PEETA

When I asked Katniss to stay for lunch yesterday, with a big smile and soft eyes, I felt relief when she accepted. I didn't really mind having company while eating, in fact, it was nice. We had talked about anything and everything, those types of conversations that just go and go and before you know it, the time is over. And oddly Katniss always made sure to talk with respect. I was older and her boss, after all. I don't know if it's necessary to speak formally, considering that we've made out two times already. Not that I mind.

Besides that, having lunch with the girl was a step closer to my goal. Sure, she was shy at times, like the teenager she is, but I could talk for us both and I could make her feel at ease too. Today she talked about how she saw her sad friend, and that she felt like a bad one herself for not being there for her. It was a step closer to feeling safe around me. I was good at that. Make people feel safe before grabbing them by the neck. Poor girl, the victim she would become. But it is like that when you have a fucked up childhood. Hmm .

I was close to mentioning it yesterday but didn't. Only that I had it rough. I wanted to save my sobbing childhood stories for another day. That shit is really is effective.

I laugh, caused by my own thoughts while coughing out the smoke, looking at the white stick with raised eyebrows. It was a long time ago I smoked, probably because I have been feeling good lately. But of course, it wouldn't last long.

It was the monthly dinner at the Mellarks today.

In about five minutes, I'd had to leave. All dressed up and ready, just collecting myself before walking into the hell I live in. Apart from other times, I wasn't ready today. I haven't seen my brothers or father in a long time and it makes me uneasy not knowing what our mother would do next, what it was she hated about me this month.

I swallowed audibly.

With glassy eyes and a shaking hand, I crush my cigarettes into the ground.

~

The district 12's only high school was a poor, worn place that hasn't been upgraded since it first opened. And the school contained children, whose children later started there and their children would follow the same path (probably because they didn't really have anywhere else to go) and it went on and on like this. Generation after generation would start at the district's only high school, and I was sure that just like the mother and fathers before them, the only thing the children actually did besides studying, was gossiping.

Yes, gossiping was the only thing the students actually did. I isn't sure now, but it sure was the shit in my years. Not that I was so good at it, though.

I remembered sitting in the cafeteria with Delly, eating our sandwiches for lunch and talking about stuff that 12-year old talked about. It was probably about the tree in Delly's backyard we climbed on the day before. We had climbed far up and screamed at the top of our lungs when we reached the crown of the tree. But Delly's father had come out of the house and sworn at us, demanding us to come down. We both received a smack on our head after.

As Delly talked, she suddenly stopped in the middle of eating her sandwich when her eyes suddenly became wide. Before I could address her sudden act, the blonde girl put down her sandwich and stood up.

"Hazel!" I turned around just as the brown hair girl did, who was walking past our table ready to leave the cafeteria. She was a Seam, you could see that from miles away. A typical one too. With soft big eyes, small body and, not so odd, hazel hair.

I didn't know Hazel that much. We had classes together sometimes and she sat beside me then. She didn't talk much, but she wasn't quiet either. Hazel always has a smile on her face and used to ask me about the bakery. I happily answered. We could hold a conversation.

But when Hazel approached the two friends, she looked like she was ashamed. Exhausted and unsure, studying our faces before sitting down next to me. Yet, the smile still remained even if it was a bit forced.

"Delly, Peeta." Delly swallowed like she is afraid and I feel so lost. Gripping my sandwich mid-air as I looked at the two girls with raised eyebrows.

"Is it true, Hazel?" Now it is the Seam girls turn to swallow, her cheeks turning a bit red under her olive-colored skin as she looks around her, afraid that someone might hear. Nobody was listening, but they definitely looked at her. Some with smirks on their faces, others with shocked wide eyes as someone whispered in their ear.

"Yes." Delly's face became hard. Mouth in one straight line and I didn't dare to ask what was happening. But I really wanted to know. "It's gonna be fine, Delly. He bought us a house and we're getting married tomorrow. It's all good." Hazel smiled once again when she looked at my confused face. "And you should keep your ears open, Peeta."

