KATNISS

Everything seemed to freeze for a moment as I saw the person standing in the doorway. Peeta's mother. This can't be good. I thought.

"Peeta." I said, saying his name, thinking it might be a source of comfort.

"Peeta." His mother said back, glaring at her son, a fierce anger in her beady eyes.

Peeta pulled me to his chest, protectively wrapping his arms around me. I leaned into him. I'll admit it, I was scared.

This woman could only mean bad news. She could take the Bakery away from us with the snap of her fingers, and then where would that leave us?

"Mother...what can I do for you?" Peeta said through gritted teeth, anger and disbelief in his eyes. I think he was shocked to see his mother so suddenly. Yet, he still attempted to be polite as it was just in his friendly nature.

"I need to talk to you, boy." She sneered, a scowl lining her face.

"Well, come in then I guess." He said slowly, moving out of the way, still clutching me in his arms. As much as I was thankful for his warm embrace, I think he was holding on to me for support too.

"Don't be using that attitude with me. This is my house. I can kick you and your mystery wife out whenever I like." His mother growled, putting my fears out in the open. But surely she wouldn't actually kick us out right? Peeta was her son after all. She had to have some humanity in there, beneath all of the glares and snarky comments.

"What do you want to talk about?" He said, and I could sense the urgency behind his words. He probably just wanted her to leave as soon as possible, and was trying to hurry the conversation so she would.

"Your wife." She said.

My heart sped up as she uttered those words. She, like most people, would not approve of the age gap, but she couldn't do anything about it. Right?

"What about her?" Peeta questioned, tightening his grip on me. "What business of yours is she?" He asked defensively.

"I want to know who she is, it is my business because you are my son and I have a right to know who you are married to." She said, as if it was obvious. Yes of course. Because she totally cared about us as she was just such a loving mother to Peeta.

"My wife, she is right here and it is her right to decide whether or not she'd like to introduce herself to you." Peeta said, allowing me to speak. I was grateful that he was letting me in on the conversation. I didn't want to be seen as just something to be protected. I wanted to have my say in things. Especially this.

"Hi, I'm Katniss Mellark. It's nice to meet you." I lied, with a big fake smile on my face. Like I had wanted to meet her. I almost rolled my eyes at the thought, but I needed to make a good first impression. I could practically feel Peeta swell with joy when I said Mellark instead of Everdeen. I wanted him to know that I loved him, and there was no changing that. I wanted him to know that he was mine and I was his. No matter what everyone else said.

"Katniss? Are you that Everdeen girl that used my Bakery as a way to seduce boys? My son included!?" She cried. God stupid rumors back at it again.

I kept my voice calm as I said, "Mrs. Mellark, that is just a rumor. I worked at the Bakery to earn money and food for my family. Your son and I, well let's let him explain our situation."

I could tell Peeta didn't want to, but he continued. "Mother, she came to work here and I fell in love with her. She fell in love with me too. It was as simple as that." He stated with a shrug. We both knew it was more complicated, but decided to stick to the basic details.

"As simple as that? Boy she is sixteen damn years ol-" She started, but a knock on the door interrupted what I could tell was going to be an intense lecture.

"I'll go get that." I said, thankful for a reason to leave this mess of a conversation.

I heard Peeta and his mother start arguing again, but I was too far away to hear them. I heard their voices stop, and Peeta walked over to the door with me to see who it was.

I opened the door. Two people stood there, both familiar faces. My heart sped up, and I felt my lungs tighten. I couldn't breathe, and I looked to Peeta, seeing worry in his eyes that he tried to mask and be strong for me.

My mother and Madge were standing in the doorway now. I hadn't seen her since I had left, and that felt like it was a million years ago. I had been shocked when I saw Peeta's mother, and now here was my own, standing in the doorway with my best friend next to her.

"Madge, Mrs. Everdeen," Peeta said politely. "Come on in." He said, putting his arm around my shoulder as Madge strode in, and my mother timidly followed.

"Mrs. Mellark." Madge said, as Peeta's mother's cold eyes passed over her before landing on my mother.

