Heyyaa, Character aesthetics are up there, ik it's not that good but guys, I tried. Hope you'll like it ;) Loads of lovee ;))
Happy reading<3

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'People often wear masks to protect themselves but sometimes they have to wear masks to protect others'

                                ~corona virus

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How do you know what is the most powerful thing? What exactly makes you more powerful than the rest?

I always wondered, what is the apex solution to all of our problems. They say every problem has a solution. But even if it was just lying there, waiting to be acknowledged, I never cease to doubt that, is it really the right one?

I've always doubted myself, even if I knew the answer. And this eventually leads me to another problem.

I've never trusted anyone, not even myself.

You know, this problem comes in handy when you spent most of your childhood being lonely.

My mother had serious anger issues, real issues, so being the elder one, unfortunately, I always got to see her wrath. I quiet admire her obstinate believe that I can always be expected to do the right thing. Among all those family gatherings, vacation, cousins and siblings, I was not alone but still, I felt lonely.

Nobody in this world have a closest idea of the mental acrobatics you had to do to get through that barren, sometimes scary childhood.

The fantasies, the whole new world with companions and the stories that you have constructed in your head - the one that saved you. That held you.

I'm glad they were there.

I was just a little girl. Yet always get blamed for every damn thing.

That little girl in me constantly questions herself - where did I go wrong? What did I do now? Why I'm not getting treated like other kids?

From all those cold aching nights I had spent outside the house as a punishment for being late, to the new trendy Barbie set of my peer group because of which I lost the track of time. I had learn one thing for sure.

Never. Expect. Anything.

To have expectations simply means to get your heart broken. Like for example, just take my father.

If he wanted, he could've saved me. He could've saved me from those beatings and punishments.

But he chose drinking over parenting.

He could've let me inside the house that night. My mind still can't forget it.But I was a fool to expect him to even care.

Even a guard would show a spoon full of sympathy to a lonely dog roaming outside, but who are we talking about.

He was too busy getting free drinks.

Too busy to even talk to me. Ever.

I can still feel the stinging pain in my back from sitting on cold floor. I can still feel the red hotness wetting my fingers as I used clutch my head, defensing myself from various sharp things thrown at me.

I can still feel the threatningly mesmerizing gaze of my mother, that had hold my pile of sobs until I locked the door of my room.

Blood clotting turned into scars. And then back to a new skin. But I can still feel them burning my flesh. Igniting my anxiety.

Some marks stayed. Some faded. But the worst are the ones, which you can't see. But they are right there, engraved deep into your soul.

My heart still churned vigorously at the memories, but my mind, it was paralyzed to that one phrase.

Never. Expect. Anything.

My arms were somehow enough to lend that tiniest bit of warm hug I needed.

That nine years old brain of that little girl didn't knew what she had done so wrong? And my eighteen years old brain was still just as clueless as her.

But now that I look back, things got a lot better when Ella was born. My mother seems a lot more like a normal, my father even watched The Lion King with her.

How... contradicting.

But it made me happy. Not because it was my favourite movie. I was happy that thing are getting close to normalcy. Although, it still didn't made him talk to me.

Problems comes with more problems. I can never expressed my thoughts, my views, how I feel, to anyone, it's just stays with me. I never shared my life problems, my feelings, nothing.

No one ever asked so I didn't feel the need to.

But then life changed, when I was in 12th grade, I met Kali a.k.a my partner in crime a.k.a my best friend, and at that time my life flipped. Totally.

Not because of my father's death. I didn't feel the emotion to cry. Call me an ungrateful bitch or wild child, but I didn't feel the same need of grieving like others. At one point, the relatives were forcing me to shed tears, thinking I was in an psycho aftereffect of shock. But, I didn't have any memory worthy to cry out.

After all, memories are the one which are grieved, right?

For the first time I felt like I wasn't the one always listening. Although we listened to each other but, she always make me see things through different perspective which I didn't knew was even available.

A better one.

In the middle of nowhere, one day, when I asked her, she just simply gave me the answer.

I never thought it was to easy, just three word, in order to be powerful, first you've to feel powerful, something which everybody knows still nobody knows it.

Patience is Power.

