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                                                                                               The Authors

KATNISS

We stumbled through the rubble of the Bakery. The burnt building unrecognizable destroyed on the ground, surrounded by ash. After putting out the fire, Peeta and I examined the Bakery. Looking for any remnants of our collapsed Bakery. I couldn't believe this was happening. Why was everything falling apart? I just needed one good solid thing to stay in my life. To be a constant thing that I could always count on. Peeta used to be that for me, but I had broken everything between us.

I walked up to Peeta. I needed to get away from here, everything I saw reminded me of something I had lost, or messed up. Our Bakery was gone, Prim was gone, everyone was gone. Peeta said he would never leave me, but that's what the other had said too. How was I supposed to believe him too?

"Peeta, I need a break, I need to go somewhere else. I need to be away from here- from the memories," I stammered, and of course I was going to make no sense to him. He didn't understand that every thing I saw was a reminder of Prim. Of my Father. Of the Bakery. Of him. It hurt too much to keep getting reminded of everything, of the mess that my life had become. Tears slipped down my face, and he looked at me, pain in his eyes.

"Katniss- Kat I know this is hard but I need you please don't leave me," He pleaded.

I shook my head. I needed to get away.

"No, Peeta you don't understand. I need to go. Please, please," I begged, and he looked at me, not understanding me, not understanding the reason that I needed to leave. He never understood, but maybe it was my fault, maybe I was the problem.

Peeta silently stared at me, shock and frustration danced in his eyes. I couldn't take it anymore, I turned around and ran, my thoughts were scrambled. I couldn't remember what had triggered me at the Bakery's rubble. I couldn't put a pin on what item I held in my hand but I clutched it as I ran through town.

Subconsciously I ran home, to my home for the majority of my sixteen years of life. I knocked on the door hoping my mother was home.

The door creaked open but the person behind it wasn't the person I had hoped for.

"Katniss?" He asked. I sighed, trying to breathe evenly.

"Hi Dad," I said, my voice wavering, "Can I stay here for a little while?" I asked, his eyes widened.

"Oh um, sure come in," I walked in, I saw my Mom sitting at the kitchen counter, sorting her medical supplies.

"Katniss! Honey, what happened?" She asked. I looked away, trying to forget the many scenes I had caused.

"I'm not ready to say, I just need some rest." She nodded, seeing I was not in a mood to be questioned. I walked down the hall to my old room, all was as it was before, in my many months away my family was yet to change my room. I laid on my bed, I was utterly exhausted and I knew nightmares would chase me in my sleep making rest impossible but I had no other choice, I fell into the dark abyss.

~

I sat in the meadow, the one that had brought me such peace not so long ago but now was just a memory like the rest of my life. I heard the mockingjays singing, I looked over and saw Peeta and two little girls picking flowers. One of them grabbed a dandelion and blew it in Peeta's face, he laughed lightly and hugged her. He pulled the second girl into his embrace, they were our daughters. It was odd I couldn't make out their features, but I knew they were my daughter's, my bugs. Suddenly I saw a wall of fire, it looked just as the bakery had, the flames were nearing Peeta and the girls and they didn't seem to notice. I tried to scream, I tried to run to them but the flames swallowed them and I stood frozen as my family burned into nothing and I was once again alone.

~

I woke up screaming, I continued screaming, Peeta was nowhere to be found. Was it real? I thought utterly terrified.

"Katniss?" Someone said from outside my door, I took a shaky breath trying to calm down, but it seemed impossible.

"Yeah?" I responded, my voice giving away my state.

"Can I come in, honey?" They asked, I nodded but then realized they couldn't see me.

"Yeah," I said, I thought I had said it too quietly but then the door opened. My Father walked in, he went and sat in the edge of my bed, he didn't seem to know what to do, I sat up and wrapped my arms around him, he took a moment but he wrapped his arms around me, I sighed , his arms almost felt like Peeta's, not quite but almost.

"Katniss, what happened?" He asked. I sighed, snuggling my head deeper into my Father's warm embrace.

"I had a nightmare," I murmured, almost ashamed of myself. He ran a hand through my tangled hair.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked, clearly not sure how to handle this situation. I shook my head slightly, "Well, what can I do?" He asked.

"Just hold me," I said, asking to be held like a small child. He wrapped his arms tighter around me and I embraced the warmth trying to find peace in my scrambled head.

"What happened, Daddy? Why are you good now?" I asked, feeling like this was the smallest I'd ever been, wrapped in my Father's arms absolutely helpless.

"After Prim," he said, almost as if that was enough of an answer, it almost was. "After Prim, I knew I had to change. Like you said it as my fault, now I have to protect both you and your Mom," He explained, my mind flashed to my moment when I had blamed him wholeheartedly.

"No, Daddy. It wasn't your fault. I was upset and hormonal. Don't believe the things I said," I told him quietly, he took a deep breath but shook his head.

"No, I had been gone for hours. Your Mom told me to come right back home after I got the medicine.. I wasn't there in time," He grumbled unhappily, he seemed to believe his words.

"No, Daddy. It was just.. time. Don't blame yourself. You're here protecting me now. That is what is important," I told him, he sighed. He played with my hair gently, soon enough I was struggling to keep my eyes open. In my Father's warm and safe embrace I fell into a much needed sleep.

~

The next few days my Mother, Father and I figured out an unspoken schedule. We woke up, made breakfast together, ate breakfast together, my Father and I would take Lupus and go hunt then trade at the Hob. We'd get home in time in the evening to prepare supper for my Mother and then we'd go to bed and repeat the schedule.

"Dad! Where did you leave those bones? I was going to use for Lupus?" I called. He popped his head into the kitchen where I was.