Suddenly, the room erupted into noise and chaos.

"PEETA MELLARK! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO MARRY A GIRL WITHOUT TELLING ME? WHY WOULD YOU INVITE A GIRL INTO OUR HOUSE AND SOMETHING AS DISGUSTING AS SEDUCE THE POOR TEENAGE GIRL INTO BEING YOUR WIFE? WHO DOES HER AGE NOT BOTHER YOU?!" Mrs. Mellark screamed, her voice piercing the room. I looked to my mother, who looked confused, and Madge just had a painful look on her face, as if she wanted to be anywhere but here right now, and I didn't blame her.

My mother looked at me, her eyes full of confusion. "Katniss, what is she talking about?" She questioned.

"Mom I-" I started to tell her what had happened, but was cut off by Mrs. Mellark.

"No! Don't listen to her nonsense, Everdeen! My husband raised my son horridly and he has rubbed off on your daughter! She speaks nonsense." She said.

"Excuse me? Ma'am, your son didn-" I started, but was interrupted again, but this time by Peeta.

"Mother, I think you need to leave." He said coldly.

"Peeta, no I have things to say to-" I said, trying to get my point across, but was once again interrupted by my mother. Nobody was even letting me talk! And it was my freaking life we were discussing here!

"Peeta? Katniss, you and him, wait what? Tell me right now what is going on!" My mother exclaimed, annoyed that she didn't know what was happening.

I was getting frustrated, and nobody was letting me speak. I looked around the room seeing the tense looks on everyone's faces. Madge looked like she had no idea what to do. She stood there, like a deer in the headlights. A stressed deer. And then she did maybe the dumbest possible thing that she could have done in that particular moment.

"Katniss, I have the pregnancy tests." She blurted out, and it took a moment for what she said to register in everyones brains, the shock then showing clear on their faces. Under different circumstances, I might've laughed at their expressions, but not then.

"WHAT!?" Mrs. Mellark and my mother yelled at the same time.

I couldn't take it anymore. I raced up the stairs, tears in my eyes. I slammed my door, locking it too. I was not going to let anyone in. I sunk into my bed, sobs escaping me. I knew that my mother would hate me now. If she didn't already, now she definitely would.

"WHO IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? YOU JUST STEAL MY DAUGHTER FROM ME AND LIE TO ME ABOUT WHAT'S GOING ON AT THE BAKERY!! YOU CAN'T DO THIS! YOU HAVE NO PERMISSION TO MARRY MY DAUGHTER, she will be leaving with me, she has a true husband waiting at home." I heard my mother yell furiously. I started sobbing uncontrollably again, cursing my life, and how everything was falling apart. I heard a light set of footsteps come up the stairs.

"Go away." I said, but stood up when I heard a soft whine at the door. It was Lupus.

I opened the door, allowing him to come in. "Hey buddy." I said, scratching behind his ears how he liked it. Lupus always seemed to make things better somehow.

"Hey do you remember how I found you?" I asked, and he tilted his head, as if he was listening, a little doggy grin appearing on his face. "You were out on the street, and I ran into you...to think that I wasn't actually going to keep you." I said, staring into space, letting the memory capture my thoughts, making reality fade away as I thought back to the days when everything was more simple.

I sighed, laying back on the bed.

Why did anyone even care about the stupid age gap between us? I mean, we loved each other, so what was the big deal? And if they didn't like it, then couldn't they just ignore it? These people didn't have to put themselves into our lives just to say that we were doing things wrong. Well if we are, then what is right? Marrying someone because it's the easy thing to do? Even if you don't love them? How could that be the right way of things? I groaned, all of these thoughts making my head spin. I heard more screaming downstairs but I cowardly hid myself within the covers. I sat there and thought of the many possibilities for my future, I could live on a street alone, Peeta having taken my kid and deemed me an inappropriate mother, No, I chide myself, Peeta wouldn't do that, I know him better than that, don't I? Don't I? The words swam in my thoughts, I hated that I was losing the feeling of myself, I was losing everything that once was solid and firm. All this uncertainty from my being young and reckless, I got myself pregnant, This stupid kid should have waited I dont want them yet,I thought angrily, I didn't even register the severity of my words the only thoughts I understood were hatred towards the child within me, the stupid kid that wanted me as a mom. I was drowning in my thoughts, unaware of my actions. I sat there seething in anger and hatred towards the life inside me.

