Arlene's Point of View

I woke up with a headache. I'm used to it but I still hate it. Umupo muna 'ko para hindi ako masyadong mahilo 'pag tumayo ako.

I was about to stand up to go to my desk. Kaya lang bago pa 'ko makatayo nang tuluyan, yumuko ako para kunin ang phone ko sa ilalim ng aking unan.

That was unusual.

I don't really check my phone early in the morning but suddenly I feel like I need to check it right now.

Oh, there's a text message from Noreen but I didn't bother to open it cause I received another text message. The person who texted me is not in the contacts.

A text message from an unknown number.

Since it's from an unknown number, I decided to view Noreen's message first. She's just asking me if I followed her. And of course, I'm not in the mood to text her back like the usual. If she will nag about this, I can just say that I'm busy.

Hindi naman big deal na nag-bar ako kagabi. And this is my life, she don't have the rights to order me around.

I pressed the back button of my phone to view the message from an unknown number. The text message is just a simple 'Hi'. I quickly typed on my keyboard for a reply.

To: 09xxxxxxxxx
Hello, if ure the guy I met last night. F*ck off, I don't need a jerk in my life.

I sent it. Ganon naman talaga ang sinasabi ko sa lahat ng nilalandi ko sa bar 'pag nakukuha nila ang number ko. Madalang lang naman mangyari kasi hindi naman ako nagbibigay ng number. But some of the guys just have their ways.

The unknown number replied to my text message. I quickly tapped it. 'Pag hindi ito tumigil mag-text, block ko na.

From: 09xxxxxxxx
i'm not a guy pwede bang makipagkita? sa café katapat ng building ng condo mo

Oh.

This is a bit suspicious but why do I feel like the person I'm talking to right now is telling the truth. I don't know if this is the right thing to do but. . . whatever.

I agreed to meet him or her. He or she told me that he or she will be at the nearby café at lunch time. It means marami pa 'kong time magsulat bago ang aming pagkikita.

I don't know why but this meet up makes me nervous.

- - -

Nakaupo at nakaharap ako malapit sa pintuan. Kararating ko lang, am I too early? Alas-onse nang umaga ang oras nang tumingin ako sa orasan dito sa café. Ang alam ko lunch time naman na ang eleven am.

Nag-text uli sa 'kin kanina ang nagpapunta sa 'kin dito. Naka-shades daw siya at naka-dress. So far, wala pa naman akong nakikitang pumapasok na may shades at naka-dress.

Habang hinihintay ko ang nagpapunta sa 'kin dito, luminga-linga muna 'ko at tumingin sa ginagawa ng mga tao.

May mga magkakaibigan na nagkwekwentuhan. May mga estudyanteng nag-aaral. May mga naka-business attire at parang nagme-meeting. Napatingin ako sa counter at nakita ko ang mga barista na nagpapahinga.

Ano kayang buhay nila sa labas ng café na 'to?

As a writer, naiisip ko 'yon. Palagi akong napapatanong kung ano kaya ang storya ng buhay nila. I like observing people. It helps me on how I create a realistic character.

Bago ko ibalik ang tingin ko sa glass door, nahagip ng paningin ko ang isang lalaki. Nakatitig siya sa 'kin at nakangiti. He even winked at me when our eyes met. He looks like a sh*tty weirdo.

Minabuti ko na lang na ibalik ang aking tingin sa glass door, kaysa pansinin ang weirdong lalaki na malapit sa table ko.

There's a woman who entered. She's wearing a nice red dress. Luminga-linga siya na parang may hinahanap. Of course I didn't wave at her, she's wearing a dress but she doesn't have a sunglasses. I quickly looked away when our eyes met.

“Babe! I'm here!” A guy near my table said.

He's also the guy who stared and winked at me earlier. Saan naman niya nakuha ang lakas ng loob na gumanon kahit may girlfriend na siya?

Babe? ew, what a sh*tty call sign.

The girl in a red dress quickly ran towards her babe. She hugged him tightly.

“I missed you,” the girl said.

“I missed you more,” the guy responded.

Okay, I want to have some popcorn. I don't know if I'm watching a st*pid romance movie or something. They kissed each other, I just looked away.

All men are jerks.