"In the bucket under the sink," He said, I checked under the sink and sure enough there was a pile of bones in a bucket. I handed one to Lupus, he chewed on it happily as I searched for the spiked meat that would be his breakfast.

"Come on, Dad. I fed Lupus. We need to leave before the game is all gone," I called, he came into the kitchen with a small grin on his face, one that I was still getting used to. Before the last few days I hadn't seen a smile from him.

"You know Kat, no one else will hunt the game, it's just you and me. And for the last few months they had no predators but each other, they might overpopulate," He told me with a chuckle. I smiled, hunting was an amazing way to distract myself that is why I was so eager.

"Well, let's go! You know how much Sae likes having fresh meat for her daily special!" I reminded him, he chuckled once again, he led me to the door, he slipped my jacket on my shoulders and led me outside. "You know, Dad, I'm not four anymore. I know how to get there," Told him, He just shook his head at me.

I chased Lupus as he ran for the woods. In the woods I heard the birds sing, Lupus slowed down and slinked through the woods quietly. My Father followed Lupus and I.

Lupus pointed his nose up quickly and I saw a large buck staring at a much smaller rabbit. I quickly pulled out an arrow and adjusted my bow. I breathed in, pointing the arrow, then I released it. Releasing my arrow right into the bucks eye. The rabbit ran off and my Dad quickly and strategically shot the bucks heart to kill it. I let out a small happy laugh. I rushed over to the buck and pulled the arrows out, placing them back into my sheath. My Dad came up behind me, he tied the legs together, I closed the animals eyes, something I had always done for Prim's sake, I didn't have to do it now, it was a habit now.

My Dad must have noticed because he sighed sadly, he put the buck into his game bag, which had been empty up until now, I had caught a rabbit earlier.

My Father and I headed back to Twelve, back to the Hob. My Father traded the buck with the butcher for a few coins and I traded the rabbits with Greasy Sae for tonight's supper. My Father and I waved to the people in the hob before heading home.

I have to admit, this schedule and pattern did a very good job at distracting me, it made me forget the random flutters in my stomach. It distracted me from the pain I was causing Peeta.

~

A few days later my Father had to work and my Mother was once again sorting through her medical supplies. I sat on the couch reading a book. Today was a harder day, with nothing to specifically distract me from my thoughts. I'd tried to forget and sink into my head.

"Katniss, honey, can you go to the Hob and buy me some stuff? I have a list of supplies I'm running low on," My Mom asked me. I stood up and walked to her, eager for something to do.

"Yeah, of course." I said. I took the list and left. I walked to town, when I got near the Hob I decided to look at the list to see where to go. I was too busy looking down to notice the person I bumped into.

"Oh!" I exclaim.

"Oof!" they said.

"Oh my god, I'm sorry! I wasn't;t looking where I was going," I mumbled.

"Hey, it's quite alright..." They said I recognized the voice.

We both stop when we see one another.

"Katniss.." He mumbled.

"Peeta.."I said. He looked at me in shock, why did I have to bump into him? I thought, panicking.

"H-How are you?" he stumbles.

"Good...and yourself?" I answer quietly.

"I'm doing good. Just on my way to the Hob," He tells me.

"I was too.." I tell him.

"How are you feeling? How are the girls?" He asks.

"I'm fine. They are too, Mother says," I tell him.

"Good...good. Uhm, may I?" he asks. I nod, he gently reaches out a hand and puts his hand on my stomach, I feel the flutters again and he stares at my stomach, at his girls.

"I..miss you, Katniss," He mutters softly.

"I know... I'm sorry," I say as his eyes meet my watery ones.

"Come back to me. Please? I miss you. I need you. I miss our Little Bugs.. Please let me in. Please come back to me," he begs.

I gently take his hand off of my stomach. "Peeta..I can't yet. I'm not ready.." I say, my voice breaking.

"But why? I told you I loved you! I will always love you! Don't give a damn what others think! Okay? I love you! I'll shout it from the top of the word! I ring it from the fucking rooftops!" he exclaims, I know he loves me, that's what got us here, his love is too much for me.

"Peeta, stop it. You're making a scene," I hiss through my teeth.

"I don't care, Katniss! I love you! You're my wife! The mother to my little girls! Just come back! Don't give in to what the world thinks of us, okay! All I care about it is you. That's why I married you! That's why we are having two beautiful little girls," he tells me.I am shocked by his outburst. I can't deal with this, I can't deal with him.

"Stop it, Peeta. Let me have this! I need time! I told you, okay!?" I yell. "Just let me do this! I know what you think! But my heart can't, okay!? Give me time!"

We both have tears falling. The onlookers have gone back to their business, yet whispers still linger.

"I love you, Peeta.. I just.. I need space. I'm sorry," I say quietly, my voice wavering with tears.

I shakily raise my hand, not sure what I'm Doing, and pull off my diamond ring. I take his hand and open it. I place it in his palm and close his fist.

"I'll be back.. I'll wear it again. I promise. I just.. Need more time. Please?" I tell him sadly.

All he does is nod, I rush away, the empty feeling on my finger almost unbearable. I hurry to get away from there, ducking into an alley. I put a hand over my mouth to suppress the cries that need to be free. I let the tears fall. I feel my heart beating a million miles per hour, yet breaking into a million pieces.

Why, Peeta? Why did you make me feel again? I think. I want you back..but my heart can't accept it. I just needed time..that's all I asked for. I love you... I really do. I just...can't. I don't know what I need.

I wipe the tears off of my face and take some deep breaths. I situate my game bag and brush myself off. I head to the Hob and go inside. Sae is as happy to see me as ever. She flags me down.