Delly laughed together with Hazel, but I still didn't understand.

"It's gonna be fine." Hazel said once again, standing up to leave. Placing a hand on her stomach. "Just fine."

When she leaves, Delly glare at me and calls me stupid. I asked why.

"How can't you know? Everyone talks about it, Peeta." She takes a big bite from her forgotten sandwich, talking with muffled sounds. "She's pregnant."

My eyes turned wide, face turning red at the thought that Hazel has done it. Not so odd, being 12 years old. But she was so young, just 15-16 and not even married.

"It's some miner, according to the rumors. Mike, Miles Hawthorne? I don't know, but he just turned 19. Her parents will be so maaaad." She shrugs. "But she seems happy."

She was. According to Delly, months later, Hazel gave birth to a healthy boy that she loved more than the world. Hazel and her husband were so deeply in love and I remembered how Delly sighed with dreaming eyes when talking about them.

Now, back to reality, I stood right in front of the Hawthorne household and watched their old, worn house that seemed to collapse any second. My bored eyes glance at the wooden door, imagining a pregnant Hazel in white in her husband's arm walking through the threshold with love and hope.

There was no such thing as that.

I knocked in the door and almost a minute later, the same typical Seam looking girl opened. With the same soft eyes that turned wide in shock and still same old hazel hair that was on top of her head in a bun. She had aged a lot, wrinkles covering around her eyes and pan. I guess that grief and sorrow makes you age. The widow looked nothing like a 32 years old and I didn't even feel guilty that I at least looked my age.

I glance down. The arms on her shirt were folded up and her hands were soaked in water, fingers wrinkled like raisins. Perfect .

"Hello, Hazel." I smile as soft as I can.

"Peeta!" she says after a few seconds of just staring, smiling big. "My- it was such a long time ago! Come in, come in!" She lets me inside, leading me to the kitchen and insists that she makes me a tea.

"I'm sorry for my rude staring, I was just so shocked to see you."

"I understand." I said, sitting on the chair while sipping on the warm drink. "I heard you were washing, so I bought a carpet with me I really need to clean." I really didn't need to clean it. "Thought it would be nice to meet an old acquaintance."

"Of course, It'll be done by next week." I smile.

"Perfect. Katniss told me you are the best in the district." Hazel lifted her eyebrows.

"Katniss?"

"Yeah, she works for me." I sipped my tea. "Such a passionate girl." I said, hiding my smile behind the cup.

"She is. A very hard working girl."

"But..." I look down at my cup, worrying about covering my face as I sigh. "I'm a bit... concerned."

"About Katniss?" Hazel asks surprised, shocked that I would care about a teenager.

"She may look strong, but a girl, so young that she is, can only hold on for so long. I feel like her boss, it's my duty to help her. Katniss is tired, Hazel. She needs a husband, someone to take care for her and she has mentioned many times that your son, Gale, is the one she has in her mind." Hazel's face is unreadable, yet I manage to see a spark of happiness in her eyes. "But he hasn't done much to approach her..."

"What?" Hazel burst out. "I've talked to Gale about it and he said he would ask for her hand. That was more than a month ago though..." She groans, smacking her hand over her eyes. "That stupid boy, I bet he chickened out."

"Like I said, a girl can only hold on for so long." I stand up. "We get new customers at the bakery daily. Miners and workers. And Katniss... let's just say that she likes the attention the young men give her."

Hazel freezes, her eyes become big and her mouth is parted wide open. Like she's seen a ghost, her skin becomes pale and I know I did my part. In this District, it was all about reputation. And this is a scandal. If the others knew of Katniss behavior, the girl would never marry. Nobody wants a slut.

And not marrying.... Well, you might as well hang yourself.

"Thanks for the tea. I'll be back next week." I gave the lady a smile, who still looked at me with a worried, horrified face. "Don't worry Hazel. Teenagers these days need someone who can control them. I'm sure your son will do an amazing job. And please, don't tell anyone what I just said. Katniss may be wild, but she still is a good kid."