** There are probably typos in here somewhere. If there are, please let me know! I didn't have time to edit this. Today was an extremely long day at work...**

Tansy's POV

"Honey, are you alright? You look pale as a ghost." The doctor said, her tone laced with worry. I swallowed the lump in my throat that felt like a chunk of lead before shrugging my shoulders.

"Are you sure? What about the discharge?" I questioned, my voice so small and childlike. She rolled over to where I was sitting before patting my knee with her hand in a comforting manner.

"Vaginal discharge is common with pregnancy, but your HCG levels are too high for me to account this anything else, sweetheart. If I had to guess I'd say you're probably only a couple weeks along." She explained calmly.

"What do I do now?" I asked more to myself than to her, though that didn't stop her from answering.

"At this point, you need to have the discussion with not only yourself, but also the father, on where you want to go from here. It's a great thing that we caught this so early because now you have time to think about your decision whether to carry to full term or terminate this pregnancy." She said looking slightly regretful. Did she just fucking insinuate that I abort my child?

"I'm keeping this baby whether the father wants it or not." I growled vehemently, my emotions getting the better of me as my eyes watered just thinking about "terminating" this pregnancy - as she so professionally put it.

"That's wonderful, dear. Unfortunately, that's something I have to ask for standard protocol. Now, I'm going to prescribe you some prenatal vitamins that you can just pick up at the pharmacy. Along with that, you need to be sure you're taking excellent care of your body and making good life decisions as you're in a very fragile stage of your pregnancy right now. The first trimester is when almost all miscarriages occur. This means no alcohol or drugs of any kind - ever." She lectured.

"Oh my God, I had a couple beers the other night!" I gasped, looking at her with a horror-filled face.

"It's fine, honey. You didn't know and it wasn't intentional. The baby should be just fine." She reassured me with a warm smile. She handed me a brochure of information about the first trimester of pregnancy and all the do's and don'ts. "Now you need to make sure you're eating a high protein diet with lots of fruits and vegetables - especially those with folate as it's vital for the proper growth and development of your child's spinal cord. There will be all the necessary vitamins in what I prescribed you, but it's best to be on the safe side and also get those vitamins and minerals from food as well. Do you have any questions at this time?" She asked, giving me an expectant look. I took a deep breath and tried to calm my brain enough to ask what I wanted to know.

"When is the next time I need to come in?"

"We'll schedule you an appointment for four weeks from now. By that point, I'm certain you'll be six or seven weeks along which means we'll be able to take a transvaginal ultrasound to detect the heartbeat." She spoke with a smile. I released a deep breath before nodding, still light-headed and slightly nauseous from the information she'd just shared.

"I'm not sure what else I have questions about just yet." I mumbled out, still in a state of shock.

"Alright. Well, you have the number of my office, but I always give first-trimester moms my personal cell number just in case anything were to happen that you needed my attention immediately." She rattled off while typing a few things into her computer before turning around and giving me a business card with her name and phone number on it. I smiled, grateful to have been able to have such a caring doctor.

But then it hit me. Oh my God, I'm actually a biological mom now.

**

I was finally on my way home from the doctors. After coming to the scary realization that I was, indeed, a mom I passed out. Apparently it took me fifteen minutes to come to, but then Dr. Anderson was worried about me driving, so she made me wait around her office for twenty minutes just to be sure.

I drove through and got a massive burger on my way home, feeling horrible the second I took the last bite after having just been lectured about eating healthy. I made a mental promise to myself and my little baby that from that point forward nothing greasy or non-nutritious would enter my mouth until I was done breastfeeding at least. Well, I guess I'll finally give up fast food like I've been planning since senior year of high school.

I sat in my car parked against the curb in front of my sister's house while downing my burger shamelessly. While I still felt hungry, I wasn't starving like I'd felt five minutes ago. Finally, while heaving a sigh, I swung my door open and sauntered up to the front door. At that moment, I was really regretting not fully chewing my food because it was starting to turn in my stomach from nerves.

I pulled out my own copy of their house key before letting myself in. It had been a few days since I'd last talked to Evan in any form, so I was not only here to drop my massive bomb on her, but to also do a well-being check. I wandered through the house, finding Poppy in her sunroom reading as per usual.

"Hey, just wanted to let you know I'm here. I'll be down in a bit to talk, but I'm just gonna go see Evan first." I informed her after peaking my head into the room. She smiled at me, but I could see the upset glimmer in her eyes. Uh-oh.

Making it to Evan's old bedroom that she was currently residing in, I pushed the door just far enough to crack it open and take a peek inside. She laid on her bed in almost the exact same position she was in a couple weeks ago. Stepping inside, I made sure not to make too much of a disturbance while shutting it once again and coming to stand next to the bed.