Biglang may kumatok sa table ko. It's a woman wearing a floral dress. Her lips looks sweet and feminine because of the coral pink shade, unlike the dark red lipstick on my lips that looks feisty.

Like what she said on the text message, she's wearing a sunglasses. I stared at her from head to toe.

Ang laki ng pinagbago niya.

And suddenly I started sweating while my heart is beating so fast. I'm also trembling while a few memories are coming back to my head. Feeling ko mababaliw na 'ko.

“Wala kang kwenta! Ikaw ang malas sa pamilyang 'to, bakit ba kasi nabuhay ka pa! Mula nang ipanganak ka puro na lang kamalasan ang nangyari kila mom and dad. Kasalanan mo!”

If she thinks na hindi ko siya makikilala dahil nagbago na siya, nagkakamali siya. Kahit kailan hinding-hindi ko siya makakalimutan.

Lahat ng mga alaala ko sa kanya na binaon ko na sa limot ay unti-unting bumabalik. Kung paano niya 'ko sigawan at saktan na para bang hindi niya 'ko kapatid.

“Arlene,” she said in a soft voice and she held my trembling hands.

“Ikaw ang sumira sa pamilyang 'to! Malas ka kasi kaya nagkawatak-watak tayo!”

Paulit-ulit na nag-echo sa aking utak ang kanyang mga sinabi no'ng huli kaming nagkita. 'Yon lang ang naaalala ko because everything went blurry.

The next thing I knew ay nasa comfort room na 'ko at pinupunasan ang mga luhang walang tigil na tumutulo mula sa aking mga mata. Suddenly, I feel like I'm suffocating.

Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out.

I kept on saying that for a few more minutes. Nang maging okay na ang aking paghinga ay pinunasan ko ang aking mga luha. I looked at the mirror in front of me. I smiled.

Napagdesisyunan kong babalik ako sa kanya na parang walang nangyari. I'll show her the new version of me. Ang pagkatao na pinapakita ko sa lahat ng tao.

I won't let her see the side of me that she saw earlier. Nag-retouch lang ako, kinapalan ko ang lipstick ko.

Lumakad ako palabas ng comfort room na parang walang nangyari. She immediately stood up when she saw me. Honestly, hindi lang mga kamay ko ang nanginginig. Buong katawan ko rin.

Kahit nanginginig ako, I managed to walk like a supermodel towards her. I sat in front of her. Tinanggal na niya ang sunglasses niya. She's just staring at me while smiling.

Pinigilan ko ang sarili kong umiyak. 'Yong ngiti niya, ganon siya ngumiti sa 'kin no'ng mga bata pa kami. Itong babaeng nasa harapan ko ang Ate Irene ko na miss ko na nang sobra.

“Wow, ang laki na ng pinagbago mo Arlene. You look really beautiful,” she said.

I kept my poker face. So, she started the the conversation with a compliment, huh?

“You too,” I responded. I tried my best to make it short. She just smiled at me as a response.

Natahimik kaming dalawa. Wala naman akong ibang masasabi kaya hinayaan ko na lang na mamayani ang katahimikan.

I decided to roam my eyes around the café. The guy is staring at me again while smiling. I just rolled my eyes and looked away.

Seriously? Salita nang salita 'yong girlfriend niya na nasa harapan niya tapos tumitingin siya sa ibang babae?

Pagtingin ko sa aking harapan, nagulat ako dahil nakatitig pa rin sa 'kin si Ate Irene. She's even smiling like a psycho.

Okay, this is weird.

Sure ba siyang hindi siya baliw? First, she changed her style. Second, she's smiling at me like a madwoman.

“Una sa lahat, gusto ko sanang humingi ng tawad sa mga nagawa kong masama sa iyo dat-” I cut her off.

“Kalimutan na natin ang lahat ate. Ilang taon na rin ang lumipas,” I said while faking a smile.

I removed the coldness in my tone and the short replies on whatever she's saying. I need to make it sound like I'm sincere.

Did she really think that I will forgive her? I hate her, she ruined my life.

But still, kapatid ko pa rin siya. I can't hate her forever. I won't hate her from now on. But what she's asking me is too much. How dare her ask me to forgive her.