"Katniss?" I heard Madge say softly at the door. I quickly got up and swung the door open.

"You bitch! You- You- Madge you bitch, do you even know what you did?!" I told her, I was angry but I felt the tears running down my face. Madge looked at me fiercely, she pushed her way into the room and pulled me out of the way to close the door.

"Katniss, you're so hormonal you hardly need these tests." She spit out making me angrier.

"Madge! How does that help your situation at all? Give them to me and hurry up." I told her ready to get this over with. She tossed the package, it was pink and white, I read the instructions and sighed, I went to the bathroom. When I came out, I slammed them down on the nightstand.

"Watch those," I growled, I was in such a foul mood anything will set me off. Madge watched the tests on the stand, I sat there on the bed and let the tears fall. I am not sure why I'm crying. I just am, I heard more yelling and I tried to not focus on the words being said. I watched the clock, after I assumed the right amount of time passed, the sticks beeped, one before the other.I buried my face in my knees.

"Um, Katniss..?" I heard her whisper.

I glanced at them, and I couldn't help myself. I screamed. I screamed my heart out. I pressed a pillow to my face to muffle my screaming. When I stopped I took a deep breath, my ragged breathing reminding me of when I let this happen to myself. I looked at my stomach where the child lays, I can't help but wish it wasn't there. I wished it wasn't there. I wish I never fell in love. None of this would be a problem if I only felt for Gale what he feels for me.

I think I fell asleep, I'm not sure I laid there staring at the ceiling, it seemed like no time at all before there was a knock on the door. I heard Madge speaking quietly, and then I heard my mom yelling. I stood behind the door and found my voice.

"Mother please, I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?" I asked. I saw Madge walk out and heard the two of them leave the house, Peeta walked into the room. I looked at him, he looked back at me. I tried very hard not to start screaming at him.

"Katniss-" He tried speaking but I quickly put my hand over his mouth effectively stopping him from talking more.

"Peeta, what just happened doesn't change anything, we still need to talk but I don't want to talk right now, I need time," I told him. I was afraid that I'd explode on him and say things I'd regret soon. I was furious with him in the first place. And I was hurt by what he was doing and finding out that I'm pregnant put it in my mind that I was hormonal and couldn't make rational decisions.

"Katniss, we don't have time, we need to figure this out, we need to communicate," Damn you Peeta, I know we need to communicate. I frowned at him, he was making my foul mood sour.

"Peeta, I need time to soak it all in. I need time to figure out how I feel. I'm pregnant. Just a teenager. My hormones are crazy right now. I'm not ready to talk," Please understand me Peeta, I mentlly begged. He wasn't having it.

"That's the thing Katniss! You are a pregnant teenager, we need to talk about it. When will you be ready to talk about it?" How in the world does his logic work? His brain understood what I said as the exact opposite. Oh my God.

"Peeta, you can't be like that. I can't help this, you need to be reasonable. Please be reasonable." I begged him, he sighed.

"You know what, I think I need a break. I don't know when I'll be back. Yeah, I'm being a hypocrite. But I can't deal with this." He told me, turning to leave the room.

"Peeta, you can't do this! You can't leave me! You can't leave us!" I called, he looked back at me and rolled his eyes.

"Don't pull that card, Katniss. I'll be back soon." With these last words laced with irritation he left our house.

I sat there dumbfounded. I glanced around the room. I had no use sitting here. I stood up and went around the room getting myself ready to go somewhere. Woah, I picked up Peeta this morning, how time can be so deceiving. Once I looked decent, I went downstairs for my boots and coat. Lupus whined at me, but I ignored him. I locked the door, then headed out.