"Katniss! Sweetie! Where have you been? We've needed your fresh game here," She says and gives me a tight squeeze.

"Careful there, Sae. Don't squeeze too hard, or you'll crush the babies," I say with a light laugh, returning her squeeze.

"Babies? You mean you're expecting, girlie? Already? Ain't you a bit young? Here to get those herbs for it?" She asks, quietly.

"No, no, I'm going to keep them. I'm not here for me, for my mother," I say.

"Oh, gotcha. Congrats on the buns in there," She says.

"Thank you, Sae," I say with a small smile.

"Whatcha Mother looking for?" Sae asks, changing the subject.

"Um, she gave me a list. One second," I say and dig through my game bag. "Oh, but first your meat. Me and my father caught it."

"In your condition? You best be careful out there. Even if you are one of the best hunters this town will ever see. Wouldn't want them hurt," She says.

"I know, don't worry about it. I'm being extra careful. No more climbing trees," I say, and hand her the meat.

"Thank you, doll. Now, as for your Mother?" She asks, giving me the coins in exchange.

"She needs,

Cinnamon

Sage

Basil

Garlic

Cloth

Cotton balls," I read.

"You got it. Hang tight girlie, I'll go get those, for ya." She says with her toothy smile.

I nod and smile back. She leaves behind her stand into the back of the Hob. I sat down at one one the mismatched chairs that lined her stand. I sighed listening to the comforting hustle and bustle of the hob. The vendors had their stands and called out to people trying to catch a buyer or two. The butcher traded and boasted loudly, the few peacekeepers walked around trying to catch deals.

I watched as Greasy Sae started making a pile of items on her makeshift counter. Once she had all the items she handed them over and I paid her with a few coins. I took a deep breath walking out of the Hob. Memories of my bumping into Peeta flashes through my head.

I didn't notice the tall figure that stood before me until he spoke.

"Hey Catnip," He said. I glanced up and gasped.

"Oh my god Gale, you scared me," I said, taking a deep breath.

"Oh, sorry," He said. "So how have you been- wait where is your husband?"

I felt a lump in my throat. I tried to swallow it. "He's with my mother. Sent me to collect a few things. I have to go," I rush and push past him.

I accept the supplies that Sae got for me and pay her. I rush out of the Hob. I don't know why I am afraid of Gale. He's.. my friend. I guess my heart can't be trusted around him. I don't want to fall into something or get hurt by him anymore.

"Katniss!" I hear him call.

I don't turn around. I walk faster to get to my home. Suddenly I'm pulled aside into the ally of the Slag Heap. The breath gets knocked out of me and I feel the fear take over.

"Gale.. What are you doing? Let me go. I have to go," I say quietly, my voice quivering and my heartbeats a million miles per hour.

I know he wouldn't hurt me. But now that he is handling me this way, I am beyond afraid.

"Look, Katniss... I know what's happening. I know what's going on. I'll be here since Bread Boy won't. You know I always loved you. We don't even have to get married. I'll raise those little ones with you instead of him. I love you always." He says deathly low.

I hear my heart pound in my ears. I am afraid to look into his eyes, but his grey look into mine. A mixture of lust and anger lurks there. It makes my heart twist in a very wrong way. I feel.. Afraid. He pushes my groceries to the ground and moves closer to me.

"Gale, don't. Let me go. I'm still married to him... I'm just taking a break," I say, trying to keep my voice from wavering.

An almost sinister grin comes across his face. He grabs my wrist and pushes it against the cold brick wall. I look away from him and try to push him away. Despite me trying to be strong, a whimper of fear escapes my lips.

"You don't even know how long I've waited for you. Even if you are tainted. Don't fight it. I want to enjoy this," He says, breathily in my ear.

I feel myself shiver and goosebumps on my body. I can't let this happen. Not to me. Not now. Not ever. I think. I try to move my feet to kick or push him away. All my attempts are futile. He is much taller and stronger than me. He pins me with his hips against the brick.

"Gale, why are you doing this, let me go!" I say raising my voice.

He quiets me when his mouth slams into mine. I gasp in surprise and try harder to get him away. It doesn't feel the same way as Peeta. It makes me wish... No, not yet.

"Get away from me!" I scream as he pulls away.

I try harder to get him away. Punching, shoving, kicking.

"No one will care. This is the Slag Heap. Now, I'll have you," He says.

Gale pins harder. I feel his hands caress me. His hand rests on my stomach and his other hand closes around my throat. I close my eyes and just wait for it to be over. I accept the fate that is being presented to me.

"Gale.. please.. Stop this. This isn't you, let me go!" I cry out decrepitly.

"Not now, not ever. You'll be mine forever," He whispers in my ear.

I try to get his hand off my neck but it grows tighter. So tight, eventually I let myself fade to whatever comes next.

~

"Hey, hey you. Get up. You're out past curfew,"

I open my eyes and bright light and a kick gets me going. I groan and move my head off the cold ground. A Peacekeeper shines his light at me. I look at my surroundings and everything comes to light again.

"Don't let it happen again. Get goin. Before Cray comes out to get ya, Slag Heap Trash," He spits.

He takes his light off me and starts to walk away. I try to get up, but am rocked with pain. My hands fists up and the tears fall. I feel more anger than I've ever felt. The soft flutters from my children makes things a bit better but not by much. I grab my belongings and leave this God awful place.

I stood up and pulled the zipper up on my jeans, thoroughly disgusted with both Gale and myself. I sighed and tried to ignore the uneasy pain in my stomach as I waddled home, Gale had been so rough I throbbed. I held the tears in as I neared my house, I had no idea where Peeta was staying but hopefully he hadn't seen me, I felt so dirty, so guilty, like I betrayed him.