"Evan?" I murmured, just a hair louder than a whisper.

No response.

"Ev?" I tried again.

Nothing.

"Evangeline?" I said, voice raised slightly more than normal.

"Sca-oh." She spoke, shooting upwards in bed. I can't believe I forgot that she said he's the only one that ever used her full name. That it was something special between them. Fuck, I'm such an idiot.

"Hey, boo." I mumbled before patting her thigh in a gesture to get her to move over and make space on the bed for me. Once she did, I pushed my shoes off and pulled the covers back before climbing under. Pulling her to me, I guided her head so that it was resting on my chest. Her head followed the gentle up and down sway of my breathing for the five minutes of total silence that followed.

"Your hair is so fucking greasy." I said through a giggled while running - well trying to run - my hands through her tangled hair. She laughed half-heartedly along with me before squeezing my body in a slight hugging gesture.

"How have you been holding up?" I asked dumbly.

"How does it look?" She grumbled back. I nodded, touche. "Mom's worried about me, isn't she?" She asked while adjusting her face so that she was looking up at my face.

"What do you think?" I shot back, using the same tone she'd just used on me seconds before.

"What about you? You look like you've seen some shit since the last time I saw you." Evan slightly joked, surprising me with the level of humanity she was sporting. Up until this point, Poppy was convinced she'd turned into a zombie. After I made the mental note to update Poppy, her question sank into my brain.

"I have." I answered bluntly before releasing a puff of air through my lips. She gave me a go on look before I got the balls to continue. I proceeded to tell her all about how Calla was doing first and how pre-school was going because discussing her always put me in a better mood. I could see it was also doing some good in lifting Evan's own spirits as well, which made me smile even wider - but that soon disappeared as I delved into all the shit Tanner and I had been going through.

I told her all about the incredible sex which was soon followed by Tanner being a moron and the stunt he pulled with Titty - who Evan also shared my same sentiments about. I would've laughed had I not been so pissed when her face curled into a disgusted sneer at the mere mention of Titty's name.

"God, it's no wonder he and Scar are such good fucking friends. They both do the most fucking idiotic things that have absolutely no backing and come from so far left field that they give you whiplash!" She growled, getting wound up the more she spoke. I couldn't blame her - at least Tanner somewhat came to his senses and is trying to fix things - albeit how stupid he's going about it.

"Well, there's more." I rasped out, unsure of how I wanted to approach the subject.

"Oookay..." Evan hesitated, obviously waiting for me to just get on with it.

"Yesterday night I finally came back to his place to spend the night with Calla because I decided it wasn't fair to her that I got myself into this mess with her father and now she was having to deal with the consequences. It was really awkward at first, but we just ignored each other the majority of the night until he wanted to talk after Calla had gone to bed." I started, my voice getting thicker and thicker with emotion as I spoke. Evan's own eyes began to shine with unshed tears before I'd even gotten to the bad part.

"Long story short, this fucker tells me he loves me even though he's done nothing to back up his declaration. Then, this morning he acted so differently around me before I had to leave for my doctor's appointment and I don't understand his motive. Next thing I know I'm sitting in my fucking gyno's office being told that his stupid ass knocked me up." I said, starting to sob as my emotions got the best of me as Evan's body tensed up.

"I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, Evan. I know that I was starting to develop deeper feelings for him but right now all we have is a physical attraction. And I don't want to tell him about the baby-"

"Tansy, you have to tell him." Evan insisted while sitting up in bed and giving me the most serious look I'd ever seen on her face ever before.

"I wasn't finished," I sneered. "I don't want to tell him because having a man stick around for a child simply because they share genes is almost worse than not sticking around at all. I can't have this child ever feeling how I do, Evan. I can't put something - my child - that I already love so fiercely through feeling like an obligation. I won't do it!" I cried, becoming hysterical as all the reality of the situation slammed into me like a semi-truck.

Evan immediately sprung into action, pulling me into a bone-crushing hug while rubbing my upper back and giving a light pat every once-in-awhile.

"Mom, stop eavesdropping and come in here." Evan demanded, her tears evident in her voice. Poppy immediately threw the door open and joined us on the bed.

"Tansy, you know mom and I love you with everything that we are." She whispered against the shell of my ear. "How could you ever feel like you were 'just an obligation'?" She demanded.

"God, Pops, I know you two love me with all your heart, but, I just....a girl needs her father sometimes." I responded meekly.

"I can't believe you've been feeling this way for years, and I didn't even know. I'm such a horrible sister." She wept.