I'm not sure where I'm going, just that I'm going. I walk through town, nothing has changed yet it feels so different. I hadn't walked these streets alone I what felt like ages. I was admiring little things that had never catched my eye before, like how there was a small boutique between the grocery market and the laundromat. I noticed that there was an arts store that I had no doubt Peeta had visited before. Eventually I ended up at the Hob. I felt so weird being here, it almost felt I didn't belong, that was until good ol' Greasy Sae growled out my name.

"Katniss! Git' over here girlie" she said. I walked over to her and gave her a hug. She told me how she missed my meat. I explained to her how I was working at the Bakery. Not saying that I was married to the Baker, but that I merely worked there. After I ate some of her deer stew, she let me go and I wandered the Hob. I can across a little stand, a mother was selling her baby items her children had outgrown. I glanced at a onesie, it was a pale orange with a green outline of a tree, it looked very cute and it was tiny too, and it was gender neutral. I picked up the onesie, it was so small, it was hard to imagine a baby would be that small. I looked at the woman.

"How much?" I asked. The woman smiled at me.

"Oh, darling, are you expecting?" She asked kindly. To be less suspicious I made up a teeny lie.

"That is what we are hoping," I said with a small smile.

"Oh, honey, just take it, I don't really need the money anyway." I smiled gratefully at the woman.

"Thank you, ma'am," I said. She smiled at me, I put the onesie in my bag, I could surprise Peeta with it. I know he would just love it. I walked through the hob smiling and waving at familiar faces.

I had just left the Hob when I saw an even more familiar face.

"Hey Catnip." He said. I looked away but he walked towards me slowly.

"Hi Gale." I said.

I could feel the tension growing in the pit of my stomach. The last time I had seen him, I told him to never speak to me. That I never wanted to see him or my mother, or his mother ever again.

He looked me up and down.

"What have you been up to?" He asked, I shrugged indifferently.

"Not much, I was helping run the Bakery while Mr. Mellark was in the Capitol. Did you see him on T.V.? Well, he is back now and he gave me the day off." I said the lie flowing out of me easier than the truth would.

"Oh really. That's good, I suppose. Where have you been staying? Since.. You know?" I looked at him debating whether or not to tell him the truth.

"Gale I-" I started but stopped. I glanced up at him, he stepped close to me. He was so much taller than me than I had remembered. I looked up at him, my chin at his collarbone.

"You know what? All I need is this," he said before pressing his lips to mine. I quickly pushed him off of me.

"Gale! What the hell? You can't just do that!" I yelled at him, furious with him. I felt my anger radiate off me, he seemed to notice because he quickly changed the subject pretending the kiss never happened. I tried to forget the feeling of his lips on mine, the orange and coal dust I smelled on him.

"What did you get in the Hob anyway?" I glanced around.

"I got soup with Sae and some other things." I said. Gale raised an eyebrow and questioned me.

"What other things?" He asked. Stepping closer to me, I backed up getting nervous. What did Gale want?

"Well, since I'm pregnant, I got some baby clothes to surprise Peeta with." I mumble quickly. Gale raised his eyebrows.

"Wait, what?" Gale said.

"I got some stuff to surprise Peeta?" I reworded questioningly.

"And why would you want to surprise Peeta?" Gale continued. I sighed deeply.

"Because he's my husband," I said quickly.

"He's what?" Gale growled, his voice deep and angry.

"Well, Peeta and I love each other so we got married. That is how it works, you know?" I told him, deathly afraid of what he was feeling and how he would go about those feelings.

"Well, Katniss I know how it works but you were supposed to be married to me! In love with me! Why did you go run off with some random guy who is way too old for you? I love you Katniss!" He said, his voice raising with each word he uttered.

"No, you don't. You think you do because you are supposed to. I did not run off with him. I took refuge with him when everyone I thought I knew was either furious or disgusted with me! He was there for me, and I fell in love with him! His age doesn't matter to me! It shouldn't mean anything to anyone else either." I whispered, my voice so frail it was almost inaudible, but by the look on Gale's face I knew he heard.