"Katniss!" My Mother called. I tried to walk normally and sped up to get inside. "Oh honey, where were you? I was so worried! Your father is out searching for you," She told me. I felt a tear slip down my cheek. She hugged me tightly.

"What time is it?" I asked her, how long had I been passed out.

"Almost midnight, Kat. Where were you?" She asked, I needed to tell her so she could check in the babies the odd throbbing in my stomach growing steadily.

"I-I was by the Slag heap. G-g-gale h-he hurt-t me. He p-p-pushed me against t-t-the alley and h-h-he did, he did- he did it to me a-and n-n-now my st-st-stomach hurts a-a-a lot." I stuttered, spitting the words out.

"Oh honey, come here let me check you out," My Mother said. I laid down on the table, my head resting on some neatly folded rags. My Mom pushed my shirt up. She gasped seeing the purple finger shaped bruises on my hips and the red marks that went down below my pants line. I started crying at the sight. When did I become so weak? How did I let any of this happen to myself? Why did I ever trust Gale? How could he do this to me? How hurt I'll Peeta be?

"Katniss, I'm going to listen for the heartbeats to make sure they're okay," My Mom said. I nodded, I heard stomping at the door, my Dad had come home. He walked in and saw my tear stained cheeks and my bruised abdomen, he stared at my Mom doing her work.

"Oh Kat, what happened?" He asked. I took a deep breath, I couldn't tell him I could not utter those words to my own Father I just couldn't.

"Mama, tell him." I whispered. She sighed and pulled out the ear pieces to her stethoscope. She went up to my Father and whispered into his ear. His face showed so much anger it hurt me knowing I made him that upset.

"Oh Katniss, I'm going to talk sense into that boy," He said, I shook my head quickly.

"No, Daddy, don't," I said. "I need you to stay with me," I said. My Mom started her work again and my Dad wrapped his arms around me. My Mother moved the cool circle over my stomach, she frowned slightly.

"Katniss" she whispered. "I can only hear one heartbeat." It felt as if someone had thrown a million bricks at me.

"Daddy," I whimpered. "Go find Peeta and bring him to me," I cried as my Mother desperately searched my stomach. "He's at Abernathy's. Daddy, please?" I begged him. He quickly rushed back out the door and my Mom pushed my hair back and tried calming me down.

"Katniss, honey, it's okay. The baby I probably just higher up then I'm looking- or lower down," She said nervously. I tried to calm down, she pushed my shirt up to the bottom of my bra, she listened desperately, I took a deep breath, she kept listening.

No, no no no, I can't lose another one of my babies before I even meet them. I can't lose either of my girls.

I felt the tears slip down my face as my Mother moved her stethoscope around. I am not sure how long I laid there but eventually I heard stomping by the door.

"Peeta?" I called desperately. He rushed in and held me close. I started crying harder.

"Katniss, I'm sorry-" my Mom started but I frowned at her.

"No. Mama, you will find my other baby girl's heartbeat and you will tell me that both my little girls are healthy." I said, my voice dripping in authority although I had none.

My Mom gently pushed my bottoms lower. I was afraid to look or even think of the outcome. My stomach rolls in pain and I have to keep myself from curling up in pain. I grasp onto Peeta's hand for dear life and hold it close to my face.

"What the hell happened to her? What is wrong? Where was she? Where were you, Katniss? Who did this?" Peeta asked, almost frantically.

"Shush, Peeta," Mom told him. "I think...."

"Think, what Mother?" I whimper.

"Ah, there they are. Hiding from your Grandma isn't funny, Sweetheart,"

"So she's there? She isn't lost? She's okay?" I ask, almost not believing my ears.

"Playing hide and seek it seemed. Now come on, let's get you taken care of," She says.

"Katniss, what happened? Tell me, please? Who or what hurt you?" Peeta begs to know.

I look away from him. Now that he is here, I realize I'm still not ready. I can't. And especially not now. How could he love me? Now after everything has happened?

Mother helps me gently from off the table. I wince in pain when my feet hit the ground. I practically limp with her. I cry out when my stomach rolls. I fall to my knees and hold myself.

"Katniss!"

"It's fine.." I say through gritted teeth. "I'm fine,"

I get up on my own and go to my room. Shutting everyone out. I sink to my knees and rest my head on the door with my eyes closed. I hear my bed creak and I open my eyes. Lupus comes over to me and sits beside me. He whines and lays his head in my lap. Looking up at me with his blue eyes.

"It's fine boy," I say and gently pet him. "I'm fine,"

I feel his wet nose press into my shift. He sniffs it and I pull it up for him. He whines more when he sees the bruises. He tries to lick them away.

"They're okay, Lup. I promise..." I say softly.

I start to hear yelling in the other rooms.

They must have told him... I think.

The door opens and slams. Lupus goes to my window and jumps up on the seil. I carefully get up and go to the window. Peeta is walking towards the other part of the Seam. I know this will be bad. I groan and grip my night table the other hand holding my stomach as another wave of pain comes. I sit down on my bed and Lupus places his head on my lap.