I was so confused at that time. How can one feel powerful when he's being patient? How can one feel powerful when he patiently tolerate, listen...submit?

But then she explained me like it was obvious.

Patience doesn't mean you have to submit, to give yourself completely but, to have the time and power to know when to use what efficiently and with whom.

Patience gives you the power of resistance. Patience gives you the time to see a completely messed up complex situation with every single eye and the power to you to make right decision.

Nothing in the world, is more powerful than the one who has control on his senses.

And that's when she introduced me the other side of the world. The underworld.

We both worked for Maze, the local secret agent who is secretly known for exceptional secret unit of bounty hunters and counter spies in all the bad books. And we, are one of them.

We're here more than a year now, and as the time passed, we actually like to burn the hell out of people. Kali mostly goes with the guns and powder and well, I stick with the knives and arrows.

Rings daggers too. They are my favourite.

I vaguely remember about that one client whom Maze recently handed over to us. Mr Scott, rich businessman, owns a heck load of motels in the city.

A very very peculiar case.

Lately, his servants and special employees were gone missing and found dead in some remote areas while he's receiving constant death threats.

As per the record, Mrs Conway, his business rival's goons from Conway & Jones are spotted near his head office.

Not quite elementary this time but if it was easy, it wouldn't be much of a task, would it?

Different kinds of thoughts, from all over the world ran through my mind when I get in the shower or getting ready. Getting out from my reverie, I tiredly glanced at the clock.

12:30 p.m.

Urrgh!

Huffing, I enthusiastically rushed downstairs carrying my sloppy shoulders and an even sloppier face.

I cleared my throat deliberately while gazing at my mother, who is clearly more engrossed in watching television to notice.

Ahemm

I wore a simple plain white t-shirt and dark blue denim with a cargo green jacket. Nothing to impress folks, it's just a pointless internship.

I started playing with the hem of my t-shirt, biting my lower lip. Something I do when I was thinking something or when I want something, not when I get nervous, I'd eat my nails then.

She didn't even budge a little, I cleared my throat again uhgrm!
and again. uhggrhhmm

"Do you have a cough ? I warned you not to stand too long under the rain like a zombie. There is nothing I can do about it." my mother spoke, without looking at me.

Ah! the eternal bond of motherly love. I can never get enough of it, can I?

As I told you, things got a lot more better when Ella came. My mother even began to start conversations with me on regular intervals, although it mainly involves taunting. And being with Kali I gained a lot more confidence, which I badly needed.

I threw her an angry look, completely knowing that she won't be able to see me with her back facing me.
I waited a longer as I shifted my weight from one leg to another.

"You do want something, don't you?" my mother asked a.k.a questioned.

"I'm going to the internship." I stated.

"Oh, I nearly forgot...then you have my permission so go and..." I waited for the very particular permission I want " ...close the door behind you." she informed, switching from animal planet to some cooking channel.

I crossed my arms in front of my chest, "You told me that I've to pick Rick, didn't you?" she turned her head an inch so she could look at me, "then.. " and gestured by flipping her fingers, "what are you waiting for, hurry up and leave, you'll make him late."

"I need your car, mother." I informed her, rolling my eyes.

Her eyes shot a little hint of realization and salted irritation, then went back to blank. "Oh I see! ..keys are on the dining table and..." she continued with a warning look, "don't you dare roll your eyes at me."

I sighed and nodded, huffing, I picked up the keys and was just about to close the door behind me, "And try not to embarrass me." my mother coldly hissed.

Quite impressive way of wishing you good luck.

I looked at the gigantic grey coloured building in awe, which stood right in front of me. After I picked up Rick, we headed straight towards our destination. The ride was silent for which I was very grateful.

"This is where we're supposed to slave." I blurted out, examining suspiciously the building.
The doormen were in a dark black suits wearing dark black ray bans. Even there tie look expensive.

No wonder the pay would be good.

Conway & Jones, hm? Sounds familiar....

Fate never cease to impress me.

I was cut off with my scrutinizing, "Yes, now if you are done staring, move to the parking, we are already late."

Corner of my mouth quirked up a little, "Whatever you say, Dick."

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Stayyy tuned. :)

Lovexyou. ❤️

*Curtsy*