"What does your father think about this? Better yet what would he think about this? I assume you haven't told him." You assumed right Gale.

"He doesn't know, nor will he until I tell him." I told Gale, hoping desperately he would once again change the subject.

"Just know, I'm disgusted with you, Katniss. I will be seeing you as my blushing bride soon." Gale snarkily remarked. I frowned at him. How would he even do that, what would he do to Peeta? No matter how angry at Peeta I am, nor how much I hate the stupid child inside of me, I can't let anything happen to Peeta, especially not by Gale's hand.

"No Gale, you can't have me as your blushing bride. I am already married and I'm happy. Don't you want me to be happy?" I begged him, his stormy grey eyes, so similar to mine, shone angrily.

"I don't believe that, Katniss. I don't believe you are happy with that guy. I have something to ask you." Gale muttered furiously.

"What is it Gale?" I whimpered. I hated how weak I felt next to Gale, any other time I would have slapped him by now, but right now the way I am feeling all my anger towards Peeta faded. I only had fear for Peeta, I was afraid of Gale.

"Did you-" He stops himself growing angry, "Did you say something about you being pregnant or you having a baby?" The color drained from my face, I suddenly felt like I was going to throw up Sae's soup.

"I did." I told him. And then Gale exploded angrily yelling at me.

"Katniss! How could you- How could you let him do that to you!? I thought you were stronger than that! I thought you would have more sense than to let him do that to you!!"

Gale was causing a scene, people were looking at us and I wanted to go die in a hole.

"Katniss, how in the hell can you say you are happy with a man who fucked you against your will!?" He yelled, the fact that he thought that made me furious and all my weak little fears left.

"It wasn't against my will, Gale! People do that after they get married you know! You are such a pervert! Why would I let anyone do that to me unless I wanted! You for one should know that being that I rejected you! Stop being an ass Gale and accept that I am happy with a man that isn't you!" I screamed at him, gaining more attention, but I didn't care.

"Not for long, Katniss." He said before quickly walking away from me in the direction of the Bakery. I wanted to follow him, but my way too hormonal emotions were crazy. I couldn't be that pregnant could I? I thought as I crumpled into a shaking ball on the floor. I cried and cried. People tried to comfort me but I couldn't stand it. Everything was raining down on me. The pain of the disapproval from everyone. Madge still had resentment in her heart towards me. Even if she said she didn't, I could see through her. The people were still patting my back and murmuring things to me when it occurred to me.

"Peeta!" I yelled before quickly standing up and pushing through the small crowd of people. I ran to the Bakery, by the time I got there it was too late, Gale was on top of Peeta and he was punching him, Peeta struggled desperately to fend him off, getting a few swings on Gale. I ran up to them and started pulling Gale back.

"NO! GALE STOP!!" I screamed at him as I tried to pull him off Peeta, the little I was doing helped because Peeta was able to shove Gale off of him. I tried to pull Gale away entirely, but he kept swinging his arms. Suddenly his hard elbow hit me in the stomach.

"Get off me you bitch!" He said as I fell backwards I saw Peeta shoving Gale away and running to me before my head hit the concrete and everything went black.

~

"Katniss," I heard a voice say. I blinked my eyes, "Katniss, honey are you okay?" I opened my eyes and saw Greasy Sae leaning over me. I looked around, then I remembered what happened, I tried to sit up but Sae put a frail hand on my shoulder and pushed me back, then I noticed there was something soft under my head.

"Sae, what happened to Peeta?" I asked, Sae looked up and to her right, then I heard the sound of two guys fighting. "No," I cried tears running down my face. I tried to sit up again to go help Peeta but Sae pushed me back again.

"No, girlie. Peacekeepers are handling it." Sae said. I was still so upset. Peeta, was he okay?

I lied on the floor letting my tears fall, "No, no, no, no, no," I murmured and cried. I heard the Peacekeepers. They seemed to be holding them back now. "Sae, can I please go see him?" I whimpered. Sae looked in the direction I assumed they were in.