I can't lie to myself that I'm fine. I know what happened to me. I just.. Don't want to believe it. I shed myself of my clothing and throw them across the room. I'll burn those later. I think. I get up and go to the bathroom. I turn the water to the hottest it can go. When it's to burning, i get into it. I scrub my skin raw. My skin bleeds and burns with the water. I feel the emotions rising and i hate it. My tears fall onto my ruined skin and my heart beats faster. I let out a scream. A scream of anger, disgust, hatred, pain, fear, regret, heartbreak... I don't even bother drying myself off. My skin tickles when I step out of the warm and into the cold of my room. The mirror catches my eye and i stop. I take a deep breath and look at myself. Bruises an ugly blue and yellow line my neck and abdomen. My wet hair hangs ragged. The safe place where my children lay is growing by the day. You can tell now without even having to look hard. My bullet wound on my shoulder leaves my skin pink and off looking. I shake the image of what I've become and go to my bed. I climb in and pull the covers over my naked body. Lupus climbs up with me and curls into my body. I hold him as he is my lifeline. The pain and silent tears put me to sleep.

~

The sun can't come too soon. I pull the blankets up to shield myself from the light. I feel Lupus get up and move on the bed. His low growl makes me lift my blankets up. He's standing on my bed growling at the door. The light on the other side shines then turns off. My door creaks and I bury myself in the blankets. Lupus lets out a yip when they enter. I know by the footsteps who treads into my room. Lupus lays back down and nuzzles into me. I hear a soft clink on my night table. My hair is moved and I feel gentle lips on my head. I curl deeper into my blankets and pillows. I feel the tears escape my eyes as the door closes again. The heavy footsteps of my husband receding. I let the tears and the pain put me to rest, once more.

~

I try to go out for once after another hot shower and scrubbing the filth that will never leave me. I don't hear anything. I tread the stairs and look around. My mother and father are nowhere to be seen. I can smell something from the kitchen. I stand in the doorway and watch him. I can see that he's tense. I want to talk to him. I really do, I just. Lupus looks up at me and whimpers. I shake my head and stay where I am. He works fast and gets things done. I see him make a salad. He is closing and slamming doors. I can't help but jump.

"Katniss! Dinner's re-" Peeta calls, he stops when he sees me hovering in the doorway.

He clears his throat as he scoops a heaping ladle of stew into their bowls. taking a moment to steel my nerves before joining him at the table. Placing a bowl down in front of me, I noticed the way he fidgets with the corner of the placemat. I'm apparently not the only one on edge. I don't look up when he slides onto the chair across from me. With a heavy sigh, I pick up my spoon and dips it into my stew, focusing too hard on capturing an acceptable ratio of meat and vegetable.

Neither one of us speaks, both seemingly occupied with their food. The silence is anything but comfortable, and every scrap of his fork against his plate grates at her nerves.

"How was your day?" He finally asks as he piles another scoop of salad onto his plate. A stray piece of lettuce tumbles to the side, coating the back of his thumb in dressing.

"Ok," After setting the salad tongs to the side, he brings his hand up to his mouth to lick away the dressing.

"How was yours?" I ask, glancing up with a pointed look that takes his off guard. He fumbles with his spoon, almost dropping it into his stew as he quickly diverts his eyes.

"Fine," He answers.

I feel the tension growing. I know he has heard something.. I just.. Don't know what. My hold on my spoon stiffens and my knuckles begin to turn white. Regret washes over me then and I closes my eyes, frowning. I should have done something.

Peeta glances between me and my barely touched food. "Everything alright?"

"Not hungry," I snapped, rising to my feet and shuffling over to the sink to dump my bowl. From the corner of my eye I catch the sight of his jaw clenching, as though he's fighting the urge to snap back, but of course he doesn't. He remains tight-lipped, dropping his attention back to the table. "I'm going to take a shower," I tossed over my shoulder without looking at him.

Even though I am beyond clean and beyond broken, I stay in the shower. My skin gets wrinkled and shines angry red from scrubbing. I feel he is mad at me. And I am mad at him for no reason. I leave when I start to feel numb. I dry off and put a towel around me. I grabbed an old shirt of Peeta's and put it on.

The approaching footsteps from down the hall cause me to turn abruptly and a few seconds later I find Peeta hovering in the doorway, the line between his brows indicative of genuine concern. "What is it?" he asks, unable to hide the tremor in his voice. "Is something wrong? Are you okay?"

My arms drop to my sides and I step back from my closet. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" The prickliness of my voice causes the worry to fall from his face.

Folding his arms over his chest, he leans against the doorframe. "Oh I don't know, might have something to do with how you shrugged me off before dinner. Or when you stalked off from the table without touching your food. Something's bothering you. It's written all over your face,"

The disappointment in his voice grates on my already raw nerves and I know there's no more avoiding it. From the determined look in his eyes, he's ready to settle this, and so am I.

Placing a hand on my hip, I meet his gaze head on. "Alright then, mind telling me about what happened last night? Why are you even here? I said I need time,"

"I went and had a talk with Gale. Settled some things out with him. Why didn't you tell me?" He asks.

"I didn't tell you since I'm scared, okay? How do I tell my husband I was taken by another guy? What would you do?"

"Tell my husband or wife about it and tell someone with authority about it! Not just hide away and act like nothing happened when you are in pain!"

Hush falls between both of us. I feel regret talking to him, but a part of my heart wants to.

"I'm sorry.." I say.

"You know, if you'd just told me, we could have avoided all of...this," he says, waving between the two of them. "So, is the interrogation over with now?" I nod my head sheepishly.

Rising to his feet, he reaches down to grab my wet towel off the floor and flings it over the door. "Good, now listen to me. This distance you've put between us—it's got to stop. Pushing me away is doing neither of us any good, and the way you deny me every time I get close enough to touch you, well, I'm starting to think you really meant what you said," He runs a hand through his hair and frowns. "We both know what this is really about. You have to stop blaming yourself and thinking that I'm going to just up and leave—"

"But how could you love me?! I'm ruined!" I interrupt, no longer able to keep my feelings bottled up inside. "The thought of disappointing you..." I pauses to take a gulp of air, fighting back the slew of emotions tugging me every which way. "I can't stand it, and knowing I already have..."