"Mom, you and I were both in the dark so stop blaming yourself." Evan insisted before turning to look at me with a sympathetic look. "I'm so sorry if you ever felt like I wasn't here to listen if you wanted to talk."

"You both did nothing wrong. This was something I chose to internalize. I was...I was ashamed. I mean, if I wasn't enough to keep my own father around, what kind of kid was I? What kind of value did I have? It was embarrassing. I wish I would've never heard mom and dad's argument that night, but I did and there's nothing I can do about it now. Well, there is. I can be the best possible mother this world has ever seen. I can give my baby everything it could possibly ever need in life." I stated vehemently.

"Tansy, you can't do this all on your own without at least consulting the father first. He has a right to this child just as much as you do. This wasn't a one-way act. Whether it was love or just a couple hook-ups here and there, you both consented to this and that gives him a right to the baby that he had a part in creating." Poppy lectured wisely while giving me a harsh look.

She just knew me too well. Of course a tiny sliver of me wants to run away and never see Tanner again even if I'm carrying his child in my belly, but an even larger part of me wants to actually fall in love and live happily ever after with him. Unfortunately, my happily ever after doesn't consist of me spending the rest of my life trying to convince myself that a man unsure of his own feelings is actually in love with me.

"I'm going to tell him eventually," I started as they pensively awaited my answer. "There's more to this story that I haven't told you yet," I continued. "Last night he told me he loved me." I revealed. They both gasped before grasping one of my hands in excitement.

"That's amazing, Tans! Why aren't you happy?!" Evan demanded.

"Because I know that what he feels for me isn't love. Not yet, at least. Yes, we have an incredible attraction to one another that is unparalleled to anyone else I've ever met, but I don't want to spend the rest of my life clinging onto sex to keep my marriage alive. Poppy, when I watch you and Knox I don't see a married couple. I see two best friends with a vast history who are tackling life together one day at a time. You both do so many little things for one another without even being asked simply because you care. I want that, and I think Tanner and I could be that if we both weren't constantly fucking things up when our emotions get the best of us." I explained, tears running down my face as I finally got all my feelings out in the open.

"Oh, honey. It's about time I tell you both the full, unbiased story of Knox and I." Poppy said through a sigh. Both Evan and I furrowed our brows in confusion. Hadn't she told us this story before?

"When Knox and I first reconnected during my freshman year of college, I wanted nothing to do with him. Even after the first week or so, I still wanted nothing to do with him. He was rude, pushy, and extremely controlling. I felt like a backseat passenger in my own life more than half the time. So many people told me I was crazy for putting up with it and for staying with him. I was called naive and stupid so many times by both people that I knew and strangers that the words lost meaning to me." She began.

"Then why the hell did you stay with him?" Evan asked. "You helped me get out of a relationship just like that during high school!"

"Let me finish," she said before shooting Evan a chastising look. "I stayed because of the look in his eyes whenever it was just the two of us. No one else got to see the side of your father that I did. They didn't understand who he was when he was really being himself. I knew that he never intentionally made me feel the way I did when he was incredibly overbearing. Everything he ever did was for what he thought was my best interest. He truly loved me so much that, far too often, he made rash decisions in the heat of the moment without fully thinking things through.

"Now, for the first few frustrating years, I was still having to remind him that he couldn't make all my decisions for me and that I was a human capable of forming my own thoughts, but as we grew older and matured he began to understand the things I'd been trying to beat into his head since day one. Actually, things eventually switched and I make pretty much all our decisions now." She muttered followed by a laugh. "My point is, honey, that I've heard lots of things about the boys that come from where Knox used to fight and - unfortunately - they are almost all the same. They come from messed up homes, or even the streets, that screwed them up mentally and emotionally and now they need someone who will truly take the time and the love needed to help them find normalcy for the first time ever. I can promise you, from my own personal experience, every tear and night I spent feeling sick to my stomach over our arguments was more than worth it." She finished with a smile.

"I'm not the best person to speak on this concerning my circumstances, but I would agree with everything mom just said. Scar may be an absolute dumbass who handles things so fucked up that it makes me question his IQ, but I love him more than he'll ever know - more than anyone will ever know. Regardless if he comes back and we fix things or not, I will never regret the time we spent together. I probably won't pursue another man ever again either, but that's the risk we take when we love with everything we are and everything we have." She rasped out, tears forming in her eyes once again. Poppy and I both pulled her into a tight hug, just comforting her in silence for the long space of time that followed her declaration.

"I guess now you just have to ask yourself if you're willing to walk away and let another woman love him the way you know only you can." Evan sniffled out.

"Never." I growled instantly.