"Fine, but let me help you up. You bumped your head pretty hard." Sae said, she pulled me into a standing position. I felt an uncomfortable pain in my stomach but I ignored it when I saw Peeta. He was so beat up, somehow though, he was in better shape than Gale was. I ran up to Peeta, getting light headed from bumping my head I assume.

"Peeta, baby are you okay?" I asked him, he looked at me from his sitting point on the floor, I fell onto the floor and wrapped my arms around him.

"I'm fine Katniss, are you okay? Please tell me the truth." I frowned at him because he was clearly not fine, he had a bruised cheek and jaw, a balck eye and busted lip. His arms had cuts and bruises on them, he wasn't fine.

"I'm okay, Peeta. Just lightheaded. The worst that could have happened to me is a concussion. I'll rest I promise." I told him, kissing his nose gently. He looked so guilty. his arms..he tried to hide it but his cuts had opened up again.

"Let's just go to bed," I say softly.

"I could use a good sleep. Katniss, I'm so-"

"I know.. We can talk later." I say.

He nods. I gently try to stand up, earning another twidge in my abdomen. I brush it off and help Peeta stand up. I turned around a last time before entering the Bakery. Gale gives me a cold glare and spits blood into the dirt. I close the door and lock it. Lupus is barking and comes running to us. We give him love and assure him his owners are fine. I tend to Peeta from what I know from my mother, then we climb into bed. It feels nice to have a warm body in bed again. Lupus was nice, but he's not Peeta.

"I'm sorry, Kat." He whispers to me before I fall into a deep sleep.

~

I wake soaked with sweat and in pain. My stomach is roiling and cramping, and lines of hot achiness are shooting up from the small of my back. Nausea is welling in my chest. I shove off the bed and stumble toward the bathroom.

I slam my knees into the floor in front of the toilet and retch. My body wants to fight the sharp contractions of my stomach, but I force myself to relax my tense shoulders and ride the waves of sick pain. I bring my forehead to rest on the toilet seat, but I end up in contact with the edge of the bowl. The vertigo is starting to overtake my vision again.

I press my face into the edge of the porcelain toilet bowl, trying to keep my grip on reality. My stomach is still cramping, and the pain is radiating horribly into my back and upper thighs. It reminds me of the soreness and nausea I'd had when I'd first gotten my period. But this is different, so much more intense. And I'm not supposed to be having a period. I'm pregnant.

I spit out residual strings of mucus, then ease myself off of my knees. I sit on my bottom with my faintly trembling legs stretched out in front of me. I comb my fingers through my sweaty hair, holding it off my neck. I reach to unstick my shirt from my lower back. The fabric clings to my damp skin, so I just pull it over my head and sit there in my bra. I use the wadded up shirt to wipe more sweat and puke off my face. I'm about to toss it into the corner when I notice the murky stain on the hem in the back.

The bathroom is dark, but I can plainly see the spot. It looks black on the dingy gray of my shirt. I run my fingers over the stain, and they come up dark and sticky. I hold my fingers close to my face. I can't mistake the metallic scent. Blood.

I drop my shirt and look down at myself. "Oh God," I gasp. "Oh fuck."

The crotch of my pants is saturated with blood, which is seeping down my thighs. I swear again and try to wipe my tainted fingers on my knee. The room seems to be moving in ellipses around me. Nausea is rising again.

I rest my elbows on the edges of the toilet bowl and hold my head in my hands. Within seconds, I'm gagging.

"Peeta!" I cry out. I wait for a response and hear his heavy snores.

"Peeta!" I say a little louder, trying to hold down the nausea that is coming.

"PEETA!!!" I scream and the tears roll down my face. I can't hold the puke in and I shove my face into the toilet bowl and vomit again.

I hear the scampering of Lupus and Peeta's footsteps racing. The door is flung open and Lupus comes to my side and starts whimpering and nuzzling at me.

"Katniss, Oh my God..." I hear Peeta gasp.