"Katniss, no—"

"And after all you've been through, you deserve what you want most, Peeta. Knowing that I can't give you that, well...then I've failed you. I know you'll eventually blame me and grow to resent me. Maybe not now, but one day you will,"

"Katniss—"

"And the feeling of you having to settle for half a life with just me, I can't bear it. Knowing you'll always look at me and wish for things that could never be. I'm broken, and you deserve better. You deserve someone who can give you the life you've always wanted and—"

"Dammit, Katniss, will you just stop!" He stands from the bed, the force of his words and sheer size of his body causing me to stumble backwards. It's his clenched fists and rigid stance, along with the intense glazed look in his blue eyes that normally twinkle with humor that tips me off. I'm about to reach for him and wrap my arms around his trembling body, but then he shakes his head and his eyes shut as he inhales a calming breath. "You're right. Things did happen,"

My face falls; This is it. The moment I've been dreading. But then his features soften and when he opens his eyes, he takes a tentative step towards me.

"But I couldn't care what happens to us," he whispers, bringing a hand up to stroke my cheek. "Gale will get what he deserves for hurting you. And if time is still a problem for us, then that's the way it is. But a life without you? Now that's a deal breaker,"

"I'm just afraid that..." I pull my bottom lip between my teeth, unable to voice my true fear.

"Afraid of what?"

"Knowing that I lied to you and pushed you away when all you wanted to do was comfort me, and then today with not trusting you and thinking the worst," I pauses, my eyes shutting as I fight back a sob. "Peeta, do you still love me?"

"What?" The look of utter confusion crosses his face and his brow furrows. "Katniss, of course I love you. I'm still here, aren't I?"

"But—but how can you?"

"Look, I don't agree with how you handled things, and yeah, I wish you'd have told me straight from the start so I could have helped. I felt useless, having to watch you suffer alone, but if I'm being honest, I understand why you did it,"

"You do?"

"Yeah, you were scared and you needed time. Time to sort things out for yourself first, so I can't fault you for that. I just want you to remember that we're in this together. We're a team, you and me," Tears threaten to spill from the corner of my eye, so I drop my gaze to my feet, curling my toes into the plush carpet. He inches forward a bit more and places a knuckle beneath my chin, gently tilting me head up to look at him. "I don't want to fight with you, and I want you to stop blaming yourself for something completely out of your control, alright? Just tell me what to do to make things better, what I have to say to make you understand. Tell me what you need...what you want?"

"I want things back the way they used to be. I want you to feel the way you did about me, before all of this,"

"But I do. This hasn't changed anything. Don't you remember what I promised?" He reaches up to swipe a few damp strands of hair off my face. "To love you with all I have, no matter what. Don't you remember?"

"Remind me," I whispers, blinking away tears. Even though he's standing right there, less than a foot away, I miss him like crazy.

Taking a moment to study me, he takes a step back, his eyes drifting away from my face and down my body to take in his shirt that dangles just above my knees. I cross my ankles, suddenly nervous under his stare, and wonders what it is he sees when he looks at me. Flaws and all.

I crossed my arms over my chest, unable to look him in the eye. When he steps towards me again, his bare feet almost touch mine. I sucks in a breath, my skin tingling with heat and anticipation. Reaching down, he takes my left hand in his and brings it out. He places my diamond ring back on, then brings my hand to his face. His thumb brushes over the gold band that adorns my ring finger before his lips follow, my sharp inhale from his lips on her skin causing his eyes to dart back up to mine. Just that little touch brings me back to life, awakening the muscles in my belly and causing my knees to go weak. It's just a taste of what I've been missing and I want more. I need more.

As if reading the longing in my eyes, he takes hold of my other hand and brings them together to link around his neck. Our inhales and exhales mingle in the space between them and before I can ask—no, beg—for just a little taste of him, he wets his lips. Timidly, his mouth hovers over mine, and with just a brush of his lips, a needy moan tumbles from my throat. I swear the corner of his mouth lifts into a crooked smile but before I can think twice about it, he presses his lips fully to mine.

He takes his time—a painstakingly long amount of time—reacquainting our mouths, fusing together slowly and then frantically, gently and then rough. I can't remember the last time I've been so thoroughly kissed, and when he parts my lips and his tongue sweeps in to meet mine, I never want to forget again. When he gradually pulls back, a small whine escapes my lips.

"Remember now?" he asks, brushing his thumbs across my cheeks as he continues to press light kisses to every inch of my face.

I can't help but smile. "I'm starting to,"

With a heart-stopping grin, he starts to walk me backwards, dipping his head down to nip along the side of my neck. The moment my body gently thumps against the wall, his hands are everywhere, exploring the curve of my backside, the slope of my hips, and the swells of my chest. The swell of my womb.

His hips thrusts forward, pinning me to the wall so that the bulge in his pants catches between my legs. "Do you feel that?" he asks, his voice suddenly low and rough, sending a chill down my spine. An approving moan is all I can manage as I clutches the front of his shirt between my fingers. Peeta pulls back a bit, his nose no more than an inch from mine. "I said, do you feel that?" he repeats, punctuating his question with another firm jut of his hips.

"Yes," I groaned with a shudder.

"That's what you do to me," When he leans in, my next breath catches in my throat, eager to taste his mouth again. But he ducks his head to the left at the last second to graze his lips against the column of my neck. "You, Katniss," he says against my skin before working his way back up my ear. "Only you...my wife," I shudder at his words, which prompts an embarrassingly desperate moan to rise from the back of my throat. When he pulls back again, forcing my gaze to his serious face, he stares at me for a whole minute as he cradles my chin in his palm. "Understand?"

