driver"

—actual phrases my uncle said ok

Wow I'm so cringe

Follow me on Tumblr!!1!1! --->roses4nana