I feel myself being lifted up off the floor.

Stars are encroaching on the corners of my vision.

I sigh and try to move but I just grimace in pain. "Mmmmm," I groan as my stomach cramps..

"Hey, okay," he soothes, keeping me safe in his arms. I dry heave. "We'll get to your mother's."

I squeeze my eyes shut as the door slams. I crush my forehead into Peeta's strong chest as hard as I can. I begin to whisper under my breath, as much for comfort as to keep myself from passing out.

I barely get the last part out before I'm wracked with another painful cramp. I slam my forehead on him again. "God fucking damnit!" I yell as loudly as my raw throat will allow. "Why the fucking shit..."

Massive sobs are rising in my chest. I feel the cold breeze of the night rush against us.

"Fuck!" I'm still shouting and crying, and I'm not sure I'll ever be able to stop.

I hear the crack of the familiar wood in my old home. Peeta's pounding on the door is amplified in my head. It only makes me groan and whimper more. I hear the door open and a gasp, then Peeta is walking quickly again.

"Katniss," my mother says softly. Her cool hands find my cheek and the back of my neck. "Slight fever," she mutters to Peeta, "But it could just be activity. Can we get her in here?"

I'm lightheaded and listing to one side as he gently places me down someplace. The cold seat tells me I'm in my bathroom, but my gaze finds a face hovering in the bathroom doorway. Prim.

"Get out of here!" I yell with a catch in my voice.

My mother cups my face. "Shhh, Katniss. It's okay. They can help. She can help." I lash out at her with my clenched fist.

"Prim, get out! Don't see this," my voice dissolves into moaning sobs, "Don't fucking see this." I hear her footsteps retreating. I flop my head back and cry without restraint.

Peeta puts his arm around my trembling shoulders. My mother tosses a towel over my lap and eases off my pants and underwear.

I feel so bad. So exposed. Tainted. The piece of Peeta growing inside me is dead. For so long I'd wanted to kill it. Terminate it. Get it out of my way. But now that I'd decided to accept it, maybe even feel affection for what Peeta had created inside me, it's dead. My body was too hateful to let it live.

"Oh, Katniss," my mother sighs. She's standing at the sink, examining my soiled clothes. I know she's found it. Whatever it is, dead after seven weeks of growth. Already passed from my body.

I'm horrified and relieved and sad and embarrassed all at once.

Grief washes over me, starting at my head and rushing down my chest. I wrap my arms around his waist and cry and snivel into his belt buckle. He strokes my hair. "You'll be okay, Sweetheart," He says.

I pull away from Peeta and vomit a thin stream of bile onto the floor. He wipes my mouth with his sleeve.

My mother is back at my side. She is saying something about getting me to bed. That sounds wonderful. I'm so achy and seasick. She ushers Peeta out of the bathroom and sees to cleaning me up a little. She washes the blood from my legs, wipes my sweaty face, and dresses me in a clean shirt.

My mother lets Peeta back in to hold me up while she readies the bed. I'm too weak and shaky to make it to our home, so I'll be staying at my old home for the night.

I sip water from the glass Peeta holds in front of me. The cool liquid feels wonderful on my raw throat, but it hits my stomach badly. The coldness just intensifies the cramps. I imagine the luxury of laying down on the soft mattress and forgetting all about today.

I don't have to wait long before Peeta and my mother support me to bed. I lay on a pile of towels to soak up the blood that still drips from me. My mother pulls the blankets up to my chest. She smooths a hand over my forehead. "There, you're much cooler now," she says.

My mother gently touches my foot through the blankets.

"Well, Katniss, Peeta, I have good news and bad news. Which would you like first?" My lip quivered as I looked at Peeta, he glanced at me, then to my mother.

"Bad news." I braced myself to hear the words, but it hurt so much.

"I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry, but you've lost one of your babies," I started whimpering and then I just let it out, my sobs racked my body, Peeta wrapped me in a hug, I sat up and hugged him back, he murmured in my ear.