I nod but when he tugs at my bottom lip with his thumb, I've finally had enough. I missed him for far too long. I need this—needs him—so badly that my body physically aches. I need more than just his words and his mouth on my own. I need him inside me.

He drops a hand to the hem of my shirt—his shirt—and I whimper just a little when his fingertips tickle my bare skin. My body moves on its own accord as my arms lift, eager for him to strip me of the garment. But to my growing frustration, he pauses for a moment, fingers fiddling with the fabric.

My voice is hoarse when I break the silence. "What's the matter?"

Regarding me thoughtfully, his eyes narrow curiously before he shakes his head. "Nothing's the matter. I was just remembering the first time I saw you in this shirt," His other hand drops to my side, and then both are sliding up my torso, taking with them the shirt as his thumbs brush over the sides of my breasts along the way. After carefully easing the fabric over my head, he tosses the garment to the floor and steps back, exhaling a steady breath as his gaze sweeps down my petite frame. I gnaw at my lip as she fights the urge to cover herself, and when our eyes finally meet again, he whispers reverently, "You're so beautiful,"

It's only natural to dismiss his appraisal with a wave of her hand, but the way his eyes bore into mine, speaking volumes with the way he drinks me in, I don't dare. My throat suddenly dried, I swallowed thickly.

"I've missed this," he says as he sinks to his knees, tugging his lip between his teeth. My throat is still dry despite the wetness gathering between my legs, and when he inched his way forward, his face hovering in front of my crotch, my legs began to give out from under me. Thankfully, his hands are there to steady me. "You ready for me?" he asks, to which I respond with a frantic nod of my head.

Pressing my back against the wall, he lifts my leg over his shoulder, followed by the other until my full weight is balanced on him. I reach out blindly in search of something to steady me, and when my hand comes in contact with the smooth surface of the dresser, I grip onto the hard surface for dear life. When his hands shift to better his hold on me, he squeezes the soft flesh of my backside before settling them on my thighs. The warmth of his breath zeroed in on my center sends a pulse of anticipation through me, and when he glances up, the visual of his face between my legs is almost too much.

I'm caught off guard by the depth of desire I find staring back up at me, his pupils dilated with only a sliver of blue surrounding them. He wants this. Want to devour me. Probably as much or even more than I wanted him to. Reaching down with my free hand, I run my thumb along the slick curve of his lip, and when he catches the digit between his teeth and swipes his tongue over it, I almost fall apart right then and there.

"Please," I whispers, urgently pressing my heels into his back.

The next words from my mouth are incomprehensible and I almost forget to breathe when he runs his tongue first up one side of my slit, and then down the other, before parting my folds and licking all the way up to my aching center. He does it again, and again, and again, the maddening tension and wetness building with each pass. When his lips finally lock around my clit, my strangled cry fills the room as his tongue flicks over it, sending a rush of heat right down to my toes. He's unrelenting, making a point to tease me as he takes his time licking and sucking and hitting the steady rhythm he knows will have me grasping at his hair and pulling him in closer to ride his face.

His hold around one of my thighs loosens and a hand is suddenly at my breast, the unexpected sensation of his calloused thumb against my skin almost distracting as his incessant mouth latches on to my clit again. Every stroke of his tongue makes me come alive, makes me forget why in the world I was avoiding him and denying myself this. It's just like I remember—no, better. A hundred times better.

Heart racing and panting, my eyes screw shut, unable to focus as the sensation overload causes my body to short circuit. But the moment he thrusts inside me with his tongue, my body clenches around him, stoking the fire that's been growing deep inside me. The flames spread quickly, heat surging through my chest and into my arms and legs, radiating out into my fingers and toes. And then I'm there, right on the edge, just waiting for a push to send me tumbling over the edge.

That final push happens when he withdraws his tongue and sucks my clit into his mouth; the vibrations from his moan causing my thighs to tense and lock around his head. Wave after wave of pleasure ripples through me as my fingers fist into his hair and my back bows off the wall. Tipping my head back, I release a soft groan as my body trembles from the aftershocks. He continues to lap gently at my folds, steering clear of the area he knows I find overly sensitive afterwards. With a contented sigh, my boneless body relaxes back against the wall, but before I can sink to the floor, he eases my legs off his shoulders, one at a time until I back on my feet and leaning against the wall for support.

With a satiated grin, I watch as he wipes his mouth with his shirt then I helps to his feet. He cradles my head with his hand and smiles before leaning in closer to press our foreheads together. With swollen lips, flushed cheeks, and damp curls stuck to his temples—I never found him more attractive. He leans into me when I capture his mouth in a lazy kiss, but then something hard brushes against my stomach when he circles his hips and I pull away with a smirk.

Reaching down, I trace the tip of his erection and drops my gaze to watch as it twitches beneath the confines of his pants. His hips still as I make quick work of what clothing he has left, and when he's finally standing completely naked before me, I can't help but sigh as I take him in. His gorgeous, sun-kissed skin pulled tight over a solid frame. I was tempted to sit and stare, the way he did with me, but the gentle nudge of his cock against my arm says otherwise. I swipes my fingers though the arousal still clinging to my folds and proceeds to wrap a hand around the base of his shaft, drawing out a guttural moan as I stroke him. The sound goes straight to my core, heat blooming across my chest and down deep into my belly. I want to hear more. Lifting up onto my toes, I press my body against his and places a kiss to his jaw.