She smiled, and of course I smiled back fakely. I'm starting to hate this fake fun and bubbly personality image of mine. All the people around me are sh*tty, except Noreen.

- - -

“So, how's life? Kumusta ka na?” She asked me while sipping on her hot coffee.

Nag-order kami ng drinks. Sabi niya nagda-diet daw siya kaya tinapay lang ang kinakain niya sa tanghalian. Of course, I didn't order a meal. Hindi magandang tignan kung kumakain ako tapos siya hindi.

“I'm okay, hindi ako naka-graduate ng college but I do have a stable job.”

I don't know if writing is a stable job, but I'm earning money. Pake niya ba kasi sa buhay ko. Bigla-bigla na lang kasing sumusulpot na parang kabute.

I sipped on my orange juice. Hindi ako umiinom ng kape. I hate coffee. I feel so bad kasi wala man lang kahit anong alcoholic beverage rito sa café na 'to.

I'm imagining that the orange juice I'm drinking right now is a cocktail.

Natahimik kaming dalawa. Sa sobrang sama ng loob ko dahil sa iniinom kong orange juice, nakalimutan ko nang pahabain ang usapan. Just to bring back the atmosphere earlier, I asked her the same question she asked me.

“I'm happily married and a mother,” sabi niya na parang iniisip ang kanyang pamilya.

How sweet, she have a nice life now. Habang ako nagdudusa pa sa lahat. Buti na lang Noreen always help me.

Because of what I heard, may naalala akong pinag-usapan namin dati.

“Ateee! Promise mo ha I'm a maid honor sa wedding mo ha!” I said while jumping.

“Baby sis, wala pang boyfriend ang Ate mo. But I promise that you will be the maid of honor and you will help me organize my wedding ha,” masayang sabi niya sa 'kin.

Sa sobrang saya ko, nayakap ko ang ate ko! Hindi na 'ko makapaghintay na lumakad siya papunta sa Prince Charming niya.

A few years ago, I can't believe na naniniwala ako sa mga Prince Charming dati. Fairy Tales don't exist in the real world.

“So, sinong maid of honor mo?” I asked out of nowhere.

Nahalata ko naman ang biglang pagbabago ng ekspresyon niya. Her facial expression changed quickly. I chortled. I tried to stop myself but my body betrayed me. Yumuko siya at parang nahihiya.

“Arlene look, I di--” again, for the second time I stopped her on continuing her sentence.

“It's not a big deal, Ate.” I said while smiling fakely. She smiled back at me, unlike my fake smile, her smile looks so genuine. Mukha siyang anghel.

Well, dati pa lang naman nasasabihan na siya na mukha siyang anghel no'ng mga bata pa kami. But suddenly, she changed. She started changing her style when everything went. . . whatever.

“So, anong pangalan ng mga pamangkin ko,” I asked. Yes, I'm really curious. There's a part of me that wants to meet her children.

“Uhm actually, isa lang ang anak ko. Her name is Stella, Stella Fernandez.” Sabi niya habang nakangiti nang sobra.

Grabe na talaga ang pinagbago niya. Nagbago ba siya o binalik niya lang ang dating siya? I'm not sure. But her attitude right now is way more better than her attitude before, when everything is f*cked up.

“Wow, ang dami nang nangyari sa buhay mo. You look happy and contented. So, why are you sitting in front of me right now? Bakit mo 'ko hinanap?" sunod-sunod na tanong ko.

Sana. . . sana hinanap niya 'ko dahil nami-miss niya 'ko. Sana bumawi siya sa mga pagkukulang niya sa 'kin.

Bumuntonghininga siya at inubos ang kanyang kape. Inubos ko na rin ang juice ko. I'm a little bit tensed because I'm waiting for her answer.

“Uhm, I need your help Arlene. Tulungan mo 'kong hanapin si Daddy.”

'Yon pala ang dahilan kung bakit niya ako hinanap. Why did I raised my expectation? Malas nga ako para sa kanya 'di ba?

Hindi ko talaga siya papatawarin kahit kailan.

Saan niya nakuha ang lakas ng loob na humingi sa 'kin ng tulong. Help her? help her on finding the person I hate the most!

He is the biggest thorn I met in this lifetime. All men are jerks, but my father is the jerkiest of them all.

yeojacosmos