"We'll be okay, it's okay, I love you, I love you so much" Just sweet nothings, or so I thought. "She said one of the babies. don't lose hope" I stopped sobbing, my tears still falling but I controlled my breathing.

"Momma, what do you mean?" I asked, my eyes shone with hope and tears. She smiled at me and hope flooded me.

"Katniss honey, you have three babies in your stomach, only one of them passed away, you still have two healthy babies." She told me, I melted into Peeta, we both had tears in our eyes, we were still broken from the loss of our baby, but two more healthy ones.

"How do you know?" Peeta asked. "I mean, how can you tell?" he continued.

"Well, I heard to separate heartbeats in her stomach, I felt around down there and it seems that there are three eggs, one is significantly harder than the others, because I only heard two heartbeats it means the third fetus is deceased, I'm sorry." I glanced at Peeta, my heart ached for him. What if that was his son? That he will never teach to play ball and paint. Or his daughter? He will never get to show the special ways to knead dough. I had stolen that from him.

"Mother, we have a patient! It's Gale!" Prim called not paying attention to who was there, she hadn't seen us yet.

"Prim, I'm with another patient, he can't be that bad can he?" My mother said.

"Mother," Prim said entering the room, speaking up, she looked at Peeta and I. "What is he doing here?" Prim hissed, my mother apparently on my side sighed.

"She needed me Primrose, she lost her child, thanks to him. But now I have to fix up Mr. Mellark here." I smiled gratefully at my mother, she put a cream on Peeta's arms, over his cuts. It was amazing how she could work and talk at the same time.

"Can we talk Katniss?" Prim asked.

"Now isn't the best time." Mother told her sternly. My mother pulled my hand from Peeta's to quickly wrap up a particularly bad cut. She placed our hands together again, they intertwined immediately, naturally.

"Why not?" Prim asked, hurt laced in her voice.

"Because, Primrose. Now leave them alone." Mother said.

"Oh, well promise me we can talk soon?" Her bright blue eyes, so similar to Peeta's.

I nodded.

"Let's get you taken care of, Peeta. See if we can get Mr. Hawthorne looked at too." My mother said to him.

He looked down at me. His eyes had the pain we both felt at this moment. He kissed my hand and left.

"You'll watch her, Primrose?" Mother said.

"Yes, mother."

My mother shut the door and it was only Prim and I. She hesitantly came and sat on the bed.

"Katniss, how are you okay with this?" She whispered.

"Okay with what? Being in love? I'm not okay with it. I fought it, but now I see that it makes me happy. And now, I'm happy with it. Having a baby is also something I'm not okay with. I have no faith in myself. I've already been a horrible mother.. I killed one of my babies, Prim. There are so many things I'm not okay with or I wasn't okay with but times change, I changed." I whispered.

"Katniss, it's been less than three months. How much could you have changed?" Prim said, almost as if she was annoyed with me. That had never happened before. Not like this.

"I'm pretty sure it's been more than three months. but, a lot. I can and did change a lot. The same way you did. Last time I saw you you still had two braids in your hair. Now it's only one. Last time I saw you, you still had your baby face. Now it's thinning out and you're turning into an attractive young lady. And now I'm afraid she is too pretty for her own safety," I said, being entirely serious. There were some disgusting dogs in our District and they had no limits.

"Those are physical changes, Katniss. You are mentally an entirely different person. Most of your opinions haven't changed. But now, your entire way of life has changed. Katniss you aren't the sister I had. I feel like I don't know who you are." Prim told me fiercely, I hated it but I understood her.

"Prim, I hate that you feel like that. If you would have let me, I could have brought you along to watch me grow. I'm sorry you missed it, But this.. is who I am now." I whispered gently, my heart ached as a silent tear fell down her cheek.

"You're right, Katniss. That's the same. You're always right. I don't understand your relationship. I don't really understand anything about your new life, but I want to be a part of it." Prim said, I pulled her into me and gave her a hug. I missed her warmth beside me, it had been far too long since I had her in an embrace like this.

"I'll gladly bring you along," I whispered into her hair.