Sliding my palms up his chest, I push him away, but when his mouth opens I press a finger to his lips to silence his protests. I guide him backwards but before he can collide with the edge of the dresser, I twist our bodies around and hoist myself up onto the solid surface. With a coy smile, I spread my legs, inviting him to settle between them. When he does, he carefully runs his fingers through my wet tresses.

"I love when it's wet like this," he murmurs, holding my gaze for a moment before pulling me in for a kiss, his warm lips melding to mine. It's sweet, less hurried and frantic than the ones from before.

He draws back with a start when my hand finds his cock again, and wrenches a moan from the back of his throat as I drag the tip through my folds. "And when I'm wet like this?"

His lips quirk into a sexy grin. "Do I really need to answer that?"

Grabbing my leg just under the knee, he hooks it over his arm as his other hand snakes around my back, his fingers digging into the flesh just about my ass. My other heel finds purchase against the edge of the dresser as I pull him to me, capturing his lips in a hasty kiss before he lifts my hips to bring my body closer to him. He buries his face into the crook of my neck, his teeth grazing against my skin before planting a row of open-mouthed kisses along my collarbone. Once again, he's stoking the flames, my body eager and waiting to catch fire. I pressed my chest to his, dropping my head back as he worked his hungry mouth down the column of my neck, grazing his tongue along my skin and tasting a salty bead of sweat threatening to fall between my breasts.

Dipping even lower, he takes a nipple between his teeth and pulls away slowly, stretching it out until the pleasure outweighs the pain. I struggle for breath, trying to control my racing heart, but I am already so turned on I can feel my arousal trickling down my thighs. Unable to form words, I grab onto his shoulders for support, my nails digging into his skin in a desperate attempt to make him understand how badly I need him inside me. Understanding my silent plea, he takes hold of his cock and pumps it twice before aligning the tip at my entrance. I can scarcely breathe as I wait, trying but mostly failing to keep calm when his tongue darts out to wet his lips.

"I love you," he says in a breathy exhale. With eyes riveted to mine, he finally slides into me with a slow and measured thrust, allowing me to feel every last inch as I stretch around him. When our bodies meet, he pauses. "Fuck," he hisses, his hot breath fanning over my face. I smile to myself from the reverence in his voice, and then leans in to place a kiss to the corner of his mouth. Drawing in a quick breath, I swivel my hips against his, a silent plea for him to move.

With a quick press of his lips to my forehead, he starts to move. My eyes fall shut, relishing the feel of him each time he fills me. It's everything I've been longing for all at once, the sensation of reclaiming his body once again causing me to grip the curls at the nape of his neck in desperation.

I yelps in surprise when he lifts my leg up higher, the new angle allowing each thrust to hit that sweet spot deep inside. God, I can feel every last inch of him, filling me completely. From the slight tremble of his body, I can tell he's fighting the same mental battle I is: go slow and savor the feeling, or let loose months' worth of sexual frustration and let pure animalistic need dictate the pace. The latter eventually wins out as his steady rhythm picks up and he pounds into me at a punishing pace, pouring all he has into me.

Forcing my eyes open, I caught a glimpse of his face. His eyes are shut, lips slightly parted, and forehead dotted with sweat. His cheeks are flushed and his hair is damp, and he's just so goddamn beautiful it pains me to look away when my head lolls back from the force of his thrusts. I climbed again, closer and closer to sweet release, and I was just on the verge when I felt his thumb searching between them. With just a few quick strokes, my clit pulsates, sending my walls aflutter as I arches into him.

With a strangled gasp, I collapse against his chest, my greedy lungs burning as I sucks in air. I barely aware when he comes a few moments later, jutting his hips forward and sheathing himself completely as he spills into me. His body eventually stills, lowering my leg slowly and bringing my other one up to wrap them around his waist. I weightless when he scoops me up and deposits my sated body gently onto the bed. Barely able to keep my eyes open, I sigh blissfully as I sinks into the mattress, fully intent on wrapping myself up in the sheets and Peeta's embrace. So when he regretfully pulls away, the absence of his warmth causes my brow to furrow as I reach out to grab his hand.

"Stay," I whispered.

"Don't worry," he says, tracing my lips with his finger. He chuckles quietly when my lips part and I sucks the digit into my mouth, gripping it playfully between my teeth as if to hold him there. "I'm just going to clean you up. After that, I'm not going anywhere,"

It's way too early the next morning when the alarm rudely awakens me from a pleasant dream. I'm too warm and too comfortable to move, so I nudge my hips backwards until an arm finally swings over my head to silence the offending device.

With a content sigh, I nuzzle back down into my pillow, but when Peeta doesn't move, I reaches back and pats his thigh.

"Don't you have to be doing something?" I tease, a lazy smile stretching across my face before I flip onto my other side.

The mattress dips as he turns, his eyes locking with mine for a brief moment before flickering down to the sheet draped provocatively over my chest. The corner of his mouth lifts into a sexy grin. "Probably, but like I said last night, I'm not going anywhere."

With the tip of his nose, he traces the exposed skin of my neck before his lips follow suit, pausing at my ear to graze my earlobe with the tip of his tongue. It tickles and I keens into him, my eyes falling shut as I release a breath laugh. He leans in, his warm breath against my cheek. "I love you," he whispers, and then places a gentle kiss to my forehead.

My eyes flutter open to regard his face, and then he gives me a boyish grin that's genuinely sweet and with just the right touch of shyness that unexpected warmth rushes through my naked body.

"I love you, too," I whispers.

He beams back at me, his eyes bright and playful as his fingers trace down my side, pulling with them the sheet to reveal the curves of my naked body. "Remind me,"